Buying dinner for your interviewer?

[Hemichordate]

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[nVictus]

how would it be improper? i think it would be a good idea to offer, at the least.

 

[Diksha]

Would this even happen? Interviews usually take place at the school. There's, like, a whole day planned with tours and fireworks!

Ixnay on the fireworks.

 

[HumidBeing]

Would this even happen? Interviews usually take place at the school. There's, like, a whole day planned with tours and fireworks!

Ixnay on the fireworks.

A few places have a local interviewer meet with you first when that is possible.

 

[Hemichordate]

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[spicedmanna]

Hard to say, theoretically. I'd have to feel it out and see the appropriateness of it as I'm experiencing it. I'm guessing that most interviewers are school sponsored and thus have a spending account for such things and the expectation is that the school is going to cover it for the both you, but this may not be the case for your situation. Again, I'd have to assess the actual situation.

Since this has never happened to me, I can only draw a link to my work interviews. I don't believe I ever paid for any of my interviewer's lunches, etc. It's usually the other way around.

 

[EpiPEN]

I don't think you should offer to pay. It seems unprofessional and improper.

I've had interviewers take me to the cafe to get coffee and snacks to eat while we talk and I never had to pay a dime. It's unlikely that dinner or lunch will be involved because interview time slots are usually set away from those time periods becuase no one wants to work on lunch break or after work. And honestly, they make way more money than you as a doctor, so why would you have to offer to pay?

 

[StarStup]

I think it would be polite to offer even though you will most likely be turned down...it's like going on a date....you always (at least I do) offer to pay the bill and will always get turned down by the guy...even though this isn't really the same thing...it is just polite to offer...I don't think it would be inappropriate or it would hurt.
Or...here are a few tricks...if you are at a sit down restaurant...when you know the bill is about to come excuse yourself to the restroom, that way when you come back the bill will be taken care of and it won't be akward. Or if you are at a coffee shop or somewhere stand behind your interviewer in line...and if they don't want to pay for your coffee then they won't but if they are paying then they will say something like "what are you having?" It's all about avoiding that akwardness! 😀

 

[brsboarder]

I wouldn't bother asking. Its certainly inappropriate at the least if they accept. Its an interview. you're there to impress the person with who you are, not by having an extra $15

BTW. I've had an interview at a coffee shop

 

[BrnEyes]

I do not understand what all the fuss is about. What difference does it make that the interviewer is much older? It is a show of respect to offer to pay the bill.

I think it is more important what your intention is. If you actually think that by paying for someone's meal you're going to secure a spot that you otherwise are not qualified for, you'll probably come off that way. But if you are just trying to be polite, your offer to pay the bill will most likely fall in line with the humility you have displayed in your application and throughout the interview.

Honestly, just be yourself. If you're not the type of person who would do something like that (pay the bill for an older, less familiar person) anyway, then now may not be the best time to start.

In agreement with some above me, at least make the offer...you can't go wrong if you're genuine about it.

...Its an interview. you're there to impress the person with who you are, not by having an extra $15...

Isn't being polite part of "who you are" if, in fact, you are a polite and respectful person?

 

[135892]

I think it would be polite to offer even though you will most likely be turned down...it's like going on a date....you always (at least I do) offer to pay the bill and will always get turned down by the guy...even though this isn't really the same thing...it is just polite to offer...I don't think it would be inappropriate or it would hurt.
Or...here are a few tricks...if you are at a sit down restaurant...when you know the bill is about to come excuse yourself to the restroom, that way when you come back the bill will be taken care of and it won't be akward. Or if you are at a coffee shop or somewhere stand behind your interviewer in line...and if they don't want to pay for your coffee then they won't but if they are paying then they will say something like "what are you having?" It's all about avoiding that akwardness! 😀

, leaving the table when the bill comes... classic

 

[EpiPEN]

I do not understand what all the fuss is about. What difference does it make that the interviewer is much older? It is a show of respect to offer to pay the bill.

What is this a Japanese business dinner? 😀

 

[lol.psych]

Offer, be prepared to pay, but know that your offer will probably be denied/rejected. Also, try meeting in a low-key place like a coffee shop, where you can both pay for your own

 

[BrnEyes]

What is this a Japanese business dinner? 😀

Is that what comes to mind when you think of being respectful at a dinner? While your comment is humorous, it is also somewhat disheartening. Have you ever been to a Japanese business dinner? I haven't. Please enlighten me 🙂

 

[TigerSoup]

Typically there are rules against this. I do interviews for my undergrad, and we're not allowed to pay for our interviewees or have anything paid for by them (though there's some special exception for recruited athletes). If anyone does pay, it's gotta be the interviewer/school since they give you so much free stuff anyway during the interview day, there's certainly some kind of budget allocated out to interviewee wooing. At the NIH, the only situation where the lab can pick up the tab for our meal is if we're going out to try to woo someone to join our ranks or if we're entertaining a guest speaker.

Just to be safe, I'd make sure to bring money, not order anything ridiculously expensive (ie take advantage of a potential free meal), and pull out your wallet as the check comes so your interviewer can either say "Oh no this one's on me", pull out his/her own wallet to pay his/her part, or sit there silently while you pick up the tab.

 

[Myuu]

What is this a Japanese business dinner? 😀

Only if the interviewer gets the seat by the door!👍


...and, you know, one of you is Japanese.


Edit for those not familiar with Japanese seating arrangements: Contrary to the Western view of the "head of the table," in Japan, the seat closest to the door is the best seat.

 

[decafplease]

Just to be safe, I'd make sure to bring money, not order anything ridiculously expensive (ie take advantage of a potential free meal), and pull out your wallet as the check comes so your interviewer can either say "Oh no this one's on me", pull out his/her own wallet to pay his/her part, or sit there silently while you pick up the tab.

This is what I always do when eating with someone else.

I personally think it's polite to offer to pay. If they decline, don't fight them on it, then offer to go Dutch. Again, if they decline, allow them to pay. It doesn't need to be awkward or become an argument. Just go with the flow and be gracious

 

[EpiPEN]

Is that what comes to mind when you think of being respectful at a dinner? While your comment is humorous, it is also somewhat disheartening. Have you ever been to a Japanese business dinner? I haven't. Please enlighten me 🙂

When you go eat with your superiors, the youngest or the person who is ranked the lowest in the company is supposed to offer to pay for the meal as well as order food.

Haven't actually attended a full suit dinner w/ the Japanese, but this is what my Japanese friend(s) tell me.

 

[EpiPEN]

Only if the interviewer gets the seat by the door!👍


...and, you know, one of you is Japanese.


Edit for those not familiar with Japanese seating arrangements: Contrary to the Western view of the "head of the table," in Japan, the seat closest to the door is the best seat.

Makes sense to me, the best seat is also the fastest out of the door when the bill comes.🙂

 

[Revilla]

It's unprofessional. You shouldn't offer to pick up the check for your med school interviewer any more than you should offer to pick up the check during a job interview. Just go with the flow and pull out your wallet to pay for your own meal. Chances are, if you're not going dutch, the meal is on the school, not on either one of you.

 

[Law2Doc]

It's unprofessional. You shouldn't offer to pick up the check for your med school interviewer any more than you should offer to pick up the check during a job interview. Just go with the flow and pull out your wallet to pay for your own meal. Chances are, if you're not going dutch, the meal is on the school, not on either one of you.

Exactly. You reach for your wallet to cover your own meal. You aren't expected to pay for the interviewer and it's unethical for them to accept. It would be a bribe, and a petty one at that. They may grab the bill and not let you pay, but in that case, it's likely they are going to get some reimbursement from the school -- at any rate, you are allowed to assume that.

 

[Myuu]

Makes sense to me, the best seat is also the fastest out of the door when the bill comes.🙂

Hahaha. More of an in-the-event-of-an-emergency thing. I'm sure you've noticed seating in cars goes like that too, only with the seat behind the driver.

 

[Narmerguy]

OP, it's not a big deal. Just politely indicate that you'd like to pay the check (ex: "If you don't mind, I'd like to pay for the check") and let whatever response you're given pass quickly. Honestly? You already paid for his/her meal with all that money you burned on the application already 😉

Exactly. You reach for your wallet to cover your own meal. You aren't expected to pay for the interviewer and it's unethical for them to accept. It would be a bribe, and a petty one at that. They may grab the bill and not let you pay, but in that case, it's likely they are going to get some reimbursement from the school -- at any rate, you are allowed to assume that.

It's only a bribe if there is an indication that some form of compensation is to be given in return for the meal which is obviously not the case. Of course you're not expected to pay for the interviewer but there's no harm in showing a polite gesture. It only becomes an issue when people overdue the gesture and make a scene about it.

 

[MedStudentWanna]

For the same reason you don't buy your teachers gifts when you're enrolled in their classes, you don't offer to pay for your interviewer's meal. Most of you people have never been out beyond the confines of a college campus, have you? It's inappropriate and will reflect poorly on you.

 

[LadyWolverine]

I find it odd that the OP has been put in this position in the first place. Surely the admissions committee would anticipate/prevent this dilemma?

 

[WWXstand]

It just seems unneccessary and even desperate, but to each their own. Consider that you've already 'paid' for your chance to interview with the secondary fee, which in my opinion is already somewhat outrageously expensive...

 

[HoboCommander]

you should be nice to your interviewer. buy her stuff and invite her to your hotel room.

 

[Narmerguy]

For the same reason you don't buy your teachers gifts when you're enrolled in their classes, you don't offer to pay for your interviewer's meal. Most of you people have never been out beyond the confines of a college campus, have you? It's inappropriate and will reflect poorly on you.

Many students give their teachers gifts (a gift card to a meal at a restaurant, some chocolate, whatever) after they write them LORs. Heck some people give their bus drivers stuff in middle school 😛 No one will look upon a meal as some extravagant burden of a gift so long as you keep it simple and keep from making some magnanimous scene.

 

[MonkeyNuts!]

When your meal is finished, and the waiter comes around and asks if you want the bill, just smile and tell him no. Scribble gibberish onto your checkbook, rip the check out, fold it, and tuck it into the chest pocket of the waiter and proudly announce: "I am buying this restaurant." Then quickly leave with your interviewer before they call the police.

Classy.

 

[cbrons]

I think it would be polite to offer even though you will most likely be turned down...it's like going on a date....you always (at least I do) offer to pay the bill and will always get turned down by the guy...even though this isn't really the same thing...it is just polite to offer...I don't think it would be inappropriate or it would hurt.
Or...here are a few tricks...if you are at a sit down restaurant...when you know the bill is about to come excuse yourself to the restroom, that way when you come back the bill will be taken care of and it won't be akward. Or if you are at a coffee shop or somewhere stand behind your interviewer in line...and if they don't want to pay for your coffee then they won't but if they are paying then they will say something like "what are you having?" It's all about avoiding that akwardness! 😀

sure itd be inappropriate, especially for a girl to offer to pay. it defies social convention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRRGRRR!!!!!!!

but seriously, don't offer to pay. It conveys neediness. Instead pound your chest and not only demand they pay for you but demand they give you a foot massage.

 

[cbrons]

But in real seriousness, it would show a lack of social intelligence for a young poor college kid to pay for a much older interviewer who likely makes a lot more money. It seems to me like it would show a failure to recognize the subtext in some weird way.

 

[bcat85]

I actually had this happen at an interview. I offered to pay, but the interviewer picked up the tab. It wasn't a big deal at all.

 

[Revilla]

Many students give their teachers gifts (a gift card to a meal at a restaurant, some chocolate, whatever) after they write them LORs. Heck some people give their bus drivers stuff in middle school 😛 No one will look upon a meal as some extravagant burden of a gift so long as you keep it simple and keep from making some magnanimous scene.

When the teacher writes an LOR, it's usually when that teacher is a former teacher. So yes, once you get in, if you want to buy your interviewer something, that would be fine. But paying the bill when the interviewer is interviewing you is as inappropriate as randomly buying your Orgo professor a gift card to Starbucks before he grades your midterm exam.

 

[Hemichordate]

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[EpiPEN]

Well in any case, if you pay, he/she better put out

 

[njbmd]

If you and your interviewer decide to conduct the interview at a restaurant or cafe (just for convenience), then is it considered improper for you to offer to buy dinner for your interviewer or offer to pay their bill?

The question would be, who asked for the interview to be conducted at the restaurant? If it was for your convenience, then you should make the offer. If it was your interviewer, then they should cover expenses. This should be settled before the interview and not after. Good luck!