comments on my personal statement

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Deepa100

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I structured mine in chronological order of my life, how my decision to go to med school is influenced by different events at different points. My reviewer at my local U says it is the wrong way to go about it. She says, I should be less personal and emphasize more on how I can be a good student, how I can compete and then why I will make a good doctor.

Should I rework my entire essay based on this? I am kinda' getting tired of writing this...

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I think something personal will strike the hearts of admissions committees a little more. It depends on what your story is as well. But being less personal, talking about how you're a good student, how you can compete, those are all things that seem pretty dry to me.

It seems like your essay has many different events that led up to your decision to go to med school, and you might want to condense that down to a couple very important events. Again it depends on your life story.

If you'd like I can read over what you have so far and give you some comments. Just PM me with your essay.

Good luck!
 
I structured mine in chronological order of my life, how my decision to go to med school is influenced by different events at different points. My reviewer at my local U says it is the wrong way to go about it. She says, I should be less personal and emphasize more on how I can be a good student, how I can compete and then why I will make a good doctor.

Should I rework my entire essay based on this? I am kinda' getting tired of writing this...

I think the above advice is good. I don't think an impersonal essay will help you set yourself apart. You can convey why you will be a good student, compete and make a good doctor alongside the motivational stories. I did get advice not to make it chronological order. I'm also happy to read it if you'd like to PM it to me.
 
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I structured mine in chronological order of my life, how my decision to go to med school is influenced by different events at different points. My reviewer at my local U says it is the wrong way to go about it. She says, I should be less personal and emphasize more on how I can be a good student, how I can compete and then why I will make a good doctor.

Should I rework my entire essay based on this? I am kinda' getting tired of writing this...

I think it should be personal, but also emphasize how you will be a good student and doctor. Don't just state, "I've always done well in school", but maybe talk about how certain experiences have shaped your decision and how these will motivate you to excel.
 
Unless what you're writing "about you" is dull and a drag to read, I wouldn't rewrite. It's called a Personal Statement for a reason- it's supposed to be about you. That said, make sure that it does show that it shows how you can be a good student and compete as a good doctor-- using the ol' "show, don't tell" strategy.

At the end of it, you absolutely want you PS to stand out. Making it personal and interesting while addressing why you want to and what will make you a good doctor are some ways to do it.

Best of luck.
 
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