- Joined
- Nov 20, 2009
- Messages
- 786
- Reaction score
- 54
I’ve read every thread I could find about the fellowship vs job issue. I’m still struggling with it, so here I am looking for input.
I was sure I'd do a fellowship up until the end of PGY2. PGY3 was the worst year in my medical education experience. I seriously considered leaving medicine entirely; glad I didn’t, in retrospect. PGY4 is better, in part because my class has worked hard to right the systemic issues (happy to say our current 3’s are much better off than we were). Nevertheless, the sting of burnout lingers. I always wanted to be able to balance medicine with my non-medical pursuits, but feel more urgency about it now. I want to be able to travel and use my creativity. And yet...
I still love CL. I applied to fellowships despite my mixed feelings because I was so sure of it before, and interviewed at some great places. The idea of being able to flesh out my passion for CL is exciting. When I’m on the CL service, which never feels often enough, the work is meaningful and intellectually stimulating. That said, I know I don't *need* a fellowship. I don’t know if I want to be in academia – I have flirted with the idea over time. It saddens me to think of delaying the rest of my life for another year. More than that, I fear submitting to training where the hierarchy lends to abuses of power (possible in a job, but moreso in training). I worry about feeling trapped, dehumanized, and powerless again. I have no reason to believe that the places where I interviewed are like that.
TLDR: Love learning about CL a whole lot, may or may not go into academia. Want to get on with living the rest of life, worried about potentially being abused by the medical education system again. Any perspectives on the matter are appreciated…particularly from those recently/currently in fellowship.
I was sure I'd do a fellowship up until the end of PGY2. PGY3 was the worst year in my medical education experience. I seriously considered leaving medicine entirely; glad I didn’t, in retrospect. PGY4 is better, in part because my class has worked hard to right the systemic issues (happy to say our current 3’s are much better off than we were). Nevertheless, the sting of burnout lingers. I always wanted to be able to balance medicine with my non-medical pursuits, but feel more urgency about it now. I want to be able to travel and use my creativity. And yet...
I still love CL. I applied to fellowships despite my mixed feelings because I was so sure of it before, and interviewed at some great places. The idea of being able to flesh out my passion for CL is exciting. When I’m on the CL service, which never feels often enough, the work is meaningful and intellectually stimulating. That said, I know I don't *need* a fellowship. I don’t know if I want to be in academia – I have flirted with the idea over time. It saddens me to think of delaying the rest of my life for another year. More than that, I fear submitting to training where the hierarchy lends to abuses of power (possible in a job, but moreso in training). I worry about feeling trapped, dehumanized, and powerless again. I have no reason to believe that the places where I interviewed are like that.
TLDR: Love learning about CL a whole lot, may or may not go into academia. Want to get on with living the rest of life, worried about potentially being abused by the medical education system again. Any perspectives on the matter are appreciated…particularly from those recently/currently in fellowship.