Dating in Medical School

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No young attractive 10/10 female wants to date me. They don't even want to put their number in my phone and netflix and chill. I keep getting rejected every day. I don't know what it is.

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failedatlife said:
No young attractive 10/10 female wants to date me. They don't even want to put their number in my phone and netflix and chill. I keep getting rejected every day. I don't know what it is.

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You need to apply yourself broadly. Hopefully a community-based small-town attractive female gives you this opportunity. Make sure your LORs are stellar from past exes.
 
failedatlife said:
No young attractive 10/10 female wants to date me. They don't even want to put their number in my phone and netflix and chill. I keep getting rejected every day. I don't know what it is.

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This isn't r/dating, but I've already said a lot so let me give my comprehensive, and most updated mentality on this attitude that you're acting out. If it's too cliche for you, too bad because you've been beating this dead horse for months.

We love to make excuses for our lack of success in the dating world because it preserves our accomplishments while allowing ourselves to dwell in self-pity. On a personal level, I'd blame my lack of dating success on very similar factors you have. The problem we both have is that we over-emphasize the tangibles and ignore everything else. At the end of the day, people who are worse looking, shorter, and of all kinds of ethnicities who are willing to put the time in to developing soft-skills and making women feel secure and special around them are bagging hotter chicks than I could even dream off. Even though you like to parody it at times, girls aren't ad-comms checking off boxes. They're very emotionally-intuitive creatures that are very sensitive to how you make them feel. If you're confident, she feels secure. If you're kind, she admires that. Of course you can fake something, but eventually she'll pick up on it.

Instead of chasing the tangibles like a 260+ Step score, 5'10+" stature, perfect abs, and a 400K+ salary that you think will make you the perfect package, just introspect and figure out which values you want to strive to defend and live your life by. This builds character which molds personality which will then attracts girls, yet that's only a side-effect. More importantly, it instantly makes your life more meaningful.
 
Hello all!

I was wondering what people's thoughts were on dating within the med school but outside the class. (For example, an M2 dating an M1.) This honestly seems like the best option, as I wouldn't see them as often if things were to go awry. As an incoming M1, will I have the chance to meet M2s easily?

For context and clarification, I am a woman interested in men. 🙂
 
iwillbeadoctor!94 said:
Hello all!

I was wondering what people's thoughts were on dating within the med school but outside the class. (For example, an M2 dating an M1.) This honestly seems like the best option, as I wouldn't see them as often if things were to go awry. As an incoming M1, will I have the chance to meet M2s easily?

For context and clarification, I am a woman interested in men. 🙂
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Ask for their Step 1 score first. You'll thank me later.
 
Redpancreas said:
This isn't r/dating, but I've already said a lot so let me give my comprehensive, and most updated mentality on this attitude that you're acting out. If it's too cliche for you, too bad because you've been beating this dead horse for months.

We love to make excuses for our lack of success in the dating world because it preserves our accomplishments while allowing ourselves to dwell in self-pity. On a personal level, I'd blame my lack of dating success on very similar factors you have. The problem we both have is that we over-emphasize the tangibles and ignore everything else. At the end of the day, people who are worse looking, shorter, and of all kinds of ethnicities who are willing to put the time in to developing soft-skills and making women feel secure and special around them are bagging hotter chicks than I could even dream off. Even though you like to parody it at times, girls aren't ad-comms checking off boxes. They're very emotionally-intuitive creatures that are very sensitive to how you make them feel. If you're confident, she feels secure. If you're kind, she admires that. Of course you can fake something, but eventually she'll pick up on it.

Instead of chasing the tangibles like a 260+ Step score, 5'10+" stature, perfect abs, and a 400K+ salary that you think will make you the perfect package, just introspect and figure out which values you want to strive to defend and live your life by. This builds character which molds personality which will then attracts girls, yet that's only a side-effect. More importantly, it instantly makes your life more meaningful.
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BRUHHHHH :claps:
 
iwillbeadoctor!94 said:
Hello all!

I was wondering what people's thoughts were on dating within the med school but outside the class. (For example, an M2 dating an M1.) This honestly seems like the best option, as I wouldn't see them as often if things were to go awry. As an incoming M1, will I have the chance to meet M2s easily?

For context and clarification, I am a woman interested in men. 🙂
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Yea dating a year above you is prob the best bet. And tbh I'm pretty sure most of the guys in later classes were going after the incoming ms1s
 
As a single girl going into medical school you'll probably have your pick of most guys. Medical school is stressful, so yeah..
 
grapefruit17 said:
As a single girl going into medical school you'll probably have your pick of most guys. Medical school is stressful, so yeah..
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Dating pool decreases as women go up in education and socioeconomic status. Its why I see many female residents single. Many girls in my class are married or met their significant other in college or before but attracting guys with education tends not to pan out well. Google Hypergamy.
 
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FellowPaisan said:
Dating pool decreases as women go up in education and socioeconomic status. Its why I see many female residents single. Many girls in my class are married or met their significant other in college or before but attracting guys with education tends not to pan out well. Google Hypergamy.
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I think that's mainly due to lack of time to meet people once you're a resident. A lot of people became couples, "casual" partners, and even married in my class.
 
grapefruit17 said:
I think that's mainly due to lack of time to meet people once you're a resident. A lot of people became couples, "casual" partners, and even married in my class.
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that's part of it. the other part that most females don't want to admit is that many of them really don't want to marry down. I remember having a discussion with the chief resident of surgery and she was like I am going to find someone of similar status. Like you are already in your early 30s and not many guys are going to have achieved that except for other professionals. What attracts a guy and girl are very different because guess what we were made differently.
 
If you read "Being Mortal", there is a section about a physician that won all of his sales contests in high school. The reason - he wasn't afraid of being rejected so he took a lot more no's to get the yes. This is true in dating for both sexes. You miss every ball you don't swing at. If my wife had not swung, she would've missed me, because I was in a burnt out dating state at the time we met (from lots of nos or yesses that after a few weeks/months I decided weren't for me and led to emotionally draining conversations/fallouts). Yet, she swung and now we have been happily married for a year and, as it stands, hopefully a lifetime. Put yourself out there. The pain of nos or yesses that you have to let down are part of living. Try to enjoy them too, they will inform the married person you become. Also, it's okay of some of your swings are online; who cares as more swings means more likely to have a hit. Also, be picky. Don't swing at something you don't want to hit. Waste of energy and time, both of which are precious to an individual productive enough to be a Med student.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
Redpancreas said:
This isn't r/dating, but I've already said a lot so let me give my comprehensive, and most updated mentality on this attitude that you're acting out. If it's too cliche for you, too bad because you've been beating this dead horse for months.

We love to make excuses for our lack of success in the dating world because it preserves our accomplishments while allowing ourselves to dwell in self-pity. On a personal level, I'd blame my lack of dating success on very similar factors you have. The problem we both have is that we over-emphasize the tangibles and ignore everything else. At the end of the day, people who are worse looking, shorter, and of all kinds of ethnicities who are willing to put the time in to developing soft-skills and making women feel secure and special around them are bagging hotter chicks than I could even dream off. Even though you like to parody it at times, girls aren't ad-comms checking off boxes. They're very emotionally-intuitive creatures that are very sensitive to how you make them feel. If you're confident, she feels secure. If you're kind, she admires that. Of course you can fake something, but eventually she'll pick up on it.

Instead of chasing the tangibles like a 260+ Step score, 5'10+" stature, perfect abs, and a 400K+ salary that you think will make you the perfect package, just introspect and figure out which values you want to strive to defend and live your life by. This builds character which molds personality which will then attracts girls, yet that's only a side-effect. More importantly, it instantly makes your life more meaningful.
Click to expand...

Very deep argument, prob too deep for a shallow person like myself to comprehend. Until I see something like She's Out of my League happening in real life, I just can't buy the argument. Women are just as, or even more so, shallow than men. Granted I'm trying at all right now (aka my life is in the s* and I need to do something about it so women are really low on my priority list now) but those 10s literally have so many options they can be picky as crap. But you are right, my whole life has been driven by those tangibles and when I don't reach them, my confidence gets crushed. Insecurity is a turn off.
 
failedatlife said:
Very deep argument, prob too deep for a shallow person like myself to comprehend. Until I see something like She's Out of my League happening in real life, I just can't buy the argument. Women are just as, or even more so, shallow than men. Granted I'm trying at all right now (aka my life is in the s* and I need to do something about it so women are really low on my priority list now) but those 10s literally have so many options they can be picky as crap. But you are right, my whole life has been driven by those tangibles and when I don't reach them, my confidence gets crushed. Insecurity is a turn off.
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You are making excuses. Read dating books and pickup. Everything is learnable and there is literally unlimited information available.
 
People think that just because you are in medical school now that you have a license to slay the baddies...not the case.

If you're an insecure, egotistical doucher before the short white coat... best believe nothing will change.

Also, most of the med school chicks I've met have a huge chip on their shoulder. I get it... it's harder being a female in a predominately male-oriented profession.

Hell, I'm super turned on by a girl who is driven, smart, and kinda gunnerish. I actually like that. I love the confidence and I can only imagine how much bull y'all have to go through. But guess what... we all do.

Some of y'all need to live it up a bit and don't need to keep reminding us how studies show that female physicians are better than their male counterparts (this happened too much during female physician day or whatever). It reeks of insecurity.

Be yourself. Be cool. Do your thang shorty.
 
Lev0phed said:
If you are a grill looking for a quality relationship, you should do online but at a paid site. You will only get gamma tier nobodies via tinder and the free apps, and anyone beta tier or higher will only want to sleep with you/arent interested in anything more. If you are hot, then you will get tons of messages from creeps larping as regular guys. The paid sites are really the best option for you because while it will not completely eliminate the betas it will at least create that extra barrier where broke nobodies and losers living in mommies basement are excluded for simple economic reasons. The paid sites also allow you to sift through your (much smaller but more high quality) matches with more information to look at. Its like having resumes from potential suitors.

If you are a guy and you are 4/10 or above in looks department (seth rogan being a 4, for example), have somewhat decent social intelligence (not all med students do), have some confidence, and at least act like you aren't a beta (e.g. not a social justice warrior, whiny coward, or overly effeminate), then getting a decently-looking Grill is pretty easy-mode as an M.D. student. American women are by and large sick of the Nu-Male, so just merely having a guarenteed career path with high prestige and earning potential is enough to get your proverbial foot in the door.


I met my wife in person about six months before med school began and she was BTFO with my alpha-tier status. I would say I am better than average looking (or was when I met her) but not by that much. Still, she definitely had other options, and me being in a high prestige career with good earning potential was very important to her. You should definitely use your career to your advantage.

Sent from my SM-N910P using SDN mobile
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Lol at Larping as a regular guy. Sometimes I feel like I am larping as a physician
 
failedatlife said:
Very deep argument, prob too deep for a shallow person like myself to comprehend. Until I see something like She's Out of my League happening in real life, I just can't buy the argument. Women are just as, or even more so, shallow than men. Granted I'm trying at all right now (aka my life is in the s* and I need to do something about it so women are really low on my priority list now) but those 10s literally have so many options they can be picky as crap. But you are right, my whole life has been driven by those tangibles and when I don't reach them, my confidence gets crushed. Insecurity is a turn off.
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Old post but all attractive people (male or female) are very picky about looks. That's life.
FellowPaisan said:
You are making excuses. Read dating books and pickup. Everything is learnable and there is literally unlimited information available.
Click to expand...
Anyone reading this ^^ --> don't follow this advice. "Pick up" material is a scam and cringey and dating books are full of nonsense. Just talk to people in your own league and you'll do just fine.
 
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DetectiveAlonzo said:
Also, most of the med school chicks I've met have a huge chip on their shoulder. I get it... it's harder being a female in a predominately male-oriented profession.

Hell, I'm super turned on by a girl who is driven, smart, and kinda gunnerish. I actually like that. I love the confidence and I can only imagine how much bull y'all have to go through. But guess what... we all do.
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You literally contradict yourself here. Can you 'only imagine' the bull, or do you know because you go through it too, because 'we all do'?
DetectiveAlonzo said:
Some of y'all need to live it up a bit and don't need to keep reminding us how studies show that female physicians are better than their male counterparts (this happened too much during female physician day or whatever). It reeks of insecurity.
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Oh no, did they spend one day that was dedicated to female physicians (granted, I've never heard of that day but if it was a thing where you are, this stands) reminding you that female physicians are awesome?

Seriously, this post is pretty internally inconsistent. You either 'get it' or you don't...but you shouldn't claim that you get it while every other statement that you make demonstrates how you really, really don't.
 
ActinicKeratosis said:
If you are a guy you need to be alpha and ask girls out. Dating apps are totally sub par to simply being blunt and asking a girl out. If you are an average looking dude the chances of a girl asking you out in our society is about as common as getting struck by lightning...twice. If you are a girl I don't have any advice for you because I am a guy.
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Is that all it takes to be an alpha? To ask girls out?
 
WaterIsGood said:
There is a difference between dating and one night stands. Unattractive women are certainly not dating up in looks. Usually it's the other way around where guys end up dating up.
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Lolwat? And who said anything about unattractive or attractive? Dating up usually means the partner is a little bit better looking, not completely out of their league.
And no, lets end this myth of ugly girl-hot girl. Unless a girl is incredibly insecure (which isn't overly uncommon) or really wants cash (not nearly as common anymore), she isn't dating a guy who isn't equal to her in looks.
 
MedicineZ0Z said:
Lolwat? And who said anything about unattractive or attractive? Dating up usually means the partner is a little bit better looking, not completely out of their league.
And no, lets end this myth of ugly girl-hot girl. Unless a girl is incredibly insecure (which isn't overly uncommon) or really wants cash (not nearly as common anymore), she isn't dating a guy who isn't equal to her in looks.
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Kinda agree, but not on the looks. Women like to date up, and would compromise somewhat on looks as long as the guy is a successful, well liked guy. That is for serious dating. For casual dating/flings, women are way more shallow than men.
 
brocephalic said:
Kinda agree, but not on the looks. Women like to date up, and would compromise somewhat on looks as long as the guy is a successful, well liked guy. That is for serious dating. For casual dating/flings, women are way more shallow than men.
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True. Though specifically for the really attractive ones, they're going to be super picky on every level regardless.
Thing with male looks is there is only so much you can control. A nice hair cut and clothes help a little bit, but can't change your face that much. Hence why I think pick up culture is dangerous as it bred these whackos online (red pillers, "incels" or whatever).
 
MedicineZ0Z said:
True. Though specifically for the really attractive ones, they're going to be super picky on every level regardless.
Thing with male looks is there is only so much you can control. A nice hair cut and clothes help a little bit, but can't change your face that much. Hence why I think pick up culture is dangerous as it bred these whackos online (red pillers, "incels" or whatever).
Click to expand...

Get jacked, dress well, be personable. That will get most guys to 5-6, even ugly ones. Be successful, and that'll add another point or two. Voila, now you can have quite a bit of success. Super hot chick might be out of your league, but plenty of 7s and 8s good looking broads out there. And if you keep hitting on super hot ones, you'll get lucky every now and then. Red Pillers and incels are just losers who didn't invest in themselves and now blame others for their shortcomings. Life is not fair, but you can make the best of what you have.
 
mehc012 said:
Jesus, one read through this thread is enough to turn anyone off of dating.
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And if you get the Joss Whedon reference in my avatar, I might have to propose (not knowing whether you’re male or female).
 
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bananafish94 said:
I started a relationship in medical school and I'm very happy.

On another note, this thread is the first time I've seen people use those weird dating terms (alpha, beta, etc.) non-ironically and it's much worse than I would have imagined.
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Every man I know of balances their inner chest beating gorilla and their inner cuddler.

Being catty about this social reality? I'll bite my tongue.
 
Frogger27 said:
For all you people who started relationships in preclinical years... were these with fellow classmates?

If not, where did you meet your SO?
Click to expand...

Don't date your classmates.
1, snowalkes making personal dramas into administrative issues 2, small social groups means gossip GOSSIP - class doesn't need to know about my fetishes or family stuff

Meeting an SO outside of medicine:
1. Take a shower (optional)
2. Hi I'm a doctor
3. ???
4. Profit

MDs have just a little bit less SES than professional athletes and billionaires. If you have any kind of social skills, the rest is trivial.
 
johnnydrama said:
And if you get the Joss Whedon reference in my avatar, I might have to propose (not knowing whether you’re male or female).
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TBH, I don't...but it's also very dark and I can't see what's going on very well. Sorry to disappoint, I suppose you'll have to slog through this morass after all. 😉
 
brocephalic said:
Get jacked, dress well, be personable. That will get most guys to 5-6, even ugly ones. Be successful, and that'll add another point or two. Voila, now you can have quite a bit of success. Super hot chick might be out of your league, but plenty of 7s and 8s good looking broads out there. And if you keep hitting on super hot ones, you'll get lucky every now and then. Red Pillers and incels are just losers who didn't invest in themselves and now blame others for their shortcomings. Life is not fair, but you can make the best of what you have.
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I mean I agree with self improvement and taking attempts but there are endless guys who still get rejected a lot. The common issue is they all want the hot girl on instagram rather than the average girl that is more attainable.
I also think muscles, height etc is very over rated.
 
Skiiiiiing said:
Don't date your classmates.
1, snowalkes making personal dramas into administrative issues 2, small social groups means gossip GOSSIP - class doesn't need to know about my fetishes or family stuff

Meeting an SO outside of medicine:
1. Take a shower (optional)
2. Hi I'm a doctor
3. ???
4. Profit

MDs have just a little bit less SES than professional athletes and billionaires. If you have any kind of social skills, the rest is trivial.
Click to expand...
Maybe in the 70s brah.
 
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