breaking the news to my PI

[kokodo]

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hey all,
pre-DO student here in her last yr of undergrad work.
I have a wonderful PI who i've been closely working with for about 10 months now.
it's his first lab and i'm his first student. he suggested that i apply to the program at my current institution and continue to work in his lab. he also offered to pay me to work in the lab during my gap year, which is flattering.. but after working in the lab, i realized that medicine is really my dream and i want to pursue it. i did show interest in medicine as well, and when i asked what it takes to get an A in the research (i'm taking it for units) he would joke and say something like, "what is a good enough grade for a grad school and not for med school?"... things are getting a bit more serious now he asked "let's discuss whether you want to start working in summer 'cause i have to get funding for you." and he also expressed his concern that if i decided not to stay, he would get disappointed. he did teach me a lot and spent a lot of time and effot to get me started in the lab. though my interest in research was genuine, i'm definitely leaning towards medicine and i even decided to do postbacc program during my gap yr, so i won't really have time to work in his lab. how and when should i break the news without hurting his feelings? (i'm planning to apply for postbacc in march-april) i'd also want to ask him for a LOR. am i overthinking the situation?
thanks sincerely for reading and your input

 

[littlegreen88]

I think you should let your PI know once you have finalized and are positive that medicine is the route for you. It seems like you have already made up your mind, so I suggest you let hhim know the closer it gets to you leaving or until he or she asks you directly. Although you have estblished a report with this person and respect him, that shouldn't make you feel guilty to follow your own path. I think as long as you give him enough notice then you should be fine. At the end of the day, as long as your are a great worker and are respectable and do the best you can, no employer can be angry with you for leaving. It seems like you already expressed your interest in medicine, so it is not like you have been lying to him. Also remember, that when it comes to jobs, they can let you go at any point in time for any reason there is absolutly no gurantees in the work force. I would just let him know once you know for sure, if he is truly an understanding person he will write you a great LOR. However, if you feel like he is angry after you told him that you are leaving, i would suggest foregoing asking him for it. Anyway thats just my two cents.
Follow your heart, you can't live life pleasing everyone, everyone comes out unhappy.

 

[drshark]

My PI jokes and asks me all the time if research has changed my mind about med school. Just let them know you really enjoy working in the lab and you have learned a vast amount but your true passion lies within medicine and healing people. No one can make you feel guilty about what you are passionate about.

 

[oms2]

your life's goals are more important than his lab.
if you don't have a good feeling, don't ask him for an lor.

 

[moocow47]

I think it's good that you're concerned but you should follow your heart. Since he already told you that he needs to start planning for next summer, let your PI know soon. Very, very soon.

And try to get a feel for how good/bad the LOR would be. It seems like the two of you joke around so you could say, "Working with you has been great blah blah blah we have a good rapport blah blah and I was wondering if you could write me an LOR, however (insert playful, mischievous smile here) when I tell you what the LOR is for, you might not be so happy. (back to serious face) Although I do appreciate that you "did teach me a lot and spent a lot of time and effort to get me started in the lab...and my interest in research was genuine" I've decided that my passion lies with medicine therefore I was wondering how you would feel writing me an LOR for medical school." Hopefully this approach will allow you to read between the lines of his/her response. I'm hoping he playfully chides you and then seriously says, "Yes I'd be happy to write an LOR." If you just straight up ask for an LOR then he can say yes or no without any subtext and it might be hard to gauge.

I feel like this would also be a good time to break the news that you won't be coming back b/c the reason you won't be coming back is due to med school, and you're also telling him how great he is which is another good time to break bad news, but at the same time maybe it's a bad time to mention the fact that you're not returning since you're asking for an LOR. I'll let others weigh in.

 

[kokodo]

wow thank you guys so much for the encouragement and suggestions. yes, as you guys pointed out i do feel guilty and thanks for telling me that i really shouldn't as i didn't lie to him or anything. moocow, i think that's a very witty way to ask. ill wait for the right time and think of what to say probably something along the line of what u suggested!
ill also look for backup for LORs. but it's gonna be for postbacc programs.
thanks guys!! 😀

 

[moocow47]

wow thank you guys so much for the encouragement and suggestions. yes, as you guys pointed out i do feel guilty and thanks for telling me that i really shouldn't as i didn't lie to him or anything. moocow, i think that's a very witty way to ask. ill wait for the right time and think of what to say probably something along the line of what u suggested!
ill also look for backup for LORs. but it's gonna be for postbacc programs.
thanks guys!! 😀

Glad to help. I'm new here, so would it be weird to ask you to let us know how it turned out?

 

[Prettypuff1]

My PI jokes and asks me all the time if research has changed my mind about med school. Just let them know you really enjoy working in the lab and you have learned a vast amount but your true passion lies within medicine and healing people. No one can make you feel guilty about what you are passionate about.

THis... all day..


I would be upfront with him asap.. Be gentle yet respectful and if he is a Pi with your interests at heart he will under stand. There is no need to try to go his way to please him.. You dont want to end up like me, spending a year tricking off in PhD program trying to please a PI...

 

[TriagePreMed]

You should definitely be upfront the moment that you're sure medicine is what you'll do. Yes, he will probably be a bit upset, but I also bet he'll get over it and respect you more for being upfront about it instead of dropping it on him last minute.

I've spoken to every PI that I have that my intention is to go into medicine. Not a single one has held it against me at the end of the day. In fact, my current PI (at an MD school) gave me a contract now fully knowing I want to apply to Osteopathic programs.

 

[IslandStyle808]

You should definitely be upfront the moment that you're sure medicine is what you'll do. Yes, he will probably be a bit upset, but I also bet he'll get over it and respect you more for being upfront about it instead of dropping it on him last minute.

I've spoken to every PI that I have that my intention is to go into medicine. Not a single one has held it against me at the end of the day. In fact, my current PI (at an MD school) gave me a contract now fully knowing I want to apply to Osteopathic programs.

Lucky! I had a few hold it against me when finding a lab position.

 

[BabyDoc86]

You should definitely be upfront the moment that you're sure medicine is what you'll do. Yes, he will probably be a bit upset, but I also bet he'll get over it and respect you more for being upfront about it instead of dropping it on him last minute.

I've spoken to every PI that I have that my intention is to go into medicine. Not a single one has held it against me at the end of the day. In fact, my current PI (at an MD school) gave me a contract now fully knowing I want to apply to Osteopathic programs.

This is definitely not the norm, from my experience. I interviewed for several lab positions and mentioned that I might apply to med school within a few years and couldn't land a job, with the reason being that they wanted someone to stick around for at least three years. Once I took off that part of my cover letter and CV, I had three job offers in less than two weeks.

 

[cabinbuilder]

What the heck is a PI???

 

[oms2]

pi = principal investigator/research group leader.

 

[CopToEM]

You just need to talk to the guy. You're creating an elephant in the room and obviously building up a lot of animosity.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Lucky! I had a few hold it against me when finding a lab position.

This is definitely not the norm, from my experience. I interviewed for several lab positions and mentioned that I might apply to med school within a few years and couldn't land a job, with the reason being that they wanted someone to stick around for at least three years. Once I took off that part of my cover letter and CV, I had three job offers in less than two weeks.

In all fairness, I came into both labs I worked it as part of a summer research grant. It wasn't until later that I was contracted by the lab I am in right now.