I've started to warm up again to the idea of being in radiology.... I'm in my first month of intern year (surgery) and am reminded of why I chose to avoid inpatient/clinical mecicine altogether. I've worked over 90 hours every week, with nothing but negative reinforcement for the rarest of tiniest of mistakes. When you perform flawlessly - having every page, every note, every lab, every dressing memorized and completed on time, all the while comforting upset families (often for upper level screw ups), coordinating social work, and having disgruntled nurses yelling at you etc etc etc, - you are basically invisible. No one notices - not patients, not upper levels, not anybody. They only notice when something falls through the cracks and then you get yelled at....Why would anybody choose this path...
I know this is also just part of being an intern regardless of field. But the bigger picture and the bigger part of my career dissatisfaction is that this type of stuff IS medicine. It is simply not an intellectual line of work - regardless of field. None of it really requires any genuine creativity or thought. It's just reacting to situations by algorithm day in day out. I realized this half way through my third year and almost decided not to apply to residency altogether. I am dual degree (MDPHD) student and came extremely close to doing a post-doc instead of residency to continue my research. But for reasons I wont go into I applied for residency instead, choosing radiology thinking that at least the hours will be OK, and that it will be somewhat more "intellectual".... I could make some money maybe get back into research at some point or maybe do something else altogether...im still hoping this will be rue.. But medicine as a whole I've become increasingly disenchanted with bc I think as a career it is a huge scam and totally misadvertised. The way it's sold to us while in college, and portrayed by society, you think it will an exciting, cutting edge career, but instead you're just a tool for extracting as much as money as possible from payers and patients. The amount of documentation, EMRs, ICD coding, and the whole mess, is just not really worth it anymore. Surgery is fun, but also extremely repetitive and the hours suck.
Anyway I'm not even sure what my point is anymore.... Basically for better or worse, I'm stuck in this career path towards radiology. I know it will be dull and repetitive, but having done two degrees I'm already a bit older than most...and never having made any real money, I just can't stomach the thought of changing careers. (As a side note, I will add, its extremely frustrating to see how the path of my career has aligned with the timing of the US economy...my friends and I came of age professionally during the housing meltdown crisis, and those that had jobs (coming out of 4 year college plans) were able to buy houses and investments for extremely cheap, and now some of them are essentially selling out and retiring from the workforce in their early 30s, to travel and enjoy their lives...and here I am, I'm finally making a little bit of resident money and housing costs are through the roof and I have nothing...basically I feel like I've worked so hard for so long, am now over 30, and still have to rent a shared 2/1 to make ends meet, despite having what society would tell you is a high paying, upper tier career....no time to date, no time to pursue other interests or travel, no personal life...)
In retrospect I should have pursued something with more creativity and thought and involved for my own needs, but at this point I just have to go to work every day and look for ways outside of my career to satisfy those desires. The money will come, and is frankly not the main issue, even if frustrating at times. However, this is why, in my earlier post I was so petrified of radiology becoming an unemployable career (ie, machine learning etc). I will completely go insane if after another 5-7 years of training I never reach any sort of pay off. It will break me. ....In any case, I will most likely try to get into IR for this reason, even if it means worse hours and getting brain cancer...
I know this is a long disorganized rant that probably sounds like burnout, but got to vent somewhere.