Cold feet about moving on to grad school?

[Alacrity]

I've accepted an offer from one of my top choices, yay! But now I'm starting to get scared. What if the new city/state/region isn't enjoyable? What if I miss my family and friends too much? What if the program doesn't fulfill my expectations?

Maybe its just a case of cold feet or the natural "down" period that comes after a hard won victory. Anybody else coming down off the "I got accepted high?"

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[Jezebel09]

I've accepted an offer from one of my top choices, yay! But now I'm starting to get scared. What if the new city/state/region isn't enjoyable? What if I miss my family and friends too much? What if the program doesn't fulfill my expectations?

Maybe its just a case of cold feet or the natural "down" period that comes after a hard won victory. Anybody else coming down off the "I got accepted high?"

It's a HUGE transition for you. Of course, you have some fears and uncertainties. It is a big stressor, and I am sure that most go through the same feelings that you are feeling right now.

Plus, you have worked so hard to get into the program. But, it was still a dream for you. Now, the dream has been realized and reality is beginning to set in.

Your life is going to change, and change, while often good, can be challenging.

Good luck!!!

 

[PhD123]

I've accepted an offer from one of my top choices, yay! But now I'm starting to get scared. What if the new city/state/region isn't enjoyable? What if I miss my family and friends too much? What if the program doesn't fulfill my expectations?

Maybe its just a case of cold feet or the natural "down" period that comes after a hard won victory. Anybody else coming down off the "I got accepted high?"

I'm so glad that someone else feels the same way! I've worked my butt off for this, accepted an offer from my first choice (yay!), and while I am beyond happy it has all paid off, the reality of it all is definitely starting to set in. I have pretty much all of the concerns that you listed above along with "What if I don't fulfill the program's expectations?." I think it's probably normal to have concerns now that it's real. We've put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears (and money!) into this, and want to be sure we've made the right decision.

 

[Jezebel09]

"What if I don't fulfill the program's expectations?." I think it's probably normal to have concerns now that it's real.

Yep, it's called the "imposter syndrome" (among other names). And, most graduate students feel this way in the beginning. Just remember: they accepted you above a host of other candidates. If you couldn't cut it, they would not have chosen you. : )

Congrats!!!

 

[PsychGirl7]

I've accepted an offer from one of my top choices, yay! But now I'm starting to get scared. What if the new city/state/region isn't enjoyable? What if I miss my family and friends too much? What if the program doesn't fulfill my expectations?

Maybe its just a case of cold feet or the natural "down" period that comes after a hard won victory. Anybody else coming down off the "I got accepted high?"

I feel the same way!! Except I am "coming down" before I have made my decision, so I think this is the main reason I can't decide. I thought I knew where I wanted to go, then I started getting scared and started thinking, "What if i can't cut it in this program? What if the program has political issues I don't know about? What if this southern girl can't can't make it though the winters up north and is miserable?"

But I guess I have to suck it up and decide. I might even try AlaskanJustin's coin flip method. But just know that you are not alone in your thinking. I think it is natural, but we will make it through!

 

[phillydave]

I've accepted an offer from one of my top choices, yay! But now I'm starting to get scared. What if the new city/state/region isn't enjoyable? What if I miss my family and friends too much? What if the program doesn't fulfill my expectations?

Maybe its just a case of cold feet or the natural "down" period that comes after a hard won victory. Anybody else coming down off the "I got accepted high?"

Yessss.

And add a slight case of impostor syndrome. My feeling is that once we're knee-deep into our programs we'll feel a whole lot better.

 

[elphaba]

Absolutely!!!

I've definitely already entered imposter-syndrome-mode and am fretting about whether or not I'll be able to hack it, if I'll be able to be the kind of student they're expecting me to be, and so on. But just as someone above said... we managed to get in despite steep competition. That absolutely means something... we're heading into this crazy new world for a reason, we totally deserve to be there, and I trust that we'll surprise ourselves with our accomplishments and abilities. That (or a shortened version of it!) will be my mantra for the next handful of months...

I'm also moving 1500+ miles away from my family, to a part of the country I have zero familiarity with, so that's definitely anxiety-producing. But I'm headed to my top choice school and I'm beyond ecstatic to discover all of the research awesome that will result from working with my fabulous new mentor. Despite any hesitation about leaving my family behind, I know that, while challenging, this is going to be an absolutely amazing journey. Terrifying and overwhelming? You betcha. But what's better than jumping into a brand new life where you get to be immersed in the subject you're most passionate about? I'm really, really scared but also SO excited to see where this takes me....

 

[buzzworm]

Yep, same here. I know this is normal, but it's nice to hear that other people are going through the same thing.

I go through this every time I start a major new thing (school, job, etc.) -- so I know it'll get better. In these situations, I think the unknown is almost always worse than the known.

 

[Jezebel09]

You betcha.

Just wondering, are you from Minnesota or Wisconsin, or do people in other parts of this country use this phrase as well?

 

[AlaskanJustin]

Just wondering, are you from Minnesota or Wisconsin, or do people in other parts of this country use this phrase as well?

annoyingly apparently the only "Alaskan" that does it is Sarah Palin, making us all look like idiots, we hate that phrase (and ps North dakotans use it too)

 

[Jezebel09]

annoyingly apparently the only "Alaskan" that does it is Sarah Palin, making us all look like idiots, we hate that phrase (and ps North dakotans use it too)

Yes, I forgot about North Dakota. . . . When I first heard her speak, I thought she was from MN, WI, IL. Her accent sounds remarkably like ours.
So, is her accent similar to other Alaskans, or is this too an anomaly?

And, for the record, I don't hate the phrase. I really was just wondering if the poster was from the Great Lakes region (or ND).

 

[cara susanna]

Wisconsin accents are nothing compared to North Dakota ones, yikes.

 

[Jezebel09]

Wisconsin accents are nothing compared to North Dakota ones, yikes.

There is a similarity. People who live in these states can generally tell the difference, but they are not completely different. Completely different: ND and southern accents or WI and southern accent (or the Bostonian accent, etc.)

People who watch the movie Fargo often think people from WI talk like that. And, that movie was based on characters from ND and MN. The movie was obviously very over the top with the accents, but it wasn't wrong--just exaggerated. : )

Oh, and for the record, not everyone in this part of the country has this type of accent. I think it is more common in smaller towns and rural areas. I don't have this accent nor do any of my friends.

 

[elphaba]

Yes, I forgot about North Dakota. . . . When I first heard her speak, I thought she was from MN, WI, IL. Her accent sounds remarkably like ours.
So, is her accent similar to other Alaskans, or is this too an anomaly?

And, for the record, I don't hate the phrase. I really was just wondering if the poster was from the Great Lakes region (or ND).

Ha! I'm from Michigan. Nice catch!

I used to say it fairly often, but yes, with the Palinization of the phrase, I've significantly reduced my useage of it. It slips sometimes though....

 

[AlaskanJustin]

Yes, I forgot about North Dakota. . . . When I first heard her speak, I thought she was from MN, WI, IL. Her accent sounds remarkably like ours.
So, is her accent similar to other Alaskans, or is this too an anomaly?

And, for the record, I don't hate the phrase. I really was just wondering if the poster was from the Great Lakes region (or ND).

I dont hate the phrase either, and Alaskans sound nothing like her, I am still amazed at how she sounds... I am pretty sure its all fake, as fake as her.... hearing her talk does to me what nails on a chalkboard does to people

 

[Jezebel09]

Ha! I'm from Michigan. Nice catch!

I used to say it fairly often, but yes, with the Palinization of the phrase, I've significantly reduced my useage of it. It slips sometimes though....

I don't think I would have caught it if I never lived outside of the region. When I go home for visits, I can really hear the regional phrases and accents, which I never really noticed when I lived there.

 

[cara susanna]

I'm in North Dakota and it's usually okay, but sometimes I hear an accent that just sounds straight out of the movie Fargo. I guess maybe I notice it because I'm from a part of Wisconsin where people are less likely to have that "yuper" accent.

 

[PsychPhDone]

I felt freaked out too, and every so often I think of quitting. Once you get caught up in the excitement of moving, exploring a new area, and making new friends, you'll be too busy to freak out!

 

[deleted176373]

I dont hate the phrase either, and Alaskans sound nothing like her, I am still amazed at how she sounds... I am pretty sure its all fake, as fake as her.... hearing her talk does to me what nails on a chalkboard does to people

Wow, do you feel that way about most conservative leaning women (Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingle, etc.) or is it just Sarah Palin? You must hate Tina Fey!

Mark

 

[krisrox]

So many things to address...

1. Sarah Palin is from Minnesota, but moved to Alakska. That's why her accent is the way it is.
2. I'm a born and raised Chicagoan and I say "you betcha" without any hesitation.
3. I'm scared sh*tless to move out of my hometown and start my grad school life.

 

[TenaciousGirl]

I love how this thread veered off course and into politics.

I think a lot of people experience the realization of, "uh oh, now I'm really going to do this..." or something like that. One of the best things you can do is to take it one step at a time and get yourself connected with your new cohorts. Some of them might be relocating, too. Get into some study groups and focus on getting yourself set up at your new school because the second semester will most likely go into hyperdrive. When I first started my program I missed my friends and family back home but now I find time flying by. Before I know it, Thanksgiving will be here again and it will be time for me to go back home. Good luck to you and congrats on accomplishing something that many people don't.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I love how this thread veered off course and into politics.

I think a lot of people experience the realization of, "uh oh, now I'm really going to do this..." or something like that. One of the best things you can do is to take it one step at a time and get yourself connected with your new cohorts. Some of them might be relocating, too. Get into some study groups and focus on getting yourself set up at your new school because the second semester will most likely go into hyperdrive. When I first started my program I missed my friends and family back home but now I find time flying by. Before I know it, Thanksgiving will be here again and it will be time for me to go back home. Good luck to you and congrats on accomplishing something that many people don't.

This. Go ahead and start trying to get in touch with some entering students now (especially those who'll be under the same adviser as you). In my experience, the vast majority of graduate students attend school in a new state (or at least a new city), so they'll likely be feeling just as bewildered and overwhelmed as you. Hanging out with the other people who came in with my cohort definitely made the first few years of grad school much more enjoyable.

 

[KillerDiller]

Wow, do you feel that way about most conservative leaning women (Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingle, etc.) or is it just Sarah Palin? You must hate Tina Fey!

Mark

I think you have it backwards. Don't most people who hate Sarah Palin love Tina Fey? I know I do.

 

[psybee]

I've accepted an offer from one of my top choices, yay! But now I'm starting to get scared. What if the new city/state/region isn't enjoyable? What if I miss my family and friends too much? What if the program doesn't fulfill my expectations?

Maybe its just a case of cold feet or the natural "down" period that comes after a hard won victory. Anybody else coming down off the "I got accepted high?"

like others have said this is natural reaction and this is going to be a big change! some defensive pessimism is not surprising. but i think you're giving your program and environment a touch more power than they deserve--i'm hoping the program is as good as you must have felt during the interview, but a lot of what you get out of a program is what you put into it, and that's the same to a degree with a city or town. we all have preferences to a degree, but as wonderful as a city may be, we are he ones that find the fun and excitement in it and choose to enjoy it--if you bring the fun with you, the interested, engaging part of yourself, you'll definitely get something out of wherever you are moving!

 

[InnerChild]

Absolutely!!!

I've definitely already entered imposter-syndrome-mode and am fretting about whether or not I'll be able to hack it, if I'll be able to be the kind of student they're expecting me to be, and so on. But just as someone above said... we managed to get in despite steep competition. That absolutely means something... we're heading into this crazy new world for a reason, we totally deserve to be there, and I trust that we'll surprise ourselves with our accomplishments and abilities. That (or a shortened version of it!) will be my mantra for the next handful of months...

I'm also moving 1500+ miles away from my family, to a part of the country I have zero familiarity with, so that's definitely anxiety-producing. But I'm headed to my top choice school and I'm beyond ecstatic to discover all of the research awesome that will result from working with my fabulous new mentor. Despite any hesitation about leaving my family behind, I know that, while challenging, this is going to be an absolutely amazing journey. Terrifying and overwhelming? You betcha. But what's better than jumping into a brand new life where you get to be immersed in the subject you're most passionate about? I'm really, really scared but also SO excited to see where this takes me....

EXACT same boat - but couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[Jezebel09]

So many things to address...

1. Sarah Palin is from Minnesota, but moved to Alakska. That's why her accent is the way it is.
.

Palin was born in Idaho and raised in Alaska. Thus, her accent is an inexplicable mystery to me.

 

[AlaskanJustin]

Wow, do you feel that way about most conservative leaning women (Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingle, etc.) or is it just Sarah Palin? You must hate Tina Fey!

Mark

yeah love Tina Fey, hate Palin, fortunately left the state before she came into (and now out of) office... I dont mind other conservative females (or males for that matter) assuming they at least have some logic/reasoning in what they say and have their own original thoughts, which Palin lacks...

 

[AlaskanJustin]

Absolutely!!!

I've definitely already entered imposter-syndrome-mode and am fretting about whether or not I'll be able to hack it, if I'll be able to be the kind of student they're expecting me to be, and so on. But just as someone above said... we managed to get in despite steep competition. That absolutely means something... we're heading into this crazy new world for a reason, we totally deserve to be there, and I trust that we'll surprise ourselves with our accomplishments and abilities. That (or a shortened version of it!) will be my mantra for the next handful of months...

I'm also moving 1500+ miles away from my family, to a part of the country I have zero familiarity with, so that's definitely anxiety-producing. But I'm headed to my top choice school and I'm beyond ecstatic to discover all of the research awesome that will result from working with my fabulous new mentor. Despite any hesitation about leaving my family behind, I know that, while challenging, this is going to be an absolutely amazing journey. Terrifying and overwhelming? You betcha. But what's better than jumping into a brand new life where you get to be immersed in the subject you're most passionate about? I'm really, really scared but also SO excited to see where this takes me....

When I moved from Anchorage I moved ~4200 miles away from a predominantly caucasian to a predominantly african-american population... and I was absolutely miserable for the first few months, most likely due to shell-shock/culture-shock of sorts. Then I got my **** together, and I thoroughly miss that city i moved too! I know it seems shocking but we ARE all basically human and follow similar patterns of thought/behavior...