Can't win...

[HopelessMS]

Relatives kept asking when graduation was going to be. Was reluctant to tell them or to invite them as I received little to no support about decision to attend medschool in the first place. As Match approaches, they have pressured me to rank home program to stay "home" against my desire to start new somewhere else.

After relenting, I invited them and they said they would attend my graduation. I started feeling excited to have relatives in attendance to see me walk. Now they can't attend as they decided to go on vacation and will not be in town for graduation.

Sigh. I've traveled my medicine journey pretty much alone thus far, and it will continue to be that way...

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[deleted1139416]

Everything has a positive side to it. If I were in your situation, I would see this as a good thing because now I can create my rank list however I want without caring about my relatives. If they can’t come to my graduation (especially because they want to go on vacation) then they have no say in my rank list. Simple as that.

 

[Med Ed]

Oh, you can still win. Just match as far away from them as possible and then cut them out of your life completely.

 

[Neopolymath]

Based on your other thread you need to match on the other end of the country anyways. This just reinforces it further.

 

[Kierkegaard's Bud]

Relatives kept asking when graduation was going to be. Was reluctant to tell them or to invite them as I received little to no support about decision to attend medschool in the first place. As Match approaches, they have pressured me to rank home program to stay "home" against my desire to start new somewhere else.

After relenting, I invited them and they said they would attend my graduation. I started feeling excited to have relatives in attendance to see me walk. Now they can't attend as they decided to go on vacation and will not be in town for graduation.

Sigh. I've traveled my medicine journey pretty much alone thus far, and it will continue to be that way...

No support...decides to leave for vacation on graduation day; this checks out! Early congrats on the big day coming up.

Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us. KG

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Can you do change your list? I don't know why their input is so important to you when clearly it is not reciprocated.

 

[HopelessMS]

I am not taking into consideration their inputs on my ROL.

 

[wholeheartedly]

I am not taking into consideration their inputs on my ROL.

This is smart. it’s hard and really sucks when family isn’t supportive but do what’s best for you and your well being and things will usually workout. sometimes our best “family” are the “family” we choose and build from our friends.

 

[EthylMethylMan]

Sounds pretty crappy of them, sorry you're going through this. Generally proximity to family is useful for two things: spending time with them, and getting free child care from grandparents. Assuming they're not gonna be watching any kids you may or may not have, it doesn't sound like there's a reason to bend over backwards to be physically close to them. Not saying cut them out of your life or anything, but if they can't postpone a trip to see the biggest day of your academic and professional life so far, then why should you tailor your professional life around their wants? Change your rank list if it's not too late. I'd also recommend trying to talk to them about how hurtful this decision was to you.

 

[DarkBluMage]

Have you ever told them how you feel about their support in regards to this journey? Might want to do that. Some people are oblivious and them not showing up is super hurtful. At least get it off your chest and talk to them about it. Give them an opportunity to be more supportive going forward even if you change your rank list to what you actually want.

 

[HopelessMS]

They are not immediate family and are retired. Unfortunately telling them about how I feel about their decision to go on vacation after they pursued an invitation wouldn't go well as it will be turned around on me and I will be called selfish. That's my kind of family dynamics. I think it's best to just stay silent and hopefully match very far away.

I do have one person attending my walk, an ex professor who will be flying in from out of state. They have been my rock during this journey and for that I am truly grateful to them for.

 

[FutureInternist]

Relatives kept asking when graduation was going to be. Was reluctant to tell them or to invite them as I received little to no support about decision to attend medschool in the first place. As Match approaches, they have pressured me to rank home program to stay "home" against my desire to start new somewhere else.

After relenting, I invited them and they said they would attend my graduation. I started feeling excited to have relatives in attendance to see me walk. Now they can't attend as they decided to go on vacation and will not be in town for graduation.

Sigh. I've traveled my medicine journey pretty much alone thus far, and it will continue to be that way...

Has rank list been submitted?
If not, tell them you are ranking home program # 1, but don’t.
How will they know?

 

[LunaOri]

Relatives kept asking when graduation was going to be. Was reluctant to tell them or to invite them as I received little to no support about decision to attend medschool in the first place. As Match approaches, they have pressured me to rank home program to stay "home" against my desire to start new somewhere else.

After relenting, I invited them and they said they would attend my graduation. I started feeling excited to have relatives in attendance to see me walk. Now they can't attend as they decided to go on vacation and will not be in town for graduation.

Sigh. I've traveled my medicine journey pretty much alone thus far, and it will continue to be that way...

We are with you! Best of luck!

 

[HopelessMS]

ROL submitted without any input from relatives.

 

[Goro]

I know from hard experience that family is who you make it with, ansmd merely sharing genes with people doesn't make them family.

You'll find family in the next phase and adventure of your life. Trust me.

And good luck!!!

 

[deleted1139416]

I know from hard experience that family is who you make it with, ansmd merely sharing genes with people doesn't make them family.

You'll find family in the next phase and adventure of your life. Trust me.

And good luck!!!

Love this Goro! That's the kind of support we need on here

 

[Lost in Translation]

Has rank list been submitted?
If not, tell them you are ranking home program # 1, but don’t.
How will they know?

This. Even if your “family” was close with the PD at your school, the PD would never tell them where they ranked you. So you can just say you ranked your home program #1 but obviously didn’t get it.

 

[LunaOri]

Hope you match at a wonderful program, not too close to family!