Mar 25, 2010
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Hey everyone.....this is to any current medical students. I have been in a relationship for 4 years and have been accepted to medical school. My gf is not going into medicine.

I was wondering what is the attitude of schools/students to students who bring their significant others?
How do classmates treat significant others?
Do/ how common is it for significant others to live in the dorm with the student?
Has anyone brought their gf/ bf to medical school? ....if so how did it work out?
Will I be ostracized? how will she be treated...

Really stressed/stoked about the move to medical school already, but it adds a layer of complexity when you involve two people.
 

cubssox2000

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What school are you planning on going to? Most (if not all) have some accommodations for people who have significant others. If the school has a "dorm" then you might need to request special housing. If you are going to a school where you have to find an apartment, then its all up to you.

The attitude that the school will have is probably none. Same with your classmates. A lot of people start medical school with significant others, wives, children, etc. You will not be ostracized and she will be treated like any other regular person.
 

DrYoda

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There are plenty of med students who are either married or in serious relationships. There's nothing to worry about, they are treated just fine.
 

schrizto

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I'm sure you both will be fine. It sounds as if you're bracing for discrimination of some sort because you have a SO and it shouldn't be that way.
 

Geekchick921

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I don't think you'll have any problems.

Anecdote time! One of my friends is graduating from UPitt this year. This past summer, he got married to a friend of mine and my husband's (her parents and my in-laws are very close friends, to the point where my husband and their kids refer to each other as cousins). I'm pretty sure she moved with him from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh after she graduated college (he was a year ahead of her) as they were dating since she started undergrad. I don't know if they live in a dorm or not, though. I don't think they've had any negativity towards their relationship, either.

Good luck to you.
 

quirks

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It's not a big deal to bring a significant other, though living in the dorms with her could be weird (depends on the school and whether the dorms are really dorms or more apartment like).

I know a few people in my class who live in apartments with their significant others, and no one thinks twice about it. Some of the significant others are around hanging out a lot of the time (and no one thinks its weird).
 

bioteach

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Why would it be weird? There are plenty of people in my class with spouses, children, girlfriends/boyfriends. Its a pretty normal thing.

I don't see why you'd want to live in a dorm, though. It seems like at most schools (including my own) people live in apartments and houses nearby. I couldn't imagine dorm-style living into your mid-20's.
 

jtdallas

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I am not in medical school yet, I start this August, but I am a second career/non-trad type student and I have experience in the professional world. Having said that, you need to remember that this is professional school, it is equivalent to a "real world job" (just without the pay). Despite having classmates, this experience at the end of the day, should be about what makes you the happiest and most fulfilled. Once medical school is over there is little chance that you will see or have contact with most of your classmates, so it is important to surround yourself with the people and things that will accord your success. Therefore, if your girlfriend is a big part of your life, which it sounds like she is (4 years), and she is willing to take the jump with you, then you should undoubtedly bring her along.

Just my advice. Good luck.
 

ShyRem

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1. Lots of people have SOs, husbands, wives, children, etc. move with them to medical school.

2. Your school may have a policy against your SO actually living in a school dorm with you. She's not a student there, and as such has no right to live on school property without paying for it.

3. As previously stated, most medical students live off campus in apartments or houses. No problem with SO or family moving there.

4. Medical students rarely have interaction with other student's SOs, spouses, children, etc. If they do, it's like any other interaction with an SO or family member.

5. Are you actually talking about bringing your SO with you to classes? This would be a big no-no except on rare occasions. The school could view this as "free education" and demand she apply and only if accepted be allowed to attend classes.

You have to understand, medical school is NOT like undergraduate.
 

jtdallas

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I am not in medical school yet, I start this August, but I am a second career/non-trad type student and I have experience in the professional world. Having said that, you need to remember that this is professional school, it is equivalent to a "real world job" (just without the pay). Despite having classmates, this experience at the end of the day, should be about what makes you the happiest and most fulfilled. Once medical school is over there is little chance that you will see or have contact with most of your classmates, so it is important to surround yourself with the people and things that will accord your success. Therefore, if your girlfriend is a big part of your life, which it sounds like she is (4 years), and she is willing to take the jump with you, then you should undoubtedly bring her along.

Just my advice. Good luck.
 

phantomx87

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If it's any help, I am going to bring my gf with me to med school. I will be proposing before then, but same concept. Pretty much everywhere I've been, no really gives a crap. She's been with me to every interview, and every person she's met has treated her really well. So much so that she has her own preferences on which school I should attend based on the friends she's made already!

Bottom line - I don't think you should base your decision on what others will think. If you two are happy and WANT to be together during med school, then go for it.
 
Mar 25, 2010
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thanks for the encouragment everyone... I wasnt sure how people would respond. And no i will not be kissing in the anatomy lab. Some of the schools im looking at in particular columbia.... you need to have a domestic partnership to live in the dorms with a SO. So i will have to arrange that or something like that.
I just thought it would be a little strange if she came to certain events and mingled.... Person: Hey are you an MS1
Her: Umm no....im His girlfriend...
 
Mar 25, 2010
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It's not a big deal to bring a significant other, though living in the dorms with her could be weird (depends on the school and whether the dorms are really dorms or more apartment like).

I know a few people in my class who live in apartments with their significant others, and no one thinks twice about it. Some of the significant others are around hanging out a lot of the time (and no one thinks its weird).
Yea thats why i am concerned about living on campus which would probably be less in rent than off campus. I really want to foster relationships with my classmates as well. The most ideal situation would be for her and I to live on campus and everyone know her and I. I know some of the schools require a statement of domestic partnership or something like that to move into dorms.
To tell you guys the truth im not thrilled about doing the dorm life anyway after living in my own apartment for the last 3 years.
 

plauto

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nobody will care. However, about half of the people I know who started med school being engaged have split up. I guess better now than after getting married.
 

jdh71

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I am confused by the OP
 
Mar 25, 2010
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Depressing.... but sounds a lot like marriage statistics. Thats another thing im concerned about.... time to devote to her and my studies + why do doctors get divorced at such a high frequency.... hope im not a statistic...
 

ziggyd0c

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i'm doing the same thing this fall with my boyfriend, he's not going into medicine.
 

ZagDoc

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Yea thats why i am concerned about living on campus which would probably be less in rent than off campus. I really want to foster relationships with my classmates as well. The most ideal situation would be for her and I to live on campus and everyone know her and I. I know some of the schools require a statement of domestic partnership or something like that to move into dorms.
To tell you guys the truth im not thrilled about doing the dorm life anyway after living in my own apartment for the last 3 years.
Dude, this isn't undergrad. You "foster relationships" with classmates, but generally only end up good friends with a few. Most of those relationships are professional relationships which have very little to do with whether you live on campus or not. There isn't sitting around in dorm rooms playing Halo and drinking beer. Most of your classmates you see in lecture and the library, and the occasional post-test shindig, but other than that people are too busy for much else.

Then again my perceptions may be slightly skewed as my program is heavy on non-trads. 40% of my class was married when we started.
 
Sep 22, 2009
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Does the school you are going to even have dorms? Live off campus, it will be easier and you will get more room. Plus, isn't she going to work? So rent shouldn't be that big of a problem.
 

illixir

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Unless you happen to be going to an NYC school, hardly any med students will live in on-campus housing or "dorms", at many medical schools that option isn't even offered. Even if you are in NYC, with 2 people you should get your own place. Hopefully your girlfriend will get a job and help take care of expenses.
 

ziggyd0c

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did you have any of the same apprehensions or thoughts I did?
kind of, not really though. we are both very sociable and are looking forward to hanging out with classmates that i meet (plus friends he meets at work). a lot of people worry about strain on the relationship because of time apart, but we're actually looking forward to it, we will be seeing more of each other than we do now. right now we both work jobs with odd schedules, so some days i might work 7a-2p, and he'll work 3p-11p, then the next day maybe we'll both work 10a-7p... it sucks. so if i'm in school, even if i'm gone every day from 8a-8p it will still seem like we're seeing each other a lot because we can be together every night. as long as you're both prepared i think you'll be fine.
 

Mr hawkings

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Yea thats why i am concerned about living on campus which would probably be less in rent than off campus. I really want to foster relationships with my classmates as well. The most ideal situation would be for her and I to live on campus and everyone know her and I. I know some of the schools require a statement of domestic partnership or something like that to move into dorms.
To tell you guys the truth im not thrilled about doing the dorm life anyway after living in my own apartment for the last 3 years.
DOnt worry about this. You will "foster relationships" with 5, maybe 6 people in your class in the first 2 years. Everyone else will just be aquaintances till 3rd year when you get to know whoever is in a rotation with you.
You also need to think about how SHE will recieve your classmates. Do you realize that everytime you go out with your classmates, the conversation will eventually lead back to medical stuff. Shes eventually going to feel left out when she stuck listening to you guys talk about things she has no interest in and make jokes about gross anatomy that she doesnt get. Its only a matter of time till she opts to not go out with you when you hang out with your med school friends.

Besides, you want to have a life outside of med school that does not overlap with the home life. You need a refuge away from these people that allows you to decompress and get away from medicine and school. Dont be too eager to mix the two or you'll drive yourself crazy.

BTW, i live on campus and it has not lead to me knowing my mates any more or less. In fact, i would say that i tend to hang out at other's houses/apartments way more than anyone comes to my on-campus studio.
 
Jun 1, 2009
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Hey everyone.....this is to any current medical students. I have been in a relationship for 4 years and have been accepted to medical school. My gf is not going into medicine.

I was wondering what is the attitude of schools/students to students who bring their significant others?
How do classmates treat significant others?
Do/ how common is it for significant others to live in the dorm with the student?
Has anyone brought their gf/ bf to medical school? ....if so how did it work out?
Will I be ostracized? how will she be treated...

Really stressed/stoked about the move to medical school already, but it adds a layer of complexity when you involve two people.
never bring a sandwich to a smorgasbord. :laugh:
 

The Poet Sings

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for some reason it sounded to me like the op intended to bring the gf to class every day. am i the only one that got that...?
 

umean2tellme

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Hahaha hope your SO is supportive. Even if he/she is you'll be hearing all the usual complaints soon. Hear's what I hear on a weekly basis from my girlfriend:
"Why are you at the library so late? When are you coming home?"

"Put the books down. Do you have to study all the time? What about me????"

"One day off from studying won't hurt. Can't we just go out instead?"

These complaints are even worse when the SO is making life decisions to fit around your medical degree, so be prepared :(
 
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for some reason it sounded to me like the op intended to bring the gf to class every day. am i the only one that got that...?
That's what I got as well.... OP you said you're not going to bring her every day? So are you going to some days then? Is that even legal? haha