Fear not ruby. You're an intern. You aren't going to be perfect. I would say it takes about 12-14 months to really get into the "EM" mindset.
That being said, halfway through my internship, I told my PD at my six month eval, that I didn't think I had what it takes to be into EM. That I didn't think I was learning enough, and that my peers were far better than I.
My PD told me that he felt the same way when he was in my shoes.
Some interns are better than others. But by the time PGY3 rolls around, most people have caught up to each other.
That being said, it is very hard for most attendings to give "true" evals face to face with people.
When I was chief last year, we used to give evals to the rotating students. At the beginning of the year, we would just give all "10s" to the students. yeah yeah, you're doing a good job, just read up on all the patients you saw, was basically what most of us put. Then our PD said to us: "Listen, you're doing them a disservice. Do you really think that the M3s and M4s that rotaete with us are all "ABOVE EXCELLENT and FAR SUPERIOR?" It doesn't really HELP anyone by just filling in an eval and saying they're doing fine (and of couse, behind their back talking about how not superior they are). Since then, I have given TRUE evaluations. I have given many of my current EM interns "average" scores. And even given constructive feedback. Most of the interns who are having some difficulty get evals such as:
Confidence Issues
Has a hard time seeing the "big picture"
Unthorough physical exams
Widen your differential
Need to see more patients
Need to work on your rapport
Fear not. You still have PLENTY of time!
Q