Broken up with BF/GF because of med school?

[coolness]

Have any of you guys/gals broken up with your BF/GF because one of you, or both of you, could not deal with the complications associated with medical school (eg lack of time)? Do you think medical school breaks up more relationships than fosters them?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[SarahGM]

Have any of you guys/gals broken up with your BF/GF because one of you, or both of you, could not deal with the complications associated with medical school (eg lack of time)? Do you think medical school breaks up more relationships than fosters them?

I'm still in my long distance relationship, but I do know of people who have broken up with their significant others already (some the first week of school!). Word on the street is that most relationships don't last longer than 3-6 months after one party begins med school.

I would think that medical school, as a general trend, hurts more than helps relationships.

 

[Ramoray]

I guess it depends on if you see a future with your gf/bf and how much you love them. I am in a LD for a year and a half now as i am halfway done my second year and even though its hard i am in love with my gf and would wait a lifetime to be with her and i am willing to do whatever it takes. However if you do not see a future with the person then its not a great idea as it is hard and difficult to grow as a couple unless you already have a stable base.

 

[katrinadams9]

I broke up with my BF of two years after only a few months of med school. We were in a long distance relationship across the state. He just didn't understand that I couldn't drive up to see him every weekend and hated the fact that when he came to visit I had to study. There were many other factors that went into my decision to leave him, but his unsupportiveness definitely added to the minus list.

Now I'm dating a guy who lives a little closer and definitely understands that this is my dream and I'll do whatever it takes to succeed. Even if it means going weeks without seeing him so I can study for exams. It definitely improves your life in med school when your significant other is more in tune with what you're going through.

 

[taehong81]

I think first few months is definitely the hardest time to have LD. But after few months, I think that both partners adjust to med schools schedule so that the relationship gets more stabilized.

 

[jennie 21]

I'm married, and an MS2. My husband's also in med school. It's not exactly the same thing of course as being BF/GF, but I don't think med school has hurt our relationship at all. We're both stressed out at times, of course, but we can handle it and it's been fine. Basically, I think if you're both mature, committed to the relationship, patient, and have your priorities in order, you'll be fine. If one or both of you isn't those things, then the relationship may be in trouble.

 

[a_student]

I'm married, and an MS2. My husband's also in med school. It's not exactly the same thing of course as being BF/GF, but I don't think med school has hurt our relationship at all. We're both stressed out at times, of course, but we can handle it and it's been fine. Basically, I think if you're both mature, committed to the relationship, patient, and have your priorities in order, you'll be fine. If one or both of you isn't those things, then the relationship may be in trouble.

i kindda agree with your statement
i broke out of a 2yr relationship cause of medschool, and have to admit that my immaturity, and school being the number one priority for me were a big part in our breakup

 

[dancinjenn]

I'm also married. My hubby works nights though so I only really get to see him on the weekends. This leaves my weekdays free for studying and the weekends are for him and I. I still manage to put in some hours on weekend mornings because our sleep schedules are off by quite a few hours. My stress level has greatly increased due to school but I have to say that he is the one stable element in my life that helps keep me together...lol, if not for him I'd already be stark raving mad.

 

[Lion-O]

I broke up with my BF of two years after only a few months of med school. We were in a long distance relationship across the state. He just didn't understand that I couldn't drive up to see him every weekend and hated the fact that when he came to visit I had to study. There were many other factors that went into my decision to leave him, but his unsupportiveness definitely added to the minus list.

Now I'm dating a guy who lives a little closer and definitely understands that this is my dream and I'll do whatever it takes to succeed. Even if it means going weeks without seeing him so I can study for exams. It definitely improves your life in med school when your significant other is more in tune with what you're going through.

How long after you broke up with your boyfriend did you start seeing this new guy? And is he in your class?

 

[leorl]

I don't think we broke up specifically because of med school. But I know my constantly not having enough time or not being able to do things spontaneously because of my need to study or work or train caused strains on the relationship. He wasn't a student and he was just working so he'd be done from work and want to hang out all the time, and I kept having to tell him "I need to study." "I have to go the gym." "I don't want to stay out tonight, I have to get up really early tomorrow." etc. I think he got annoyed.

 

[phoenixsupra]

I'm also married. My hubby works nights though so I only really get to see him on the weekends. This leaves my weekdays free for studying and the weekends are for him and I. I still manage to put in some hours on weekend mornings because our sleep schedules are off by quite a few hours. My stress level has greatly increased due to school but I have to say that he is the one stable element in my life that helps keep me together...lol, if not for him I'd already be stark raving mad.

Hey dancinjenn I like this avatar a lot more than the last one. MUCH sexier

About the topic. I think I'd have found medschool much harder without a solid relationship. But then again ours wasn't long distance.

 

[katrinadams9]

How long after you broke up with your boyfriend did you start seeing this new guy? And is he in your class?

Honestly, only about a week. But the breakup lasted a while. My ex just didn't want to accept the fact that I couldn't see a future with him, so I probably broke up with him for about 2-3 weeks.

The new guy is actually my old high school boyfriend. Part of the reason I broke up with my BF was because I realized I still had feelings for him. He's not in my class, he's actually got nothing to do with medicine at all (computer science and real estate entreprenuer). It's great having someone to talk to who isn't going to want to discuss medicine all the time. I don't know how people in our class can do that... I'd go nuts if I was dating another med student!

 

[dancinjenn]

Hey dancinjenn I like this avatar a lot more than the last one. MUCH sexier

About the topic. I think I'd have found medschool much harder without a solid relationship. But then again ours wasn't long distance.

Thanks, It is a classic cheesecake by Edward D'Ancona from sometime between 1930-50, it is called Fascinating. It is actually a full-length but I had to cut it down to reach the appropriate size for avatars. I like classic cheesecake pin-up girls, as art, they are voluptous and sexy without being crude and have an air of innocence in even the most provacative of poses.
www.thepinupgirls.com has quite a variable collection.

 

[Dr.Evil1]

I am a MS4 and have broken up with 2 long term gfs during medical school. The first was actually right before med school began and I knew that she wanted to get married and that wasn't something I wanted to do going into medical school. The second I dated during most of 1st year somewhat long distance and broke up with during the summer between 1st and 2nd year. I would say that med school had alot to do with my breakups with both of them. It is hard for most to accept that they are sort of a number 2 in your list of day-to-day priorities. Second most don't understand why you are studying so much. When it comes to 3rd year rotations most don't understand the day to day stresses that come with taking care of patients.

Good news though..during my 3rd year I started dating a wonderful woman who happened to be a 3rd year dental student. We completely get each others lives and can relate our day to day experiences. She know that call months are tough and we can both spend some social time toghether studying.

Overall I believe most med school breakups are due to one party not understanding what the other party is going through. If you have a strong bond with partner who knows what they are getting into then medical school shouldn't be too big a problem for your relationship.

As far as forging relationships goes you have to realize that an ex in your medical school class will ALWAYS be around. That being said you medical school is a great place to meet like minded people and develop friendships...where it goes from there is up to you.

 

[katrinadams9]

Overall I believe most med school breakups are due to one party not understanding what the other party is going through. If you have a strong bond with partner who knows what they are getting into then medical school shouldn't be too big a problem for your relationship.

As far as forging relationships goes you have to realize that an ex in your medical school class will ALWAYS be around. That being said you medical school is a great place to meet like minded people and develop friendships...where it goes from there is up to you.

I totally agree. I dated a guy in undergrad who was in all of my classes and it was really hard to see him around when we broke up. Thank God he didn't come to med school!

 

[cluelesspremed]

I totally agree. I dated a guy in undergrad who was in all of my classes and it was really hard to see him around when we broke up. Thank God he didn't come to med school!

hey guys...

im actually an incoming first yr next yr and me and my gf are already having problems cus we're thinking about what'll happen next year. she's gonna go to grad school herself out of state and we're thinking we should start seeing other ppl now because its our sr year and we dont want to have to already be so sad thinking about it...its been 2 yrs..

any thoughts?

 

[a_student]

hey guys...

im actually an incoming first yr next yr and me and my gf are already having problems cus we're thinking about what'll happen next year. she's gonna go to grad school herself out of state and we're thinking we should start seeing other ppl now because its our sr year and we dont want to have to already be so sad thinking about it...its been 2 yrs..

any thoughts?

sounds like your gettin dumped my man
on the bright side you'll be so busy in medschool you'll be glad your single

who needs girls anyways

 

[a_student]

Honestly, only about a week. But the breakup lasted a while. My ex just didn't want to accept the fact that I couldn't see a future with him, so I probably broke up with him for about 2-3 weeks.

The new guy is actually my old high school boyfriend. Part of the reason I broke up with my BF was because I realized I still had feelings for him. He's not in my class, he's actually got nothing to do with medicine at all (computer science and real estate entreprenuer). It's great having someone to talk to who isn't going to want to discuss medicine all the time. I don't know how people in our class can do that... I'd go nuts if I was dating another med student!

damn girl you move fast!

 

[Blake]

damn girl you move fast!

 

[katrinadams9]

damn girl you move fast!

In this case, maybe. In the past I've spent months to years in between relationships. It really depends on how hard the breakup is. I knew my ex was all wrong for me for a long time. I think I was just waiting for something better to come along. When it did, I jumped up and grabbed it before it got away.

 

[a_student]

In this case, maybe. In the past I've spent months to years in between relationships. It really depends on how hard the breakup is. I knew my ex was all wrong for me for a long time. I think I was just waiting for something better to come along. When it did, I jumped up and grabbed it before it got away.

typical girl,

how come most girls are so insecure that they have to know there's a backup before they ditch a relationship?

 

[dancinjenn]

typical girl,

how come most girls are so insecure that they have to know there's a backup before they ditch a relationship?

Katrina, just ignore the troll....to my way of thinking if he was available...more power to ya!!!

 

[a_student]

Katrina, just ignore the troll....to my way of thinking if he was available...more power to ya!!!

call me whatever u want, still doesn't mean girls aren't insecure

 

[tkdchica]

To cluelessmedstudent,
It depends on you and her. I'm in a long distance relationship and my first semester of medical school has definitely come very very close to ending the relationship. I find that you need a lot more attention and stroking (ok, so I need a lot more attention) and that schedules don't mesh. But we love each other and can deal when the other one is an evil medusa like creature (test block anyone?) I don't think anyone can definitively say breakup or don't, just make sure you're on the same page. It won't be like you expect it to be (am I the only one who feels this way?) but it can definitely work.
If I don't make sense it's because I'm still recovering from the beast that was our anatomy exam today. But as of today I am FREE of anatomy (at least until next year with boards)

 

[crossurfingers]

Nm

 

[cluelesspremed]

To cluelessmedstudent,
It depends on you and her. I'm in a long distance relationship and my first semester of medical school has definitely come very very close to ending the relationship. I find that you need a lot more attention and stroking (ok, so I need a lot more attention) and that schedules don't mesh. But we love each other and can deal when the other one is an evil medusa like creature (test block anyone?) I don't think anyone can definitively say breakup or don't, just make sure you're on the same page. It won't be like you expect it to be (am I the only one who feels this way?) but it can definitely work.
If I don't make sense it's because I'm still recovering from the beast that was our anatomy exam today. But as of today I am FREE of anatomy (at least until next year with boards)

Thanks for the advise tkd...
its so hard to choose...profession vs. girl...well, i guess it sounds ******ed even sayin that, but if you've been in a really long term relationship its easier to see how deciding between the two, if need be, is hard..

thanks guys

 

[jennie 21]

typical girl,

how come most girls are so insecure that they have to know there's a backup before they ditch a relationship?

That's hardly unique to girls. Many guys are like that too.

 

[dara678]

I guess it depends on if you see a future with your gf/bf and how much you love them. I am in a LD for a year and a half now as i am halfway done my second year and even though its hard i am in love with my gf and would wait a lifetime to be with her and i am willing to do whatever it takes. However if you do not see a future with the person then its not a great idea as it is hard and difficult to grow as a couple unless you already have a stable base.

That's so incredibly cute ...

My bf of three years and I have been LD-ing for four months now, and i think it's working out fine. I think it helps if both sides know that they absolutely have to make time for each other somehow -- even if it's only a five minute phone call to see how the other person is doing. It shows commitment to keeping up the relationship, and encourages both sides to have the heart to continue going.

 

[blz]

typical girl,

how come most girls are so insecure that they have to know there's a backup before they ditch a relationship?

I agree with a_student. This is why you always dump a girl before she can employ her b!tch tactics.

 

[azzarah]

My bf and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. Not because of med school per se, but I think high levels of stress played a big role in that decision. We had been going out for over two years. One year was long-distance. I am so sad that we broke up, but I guess if it's not meant to be, there is nothing I can do about it.