crush on clinical instructor

[rightasrain100]

Hey guys,

this may be off topic, but I just got out of a LTR and have a crush on my clinical instructor. I am 28 and he is probably ten years older than I am and not married. I thought he liked me too, because he stared at me many times. I showed off my intelligence in class also, which I'm sure he liked. And he always helps my group, which is like a quiet group so its not an obvious group to gravitate to. However, the skills he helped me with were like impersonal, such as an intake interview or eye chart. When we had to do a skill where you get really close to your partner and stare in their eyes he walked up to me to do it then turned on his heal to help someone else. I was a little insulted. Did he do this because he is attracted to me and it would be uncomfortable? Or did he just suddenly decide he didn't like me anymore.
My group noticed and were like "that was weird". However, he is a pretty flirty guy so I don't see why this would make him uncomfortable. The class is mostly female and he flirts quite a bit. So why diss me?

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[SunsFun]

Maybe you should just talk to him in private about this?

 

[JaneMarie23]

and what if she's wrong? its very tricky.

 

[rightasrain100]

It was insulting that he did that. Cause my group saw! Like there's something wrong w. me. Not professional.He spent the first half of class with my group doing one skill, then when this more intimate skill came up he walked up to me then turned on his heal and helped these students in the back of the room! diss.It still stings. The only thing I can think is he likes me as more than a flirting partner so it was awkward to do this particular skill... either that or he's a freak and likes to look unprofessional.

 

[JaneMarie23]

Or he's one of those guys who attracts a lot of attention and likes to mess with his students 😛

 

[rightasrain100]

honestly he's a newbie in the school and the head of the program teaches this class with him. he's like her b---. so he just made himself look bad. and i never approached him, not once. he approached me.

 

[achieve1]

not sure if this is a joke topic...

 

[Gauss44]

Did he do this because he is attracted to me and it would be uncomfortable?...So why diss me?

The difference between "knowing" and "believing" comes into play here. You'll never "know." If you ask, and get a sincere answer, that's as close as you will ever come to knowing. If you are going to ask that, I would suggest waiting until you are no longer his student. I also want to make sure you know about the SDN Confidential Consult section in case you end up with any personal questions about this down the line that you don't want your username connected with: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/forumdisplay.php?f=268

 

[Gauss44]

It was insulting that he did that. Cause my group saw! Like there's something wrong w. me. Not professional.He spent the first half of class with my group doing one skill, then when this more intimate skill came up he walked up to me then turned on his heal and helped these students in the back of the room! diss.It still stings. The only thing I can think is he likes me as more than a flirting partner so it was awkward to do this particular skill... either that or he's a freak and likes to look unprofessional.

If I am understanding this correctly, your instructor may not have wanted your entire class to think he was flirting with you. He's may be concerned about accusations of flirting with or dating a student he teaches which might put him at risk of an ethics violation or school policy violation. (If you are familiar, I'm specifically thinking the potential of "quid pro quo" as a grader, which would be what the school would be concerned about.)

 

[rightasrain100]

I guess that's possible. But, he talks to many of his students in a flirty voice so I don't get why he would be opposed to giving the flirting impression with me in this moment, when he happily flirted with the group in the back when he did the skill with them. Perhaps cause there were several of them, so it seemed ok, as opposed to in my group he basically only pays attention to me so it would look more suspect. (my other two group members are serious students, older, not the flirting type).

 

[Gauss44]

I guess that's possible. But, he talks to many of his students in a flirty voice so I don't get why he would be opposed to giving the flirting impression with me in this moment, when he happily flirted with the group in the back when he did the skill with them. Perhaps cause there were several of them, so it seemed ok, as opposed to in my group he basically only pays attention to me so it would look more suspect. (my other two group members are serious students, older, not the flirting type).

Maybe he just has a flirty voice. Period. He might not even be aware of it.

 

[milski]

Look up the "things are getting pretty serious" meme. I think you are getting way ahead of yourself - there may be a lot more banal explanations about why he spends time explaining things to a group of students, like you know, that being his job? If you like him, it may be worth to talk to him after the class is over and you have your grade but try not to attribute every little thing he does to some sort of personal like/dislike.

 

[TriagePreMed]

You need to stop. It's obvious to me that this guy is interested in you, but he's also interested in keeping his job. Dating women in the workplace is very dangerous for a man. Anything goes wrong and it all falls on him and his career ends. If you're really interested in this guy, stop giving him attention so that he can move on from it.

Hey guys,

this may be off topic, but I just got out of a LTR and have a crush on my clinical instructor. I am 28 and he is probably ten years older than I am and not married. I thought he liked me too, because he stared at me many times. I showed off my intelligence in class also, which I'm sure he liked. And he always helps my group, which is like a quiet group so its not an obvious group to gravitate to. However, the skills he helped me with were like impersonal, such as an intake interview or eye chart. When we had to do a skill where you get really close to your partner and stare in their eyes he walked up to me to do it then turned on his heal to help someone else. I was a little insulted. Did he do this because he is attracted to me and it would be uncomfortable? Or did he just suddenly decide he didn't like me anymore.
My group noticed and were like "that was weird". However, he is a pretty flirty guy so I don't see why this would make him uncomfortable. The class is mostly female and he flirts quite a bit. So why diss me?

 

[pietachok]

It was insulting that he did that. Cause my group saw! Like there's something wrong w. me. Not professional.He spent the first half of class with my group doing one skill, then when this more intimate skill came up he walked up to me then turned on his heal and helped these students in the back of the room! diss.It still stings. The only thing I can think is he likes me as more than a flirting partner so it was awkward to do this particular skill... either that or he's a freak and likes to look unprofessional.

I think this has to be a troll, but in case it's not, I feel so bad for the instructor that I can't help but respond.

The only thing you can think is that he likes you?
Have you considered that the way you feel about him is obvious & he turned away, etc. to avoid interaction with someone who may misinterpret it? As someone who has previously taught, I would view you as a liability & avoid interactions with you that I worried you would misconstrue. IF this is not trolling, it is greatly concerning to me that you cannot understand that an instructor may initially focus attention on a particularly quiet group because he is concerned they are not engaged or sufficiently understanding the material.

 

[XY Nurse]

I agree with TriagePreMed.

Way I see it is that it's a conflict of interest. Sure, you may find him attractive, and maybe he does back, but if something were to arise from it, it may create problems in the workplace. I also say this through experience of working with two of my exes in their workplaces, and it became stressful dealing with workplace issues and such at home.

But this may not apply to your situation, as every relationship (if it were to make it to that level) is different.

 

[Goro]

Flirty with students? Good way to get fired.

Hey guys,

this may be off topic, but I just got out of a LTR and have a crush on my clinical instructor. I am 28 and he is probably ten years older than I am and not married. I thought he liked me too, because he stared at me many times. I showed off my intelligence in class also, which I'm sure he liked. And he always helps my group, which is like a quiet group so its not an obvious group to gravitate to. However, the skills he helped me with were like impersonal, such as an intake interview or eye chart. When we had to do a skill where you get really close to your partner and stare in their eyes he walked up to me to do it then turned on his heal to help someone else. I was a little insulted. Did he do this because he is attracted to me and it would be uncomfortable? Or did he just suddenly decide he didn't like me anymore.
My group noticed and were like "that was weird". However, he is a pretty flirty guy so I don't see why this would make him uncomfortable. The class is mostly female and he flirts quite a bit. So why diss me?

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

This guy sounds sketchy. Flirting with students while you teach them clinical exams and such sounds like a sure way to get fired.

 

[Plecopotamus]

This guy sounds sketchy. Flirting with students while you teach them clinical exams and such sounds like a sure way to get fired.

Not at all possible the OP is deluded and misinterpreting the signals of an instructor . . . who would be compromising his entire career by doing what she's saying he is?

 

[TriagePreMed]

Not at all possible the OP is deluded and misinterpreting the signals of an instructor . . . who would be compromising his entire career by doing what she's saying he is?

Well, senators and governors do, so this guy might. However, flirty is subjective and it sounds like he wants to back off before it gets real. OP should respect that.

 

[rightasrain100]

Flirty is like the way an older guy might talk to an attractive younger girl. Not overt. More just a silly tone of voice at times.

Also, I had class today, one of the girls from his flirting group thought he was in the lab by choice, not cause he is teaching!!! He teaches these girls in another class and she thought he was in the lab to be supportive of them, NOT BECAUSE ITS HIS JOB. That's delusional. The way it worked is there are two lab groups (one with the female teacher, one with him). This dumb ass girl is assigned to the female teacher, so when she saw him in the class she thought he was there to be supportive of his other class! When, they actually merged the two labs (Probably cause the female teacher knows what she's doing and he's just a pretty face).

Clueless.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

Not at all possible the OP is deluded and misinterpreting the signals of an instructor . . . who would be compromising his entire career by doing what she's saying he is?

Hmm, I would need to see pics of OP before I could make a final conclusion.

 

[Plecopotamus]

Hmm, I would need to see pics of OP before I could make a final conclusion.

I hope she has looks going for her, because writing like an undereducated tween on a non-traditional pre-medical student forum doesn't bode well for many more redeeming qualities.

Flirty is like the way an older guy might talk to an attractive younger girl. Not overt. More just a silly tone of voice at times.

Also, I had class today, one of the girls from his flirting group thought he was in the lab by choice, not cause he is teaching!!! He teaches these girls in another class and she thought he was in the lab to be supportive of them, NOT BECAUSE ITS HIS JOB. That's delusional. The way it worked is there are two lab groups (one with the female teacher, one with him). This dumb ass girl is assigned to the female teacher, so when she saw him in the class she thought he was there to be supportive of his other class! When, they actually merged the two labs (Probably cause the female teacher knows what she's doing and he's just a pretty face).

Clueless.

 

[rightasrain100]

Lol I am actually a tutor for the verbal SAT with a national chain and my degree is in english. I'm not an insecure premed either (You'd know that if you could read).