cancelling a second visit?

[Hurricane]

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I sent an email to a PD a couple days ago to set up a second visit, to try and figure out which of three programs will be my #1. So far things are in the process of being planned - no itinerary yet. But now my husband tells me he really doesn't want to live there, and the more I think about it, I agree with him, and other things about the program are causing me to have doubts. So I think I should cancel the visit, esp since things haven't really been finalized yet. and it will allow us to have more time at the other 2 programs on our second-visit road trip. Any advice on the most polite way to do so?

 

[DRDARIA]

I sent an email to a PD a couple days ago to set up a second visit, to try and figure out which of three programs will be my #1. So far things are in the process of being planned - no itinerary yet. But now my husband tells me he really doesn't want to live there, and the more I think about it, I agree with him, and other things about the program are causing me to have doubts. So I think I should cancel the visit, esp since things haven't really been finalized yet. and it will allow us to have more time at the other 2 programs on our second-visit road trip. Any advice on the most polite way to do so?

I need clarification. Are you absolutely decided that you will not rank this program? I would think if you still have any intention of putting them in your top 3, you might think twice about cancelling, because while I don't think it's necessary to do second looks, or call or email PDs, or whatever, cancelling is telling them pretty clearly that you don't intend to rank them (or not very highly). They might still rank you, I don't know, but I would think it would be a major red flag to them. Of course, if you're quite confident you'll get #1 or #2, then it won't matter. That is just my immediate gut reaction to your question, but I have no real info, so take it for what it's worth 🙄

 

[Poety]

I sent an email to a PD a couple days ago to set up a second visit, to try and figure out which of three programs will be my #1. So far things are in the process of being planned - no itinerary yet. But now my husband tells me he really doesn't want to live there, and the more I think about it, I agree with him, and other things about the program are causing me to have doubts. So I think I should cancel the visit, esp since things haven't really been finalized yet. and it will allow us to have more time at the other 2 programs on our second-visit road trip. Any advice on the most polite way to do so?

I'm all for making up some story, like I can't make it since I have a previous engagement I forgot about, or that you couldn't find air fare that would work for you for those dates, or that you can't get excused from your clerkship. That way you don't have to go but you can still save face if you intend on ranking them highly. If you don't plan on ranking them high at all (and I know you have excellent stats) then I say tell them even less like you just won't be able to make that date and leave it at that.

 

[penguins]

I had done something similar... while no definite plans had been made yet, I scheduled a certain week for a 2nd look. Then I got another interview offer so I emailed the coordinator and said something like...
"while this does not reflect an interest level change at all, I will be unable to make it for the second visit I had planned due to scheduling conflicts I had not anticipated....I had looked forward to the chance to spend more time at your program"
Still matched there.

 

[Hurricane]

I had done something similar... while no definite plans had been made yet, I scheduled a certain week for a 2nd look. Then I got another interview offer so I emailed the coordinator and said something like...
"while this does not reflect an interest level change at all, I will be unable to make it for the second visit I had planned due to scheduling conflicts I had not anticipated....I had looked forward to the chance to spend more time at your program"
Still matched there.

ooo, that's good. I think I'll say something along those lines. Thanks!

DRDARIA, yes I still intend to rank them. I had three programs tied for my #1, and the purpose of this visit was to sort it all out. But now I've decided that this program won't be my #1, the visit isn't necessary. And I'm pretty confident that I'll get my #1 or #2. Plus, we were going to try and see all three on a single road trip, which would have been gruelling. This gives us more time to see the other 2 programs.