Choosing psych because you like your beard

[NewmansOwn]

Me without a beard?

Boyish. Sullen. Depressed. Unimpressive.

Me with a beard?

Rugged. Handsome. Intellectual. Trustworthy. Awesome.

Like Samson (and Doc Samson) before me, my power obviously stems from the enigmatic aura of my chestnut whiskers.

Clearly, psychiatry is the field of beards. From Alois Alzheimer and Freud to Eugen Bleuler and Emil Kraepelin, the great minds of psychiatry have been supported by dignified facial-follicular augmentation.

Conclusion: I must choose psychiatry as my specialty. It is akin to Aragorn ascending the throne of the Reunited Kingdom -- it is my destiny.

I am here to offer advice to those who lack the talismanic beard:

1) Become a male.
2) Rub manly things on your face, such as gunpowder, Hustler magazines, large slabs of red meat, various sports equipment, beer and axle grease -- hair will spring forth in no time.

Tell me, friends, how many of you have made the decision to allow your manhood to bound free upon your face?

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[38689]

I look pretty in eyeglasses.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

...
Tell me, friends, how many of you have made the decision to allow your manhood to bound free upon your face?

Made the decision 28 years ago when my hairline receded too far north.

 

[billypilgrim37]

I have been bearded since my honeymoon, 4 years ago, with only a 3 day hiatus because of acting in a play. I look about fifteen without a beard, and about 40 with one, so I'm much better off with it.

 

[sunlioness]

Hm. With proper hormone supplementation, I could grow a beard. But I think my patients would be a bit freaked out.

 

[Anasazi23]

I've contemplated it. Particularly the goatee.

However, due to my genetic makeup, of which I have little control, I tend to grow an odd-appearing mix of orange/red, white, and dark brown hair in my chin area. When grown out, I look remarkably like a calico cat.

Alas, I remain most usually mildly gruffy to clean-shaven, depending on the day

 

[DoctorPardi]

I at this point do not have the option of choosing psychiatry because of my "beard". I don't know if I am still too young (22) or if it is just my genetics but I can't grow anything more than some serious mutton chops.

See:

Well I've never let it grow out that far and I can grow a stupid looking neck beard but nothing from the bottom lip to the chin and only a few odd looking hairs on my upper lip. A shame really. However if I ever choose "Motorcycle Medicine" then I will likely don the chops.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

Well I've never let it grow out that far and I can grow a stupid looking neck beard but nothing from the bottom lip to the chin and only a few odd looking hairs on my upper lip. A shame really. However if I ever choose "Motorcycle Medicine" then I will likely don the chops.

Make sure you combine it with a nice mullet!

 

[DoctorPardi]

Make sure you combine it with a nice mullet!

Well I live in Alabama, so it might be considered unusual for me not to already sport the chops and mullet look lol. (I kid I kid, I've lived there all my life and rarely see mullets these days )

 

[meche colomar]

thanks for the laugh!

i know a lot of guys that sport beards, and most of them allow their manhood to thrive on the southern side of their face because scarcity is a problem up north...

 

[NewmansOwn]

thanks for the laugh!

i know a lot of guys that sport beards, and most of them allow their manhood to thrive on the southern side of their face because scarcity is a problem up north...

Andrew Weill-style -- I like it. He didn't do a residency, but his warm smile betwixt that snowy cloud of hair is all the mental health I need...

 

[Sneezing]

I plan to grow a nice thick one for starting intern year. I keep running into the problem of patients looking at me, pausing, then saying in a confused manner, "How old are you?" I've never really found a good way to respond to this, but when I did have my beard in the past, they never questioned my age.

 

[masterofmonkeys]

I get asked too often if i'm in the military if I don't have a goatee. When I have a goatee they generally assume I'm some kind of street brawler. And then they ask if doctors are allowed to hit people.

This amuses me.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

I get asked too often if i'm in the military if I don't have a goatee. When I have a goatee they generally assume I'm some kind of street brawler. And then they ask if doctors are allowed to hit people.

This amuses me.

But if you don't have a beard, you can't stroke it thoughtfully while asking "Does it amuse you to think about hitting your patients?"

 

[zenman]

I look older with a beard but then I am old. However, my wife thinks I look like Sean Connery with a beard so that results in perks

 

[OldPsychDoc]

I look older with a beard but then I am old. However, my wife thinks I look like Sean Connery with a beard so that results in perks

Shaken or stirred?

 

[zenman]

Shaken or stirred?

Depends on her mood...