PhD/PsyD Bringing partner to campus interview?

[calimich]

---

Members don't see this ad.

Hi all -- I'm wondering about the appropriateness of my partner joining me for campus interviews. We're not considering her joining me for any official interview functions, rather having her explore the city, perhaps walk the campus on her own, etc. Is this within faculty interview norms? The potential jobs are in new cities and the universities are flying me out and putting me up for 2 nights. Ethical to have her stay in the room on their dime? Need I inform the search committee? Better to have her visit independently?

Any thoughts/advice is welcome. From both sides of the experience would be great. thanks

 

[MCParent]

Hi all -- I'm wondering about the appropriateness of my partner joining me for campus interviews. We're not considering her joining me for any official interview functions, rather having her explore the city, perhaps walk the campus on her own, etc. Is this within faculty interview norms? The potential jobs are in new cities and the universities are flying me out and putting me up for 2 nights. Ethical to have her stay in the room on their dime? Need I inform the search committee? Better to have her visit independently?

Any thoughts/advice is welcome. From both sides of the experience would be great. thanks

It's probably more normal if you do a second visit (e.g., you get the job and then come back for their grad student interview day to see if you can take a student, or you ask for coverage in the startup for a house-hunting visit). Or you could just pay for partner's ticket yourself and not tell anyone, though that might be a bit awkward as you'll be going to dinner every night with the faculty and leaving partner alone. I think it would be gauche to ask the dept to pay for the flight for partner for an initial interview.

 

[Ollie123]

If you aren't asking them to do anything differently or pay for anything they otherwise wouldn't, I'm not sure I see any harm. I imagine most people don't do it at that stage because of the added expense and the relatively low conversion rate. If the partner is cool with basically being completely on their own (as these are usually 12 hour days), you being a basket case at night and likely wanting to ignore them while you frantically google the people you are meeting the next day, etc. than I think its fine. I do know some people who did it, but it was generally when the partner had connections in the city and wanted to go as a mini-vacation. Don't think the schools necessarily even knew.

 

[bcliff]

During my interviews, I spent a lot of time with the current students on each of the evenings after formal interview stuff was over (dinner, drinks, etc.) - It might make things a little awkward if you duck out early to spend time with your SO. If she's alright being by herself the majority of the time, then I would guess it's probably fine. My partner and I took a trip to our new town after my offer was sent out, and he was able to schedule job interviews for our follow up trip, which let us kill two birds with one stone.

 

[calimich]

Thanks for the suggestions. We were thinking more along the lines of what Ollie mentioned. She is cool doing her own thing; we've been married over 10 years, so definitely has already seen my basket case side. We're not considering asking the site to fund her travel and I can't really imagine accepting the job without her seeing the place. She's already moved one place sight unseen and although it worked out great, we agreed to avoid repeating that scenario if at all possible. I think briarcliff misunderstood, unless I have it wrong and spending social time with students is normal, I doubt I will spend much time with current students as this is a faculty interview.

A current supervisor suggests it could actually be seen in a positive light -- shows that we are seriously considering moving the family.

 

[smalltownpsych]

At my current job they paid for my spouse to come out and see the town. She even got her own tour of the hospital and the town and the head of HR took her out to lunch and then she accompanied all of us to dinner. I guess it works different in academia.

 

[CheetahGirl]

Not that you would, but whatever do you do, do not make-out with your partner if you bring him/her to interview day in the presence of others. Maybe a cute marital peck should suffice.

There is a story from my program of an excellent applicant who interviewed very well, but then got into a serious kissing session with her boyfriend just OUTSIDE (not inside) the Psychology Dept. Current graduate students saw this and mentioned it, but upon discussion, the admission committee ended up not extending an offer to this applicant....somewhere along the lines of "poor judgement" on the part of the applicant. And my program is not stuffy...pretty formal, but not at all stuffy. Programs don't want to teach you civil behavior and common sense. They want to train you as clinicians with all the civil behavior and common sense in place.

Good luck!

Edit: I did not carefully read the OP's post...I thought this was for an admission to a doctoral program not post-graduate job interview. If the latter, by all means, make out as much as you want...you know what's up and down at this point. 😉

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

If you aren't asking them to fly her in with you, I think it is perfectly fine. If later down the road (where they are confident they want to make you an offer), they may offer to have you back down with your spouse. The interview and recruitment process can vary greatly, so flexibility and willingness to woo you may be quite different place to place. I had one place take me on a tour of different residential neighborhoods around the city, show me some cool hiking trails (bc they knew I liked to hike), and offer to set me up w. a realtor, etc. They put me up in the best hotel in the city, took me out to a great steak house, and gave me a gift basket of local goods the size of my suitcase. (Private hospital, $$, and a motivated medical director). Contrast that w. an east coast program (elite R1 AMC) that crammed me in an office w. 5 faculty members for an interview and then asked if I could get lunch on my own bc the person who was supposed to take me out was sick and everyone else had clinic, etc. I almost didn't go back for the second half of the day, but thought that'd be rude and I didn't want to burn any bridges. It ended up being a nice opportunity, but I declined to move forward because it didn't fit my clinical goals as well as other places.