I am a non-traditional female student starting medical school.. I am 27 years old and will be 31 when I graduate. I'm curious, what are some of the challenges non-traditional students face during medical school? Figuring out when to start a family is a major one for me...Thoughts on this and perhaps other challenges?
Challenges of a non-traditional student
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My female colleagues who wanted to start a family during med school made it happen. We had three gals have a baby at varying points during school. Two took an extra year to finish, and another had hers at the end of MS4 and graduated on time. There is no “ideal time” in medicine. My only advice is to be honest with your values, weigh the possibility of having to take some extra time off, and act accordingly. All three colleagues were satisfied with they way they managed their decisions, but any decision will require sacrifice in some capacity. Good luck
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My biggest challenge has been balancing partner time with study/work time. It's compounded by the financial restrictions of being a student. I'm not particularly good at shutting off study mode so it's been a thing. We're also trying to plan a wedding and have had the children talk, but since those are the future, they are less of a stressor. In fact, those are actually kind of an outlet since it allows us to see the bigger picture together.
But from what I've heard outside of my own situation, partner time balance is always a big one. It's hard to verbalize the toll this thing takes. Balancing everything is a constant battle of looking within and recognizing what the priorities are. Truth is that the priorities constantly shift. There is certainly a set hierarchy (partner/family>school>other things), but that changes constantly. During crunch time, I tell my partner/family to expect me not to be available. During the stressful times, I tell myself that studying isn't as important to getting some zen time. There are times when it's very difficult to find the reference point.
I realize that this is probably not all non-traditional specific, but I think the degree to which partner commitment plays a part is different that other cases. I'm certain that my fellow classmates don't have the experience of having a partner who is in the prime of their career and wants to enjoy the life that has been earned. Meanwhile, I love what I do, but it's a regression in certain ways.
I hope this helped.
But from what I've heard outside of my own situation, partner time balance is always a big one. It's hard to verbalize the toll this thing takes. Balancing everything is a constant battle of looking within and recognizing what the priorities are. Truth is that the priorities constantly shift. There is certainly a set hierarchy (partner/family>school>other things), but that changes constantly. During crunch time, I tell my partner/family to expect me not to be available. During the stressful times, I tell myself that studying isn't as important to getting some zen time. There are times when it's very difficult to find the reference point.
I realize that this is probably not all non-traditional specific, but I think the degree to which partner commitment plays a part is different that other cases. I'm certain that my fellow classmates don't have the experience of having a partner who is in the prime of their career and wants to enjoy the life that has been earned. Meanwhile, I love what I do, but it's a regression in certain ways.
I hope this helped.
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There's no good time to have goods until you're Professor Emeritus. So you might as well have them early. I've had plenty of students become brand new parents in med school. Worse case scenario, you take an LOA.
Being able to relate to your younger peers seems to be the most challenging thing.
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Agree with @Goro , wise as always. We have a fairly large number of non traditional students, and relating to younger classmates is a very common issue, for both. I have heard complaints from both groups about each other, the older being too Bossy and the younger as lacking life experience
Also, finding time for partner and children is a balancing act. However, the students seem to handle it with grace. Haven't heard of any divorces. My wife had our first child during her Chief Resident year, and the other as a junior staff. Took 6 weeks off for both. It certainly is challenging, but quite doable with a good and understanding partner
Also, finding time for partner and children is a balancing act. However, the students seem to handle it with grace. Haven't heard of any divorces. My wife had our first child during her Chief Resident year, and the other as a junior staff. Took 6 weeks off for both. It certainly is challenging, but quite doable with a good and understanding partner
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It is doable. Communication is key, particularly about finances. Be open and honest with your significant other. We had kids prior to starting medical school, and they only kept getting older and busier. We also had completely unrelated careers prior to me starting. My wife kept working, and I worked as much as I could. Third year was challenging, but I was able to work the other three years pretty regularly and spend plenty of time doing family stuff.
Remember, have a life outside of Medicine. It’s not worth being a physician, or any professional for that matter, if you destroy yourself and your relationships along the way. Take time to study, take time for yourself, and take time for your family.
Remember, have a life outside of Medicine. It’s not worth being a physician, or any professional for that matter, if you destroy yourself and your relationships along the way. Take time to study, take time for yourself, and take time for your family.
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I will also be 31 when I graduate and I am 2 years married. Family planning is the biggest thing for me as well. After making it through my first year of medical school, I know that as a woman, I can't foresee myself being able to juggle being pregnant/having a newborn while in medical school. God bless those who have done it. Its not that I don't think its doable, its just that after a day of studying, I really value my time being able to kick back and relax with Netflix or hang out and go out to dinner with my husband. I don't mind waiting until we're a little more financially stable and I'm in the working world rather than the school world. I've worked so hard to get here, I want to make sure I have that MD before I take on life's next big challenge. I am planning for 2nd year of residency but, If things don't go according to plan - then thats ok too, I will adjust. I would wait until you get through first semester and see if you think that you could personally handle it.
Other challenges
Being slightly older and married, I feel that I am not getting as close to my classmates since they spend a lot of time together on weekends that I choose to spend with my husband. I have friends but, I definitely feel more distant than others.
Feel free to PM me if you have other non trad things you wanna talk about
Other challenges
Being slightly older and married, I feel that I am not getting as close to my classmates since they spend a lot of time together on weekends that I choose to spend with my husband. I have friends but, I definitely feel more distant than others.
Feel free to PM me if you have other non trad things you wanna talk about
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There was a thread for Non-Trad ladies a while back - we started a Facebook group out of it where people will chat and ask for advice. Feel free to PM me (anyone) if you want the link.
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My initial thoughts:
1. Balancing your personal commitments with your medical school commitments.
How do you plan to balance your personal time and family time with your medical school commitments and study time? It is likely you will have spare time in your MS1-MS2 years but much less spare time during MS3-MS4 (and residency).
2. Connecting with your younger and older classmates.
It is likely you will encounter other 27 yo (or older classmates) in medical school. 27 is not the same thing as being 40 yo or a wizened matriarch. Hmmm ... I think the average age of an incoming medical student is around 24 yo. Some are mature, and some are immature; some have real-life experiences, and others barely have any real-life experiences. Where do you fit in? Do you want to connect with everyone in your class, or only a few ... or just do your own thing?
3. If you're married or in a committed relationship, it's important to discuss financial and relocation topics.
If you're dependent on one income (while you are a medical student) or have to relocate for your future residency, it's advisable to honestly and realistically discuss these things with your significant other before the last minute. For instance, how does your significant other feel about relocating to another state, or possibly having to find a new job, or changing their job to accommodate your residency goals (especially if the significant other has their own established professional career)?
I wish you the very best of success as an incoming MS1! 🙂
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Hi, I understand that difficulties may arise because of age ... Since most of the people around you at the university will be much younger than you. The most important thing is that in no case should someone go on about ... I wish you good luck!
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How odd - haven't heard that problem before and just received some PMs. Thanks for letting me know!
Sent you the link - If anyone else has trouble, please post here, too 🙂
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At 27 you're like <1SD above the mean for matriculant age. I started at 29 years old, and most of my classmates were already more mature than me so... Age won't be a problem unless you make it one in your own head. You'll likely find that you have more in common with your classmates than you expect.
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My first biggest issue was quitting a pretty well-paying job with awesome benefits (free flights).
Second was getting back into study-mode, especially since I stopped with the science classes since graduating high school.
Third I would say connecting with classmates, but considering how cliquish medical school was and how a good majority were pretentious jerks, maybe that isn't such a bad thing.
Fourth and last is being older than your superiors. On my last rotation, my attending physician was three years younger than me. I don't really mind that, but I guess some people might think that's weird.
Second was getting back into study-mode, especially since I stopped with the science classes since graduating high school.
Third I would say connecting with classmates, but considering how cliquish medical school was and how a good majority were pretentious jerks, maybe that isn't such a bad thing.
Fourth and last is being older than your superiors. On my last rotation, my attending physician was three years younger than me. I don't really mind that, but I guess some people might think that's weird.
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My biggest challenge year 1 was coming to terms with not owning a home/having children for at least the next 4 years, if not longer. Seeing my peers that did not go to medical school moving forward with their “adult lives” while I am still in school is challenging. Especially because - as someone mentioned in this thread already - I left a decent job with benefits to be a student again.
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In some aspects, age is a mindset. You can befriend and hang out with your younger classmates with a little effort. I made it through 4 years of med school without anyone knowing I was several years older than my classmates unless I told them. Take care of your body and let your soul live a little and you'll be fine.
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deleted967981
Selling our (really nice) home we’ve lived in for the past 12.5 years to move into an apartment half the size with four teenagers has been difficult on me psychologically. My brain keeps trying to tell me what I “should” be doing at my age (39).
Adjusting to having professors younger than me or classmates the same age as my children has never been an issue for me.
Adjusting to having professors younger than me or classmates the same age as my children has never been an issue for me.
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you are impressive. I know for a fact I don’t have the strength to share an apartment with 4 teenagers. Let alone go to medical school on top of it.
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LOL...I’m not at all impressive, trust me. I’ve raised them, therefore I can live with them. Tell me I’d have to live with some else’s 4 teenagers and I’d turn you down flat.
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I think you can tell from the diversity of replies here that there is no "one size fits all" experience of being a non-traditional student. I was 30 when I started medical school and will be turning 31 next month. During the first year, my partner and I got engaged and are now planning a wedding.
We both want kids, but we're not sure what that should look like. Taking a year off wouldn't be terrible (and in fact, it sounds pretty luxurious compared to typical maternity leaves) but I'm not sure whether I'm willing to give up a year of salary in order to go into *more* debt.
Even with all these questions, I love what I'm doing and I'm excited for everything that comes next. I don't feel like there's a way to do it "wrong."
We both want kids, but we're not sure what that should look like. Taking a year off wouldn't be terrible (and in fact, it sounds pretty luxurious compared to typical maternity leaves) but I'm not sure whether I'm willing to give up a year of salary in order to go into *more* debt.
Even with all these questions, I love what I'm doing and I'm excited for everything that comes next. I don't feel like there's a way to do it "wrong."
I am 28 and studying abroad for medical school. It has been challenging after quitting a job in finance but I was happier working as a medical scribe making near minimum wage then there. The biggest challenges have been the distance and amount of time having to study and the strain it has put on my relationship with my girlfriend. She is supportive but it does make it harder. It has been a huge adjustment but my dream of becoming a physician is still alive and I am going for it. I know people in their 30's who just started residencies and matched into competitive areas so it is definitely attainable.
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I am matriculating at my top choice, so I have nothing to complain about. I am 33 years old, and I know that it might feel weird, but I already met some of my classmates, and they are really great, so I do not think the age will be the problem either.... however I have been having problems with my personal life. My boyfriend moved out 2 months ago, - which was a good thing, we were definitely not right for each other. He was always jealous of me studying instead of spending time with him.... He never even finished his associates degree (nothing wrong with that), so I think he was always resenting me for my career path... I don't know. Anyway, now I sort of have a very gloom perspective on my personal life. I feel very pessimistic about it. I do not think I will meet anyone... I talk to people, I am open, even signed up for a dating site, but the second guys hear about my professional inspirations, they run away.... One guy today, for example, asked me how my nursing school was going (he assumed it is a nursing school, - my profile said "healthcare field"). He is nice, simple guy, manual labor, has associates degree. When I said that it is medical school, he stopped texting me 🙂). it is funny but it is also sad. And I am older, - in the medical field majority of people my age are already residents or even attendings. And married.... So I think that it Is possible that I being single is just the price I will have to pay for being a doctor. And if this is what it is, - so be it, but it is definitely sad....
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yeah I think I will just give up on dating completely. I mean, there are people who spend their whole lives alone, and that's ok. I will finish residency, buy a farm, set up animal rescue, work in a local hospital. At some point maybe adopt someone or foster. It will be ok. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so maybe me being alone has a reason to it.
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you know, you have been so amazing on so many forums, I would not mind connecting with you in real life. Networking is power 🙂. if you want to connect off SDN, PM me.
Thank you for being supportive.
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deleted967981
This. Marriage/family, like medical school, isn’t going anywhere. Focus on your success right now, and if the right person comes along, great.
(I’m aware that infertility issues increase with age, but “family” can be defined many ways)
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If you're an average med student in appearance and personality (ie not fking crazy seemingly like 40% of med students there), it's not hard to find a single nurse/PT/staff in the hospital to date as an MS3. Especially if you see them on a consistent basis. just chat them up when you have a spare minute, like pre-rounding or whatever, ask them about themselves etc. Works pretty well.
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Thanks ! I heard that I am pretty easy to get along with and that I am funny . I am average looking (not “beautiful “, but “cute”), but I make people comfortable with me . So there is hope I guess . Thank you !🙂
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There's definitely hope! There's tons of cute single RNs, CRNAs, scrub techs etc who would date a medical student. as an MS3 I was surprised at being asked out by nurses etc after talking to a few at the hospital just to be friendly. I'm not the best looking or socially fluent person either.
But you're like a huge investment into their future if you end up marrying. Tons of guys (like my current husband) would love to be a stay at home dad or work part time and pursue their hobbies and you are like their financial support when an attending (nothing wrong with that, they totally deserve it). Don't sell yourself short.
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I NEVER thought of myself as an “investment “, but it does make sense !!! Thank you !!!!
