Coming out in secondaries—diversity essay?

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[Seikuken]

I know it's been asked before, but I wanted to know what people think about coming out within secondary applications. I've written a generalized 'diversity' essay; would someone be willing to provide feedback? For the record, I'm a white 21y/o male from a middle class background, so there's also that struggle to make myself seem special.

I've asked this question on Reddit as well and I've received mixed feedback. Some people say go for it while others suggest only coming out as necessary, so as not to jeopardize my chances at a given school. The flip side to that argument is that if a school isn't supportive of who you inherently are, why would you want to go there? Ideally, I'd love to be at a school that supports my being gay, but getting in somewhere is more important to me. Obviously, I can choose which schools to come out to, but none of the places that I'm applying to appear to be particularly conservative, by my best guess.

What are your thoughts on:

• Including it in "diversity" prompts?
• Modifying it slightly and including it in "adversity" prompts?
• What to do if a school asks a diversity and adversity question?
• Including it for schools that don't ask a diversity question in the "additional comments" essay?

I included it in the diversity prompts. I wouldn’t include it in adversity prompts since I feel like those are geared toward SES hardships and overcoming significant obstacles. It’s a different story if you were kicked out/lost financial support as a result of your sexuality... then go for the adversity prompts as well.

As for additional comments, it’s up to you. I came out in my secondaries since I applied to pretty liberal areas like NYC.

 

[otterxavier]

It's totally appropriate to write about being gay in your diversity essay. Whether it's a good fit for "adversity" prompts depends, I guess, on what your specific experiences have been, and whether you've faced other forms of adversity that may make for a more compelling essay. If a school asks a "diversity" question and an "adversity" qustion, it's better to come up with separate topics for each essay.

You've already explicitly acknowledged the fundamental dilemma of being out on your applications: would you rather attend a medical school that wouldn't have accepted you if they knew that you're gay, or not get into medical school at all? That said, I think that in reality it's unlikely to come down to that. LGBQ med students have enough mainstream visibility and support that I'd wager that being out in your applications is unlikely to backfire on you, except at schools that are notably conservative. (It's a different story for trans applicants.) If someone does end up without any med school acceptances at all, the fact that they wrote about being gay in their application was probably not the reason.

That said, if you want to get a quick sense of how a school might respond to a gay applicant, you can look at the phrasing of their diversity essay prompts (a lot of them specifically mention sexual orientation), look for a diversity or non-discrimination statement on their website, or see if there's a diversity office or LGBTQ student group that can put you in touch with a current student.

Fwiw, I came out in all of my secondaries because I knew that I didn't want to be at a school where I wouldn't be welcomed. Almost all of my interviewers brought it up (respectfully) in conversation, so do be prepared for that if you decide to come out in an essay. It didn't seem to have any negative impact on where I got accepted.

 

[joeschmoejohndoe]

I also mentioned it in the diversity prompts for my application and I'm glad that I did. It took away the uncertainty of how to deal with it during interviews because it was already in my application. I think what you have to get at is how you being gay will contribute to the class as a whole. I wrote about how the self acceptance and coming out experience impacted who I was as a person/how I interact with other people. What you have to do is be able to tell a compelling story about how it has impacted your life and why that will be beneficial for you, the school, and your future career.

 

[ExcitatorySynapse]

Sorry to hijack, but do you think it's worth mentioning if you weren't involved in a lot of LGBT activities in undergrad? Very briefly, I was involved in a type of mentorship program my freshman year but after a tragic event in the community, I decided to stay away.

By any standard, I think I've had a number of challenges that I don't really want to discuss, but this has been one of the toughest things in my life. I grew up in a pretty conservative, asian immigrant family and they don't really take it seriously. I had no idea that it even was a thing until I realized that my feelings were not platonic and even then I went in circles for two years and told myself that I was doing it for attention, while in college in NYC! I don't want to "milk" it, because I genuinely feel that I am like any other aspiring physician scientist in most ways, but differ in my sexual orientation, but at the same time, I do think that it's made me very conscious of the issues that marginalized communities face.

 

[otterxavier]

Sorry to hijack, but do you think it's worth mentioning if you weren't involved in a lot of LGBT activities in undergrad? Very briefly, I was involved in a type of mentorship program my freshman year but after a tragic event in the community, I decided to stay away.

By any standard, I think I've had a number of challenges that I don't really want to discuss, but this has been one of the toughest things in my life. I grew up in a pretty conservative, asian immigrant family and they don't really take it seriously. I had no idea that it even was a thing until I realized that my feelings were not platonic and even then I went in circles for two years and told myself that I was doing it for attention, while in college in NYC! I don't want to "milk" it, because I genuinely feel that I am like any other aspiring physician scientist in most ways, but differ in my sexual orientation, but at the same time, I do think that it's made me very conscious of the issues that marginalized communities face.

If it's had a significant impact on your life and perspective -- and it sounds like it has -- then yeah, I think it's something that you can meaningfully bring up on your application. Coming into your identity as part of a marginalized group can be a big part of who you are, even if it's not reflected in your undergrad extracurriculars.

 

[ExcitatorySynapse]

Thanks otterxavier, I really appreciate the reassurance, especially since it's not something I talk about regularly.