Craziest Patient Comments

[Tender2TheTouch]

For a little comedic relief these holidays, I pose a question: What's the craziest/most sexist/most racist comment you ever heard a patient say?

My answer: I had a patient ask to an Indian friend who was a 3rd generation citizen "so where did you migrate from? you can't be Indian because you don't have the dot."

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[smq123]

I had a nursing home patient that I saw a few times. On my second visit, I asked her if she remembered me. She said she did, because she remembered having a doctor with "chinky eyes."

<sigh>

 

[cabinbuilder]

I had a patient who came in for back pain and I offered to do back manipulation on him to try to realign some of his issues. I swear if there had been a tape recorder you would have thought we were making a porno movie or something the way he was moaning and groaning and feeling just soo good.

anyhow, after I was finished the patient tells me that was better than the best sex he ever had!!

Wow, aim to please I guess. hahahaha

 

[penguinophile]

Me - "Sir, do you know where you are?"
Pt - "A hospital"
Me - "Ok, good enough. Do you know what year it is?"
Pt - *blank look*
Me - "Do you know who the president is?"
Pt - "Yeah. That damned N*****"
Me - "mmmk, what about the president before him?"
Pt - "Dubya"

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

Me - "Do you know who the president is?"
Pt - "Yeah. That damned N*****"
Me - "mmmk, what about the president before him?"
Pt - "Dubya"

Working at the VA I found this was generally the standard answer, not the crazy exception.

 

[Grace34]

I had an observer with me one day, a lady from the middle east who had her head covered. The next morning when rounding one of the patients asked me "Where is that nun you had with you yesterday?"