Competitive stats but socially awkward .. how to improve?

[tqtraq]

So as many of you may know, becoming a doctor requires you to be well rounded socially and academically. I feel like I have competitive stats for medical school, but I am really lacking social skills and you can consider me 'socially awkward.' I am trying to improve my social skills everyday by trying to engage in several conversations with friends or lab members but I still feel like I am awkward when conversing with them. I think a large reason for me to being awkward around my peers is due to stress over the years causing me to have social anxiety. I just seem to not be myself when I'm around my peers i.e. can't think clearly when around peers but when I'm alone I can. I have one and a half years left until I apply to medical schools and for the time being, I hope that I can improve myself by becoming more outgoing. But really, what is the best way to overcome this social anxiety/awkwardness?

For reference, I am somewhat less awkward than this kid in the video even though it's pretty bad :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvYvhQvbDz8
Perhaps watch first 2 minutes or so.

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[coolingglasses]

So as many of you may know, becoming a doctor requires you to be well rounded socially and academically. I feel like I have competitive stats for medical school, but I am really lacking social skills and you can consider me 'socially awkward.' I am trying to improve my social skills everyday by trying to engage in several conversations with friends or lab members but I still feel like I am awkward when conversing with them. I think a large reason for me to being awkward around my peers is due to stress over the years causing me to have social anxiety. I just seem to not be myself when I'm around my peers i.e. can't think clearly when around peers but when I'm alone I can. I have one and a half years left until I apply to medical schools and for the time being, I hope that I can improve myself by becoming more outgoing. But really, what is the best way to overcome this social anxiety/awkwardness?

For reference, I am somewhat less awkward than this kid in the video even though it's pretty bad :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvYvhQvbDz8
Perhaps watch first 2 minutes or so.

I can't watch the video right now, but as someone who went through what you describe in college, my advice to you is to join some clubs that get you to be social. It worked for a lot of my friends. Stuff like swing dancing or rec sports.

Or you can do what I did and find the people around you that are out on weekends. I enjoy social drinking though, and I'm reluctant to recommend that someone take up drinking. I suppose you don't have to drink while you're out.

Regardless, your goal should be to feel comfortable/confident being yourself around people. It takes practice and time.

 

[littlegreen88]

I would also suggest therapy . Sometimes speaking to someone you dont know can make you realize the reason for the anxiety and ways to battle against it, for
Example CBT is a great way to work through issues like social anxiety and other types of anxiety. Often Colleges have free therapy sessions if you make an appointment.
Good luck !

 

[psychgirrrl]

I would also suggest therapy . Sometimes speaking to someone you dont know can make you realize the reason for the anxiety and ways to battle against it, for
Example CBT is a great way to work through issues like social anxiety and other types of anxiety. Often Colleges have free therapy sessions if you make an appointment.
Good luck !

Agreed, I would suggest therapy. College campuses often have great therapists that are highly trained on how to help students improve social anxiety.

 

[as1212559]

Therapy. You can work on it on your own of course, but a professional would be best to start seeing. This will be a red flag if it remains uncorrected by the time you are offered interviews.

 

[hallowmann]

...For reference, I am somewhat less awkward than this kid in the video even though it's pretty bad :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvYvhQvbDz8
Perhaps watch first 2 minutes or so.

By as socially awkward as that individual, do you mean in terms of the content or how he says it. I don't know, maybe I just went to school with a lot of socially awkward individuals, but he just seemed nervous. What he was saying though was kind of crazy for an interview.

I would do what coolingglasses mentioned and put yourself into situations that force you to be social. While I wouldn't recommend going out and drinking (I mean its not like you would show up to an interview tipsy), you could do sports, join socially interactive clubs, etc. The lab isn't the most conducive place to be social, so other/new experiences might help.

In addition, if we are talking about clinical social anxiety, then therapy is a good option, but based on your own description, I don't know if I could call it that. Many people aren't comfortable in social settings, and become nervous in settings they aren't familiar with, but usually that is easily solved by simply being in more social settings. Now if you get panic attacks or precursors at the idea of social interactions, that is something to get external help for.

 

[Goro]

Take some acting, drama or debate classes. Try to get air time on the college radio or TV stations. Force yourself to be in groups of people when you have to actually address them. And concur with therapy. Your school has to have a counseling service, so utilize it.

It's a good thing you're aware of this problem and are being proactive, because if left unsolved, you'll bomb your interviews.

So as many of you may know, becoming a doctor requires you to be well rounded socially and academically. I feel like I have competitive stats for medical school, but I am really lacking social skills and you can consider me 'socially awkward.' I am trying to improve my social skills everyday by trying to engage in several conversations with friends or lab members but I still feel like I am awkward when conversing with them. I think a large reason for me to being awkward around my peers is due to stress over the years causing me to have social anxiety. I just seem to not be myself when I'm around my peers i.e. can't think clearly when around peers but when I'm alone I can. I have one and a half years left until I apply to medical schools and for the time being, I hope that I can improve myself by becoming more outgoing. But really, what is the best way to overcome this social anxiety/awkwardness?

For reference, I am somewhat less awkward than this kid in the video even though it's pretty bad :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvYvhQvbDz8
Perhaps watch first 2 minutes or so.

 

[pathologyDO]

There are also a lot of "how-to's" and books out there on how to improve social skills. One thing I recommend you try doing, is try to focus less on yourself and more on the other people when having conversations. If you show others attention then they will like you far more than someone who is a social butterfly but doesn't pay any attention (and in the process you will stop being so anxious about yourself, since you turn your attention outward)

 

[987321]

how good are your stats? cause maybe if you have like, 3.5/30 + maybe schools wont really care. I mean in all fairness, many many DO schools struggle to find decent applicants and end up accepting people with like 3.2/24 and 3.3/23. so if your stats are really high, hopefully the schools will be impressed to the point that it wont matter.

either way good luck !

 

[tqtraq]

I was also thinking of seeking for professional help because I think my social anxiety is pretty bad. I would tend to get tired around social interactions allowing me to not freely express myself around my peers i.e. monotone voice little face expression. I never was like this until I came to college. But do you guys think I should seek help from the school's counseling office or should I schedule an appointment with my pcp and perhaps be referred to a psychiatrist or something.

 

[NontradCA]

It's whichever makes you comfortable. We're not supposed to give you that sort of advice. Sounds like you should see someone though.

 

[NontradCA]

how good are your stats? cause maybe if you have like, 3.5/30 + maybe schools wont really care. I mean in all fairness, many many DO schools struggle to find decent applicants and end up accepting people with like 3.2/24 and 3.3/23. so if your stats are really high, hopefully the schools will be impressed to the point that it wont matter.

either way good luck !

Don't listen to this, it's a troll.

 

[Jwalker]

Sing in the car and shower. It helps!

 

[NeuroLAX]

I concur with clubs/organizations/intramural sports as well as CBT/exposure therapy. Highly recommend therapy to help you understand your feelings and ways to challenge/overcome them.

 

[survivordo]

Clubs. We had some VERY socially awkward people in some of the clubs I was in during college, it was nice to see them open up. In all honesty, you just gotta find a way to work it for a half hour med school interview to get in!

Survivor DO

 

[mouthwash4hobo]

So as many of you may know, becoming a doctor requires you to be well rounded socially and academically. I feel like I have competitive stats for medical school, but I am really lacking social skills and you can consider me 'socially awkward.' I am trying to improve my social skills everyday by trying to engage in several conversations with friends or lab members but I still feel like I am awkward when conversing with them. I think a large reason for me to being awkward around my peers is due to stress over the years causing me to have social anxiety. I just seem to not be myself when I'm around my peers i.e. can't think clearly when around peers but when I'm alone I can. I have one and a half years left until I apply to medical schools and for the time being, I hope that I can improve myself by becoming more outgoing. But really, what is the best way to overcome this social anxiety/awkwardness?

For reference, I am somewhat less awkward than this kid in the video even though it's pretty bad :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvYvhQvbDz8
Perhaps watch first 2 minutes or so.

I can relate to this. All my life I've been shy and during my late teens to early twenties it turned into social anxiety. It was hard to have conversations with others because my mind was looking from the outward - in rather than staying focused on the conversation and the other person.

To be honest, what helped most, in cases of severe social anxiety - a dr. might recommend starting out on a low dose antidepressant. Citalopram happened to work wonders for me. It is also helpful to talk out scenarios with a therapist to understand what it might be about that given situation that is making you anxious.

You will overcome this, it takes time and practice. There are still times when I'm uncomfortable in social situations, but the Citalopram takes the edge off. Instead of feeling all of those physiological symptoms (sweating/heart racing/blushing), your mind is simply aware that you are nervous, but you can still manage to get through the conversation and stay focused on the other person.

 

[KnuxNole]

Lol...well on the bright side, if that kid got in, so can YOU 😛

Constant exposure helps. Start small and build up. When you feel comfortable interacting with one person, move on to a small group, etc. Also, it helps to not focus on how others would view you. Being overly nervous can stiffen you up, which might not resonate well with others.

 

[Goro]

Don't even think that for a second! We've rejected people with 4.0 GPAs and/or MCATs of 4.0. I'd rather have a student who's a human being with a 3.2/24 than a 4.0 automaton.

how good are your stats? cause maybe if you have like, 3.5/30 + maybe schools wont really care. I mean in all fairness, many many DO schools struggle to find decent applicants and end up accepting people with like 3.2/24 and 3.3/23. so if your stats are really high, hopefully the schools will be impressed to the point that it wont matter.

either way good luck !

 

[987321]

Don't even think that for a second! We've rejected people with 4.0 GPAs and/or MCATs of 4.0. I'd rather have a student who's a human being with a 3.2/24 than a 4.0 automaton.

fair enough. hopefully most schools arent like this

😳

 

[se20001984]

stop studying and go have 5 beers,

then repeat with 10 the next night...

 

[LaughingMan]

stop studying and go have 5 beers,

then repeat with 10 the next night...

lol, just be sure to not "need" alcohol to be sociable. Showing up to your interview tipsy won't be well received 😉😉

 

[HalfListic]

fair enough. hopefully most schools arent like this

😳

Most schools are like that...

That doesnt mean that every 4.0/high MCAT applicant is a Robot, many aren't. It means that if there are two applicants, one with a 4.0 but is a complete tool and one with lower stats, but is an inspiring human being, its not difficult to see which one they would pick.

Stats get you interview, interview gets you accepted. (or not rejected, depending on how you look at it and how late in the season it is)

 

[Didierdrogba]

Honestly, I was socially awkward as hell, but I had decent stats, and I was able to act for a few hours (as can most socially awkward people) during my interview, and I got in. Just remember, silence is gold if whatever coming out of your mouth is going to be unwholesome.

 

[maybemed2013]

I was socially awkward and become a CNA, because of the nature of the job your social skills will increase.

If you have a CNA exam prep course near you I would do it, the exam prep course can be done in 3 days but the full course is about 3-6 months.

 

[angldrps]

that video.....so cringe worthy!
OP, check out the interview feedback section and rehearse answering those questions in front of a mirror, with a family member/friend, on video and work on your weaknesses. Do this multiple times until you are fully comfortable with answering common interview questions. I went through pretty much every single question posted by past interviewees and with the exception of few questions, most of my interview questions were from the list I had already practiced with. I don't have social anxiety, but I was a nervous wreck during my very first interview and having an idea of what kind of questions I am likely to be asked ahead of time helped tremendously. Good luck!

 

[DC1987]

Medical school is full of socially awkward people. But since most people are socially awkward you don't notice it as much. And there are tons of doctors who are good at what they do but have terrible bed side manner.

 

[TXKnight]

So as many of you may know, becoming a doctor requires you to be well rounded socially and academically. I feel like I have competitive stats for medical school, but I am really lacking social skills and you can consider me 'socially awkward.' I am trying to improve my social skills everyday by trying to engage in several conversations with friends or lab members but I still feel like I am awkward when conversing with them. I think a large reason for me to being awkward around my peers is due to stress over the years causing me to have social anxiety. I just seem to not be myself when I'm around my peers i.e. can't think clearly when around peers but when I'm alone I can. I have one and a half years left until I apply to medical schools and for the time being, I hope that I can improve myself by becoming more outgoing. But really, what is the best way to overcome this social anxiety/awkwardness?

For reference, I am somewhat less awkward than this kid in the video even though it's pretty bad :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvYvhQvbDz8
Perhaps watch first 2 minutes or so.

Plenty of good advise here. I would add try joining a Toastmasters club in your area/college.

 

[GUH]

how good are your stats? cause maybe if you have like, 3.5/30 + maybe schools wont really care. I mean in all fairness, many many DO schools struggle to find decent applicants and end up accepting people with like 3.2/24 and 3.3/23. so if your stats are really high, hopefully the schools will be impressed to the point that it wont matter.

either way good luck !

join date: April 2013

post count as of right now: 9

 

[Dr.TurkandJD]

Don't even think that for a second! We've rejected people with 4.0 GPAs and/or MCATs of 4.0. I'd rather have a student who's a human being with a 3.2/24 than a 4.0 automaton.

👍👍👍 I love you goro!

I was also thinking of seeking for professional help because I think my social anxiety is pretty bad. I would tend to get tired around social interactions allowing me to not freely express myself around my peers i.e. monotone voice little face expression. I never was like this until I came to college. But do you guys think I should seek help from the school's counseling office or should I schedule an appointment with my pcp and perhaps be referred to a psychiatrist or something.

Where are you from?

 

[TriagePreMed]

I'm really not a fan of attempting to turn an introvert to an extrovert. You don't have to be this highly social person. You just need to be able to talk to patients in a professional setting, which is not something that having a bunch of friends will help with. Some acting classes to make it through the interview could help you a lot. Some CBT would be greatly beneficial to the social anxiety.

 

[NurWollen]

Honestly, I was socially awkward as hell, but I had decent stats, and I was able to act for a few hours (as can most socially awkward people) during my interview, and I got in. Just remember, silence is gold if whatever coming out of your mouth is going to be unwholesome.

Haha... I have thought this about myself so many times!! I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who feels like this.

 

[nysegop]

fair enough. hopefully most schools arent like this

😳

Most schools are like that. The person you replied to, by the way, is actually a faculty member at a medical school. So she/he knows best.

 

[NoRegret]

I'm like that too. Find something you're passionate about, and form a club, or join an organization.

 

[playaodamonth]

join date: April 2013

post count as of right now: 9

LOL

 

[coolingglasses]

I'm really not a fan of attempting to turn an introvert to an extrovert. You don't have to be this highly social person. You just need to be able to talk to patients in a professional setting, which is not something that having a bunch of friends will help with. Some acting classes to make it through the interview could help you a lot. Some CBT would be greatly beneficial to the social anxiety.

Of course not. But I'm all for someone taking their life in the direction they want to go. He can still be an introvert (something I believe I've always been) and break his social anxiety, which it sounds like he is quite interested in doing.

 

[hallowmann]

Haha... I have thought this about myself so many times!! I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who feels like this.

I know right? Think that about myself all the time.

I'm really not a fan of attempting to turn an introvert to an extrovert. You don't have to be this highly social person. You just need to be able to talk to patients in a professional setting, which is not something that having a bunch of friends will help with. Some acting classes to make it through the interview could help you a lot. Some CBT would be greatly beneficial to the social anxiety.

The issue isn't the fact that OP's an introvert vs. extrovert, its that OP has social anxiety and becomes very uncomfortable in social settings. An introvert and a socially anxious person are two completely different things. For example an introvert might be comfortable in social setting, but just not like/prefer them, and a socially anxious person could want to be really social, but simply not be able to be due to the anxiety.

In any case, this is about getting over the anxiety to be able to function in social settings, not to be converted to an extrovert.

 

[tqtraq]

I know right? Think that about myself all the time.



The issue isn't the fact that OP's an introvert vs. extrovert, its that OP has social anxiety and becomes very uncomfortable in social settings. An introvert and a socially anxious person are two completely different things. For example an introvert might be comfortable in social setting, but just not like/prefer them, and a socially anxious person could want to be really social, but simply not be able to be due to the anxiety.

In any case, this is about getting over the anxiety to be able to function in social settings, not to be converted to an extrovert.

Right. This thread is mostly addressing my social anxiety, however even without the social anxiety, I still think that I would be awkward in social situations. So what I'm really trying to overcome is this social anxiety AND awkwardness. But maybe being awkward is a part of my personality? Then again, like most of you have said, being part of different organizations would help me become this less awkward person so I'll definitely try being more outgoing. I'm trying to look for a long term solution where I can be comfortable with people .. not just to get pass the interview phase.