Writing about coming out in secondaries — things to consider?

[TabbyTuxy]

Hey all!

Pre-writing some common secondaries now. My coming out experience isn’t really talked about in my personal statement, but my identity as LGBTQ+ is clear in my involvements. As I was brainstorming the “challenge” secondary essays, I kept coming back to my family’s reaction when I came out to them. It was a really rough time for several years, but I ultimately think that it made me more resilient than anything else in my life. I have concrete examples of how this helped me grow and how I’ve used my new skills in my workplace, volunteering, and role as a mentor.

What should I be careful of mentioning in this type of essay? Some things I’ve considered:

- I don’t want to mention any specific political or religious beliefs of my family (very conservative Evangelicals) for fear of looking like I’m painting a whole group as bigots, because I don’t believe they all are.
- I don’t want to hyperfocus on me being gay, but on my resilience and lessons learned.

I won’t be applying to any schools with religious affiliations or that aren’t openly accepting of LGBTQ+ students.

Thank you for any insight!

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[tantacles]

I didn't mention my sexual orientation or interest in LGBTQ health explicitly in my personal statement, and there were only a few things in my work and activities section that gave me away. That being said, on my secondary essays I did center my "diversity question" essays around being gay. I kept things kind of vague and didn't usually bring up specifics, because I wanted to be cautious and not offend anyone while still providing a genuine answer. For certain schools that had a reputation for being more progressive, I went a little deeper. For schools that I felt it was more of a risk, I kept it more generic.

I think regardless of what challenge or characteristic you bring up in your essay, you should avoid saying anything judgmental about any specific group of people, focus on what positive things came out of that experience, and how those experiences will make you a better student and a better physician.

Here's an example of one of my more mild/generic responses to the diversity question for a school I was accepted to. I honestly don't think this specific response helped my application all that much, but it obviously didn't hurt it either:

I think this is a great way to approach the question that avoids making overt judgments about other groups. In all honesty, OP, the reason that your parents don't accept your sexual orientation isn't as important as the lesson you took away from it and your ability to grow and serve patients more effectively because of it.

 

[deleted972488]

I briefly mentioned how my LGBT+ identity created conflict with my conservative Christian upbringing in some secondaries and I don’t think it comes off as overly judgmental to state something like that. It is true, it was challenging, and we learned from it.

 

[Icebird]

My entire personal statement was centered around coming out and coming to terms with the fact that as much as I want being gay to be just a tiny detail on the plenthora of traits that compose my identity, my experiences with the world and with my own self have been very different had I otherwise been straight and therefore have impacted my outlook on life.

I angled it towards the need for LGBT+ diversity in medicine and discussion in regards to different issues of public health in the community: PREP, HIV/AIDS, mental health, etc.

As long as you are authentic and comfortable in your experiences and explaining how it will help you be a better physician disclose as much or as little as you want.

I’ve had multiple interviewers praise the PS and discuss how I’ve been one of the few people that comes out to the reader in the PS in sharp contrast to how things were when they applied to med school.


EDIT: misread post for primary; same should apply for secondary. Can still apply to challenge/diversity prompts

 

[habibimarwan]

I think it's good to be open about it. I think if it is important to you, and it defines why you want to be doctor, then you should include. But remember that many others have been in same situation. Be about you and your decision to be doctor, admissions wants to see truth and authenticity.

 

[TabbyTuxy]

Hey all, just wanted to circle back for any future readers and say that I decided to come out both in my PS and in at least one secondary essay per school (sometimes diversity, but more often challenge essays). I currently have 4 interviews as of Sept 1., all from schools where I was extremely, extremely forthcoming about my LGBTQ+ identity -- and while none were religious schools, they also ranged in location and progressive "vibe," from a southern school, to a Midwestern one, and two on the east coast.

My focus was less on "I'm gay, so I'm diverse and resilient" and more on the ways my membership in a marginalized community allows me to connect with a huge range of people who may be different from myself. With health equity getting more and more time in the spotlight, I think schools are especially interested in welcoming LGBTQ+ students. Happy to respond to any PM's about what might work best for each individual applicant, and how out to be!

 

[tantacles]

Hey all, just wanted to circle back for any future readers and say that I decided to come out both in my PS and in at least one secondary essay per school (sometimes diversity, but more often challenge essays). I currently have 4 interviews as of Sept 1., all from schools where I was extremely, extremely forthcoming about my LGBTQ+ identity -- and while none were religious schools, they also ranged in location and progressive "vibe," from a southern school, to a Midwestern one, and two on the east coast.

My focus was less on "I'm gay, so I'm diverse and resilient" and more on the ways my membership in a marginalized community allows me to connect with a huge range of people who may be different from myself. With health equity getting more and more time in the spotlight, I think schools are especially interested in welcoming LGBTQ+ students. Happy to respond to any PM's about what might work best for each individual applicant, and how out to be!

You did this the right way. Congratulations on your success so far, and I hope that things continue to go well. Thanks for the insightful post and the important update.

 

[TragicalDrFaust]

Hey all, just wanted to circle back for any future readers and say that I decided to come out both in my PS and in at least one secondary essay per school (sometimes diversity, but more often challenge essays). I currently have 4 interviews as of Sept 1., all from schools where I was extremely, extremely forthcoming about my LGBTQ+ identity -- and while none were religious schools, they also ranged in location and progressive "vibe," from a southern school, to a Midwestern one, and two on the east coast.

My focus was less on "I'm gay, so I'm diverse and resilient" and more on the ways my membership in a marginalized community allows me to connect with a huge range of people who may be different from myself. With health equity getting more and more time in the spotlight, I think schools are especially interested in welcoming LGBTQ+ students. Happy to respond to any PM's about what might work best for each individual applicant, and how out to be!

Great approach! It's so important to connect being LGBTQ with how that's taught us to connect with people from many backgrounds. I've seen too many people fumble this one and make it sound like they are only able to empathize with struggles in the queer community.