Can someone correct my grammar

[Kobebucsfan]

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".This is going to be my second time applying to dental school and my passion of becoming a dentist has remained as strong as ever."

Is this correct ?

me no good in english
.

 

[molar3]

".This is going to be my second time applying to dental school and my passion of becoming a dentist has remained as strong as ever."

Is this correct ?

me no good in english
.

is that a direct quote from your PS? imo you should write, as a reapplicant, not 'this is going to be my second time' and im not sure that sentence is worded in the best way possible..

 

[predentlove]

hmm.. maybe "this will be my second time..."

you can also show them that your passion grew during that time instead of remaining the same.

 

[yellowishbluish]

i don't think there's anything technically wrong with it

but i'd put everything into present tense

like this is my 2nd time, and my passion remains super strong

 

[komondor]

"This is going to be my second time applying to dental school and my passion of becoming a dentist for dentistry has remaineds as strong as ever"

or

"Although I am a reapplicant, my passion for dentistry remans as strong as ever."

 

[diasIItema]

".This is going to be my second time applying to dental school and my passion of becoming a dentist has remained as strong as ever."

It would be better to say "for becoming a dentist" rather than "of becoming a dentist."

It's not the best sentence, however. I would have written something like, "This is my second application to dental school, and my dedication to the field and aspirations of becoming a dentist have not wavered/waned/etc."

Something to that extent. You need to use less colloquial jargon ("strong as ever"). Try and sound educated, ya know? Also, your statement should be in the present tense, meaning this IS your second time applying, not "this is going to be."

Good luck!

 

[zackc19]

"This is my second time applying to dental school and my passion for becoming a dentist is as strong as ever."

I even prefer this one:

"As a re-applicant, my desire to become a dentist is as strong as ever."

Or if you want to really emphasize that DESPITE it being your second time you are STILL passionate you could say:

"Though this is my second time applying, I am still very passionate about becoming a dentist"

Just some ideas, do what you want with them...