Dealing with a mean attending

[cdc2004]

I have this very frustrating situation in my FP rotation, which is the last of the third year. I work with 6 attendings in a clinic, 5 of whom are satisfied with my work. One, however, seems to just not like me. He scolds me for not knowing "simple" things that attendings may not know or argue about, for not having looked up minute things that he just asked about, even for not keeping up with him when he walks. He makes comments like "you're not fulfilling your purpose here" and "you don't know how to think."
Yesterday he had a talk with me in which he said he was worried I have "knowledge gaps" and he also does not understand how I got through my other rotations. I hope that good evaluations from other attendings will prevail, but I'm still worried I may flunk. I already have my fourth year scheduled, so that would be really bad since I'd then have to change the whole thing. Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation?

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[Dr JPH]

You are going to find attendings all over that treat students this way. Its unfortunate, but unless you are really making lots of mistakes chances are he is like that with other students as well.

Make the best of a bad situation. Avoid him when you can, try to keep up with that he asks you to do and work hard. More importantly, show the other attendings how hard you are working. If they are seeing the exact opposite from your performance this is more confirmation that it is probably him and not you.

When it comes time for evals try to make sure one of the other attendings is the one grading you.

Good luck.

 

[Sugar72]

I know people are always talking about how mean, malignant, psychotic etc the OBGYN residents are ...but I have only had trouble with family practice docs. 3rd year is almost over and the best you can do is just take his crap and pretend like you are taking his criticism seriously. Oh yeah and after he says something rude and critical thank him for taking such a keen interest in your education and sound really really sincere. Then after your rotation is over and your eval is in .... write a scathing review of his performance as an attending - my school makes us evaluate the attendings. Good luck!

 

[Paws]

I just had an experience with an internal med attending who would say the same sort of things to me. She seemed to pick me out specially and would criticise EVERYTHING I said or did. She even started saying weird things like: "I am really worried about you, you just don't seem to be getting this." Or, "are you ok? you don't seem to be ok." 🙄

She was so creepy I just wanted to slap her - oops! did I just say that outloud? Really, she was a supreme b*tch and I could hardly believe she was acting so seventh grade on me.

I find it very upsetting to be bullied by a super mean person, and especially when your professional future is on the line - which they all too well know. Worse, is when they are nice to everyone but you. 🙁

In the end I escaped reasonably intact, but my self esteem took a hit. Plus I was really angry and had to somehow stuff that. Hard to learn when you're in a situation like that. I posted a thread here called Attendings who bully. Do a quick search and you should find it. I learned alot from other peoples' comments and it made me feel much better.

Since I am such a book person, I thought I might look through Amazon and see what they had for self-help books on how to deal with workplace bullies. I am sure I will have much more opportunity to use these skills.

 

[cdc2004]

Thanks for your great replies! After reading your thread, Paws, it does sound like bullying, because I just can't imagine something really is wrong with me, especially since I did fine in other rotations, even very well in some. I am a timid, nerdy young-looking guy with an accent (no glasses though ). The attending is apparently one of those "tough guys". Sometimes I wonder whether he wanted to be a surgeon but didn't make it and settled for FP, which makes him unhappy so he takes it out on others. He treats his patients like crap too.

Oh well, I'll just sit back and enjoy playing with his psyche! Lucky for me there are three weeks left, and I only work with this particular attending once a week.

 

[tupac_don]

Thanks for your great replies! After reading your thread, Paws, it does sound like bullying, because I just can't imagine something really is wrong with me, especially since I did fine in other rotations, even very well in some. I am a timid, nerdy young-looking guy with an accent (no glasses though ). The attending is apparently one of those "tough guys". Sometimes I wonder whether he wanted to be a surgeon but didn't make it and settled for FP, which makes him unhappy so he takes it out on others. He treats his patients like crap too.

Oh well, I'll just sit back and enjoy playing with his psyche! Lucky for me there are three weeks left, and I only work with this particular attending once a week.

You should take some steroids, put on like 30 pounds of pure muscle and show him who's his daddy!

 

[babyruth]

I had an attending who was mean to you or critical of everything you did while you were with him, and then was super nice and joked around with you after you were off the service. I think sometimes they do it to push you harder or to make you feel perhaps like they felt as a student. For whatever reason, they are continuing a vicious cycle. All I can say is to try hard, admit when you do not know something, and say that you will read about that or work on it. I think everyone appreciates honesty and integrity.

 

[boulux]

You should take some steroids, put on like 30 pounds of pure muscle and show him who's his daddy!

he's affraid of needles.