hahaha... you know, in the moment you would probably come up with something. I've always wanted to be a sports statistician or a broadcaster... both seemingly low key, entertaining professions
A sports statistician would be pretty sweet -- you get to sit there and come up with the ridiculous things like "The New York Giants have never beaten the Philadelphia Eagles when being down by more than 5 points halfway through the 3rd quarter on Sundays in the first half of December of even numbered, non-Olympic years"