Cursing on Personal Statement/Secondaries?

[Geebeejay]

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Theoretical question.

Let's say I'd really like my personal statement to be centered around a specific (recent) interaction I've had with a patient who represents an underserved patient population. I think the statement will be stronger if I use direct quotes of conversations we had together, but he was very vulgar. As an artist, I identify situations in which cursing is tasteful (he didn't say anything racist, or disgusting....just dropped a lot of f-bombs during my interactions with him). However, I would understand if this would be considered distasteful in a medical school application.

We took very good care of this patient, despite how difficult it was given his lack of education, his lack of understanding of his medical condition, and his agitated demeanor. I personally think including some of the things he said, verbatim, would paint a better picture of the situation and how the medical team and I approached it. So please, let me know if you think this would be appropriate/inappropriate. Thank you!

Obviously, I've already applied/written my personal statement, but I'm curious as to what other people think about this.

 

[def1]

To play on the safe side don't include it at all.

Med schools are very strict on professionalism and I can only see this going wrong.

I really doubt including a few f bombs into a quote will make it that much more enticing. This is really not the time to be using artistic license.

Just my opinion tho

 

[ShenanigansMD]

I wouldn't care, but someone else might. I'd go for PG-13.

 

[gyngyn]

I have never seen vulgar language improve a PS.

 

[MedPR]

No

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

 

[mzarrowsmith]

Theoretical question.

Let's say I'd really like my personal statement to be centered around a specific (recent) interaction I've had with a patient who represents an underserved patient population. I think the statement will be stronger if I use direct quotes of conversations we had together, but he was very vulgar. As an artist, I identify situations in which cursing is tasteful (he didn't say anything racist, or disgusting....just dropped a lot of f-bombs during my interactions with him). However, I would understand if this would be considered distasteful in a medical school application.

We took very good care of this patient, despite how difficult it was given his lack of education, his lack of understanding of his medical condition, and his agitated demeanor. I personally think including some of the things he said, verbatim, would paint a better picture of the situation and how the medical team and I approached it. So please, let me know if you think this would be appropriate/inappropriate. Thank you!

Obviously, I've already applied/written my personal statement, but I'm curious as to what other people think about this.

Is this a residency PS? Your profile says you got accepted to med school already?

Either way, it's a slight risk that you could probably avoid with minimal impact on the intended message. I think a written string of f-bombs looks more vulgar on a page than a verbal, well-delivered string of f-bombs in the ED.

 

[mcloaf]

Docs reading your PS have been in plenty of ERs, they'll probably get the picture.

 

[Geebeejay]

Is this a residency PS? Your profile says you got accepted to med school already?

Either way, it's a slight risk that you could probably avoid with minimal impact on the intended message. I think a written string of f-bombs looks more vulgar on a page than a verbal, well-delivered string of f-bombs in the ED.

Heh, they weren't "well delivered". This gentleman was simply uneducated and agitated, and included obscenities as part of his usual demeanor.

Remember, this is simply a theoretical question....I'm not writing my PS about this at all, under any circumstance. This event happened a few days ago, and I thought to myself that it would make for a great PS, but wondered how appropriate it would be to include quotations from the patient.

 

[tn4596]

No

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

+1
Risk vs reward
Not worth it

 

[gettheleadout]

Just hypothetically, I would use asterisks or something to denote expletives in a personal statement. The reader can infer which word was used from context...

 

[ComradeDoktor]

If you have to ask, the answer is "no", for everything med school related. There are so many different personalities on the admissions committee that there's a high chance that one person somewhere will find it offensive.

 

[heliscomo]

The basis of my personal statement was an experience I had while volunteering in an underserved area. I actually opened the essay with a dialogue between myself and a patient and this included incorrect grammar and slang. I wouldn't say that you SHOULD include any expletives, but I felt that my story was strengthened by using actual dialogue and not trying to make it sound more sophisticated than it was. I would DEFINITELY encourage you to include a real conversation, but maybe not include an actual offensive word.

 

[Twinnering]

Probably won't make your PS, might break it though if someone finds it unprofessional/offensive

 

[image187]

Lol

 

[calvnandhobbs68]

May I suggest that you write your personal statement using nothing but f*ck?

http://tinyurl.com/1ahe

(used a tinyurl because the real url had the word in it and I'm pretty sure that's against TOS)

 

[Lollygag]

to play on the safe side don't include it at all.

Med schools are very strict on professionalism and i can only see this going wrong.

I really doubt including a few f bombs into a quote will make it that much more enticing. this is really not the time to be using artistic license.

just my opinion tho

+1

 

[dpretzels]

I personally think you should not use curse words in your application. It doesnt seem professional. I know that you are not claiming that you used those words, but i think just the fact that u put those words in the application will make u a less competitive applicant. thats my two cents

 

[tima]

Why make the application process any harder? I wouldn't use any cuss words, but I guess it's NMFP.

May I suggest that you write your personal statement using nothing but f*ck?

http://tinyurl.com/1ahe

(used a tinyurl because the real url had the word in it and I'm pretty sure that's against TOS)

 

[BenzylAcetate]

That **** sounds like a f*cking great idea!

 

[DrTurf]

The original version of my PS had the word "s***" in the first sentence, which was relatively tame compared to the f-bomb dropped in real life in that situation. I eventually toned it down to use the word "crap" because I felt that it really set the atmosphere for the rest of the story, and I couldn't leave it out entirely. I have had several interviewers tell me that it was the most captivating personal statement they had ever seen, and that it really stuck in their memory. One man said that he had read it four months before my interview and still remembered it. Another wasn't going to read my file before interviewing me, but accidentally read the first sentence as he glanced down and informed me that, at that point, I just had to tell him the story because he was hooked.

In other words, a toned-down version of an expletive can actually help your personal statement...if used properly. However, I would not use too many because it could detract from your professional appearance.

If it helps, I am shooting 6/10* so far for ii's and it's only the middle of the season...so I guess it didn't hurt me at most schools.


*technically 6/13, but I withdrew from 3 of the lower schools on my list before an ii was extended, so I have no way of knowing which way those would have gone

 

[pre med 2014]

That **** sounds like a f*cking great idea!

+1

Lmao

 

[MrChance2]

Well we have 5 spots left and 100 qualified candidates, any suggestions?

"The dude with all the F bombs in his personal statement".

I'd say it just depends on how likely you think this is to happen. I can't imagine the adcoms would refer to you any other way.

 

[EnergyDrink]

I said "s***" in an interview. Afterwards I sat back in my chair and resigned in the fact that I would be rejected. I forget entirely how it happened.

Accepted.

 

[DrTurf]

I said "s***" in an interview. Afterwards I sat back in my chair and resigned in the fact that I would be rejected. I forget entirely how it happened.

Accepted.

+1

 

[tn4596]

I said "s***" in an interview. Afterwards I sat back in my chair and resigned in the fact that I would be rejected. I forget entirely how it happened.

Accepted.

Was it anything like this? Subtitute " hired" for "accepted"
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS_fInD3z8I[/YOUTUBE]

 

[911 Turbo]

Before the letter explain that you are substituting the f word for another word, like coffee.


So instead of "**** you!!" you would write "coffee you!!"

 

[EndersRebutal]

I really can't see this move helping an application in anyway. I would not take the chance.

 

[La Presse]

During season 1 (ep 1) of Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw met Alexander Big and they connected and bonded over drinks and dancing. At the end of the episode when Carrie asked whether Big had been in love before, he replied "Absofu*kinglutely!"

They've been together every since.

 

[WTEngel]

Not to pour cold water on the whole conversation...but if your PS is going down the road of "a really uneducated guy who was mean and yelled curse words came into the ER, but we still took good care of him...blah blah blah" then the f bombs may not be what sinks the PS.

Taking care of patients like this happens all the time. If you're going to highlight this as a life-altering, or perspective changing experience, it might come off as elitist or arrogant.

The way you keep referring to the patient as uneducated, lacking understanding, etc. may be seen as disparaging towards the patient and actually paint you in a bad light. Whether the patient is actually all of those things you mentioned is irrelevant, as it seems like discussing these points about the patient is generally in bad taste, unless done so very respectfully.

This seems like a risky PS, and I am not sure if it will come off how you intend it to.

 

[Geebeejay]

Not to pour cold water on the whole conversation...but if your PS is going down the road of "a really uneducated guy who was mean and yelled curse words came into the ER, but we still took good care of him...blah blah blah" then the f bombs may not be what sinks the PS.

Taking care of patients like this happens all the time. If you're going to highlight this as a life-altering, or perspective changing experience, it might come off as elitist or arrogant.

The way you keep referring to the patient as uneducated, lacking understanding, etc. may be seen as disparaging towards the patient and actually paint you in a bad light. Whether the patient is actually all of those things you mentioned is irrelevant, as it seems like discussing these points about the patient is generally in bad taste, unless done so very respectfully.

This seems like a risky PS, and I am not sure if it will come off how you intend it to.

What you've stated is not what happened. Since I'm not actually planning on writing this in any sort of statement or essay, I'll give some background.

What happened is...the patient ended up in 4-point restraints, chemically restrained (heavily) and with psych consults because of agitated, "violent" behavior. He was assigned a male nurse and male CNA (myself) because he was deemed a threat to staff, and we had to pull a security guard to also watch him. It took us almost an entire day (24 hours) to get a reasonable H+P from him because he was so snowed, and even then it was very difficult. He mostly swung his arms around, screamed obscenities, repeated "I need to get the f*** out", "What the F*** is going on?", etc.

Finally, he started becoming more lucid, and Psych and Myself entered the room, and were able to get a good psych exam from him. We quickly realized that he was A. Not crazy, B. Not violent in any way, C. Had a seizure disorder and D. Had an unfortunate social history including homelessness and substance abuse. He was forced to bounce around EDs because he lacks insurance (typical, I know), didn't have a PCP (also typical of these types of patients), and tried to keep up with his dilantin. In his words "I F***in try, I do, but I don't have a PCP, no hospitals will take me, and I can't keep up with my meds!" Besides his language and harsh demeanor, he was harmless and all of the stigma he had received over the course of his day was probably 100% unfounded. We removed his section 12, and he would no longer receive any chemical restraints and sedation. At the end of our exam he had a grand mal seizure right in front of us (and then 3 more), and became briefly agitated, yet readily consoleable in his post-ictal state each time. We checked his dilantin levels, and they were of course: VERY LOW! Overall, he was actually extremely cooperative, followed all of our medical advice, and almost all of his problems were related to his social background as well as his lack of access to resources, including health care and a social safety net.

Now, this is not very much unlike many homeless patients, substance abuse patients, or socially deserted patients that we encounter in the ED. The talking point here is that this patient was stigmatized by the department immediately upon arrival, and only after trying to interact with his lucid baseline (24 hours later!) did we discover that he was NOT the person we initially thought he was. Hence: I immediately thought that this experience would have been worth talking about in an application! However, I was unsure how it would be received to mention his quotations verbatim (uncensored) to accurately portray his demeanor and our interactions. Pretty much everything he said was obscenity-filled, so the vulgarity really was a large part of his affect.