Cliches to avoid

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Goro said:
The essays that start out like a movie script
Click to expand...
The storm hit hard that night, the kind that rattles windows and makes you feel like the world might split open. Rain hammered the tin roof of our one-room shack, each drop a sharp reminder of how fragile everything was. Inside, the air was thick — with humidity, with fear — and then came the sound I knew too well: a heavy thunk, my father collapsing to the floor.

I froze. My heart surged, but my body didn’t move. I wanted to help him — God, I needed to — but the truth hit me harder than the storm ever could: I didn’t know how. I didn’t have the training, the tools, the knowledge. I wasn’t a doctor. I wasn’t anything.

I knelt beside him, took his damp, trembling hand in mine, and felt the weight of helplessness settle into my bones. And in that moment — that awful, powerless moment — I made a promise. When this was over, when the chaos quieted and the emergency passed, I would change. I would learn. I would become the person who could help. I would become a doctor — not for prestige, not for power — but for people like my father. For the ones who are forgotten. For the underserved.

That night didn’t just break me. It built me.
 
Hello ChatGPT. Write a medical school personal essay full of tired cliches as an example of what students should not write.

Here’s an intentionally cliché-filled example of a medical school personal essay that demonstrates what not to do.

Example of a cliché-ridden medical school personal statement (not recommended):


From the time I was five years old, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor. I would play with my toy stethoscope and practice on my stuffed animals, pretending to heal them and make them feel better. Medicine has always been my destiny, and I believe I was born to help people.

My interest in medicine only grew when my grandmother got sick. Watching her struggle with illness was difficult, but it inspired me to pursue a career where I could make a difference in people’s lives. I knew right then that I wanted to dedicate myself to caring for others. This solidified my passion for medicine.

In high school, I was fascinated by biology and loved learning about how the body works. I spent countless hours in the lab, and each time I looked into a microscope, I knew I was getting closer to my dream. I also volunteered at a hospital, where I truly learned the meaning of compassion. I discovered that medicine is not just about science—it’s about people. Every patient I encountered taught me something new, and I realized that being a doctor is about more than treating illness; it’s about touching lives.

College only reinforced my calling. Through my classes, I gained a solid foundation in science, and my volunteer experiences taught me the importance of empathy. Shadowing doctors showed me what it means to care for patients and confirmed that I want to follow in their footsteps. I saw the joy on patients’ faces when they received good news, and I felt the pain when they didn’t. These moments taught me resilience and strengthened my desire to become a physician.

Medicine is my passion, my calling, and my dream. I am hardworking, compassionate, and determined. I want to attend medical school so that I can make a difference, save lives, and give back to my community. I believe I have the dedication, perseverance, and empathy necessary to succeed in this demanding but rewarding field. Becoming a doctor is not just a career choice—it’s who I am.
 
"I didn't choose medicine; medicine chose me."

The greatest cliche of all imo (and funnily enough, I know someone who literally wrote this line to conclude their PS and got into VCOM lol)
 
A question for the adcoms. A student's writing style is one where they write a cliched personal statement. Other than that, they are very qualified. What happens? Does the application move forward? Some applicants are, by nature, expressive and fluid writers (I'm not one of them). Personally, I have run out of stuff to say, being on my second cycle. I've resisted the cliche approach at all costs, but I can see how it would happen.
 
Heyigotnoclue said:
A question for the adcoms. A student's writing style is one where they write a cliched personal statement. Other than that, they are very qualified. What happens? Does the application move forward? Some applicants are, by nature, expressive and fluid writers (I'm not one of them). Personally, I have run out of stuff to say, being on my second cycle. I've resisted the cliche approach at all costs, but I can see how it would happen.
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We don't have the application, but suffice to say, the rest must support the applicant too.

The PS is the trailer for the movie we are going to watch. The trailer can still be excellent for a movie that is awful. Or "Average."

Remember: Mission fit.
 
Starting an essay with a quotation. In media res, as they say. Some applicants take "show, don't tell" to the extreme and fill their essay with exposition, to the detriment of reflection.

Family members in the hospital are also pretty common. My eyes kind of glaze over at that point, because it's a bit hack. Every season, unwitting grandmothers and grandfathers will be sacrificed in saccharine fashion at the altar of the adcoms. I find it hard to believe that you knew you wanted to do medicine at 12 years old because a doctor was kind to your loved one for 15 minutes while you sat in medsurg for a few days. More likely, you came to the decision after evaluating the real risks and rewards of the profession, material or otherwise. But that's not sexy writing.

Heyigotnoclue said:
A question for the adcoms. A student's writing style is one where they write a cliched personal statement. Other than that, they are very qualified. What happens? Does the application move forward? Some applicants are, by nature, expressive and fluid writers (I'm not one of them). Personally, I have run out of stuff to say, being on my second cycle. I've resisted the cliche approach at all costs, but I can see how it would happen.
Click to expand...
Cliched writing isn't a death sentence. Most essays contain a bit of cliche because you can't avoid the trappings of the question. (The question is: why medicine?) And most essays are boring. I don't expect deep insight into the human condition from a recent college grad who's spent most of their life in classrooms. Truth be told, I skim over most of the essay, scanning for red flags or inconsistencies.
 
Mr.Smile12 said:
Hello ChatGPT. Write a medical school personal essay full of tired cliches as an example of what students should not write.

Here’s an intentionally cliché-filled example of a medical school personal essay that demonstrates what not to do.

Example of a cliché-ridden medical school personal statement (not recommended):


From the time I was five years old, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor. I would play with my toy stethoscope and practice on my stuffed animals, pretending to heal them and make them feel better. Medicine has always been my destiny, and I believe I was born to help people.

My interest in medicine only grew when my grandmother got sick. Watching her struggle with illness was difficult, but it inspired me to pursue a career where I could make a difference in people’s lives. I knew right then that I wanted to dedicate myself to caring for others. This solidified my passion for medicine.

In high school, I was fascinated by biology and loved learning about how the body works. I spent countless hours in the lab, and each time I looked into a microscope, I knew I was getting closer to my dream. I also volunteered at a hospital, where I truly learned the meaning of compassion. I discovered that medicine is not just about science—it’s about people. Every patient I encountered taught me something new, and I realized that being a doctor is about more than treating illness; it’s about touching lives.

College only reinforced my calling. Through my classes, I gained a solid foundation in science, and my volunteer experiences taught me the importance of empathy. Shadowing doctors showed me what it means to care for patients and confirmed that I want to follow in their footsteps. I saw the joy on patients’ faces when they received good news, and I felt the pain when they didn’t. These moments taught me resilience and strengthened my desire to become a physician.

Medicine is my passion, my calling, and my dream. I am hardworking, compassionate, and determined. I want to attend medical school so that I can make a difference, save lives, and give back to my community. I believe I have the dedication, perseverance, and empathy necessary to succeed in this demanding but rewarding field. Becoming a doctor is not just a career choice—it’s who I am.
Click to expand...
I've read this very essay a gazzillion times!!!!
 
Heyigotnoclue said:
A question for the adcoms. A student's writing style is one where they write a cliched personal statement. Other than that, they are very qualified. What happens? Does the application move forward? Some applicants are, by nature, expressive and fluid writers (I'm not one of them). Personally, I have run out of stuff to say, being on my second cycle. I've resisted the cliche approach at all costs, but I can see how it would happen.
Click to expand...
Remember, with a limited number of seats, med schools do look for reasons to screen people out.
 
karaya said:
Family members in the hospital are also pretty common. My eyes kind of glaze over at that point, because it's a bit hack. Every season, unwitting grandmothers and grandfathers will be sacrificed in saccharine fashion at the altar of the adcoms. I find it hard to believe that you knew you wanted to do medicine at 12 years old because a doctor was kind to your loved one for 15 minutes while you sat in medsurg for a few days. More likely, you came to the decision after evaluating the real risks and rewards of the profession, material or otherwise. But that's not sexy writing.
Click to expand...
I always find these stories kind of unbelievable. I had two family members go through extended and very serious hospital stays, my brother for an unexpected accident when I was 10, and my dad for a major stroke when I was 21. The only thing I remember from those experiences is the trauma, fear and stress of the situation, I couldn't tell you a single thing about the medical providers who cared for them (I'm sure they were great but I have zero memory of it). I always find it hard to believe that a 12 year old remembers the doctor who helped grandma at all, much less enough to be inspired to pursue a career years later.
 
Mr.Smile12 said:
From the time I was five years old, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor. I would play with my toy stethoscope and practice on my stuffed animals, pretending to heal them and make them feel better. Medicine has always been my destiny, and I believe I was born to help people.

My interest in medicine only grew when my grandmother got sick. Watching her struggle with illness was difficult, but it inspired me to pursue a career where I could make a difference in people’s lives. I knew right then that I wanted to dedicate myself to caring for others. This solidified my passion for medicine.

In high school, I was fascinated by biology and loved learning about how the body works. I spent countless hours in the lab, and each time I looked into a microscope, I knew I was getting closer to my dream. I also volunteered at a hospital, where I truly learned the meaning of compassion. I discovered that medicine is not just about science—it’s about people. Every patient I encountered taught me something new, and I realized that being a doctor is about more than treating illness; it’s about touching lives.
Click to expand...
I actually did write about "I discovered that medicine is not just about science, it’s about people." 😭
 
Oh, I'm going to agree with the method of starting the essay with a quotation or a sound.

How do you react when you see an essay prompt or MMI stations start with a quotation? We react that way too.
 
There are two things that really bug me when I read or hear them. The first is when an applicant talks about what it means to be a physician: HELLO, you haven’t been a doctor for a single day, so please don’t try to tell me what it’s all about. The second is when an applicant seems to expect bonus points for the suffering they have undergone—it’s good to talk about what your life experiences have taught you, but please understand that those experiences don’t automatically entitle you to a place in medical school.
 
I think the process has become so ridiculously hypercompetitive that most applicants feel the need to impress (I cured cancer!) when they write their PS. We are bombarded with so much information about what WE SHOULD and SHOULD NOT write, that we no longer have a clear idea of why we are running this crazy race in the first place. For some of us, being a physician is just something that is in us. We are born with it - it is definitely a calling and if some of us write about this calling - a deep interest (that never changes or diminishes) in the human body and science AND the desire to help others (isn't that fundamentally what being a physician is?) - we'd be put in the reject pile.
 
LunaOri said:
There are two things that really bug me when I read or hear them. The first is when an applicant talks about what it means to be a physician: HELLO, you haven’t been a doctor for a single day, so please don’t try to tell me what it’s all about. The second is when an applicant seems to expect bonus points for the suffering they have undergone—it’s good to talk about what your life experiences have taught you, but please understand that those experiences don’t automatically entitle you to a place in medical school.
Click to expand...
I did both 😭
Althouh for the first one I said what it means to be in medicine (as in healthcare), rather than what it means to be a physician, and for the second one I talked about how my prior adversities contributed to who I am. I hope that's a better way
 
Heyigotnoclue said:
I think the process has become so ridiculously hypercompetitive that most applicants feel the need to impress (I cured cancer!) when they write their PS. We are bombarded with so much information about what WE SHOULD and SHOULD NOT write, that we no longer have a clear idea of why we are running this crazy race in the first place. For some of us, being a physician is just something that is in us. We are born with it - it is definitely a calling and if some of us write about this calling - a deep interest (that never changes or diminishes) in the human body and science AND the desire to help others (isn't that fundamentally what being a physician is?) - we'd be put in the reject pile.
Click to expand...
I think my points are clear. Read
www.studentdoctor.net

Finding Your Purpose as a Health Professional | SDN Review

In the 2004 Tony-award-winning musical Avenue Q, Princeton, a recent college graduate (with an English degree from a prestigious university), searches to
www.studentdoctor.net www.studentdoctor.net
 
Heyigotnoclue said:
For some of us, being a physician is just something that is in us. We are born with it - it is definitely a calling and if some of us write about this calling - a deep interest (that never changes or diminishes) in the human body and science AND the desire to help others (isn't that fundamentally what being a physician is?) - we'd be put in the reject pile.
Click to expand...
The key is in introspection and exploration. If you can't explain your interest, then how do you know it's not going to change at some point in the future? If you haven't spent time working in or investigating other areas, how do you know they don't interest you? Doing the metacognitive work is a really, really important part of the process that a lot of my advisees skip, or won't accept as important. They want to be a physician, they've always wanted to be a physician, and even if they can't really articulate why they're sure that's not going to change. And those are the students who run into the most problems in the application cycle as well as in preparing.

To me, "a deep interest in the human body and science and a desire to help others" doesn't automatically say "be a physician". There are dozens of careers that match those interests. I would think that a student who could not more deeply articulate things hasn't gained a lot of practical experience in what separates a physician from other careers.

It would lead me to wonder what interest you about the human body but not other mammals, for example. Otherwise, veterinary medicine supports a deep interest in bodies, science, and a desire to help others. Being a dentist or an optometrist also fits the bill well, and then to varying degrees so does nursing, PA/NP, podiatry, etc.
 
Can a really well written personal statement really make the diffrence for an application with a low GPA or MCAT?
 
Depends. Certain stats will get you screened out at certain schools, so doesn’t matter what you right if you don’t get past the first screening stage. However, a strong and clear narrative about why medicine will definitely help you, and a weak one will certainly harm you.
 
achiles_07 said:
Can a really well written personal statement really make the diffrence for an application with a low GPA or MCAT?
Click to expand...
Depends what you mean. A personal statement isn't really just about the writing being good: it's your chance to showcase all of the competencies you have that don't really fit in elsewhere, as well as provide a narrative for why you want to be a physician / show what kind of physician you might be.

The best written PS will fall flat if you haven't done the metacognitive work to figure out your why / narrative, and it will also fall flat if you don't have the competencies or experiences to support your narrative.

One medical school that a lot of my students go to has academic preparation (MCAT, GPA, coursework) as about 20% of their scoring system for applicants. That can be an important 20%, but it's far from the only thing they're looking at.
 
achiles_07 said:
Can a really well written personal statement really make the diffrence for an application with a low GPA or MCAT?
Click to expand...
You grossly underestimate the applicant pool if you think an essay will overcome low metrics, especially in the genAI era. Mission fit.
 
Heyigotnoclue said:
I think the process has become so ridiculously hypercompetitive that most applicants feel the need to impress (I cured cancer!) when they write their PS. We are bombarded with so much information about what WE SHOULD and SHOULD NOT write, that we no longer have a clear idea of why we are running this crazy race in the first place. For some of us, being a physician is just something that is in us. We are born with it - it is definitely a calling and if some of us write about this calling - a deep interest (that never changes or diminishes) in the human body and science AND the desire to help others (isn't that fundamentally what being a physician is?) - we'd be put in the reject pile.
Click to expand...
I agree, I had to write so many things that are only half true just to make a good PS. I wish it was enough to just say "I like science and being a doctor would make my life meaningful," because that's the truth. Sure it's an extremely difficult journey that I know basically nothing about, but I think it's so silly that some people expect us to do months of deep introspection and have a unique motivation when we're all doing this for the same reasons.
 
saltykiosk said:
I did both 😭
Althouh for the first one I said what it means to be in medicine (as in healthcare), rather than what it means to be a physician, and for the second one I talked about how my prior adversities contributed to who I am. I hope that's a better way
Click to expand...
It is not a problem if you say what it means TO YOU; what I react to is an absolute statement like: "X is an essential quality that a physician must have" or "a physician must be X". That's not the same as describing how you worked with a doctor who displayed a certain trait or skill that you observed had a positive effect on their patients, or how you learned something from a physician that has been valuable in your own interactions with patients. And describing how your difficult circumstances shaped you as a person is good because we want to know more about you as a person. It becomes a problem when you use it to justify weaknesses in your application rather than show how you developed strengths from it.
 
olofmeister said:
I agree, I had to write so many things that are only half true just to make a good PS. I wish it was enough to just say "I like science and being a doctor would make my life meaningful," because that's the truth. Sure it's an extremely difficult journey that I know basically nothing about, but I think it's so silly that some people expect us to do months of deep introspection and have a unique motivation when we're all doing this for the same reasons.
Click to expand...
Having worked with hundreds of students...

1) You're not all doing it for the same reasons. This is also why different medical schools have different missions.

2) This is a very intense career that has a high burnout rate. Asking people to do a modicum of introspection to understand their motivations before embarking on an expensive educational path that is in high societal need doesn't sound like a lot to ask.

olofmeister said:
I wish it was enough to just say "I like science and being a doctor would make my life meaningful," because that's the truth.
Click to expand...
Ok, but why would it make your life meaningful? What other things have you thought about that wouldn't make your life meaningful?
 
olofmeister said:
. I wish it was enough to just say "I like science and being a doctor would make my life meaningful," because that's the truth.
Click to expand...
The problem with this type of thinking is that there are 12,000 other people applying to the schools you want to apply to, and if they all said the same thing, how do you choose among them?

Secondly this process is not about you. It's about the patients and what do you bring to the table?
 
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