Death in the family, too cliche??

[rayden001]

Hey guys

I am starting the process of writing my personal statement. With all the advice given on SDN about the essence of "standing out" through one's essay, I was wondering if including my dad's death as the main reason to pursue medicine sounds cliche?

Although it is the main reason for my interest, I understand that death in the family seems common in personal statements, at least based on SDN sample.

Also, is there a way to present this particular motivation without making my essay depressing? Thanks

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[RoadRunner17]

As long as you focus on how that makes you want to go study medicine, from your own personal perspective, then whether it is cliche or not doesn't matter. It needs to have some sort of substance, rather than just saying "My dad died, it sucked and I want to be a doctor to prevent other kids' dads from dying".

 

[LittleRocker]

rather than just saying "My dad died, it sucked and I want to be a doctor to prevent other kids' dads from dying".

Damnit, i guess I'm out of the running.

 

[savant]

Hey guys

I am starting the process of writing my personal statement. With all the advice given on SDN about the essence of "standing out" through one's essay, I was wondering if including my dad's death as the main reason to pursue medicine sounds cliche?

Although it is the main reason for my interest, I understand that death in the family seems common in personal statements, at least based on SDN sample.

Also, is there a way to present this particular motivation without making my essay depressing? Thanks

your essay should not be depressing unless you involve a lot of pathos in it, which you should use to some extent, but not excessively.

focus on how it affected you, your choices, and your future.

 

[Depakote]

there are only so many reasons for wanting to go into medicine, I'm pretty sure the admissions committee will have heard them all...

My suggestion is to avoid presenting yourself in a cliche way and be genuine. As long as you do that, it's ok to have a similar reason for wanting to go into medicine.


EDIT:

Post 12345

 

[LizzyM]

Many applicants use the death (or serious illness) of a loved one as a starting point for the personal statement. May I suggest that you introduce the topic by describing that your dad was sick or died suddenly or whatever but then go back through the experience and pick out moments when you said to yourself, "I want to be like that doctor" or "I would do things differently." It is ok to name-names if you are praising someone but not if you are criticizing. You can take this further in the essay and describe other interactions on the job or in a volunteer position, while shadowing, or in the lab that served as points when you saw what you want in a career in medicine. This will not be depressing because it is about YOU and why you want to be a doctor and the kind of doctor you want to be (I don't mean that you want to be a cardiologist or an oncologist but that you want to be patient, compassionate, available, a good communicator, self-sacrificing, etc).

 

[officedepot]

that's actually fine as long as it's true. Unless you have a lot to write I wouldn't make that the entire focus of your essay (but maybe I'm not a great writer). Anyway I used the early death of the grandmother as a major reason (as well as a few others) and I got in. The topic is not cliche but you could make it sound bad by saying it the wrong way. I mean not everyone can travel to third world countries and find their true passion.

 

[Vihsadas]

Many applicants use the death (or serious illness) of a loved one as a starting point for the personal statement. May I suggest that you introduce the topic by describing that your dad was sick or died suddenly or whatever but then go back through the experience and pick out moments when you said to yourself, "I want to be like that doctor" or "I would do things differently." It is ok to name-names if you are praising someone but not if you are criticizing. You can take this further in the essay and describe other interactions on the job or in a volunteer position, while shadowing, or in the lab that served as points when you saw what you want in a career in medicine. This will not be depressing because it is about YOU and why you want to be a doctor and the kind of doctor you want to be (I don't mean that you want to be a cardiologist or an oncologist but that you want to be patient, compassionate, available, a good communicator, self-sacrificing, etc).

Not that its surprising, but LizzyM is giving exactly what I think is the right advice. I think I have a decent perspective on this issue because one of the key differentiating factors between this year and last year was my personal statement.

I wrote about a death in the immediate family but focused wholly on my motivation and my reasons for wanting to enter the field. I think that this purpose was even better served because the rest of my application shows substantiating evidence that my family tragedy was the instigating factor in my decision to explore medicine as a career option. My grades, extracurriculars, indepedent initiatives--the start of my path--all coincided with that event. So, if you know how to tell a tragic story without it being negative and have the concrete evidence in other parts of your application to support your story, it can be a great way to write a personal statement. Be forewarned, however, that you absolutely have to make sure that the death in your family actually was the true reason you started exploring the field medicine. If you're just using it, even though you may have decided later or earlier, then beware--your app will lack the substantiating evidence necessary.

(PS Thank you Depakote. Seriously)

 

[Handy388]

rather than just saying "My dad died, it sucked and I want to be a doctor to prevent other kids' dads from dying".

said that very thing, now holding acceptance.

 

[efitzpat]

I wrote about my mom's death. It was by no means the focus of my personal statement, but a big player. I'd be happy to send it to you. PM me if you'd like.

 

[JuliaGulia2789]

One really good piece of advice I got for writing my PS was to start off by imagining that I was telling a good friend my story of why I wanted to be a doctor. I found that this really helped me to identify the salient points from my different experiences to be used in the PS. If the death in your family is one of those important experiences, then by all means include it.

 

[What up doc]

Hey guys

I am starting the process of writing my personal statement. With all the advice given on SDN about the essence of "standing out" through one's essay, I was wondering if including my dad's death as the main reason to pursue medicine sounds cliche?

Although it is the main reason for my interest, I understand that death in the family seems common in personal statements, at least based on SDN sample.

Also, is there a way to present this particular motivation without making my essay depressing? Thanks

yes, it will be cliche. but so is just about anything else you are likely to come up with. but it doesnt matter, if you are genuine that will shine through. like sum1 else has said, adcomms have seen it all. so its more about how not what.

 

[SiR99]

This is not cliche,

I think that the people who have gone through things like this are in a better position to practice medicine rather then the kids who are pressured by their parents to become a doctor or those who are just doing it for the money or prestige.

If you have gone through something horrible, it puts you in a better position to relate to others who are going through the same thing.

No matter what anyones says or how sorry they are or they keep telling you everythings going to be alright, ... nobody understands what it feels like to have a loved ones life threatened by a disease or to lose a loved one until they have experienced it for themselves.

 

[cyclin M]

This is a very real experience for you and you should write about it. I don't see how anyone could lose a parent and not have it affect them in some way especially when they are pursuing medicine. In fact, if I found out your dad died and you didn't mention it in your essay as how that changed you somehow I would be very puzzled and a little weirded out at this lack of a response.

 

[What up doc]

This is not cliche,

yea it is. ppl use this reason all the time. that does not diminish the significance or impact it has had on the OP, but it still is cliche.

I think that the people who have gone through things like this are in a better position to practice medicine rather then the kids who are pressured by their parents to become a doctor or those who are just doing it for the money or prestige.

you must not have immigrant parents. there are a lot of great african and asian docs out there who were pressured into medicine by their parents. youd be surprised.

 

[202781]

I personally think the idea is played out. It seems like everyone of my peers applying is writing about a death in the family. I just think it does not make you stand out. I think you should mention it...maybe...but do not focus the whole essay or even the majority on that. I have read a few of my peers essays and the ones that really stand out are the essays that show the frustration you have had volunteering at a hospital, or how your level of consciousness has been raised after volunteering at a clinic or with disabled people...

The most boring ones (but where you still have to tell the person "aww it was a touching essay") are the ones about a death. Yeah it is terrible, tragic even, but they don't really show who YOU are

IMO...

 

[littletxdoc]

, I was wondering if including my dad's death as the main reason to pursue medicine sounds cliche?

Although it is the main reason for my interest, I understand that death in the family seems common in personal statements, at least based on SDN sample.

Also, is there a way to present this particular motivation without making my essay depressing? Thanks

All the comments on this forum are great, and as always LizzyM is right on!

If that is the reason, then frame it as such. I already wanted to be a physician before my father passed away, but I wrote part of my personal statement about how much I learned from the (poor) experiences he had with physicians, the importance of communication and socioemotional support from the physicians, what I learned from it, and how it made me want to be better as a future physician.

Don't think it is cliche, it is a life altering and sometimes traumatic experience to lose a parent, and if you can take something positive away from it such as inspiration to be a physician, or to be a better one, it will show that you have a sense of perspective and are a more mature applicant who can handle and reflect on such experiences in an enlightened way. When done right it can make a great addition to a PS.
Best of Luck

 

[flip26]

Come up with at least 2 other PS ideas and flesh them out, and then have friends, co-workers, or a trusted mentor review them...it would be really helpful if you can show them to someone who has knowledge of this process and what is expected in the PS...

 

[ButImLETired]

I personally think the idea is played out. It seems like everyone of my peers applying is writing about a death in the family. I just think it does not make you stand out. I think you should mention it...maybe...but do not focus the whole essay or even the majority on that. I have read a few of my peers essays and the ones that really stand out are the essays that show the frustration you have had volunteering at a hospital, or how your level of consciousness has been raised after volunteering at a clinic or with disabled people...

The most boring ones (but where you still have to tell the person "aww it was a touching essay") are the ones about a death. Yeah it is terrible, tragic even, but they don't really show who YOU are

IMO...

Interesting, I would actually have said that this is more of a cliche`, simply because it's something everyone has experienced. Someone with a death in his family probably also volunteered and/or shadowed and probably also felt the frustration or empathy from those activities...but those feelings were extremely overshadowed by the motivation stemming from that death.

I agree with everyone here that it's how you present it. I think it's essential to mention it as a huge motivating factor, but not the only one. Talk about it and why you think it led you to pursue medicine, but also think about what kept you on the path: did you really love the sciences, too? Were there other aspects of medicine you liked as you went on? Any volunteering, shadowing, or research experiences that really solidified your passion?

I wrote about the death of a parent, and I think the hardest thing for me was to not sound like Tiny Tim. I think that you want to sound like you're "over it", in the sense that you're able to talk about it and realize that something good came of it- your passion for medicine. What really is cliche is trying to make the adcom feel bad for you. Telling them that you were introduced to death and disease in a traumatizing, life-changing way and that it made you realize what you wanted to do with your life (and then giving examples of the other reasons why you're sure this is right for you) is poignant and interesting, not cliche`.

 

[LizzyM]

The most boring ones (but where you still have to tell the person "aww it was a touching essay") are the ones about a death. Yeah it is terrible, tragic even, but they don't really show who YOU are

IMO...

So true. I call those "dead grandmothers" although it isn't always a grandmother.

Some of the problems:
Yes, you may feel sad when a loved one dies and yes, you may feel better as time goes on. That is not a reasons to become a doctor.

Yes, you may feel helpless when a loved one is injured or has a medical emergency but medical school will not turn you into Jesus and you won't be able to heal everyone who touches the hem of your lab coat. If you want to be able to help someone at an accident scene get EMT or CPR or first aid training and then come back and tell me why you want a career in medicine.

Yes, you lost a loved one when you were young. Being a physician does not mean that you are going to prevent other kids from that kind of loss -- you won't save everyone (see above). It is reasonable to strive to make a difference for patients and families and to see each "case" as a patient and each patient as part of a network of family and friends, particularly when a cure is no longer possible.

Yes, your loved one died due to bad health behaviors but it wasn't a lack of education about what not to do. The information about smoking has been out there for 40-50 years. Ways to help people quit have been available for >35 years. Ditto diet and exercise. People don't do bad stuff out of ignorance, they do it willfully because the short-term gain beats the long-term benefit of doing the "right" thing. Don't use the "dad died because he didn't know smoking was bad for him" line becasue it isn't believable. If you want to go that route, recognize that people are flawed human beings and that they appreciate a coach/cheerleader who will motivate them to reach long term goals and help them take the baby-steps to acheive those goals.

 

[Tiare208]

I love the cynicism! After reading enough personal statements, I wonder if every kind of personal statement has a sarcastic code name.

 

[LizzyM]

I love the cynicism! After reading enough personal statements, I wonder if every kind of personal statement has a sarcastic code name.

"Lights and sirens" is another. And let's not forget the Dead African Babies (DAB) so well parodied by Panda Bear.

 

[Vihsadas]

What about the all too common "Superman Complex". I've read a few of those this year. 😛

 

[DrMattOglesby]

my essay started out with a dramatic retelling of a time when I saved someone's life while I was working as a lifeguard (probably fits under the "superman complex" haha). my most recent interviewers commented on it and said that it was very moving, but when they found out more about me (ie my parents are in the health field), they were surprised I hadn't mentioned their influence on my decision to enter medicine. In fact, they asked me specifically why I had not written about my parents in my personal statement.
So, even though some things might seem cliche, I wouldn't recommend completely leaving them out simply for the sake of being different.

 

[efitzpat]

I personally think the idea is played out. It seems like everyone of my peers applying is writing about a death in the family. I just think it does not make you stand out. I think you should mention it...maybe...but do not focus the whole essay or even the majority on that. I have read a few of my peers essays and the ones that really stand out are the essays that show the frustration you have had volunteering at a hospital, or how your level of consciousness has been raised after volunteering at a clinic or with disabled people...

The most boring ones (but where you still have to tell the person "aww it was a touching essay") are the ones about a death. Yeah it is terrible, tragic even, but they don't really show who YOU are

IMO...

Wow I just find this horrible. As far as not showing who "you" are, I completely disagree. Most people are shaped by their experiences, and death is a huge experience. It doesn't go away and changes a lot in the course of your life. So far in college, I personally haven't met anyone else whose mom died. And I didn't just say "oh my mom died so i know how to be a doctor - let me into your school." Rather, I wrote about what happened afterwards, how the qualities in her have created a mold for the type of doctor I want to be, how my later experiences were altered as a result of that one event. I had other things in my personal statement, too, but this has been the most defining moment of my life so far, because it continues to influence my life on nearly a daily basis.
As far as death ever being "played out" - I don't even know how to respond to that

 

[drelizabeth292]

as long as it is geniuine, it will be fine. it is a good idea to always say what you learned from the experience and what qualities you say in the doctors/staff that you hope to one day emulate. it will also be a good idea to show how you grew after the death and perphaps highlight another EC that shows you are committed to this career path.

 

[ButImLETired]

Wow I just find this horrible. As far as not showing who "you" are, I completely disagree. Most people are shaped by their experiences, and death is a huge experience. It doesn't go away and changes a lot in the course of your life. So far in college, I personally haven't met anyone else whose mom died. And I didn't just say "oh my mom died so i know how to be a doctor - let me into your school." Rather, I wrote about what happened afterwards, how the qualities in her have created a mold for the type of doctor I want to be, how my later experiences were altered as a result of that one event. I had other things in my personal statement, too, but this has been the most defining moment of my life so far, because it continues to influence my life on nearly a daily basis.
As far as death ever being "played out" - I don't even know how to respond to that

I totally agree. I think you have to experience something like that at a young age to really realize the infinite number of ways in which it shapes you and your motivations and the way in which it permeates everything you do and every decision you make since then. If I really was rejected from certain places because they felt that my PS topic was "played out"....good Lord, I'm glad I'm not going there. I have edited enough people's PS's to be able to write one hell of an essay about the wild and crazy experiences I had while shadowing this and that doctor, the usual "hey I'm an EMT therefore I know everything about medicine" or "I was sick as a child and loved the way my doctor treated me". I DO have a funky medical condition and DID have some crazy shadowing/volunteering experiences, but they did not in any way come even close to shaping my vision of what kind of doctor I want to be or to motivate me to deal with the drudgery of being pre-med to the extent that the death of a parent did. Sure, these experiences refined the passion that I already had, but if I had focused my essay on them I wouldn't have been true to myself. Oh well, any school that wants me to cater what I feel is the most important part of my application to whomever thinks it's a "played out" topic is probably not the place where I belong...

 

[efitzpat]

I totally agree. I think you have to experience something like that at a young age to really realize the infinite number of ways in which it shapes you and your motivations and the way in which it permeates everything you do and every decision you make since then. If I really was rejected from certain places because they felt that my PS topic was "played out"....good Lord, I'm glad I'm not going there. I have edited enough people's PS's to be able to write one hell of an essay about the wild and crazy experiences I had while shadowing this and that doctor, the usual "hey I'm an EMT therefore I know everything about medicine" or "I was sick as a child and loved the way my doctor treated me". I DO have a funky medical condition and DID have some crazy shadowing/volunteering experiences, but they did not in any way come even close to shaping my vision of what kind of doctor I want to be or to motivate me to deal with the drudgery of being pre-med to the extent that the death of a parent did. Sure, these experiences refined the passion that I already had, but if I had focused my essay on them I wouldn't have been true to myself. Oh well, any school that wants me to cater what I feel is the most important part of my application to whomever thinks it's a "played out" topic is probably not the place where I belong...

word 👍

 

[SiR99]

yea it is. ppl use this reason all the time. that does not diminish the significance or impact it has had on the OP, but it still is cliche.



you must not have immigrant parents. there are a lot of great african and asian docs out there who were pressured into medicine by their parents. youd be surprised.

You dont know that there are ALOT of great dotors who were pressured into medicine by their parents, you may know some, lets even say you know 10-15 of them, but there are BAD doctors out there, they are not all equally good, and these bad doctors got into medicine for the wrong reasons.

I could have just as easily have said, "there are alot of great doctors out there who went through some hard times which helps them relate to their patients better".

Its just something your saying, its a speculation, whereas what I'm saying is common sense accepted by everyone.

Its common knowledge, when you yourself experience something, it puts you in a better position to help others through it.

 

[LizzyM]

Its common knowledge, when you yourself experience something, it puts you in a better position to help others through it.

Not at all. There is an objectivity and specialized knowledge that someone without personal experience may bring to the table.

I will not choose an orphan over an applicant with two living parents because the orphan will be a better doctor.

 

[seoes]

LizzyM, thank you for your kind words and advice.

 

[LizzyM]

Seoes, I'm sorry for your loss.

In some cases, the interview will be closed file and the interviewer won't have a heads up. In some open file interviews, the interviewer won't have made a thorough review of your application or an important piece of information will be overlooked.

Either situation can lead to an unintentionally hurtful question such as, "are your parents supportive of your decision to pursue a career in medicine?" Regardless of the hurt, you need to hold it together. Crying in an interview is going to raise questions about your emotional readiness for medical school.

Telling an interviewer that a certain topic is "off limits" is a huge red flag that is going to raise questions that don't need to be raised.

Take a good look at where you are, how long it has been, and talk with a professional (counselor, member of the clergy, primary care doc, professional staffer in the dean of students office) if you need help in healing from this terrible loss.

 

[202781]

Wow I just find this horrible. As far as not showing who "you" are, I completely disagree. Most people are shaped by their experiences, and death is a huge experience. It doesn't go away and changes a lot in the course of your life. So far in college, I personally haven't met anyone else whose mom died. And I didn't just say "oh my mom died so i know how to be a doctor - let me into your school." Rather, I wrote about what happened afterwards, how the qualities in her have created a mold for the type of doctor I want to be, how my later experiences were altered as a result of that one event. I had other things in my personal statement, too, but this has been the most defining moment of my life so far, because it continues to influence my life on nearly a daily basis.
As far as death ever being "played out" - I don't even know how to respond to that

I know you disagree with me...but that is just my opinion. (an opinion that got me into several schools with pretty average stats).
I am not saying that I don't have empathy for those with a parent who died. But EVERYBODY has had someone die in their family whether it was a sister (like my roommate), a grandparent (like myself...not of old age), a mother or a father (like my former GF and my best friend and one of my classmates in college)...everybody has those stories and they are really heartbreaking especially when they are a sibling or a parent. I just don't think that a personal statement that has more than 1 paragraph on this would benefit the applicant because it takes away information about the him or her. I have read more than 5 applications with the "dead grandparent" theme (as LizzyM says) and honestly they don't make the paper memorable and they all had pretty much the same formula and were something that you could not criticize based on the nature of the paper and the relationship that you have with the person asking you to read the statement.

Not at all. There is an objectivity and specialized knowledge that someone without personal experience may bring to the table.

I will not choose an orphan over an applicant with two living parents because the orphan will be a better doctor.

THANK YOU! good to hear someone in your position say that.

 

[lisasimpson87]

I know you disagree with me...but that is just my opinion. (an opinion that got me into several schools with pretty average stats).
I am not saying that I don't have empathy for those with a parent who died. But EVERYBODY has had someone die in their family whether it was a sister (like my roommate), a grandparent (like myself...not of old age), a mother or a father (like my former GF and my best friend and one of my classmates in college)...everybody has those stories and they are really heartbreaking especially when they are a sibling or a parent. I just don't think that a personal statement that has more than 1 paragraph on this would benefit the applicant because it takes away information about the him or her. I have read more than 5 applications with the "dead grandparent" theme (as LizzyM says) and honestly they don't make the paper memorable and they all had pretty much the same formula and were something that you could not criticize based on the nature of the paper and the relationship that you have with the person asking you to read the statement.

I also have several acceptances with pretty average stats (as if that gives us some sort of authority), and my essay was framed in a story of a dying relative. I got several compliments on my essay (4 comments at 3 separate interviews). The point is that it's maybe not so much the topic but rather what you do with it- don't avoid a topic that you feel is the true reason why you want to become a doctor because you're worried it might be trite.

 

[Vihsadas]

I also have several acceptances with pretty average stats (as if that gives us some sort of authority), and my essay was framed in a story of a dying relative. I got several compliments on my essay (4 comments at 3 separate interviews). The point is that it's maybe not so much the topic but rather what you do with it- don't avoid a topic that you feel is the true reason why you want to become a doctor because you're worried it might be trite.

Bingo.

 

[SiR99]

Not at all. There is an objectivity and specialized knowledge that someone without personal experience may bring to the table.

I will not choose an orphan over an applicant with two living parents because the orphan will be a better doctor.

I dont really understand your line of reasoning but I think its because we are both thinking of two different situations in where someones loved one can be sick and the different types of experience that can be gained.

 

[LizzyM]

Its common knowledge, when you yourself experience something, it puts you in a better position to help others through it.

I wrote that I would not choose an orphan over an applicant with two living parents with the idea that the orphan would be a better doctor (for having had the experience of losing a parent).

I dont really understand your line of reasoning but I think its because we are both thinking of two different situations in where someones loved one can be sick and the different types of experience that can be gained.

Support group members are helpful to others going through a difficult experience but professionals (physicians, lawyers, clerics) need not to have had an experience to be empathetic and of service to a person in need. The professional services provided by professionals depend, in my opinion, on specialized knowledge, than personal experience with the same situation.

 

[spootbat]

In my PS, the very first sentence I described an action that I witnessed in my father's hospice room when he was in his final days dying of cancer. This action was a very subtle one made not even by one of the health care workers at the hospital, but actually a custodian, and her action raised us up out of the confusing and dark times I was experiencing. I then used that action to launch off and describe how it inspired me to explore how I could expand upon that quality of even the littlest things that could make someone's life better and bring stability and hope back from whatever ails them.

So I did not use my father's death as the focus of my essay, but as the setting for a launching point in which I described how I explored the inspiration I witnessed in the events at the beginning of the essay.

I guess I used my father's death as a logical premise for my argument, but not as the argument itself. Also, I did not focus on generalities that I experienced during my father's death, but instead a specific event.

Does that help?

 

[SiR99]

I wrote that I would not choose an orphan over an applicant with two living parents with the idea that the orphan would be a better doctor (for having had the experience of losing a parent).



Support group members are helpful to others going through a difficult experience but professionals (physicians, lawyers, clerics) need not to have had an experience to be empathetic and of service to a person in need. The professional services provided by professionals depend, in my opinion, on specialized knowledge, than personal experience with the same situation.

I agree with you, an orphan should not be taken just because they are an orphan, and I completely understand now what you mean about professionals providing specialized knowledge and how that is more important than their personal experience.

I was refering more to how when a person goes through the process along with a sick loved one,

For example: being with them the day they find out they are sick, taking them to surgery, taking them to chemo, being their support system, etc ..., this personal experience allows the person to see how everything works, how doctors work with patients, what it feels like to be a patient, what it feels like to be the family of a patient.

I believe having this kind of experience would give someone more of a passion to persue medicine because they are deeply and emotionally invested in it.

Also this person starts off young seeing what they like and dislike about the way they see doctors interacting with patients, so that they can work on themselves at an early age to prepare for the future.

This is just what I believe, but your the Adcom and you know better than me 👍

 

[spootbat]

Oh, and one more very important thing. I did not just make up bull**** for this essay, I really was touched by that specific gesture I witnessed in my father's hospice room, and it really did motivate me to be the best I could be and emulate that gesture to give back. I thought about that scene nearly every day even before I started thinking about medical school or a PS. It was true and heartfelt, and I don't think I could write any other PS that does not contain some inkling of this motivation.

 

[jpnmed]

I wrote about my own father's death when I was thirteen in my PS. I don't think that it came of as cliche because of the way that I wrote about it. I agree with LET that one can't go through the death of a parent and not have their life changed in some way. I don't think that you can compare the death of a grandparent with that of a death of a parent. They are very different circumstances (unless of course you were raised by a grandparent). BTW I had multiple interviewers who commented favorably on my PS. I actually had an interviewer at one school who had also just lost his father recently and so we had something in common to talk about. I also have two MD acceptances. I think that as long as you relate the experience so that it is just one of many reasons that you want to be a doctor, that you will come off as sincere. I certainly don't believe that I will be a better doctor because my dad died, but I do think that it gives me some experience so that I can empathize with those who are grieving. I think that this will help me as a physician.

 

[Excelsius]

I know you disagree with me...but that is just my opinion. (an opinion that got me into several schools with pretty average stats).
I am not saying that I don't have empathy for those with a parent who died. But EVERYBODY has had someone die in their family whether it was a sister (like my roommate), a grandparent (like myself...not of old age), a mother or a father (like my former GF and my best friend and one of my classmates in college)...everybody has those stories and they are really heartbreaking especially when they are a sibling or a parent. I just don't think that a personal statement that has more than 1 paragraph on this would benefit the applicant because it takes away information about the him or her. I have read more than 5 applications with the "dead grandparent" theme (as LizzyM says) and honestly they don't make the paper memorable and they all had pretty much the same formula and were something that you could not criticize based on the nature of the paper and the relationship that you have with the person asking you to read the statement.



THANK YOU! good to hear someone in your position say that.

Since when is losing a close family member a cliche? That's a terrible thing to say and I would think that anyone who thinks it is not a big deal either has not experienced such a loss or such a loss has not meant much to him or her. It is sad that everything is viewed in terms of medical school acceptance. Who cares about that? It is so irrelevant in this case. If you lose someone about whom you really care about, you would give up your every medical school acceptance rather than have the loss.

Obviously it is important not to dwell on the past. The way you present your situation is very important. A loss itself doesn't amount to much if it hasn't really affected you. Having to ask whether such a bereavement is a cliche probably means that you shouldn't bring it up in the essay. When you are deeply affected by something, be it a tragedy or rapture, you don't need to ask whether it is ok to talk about it. The personal statement is for diiscussing your human side. Everything that has shaped you as a human being and defines you, will go into the essay automatically. If you have to ask whether your experience is a cliche, then it probably has been everything but cathartic and doesn't belong in the essay.

Another note: not all losses are equivalent. Just because someone died in your family, doesn't mean you have to bring it up. Probably all of us in here have lost at least one grandparent due to old age. That doesn't mean that bereavement is equivalent to the loss of a parent, a sibling, or even a close friend. It's all about how you have been affected and defined by the experience, rather than who has died or what other premeds put down in their personal statements. It possible to be more affected by the tragic death of a historical figure who is your role model and not be affected by the death of your own family member. Everything is relative.

 

[202781]

I really am through with getting **** about my own opinion. If you want to write about a dead relative go for it. I think it probably would not be the best thing to write about but if you think it makes you stand out or really captures why you want to go into medicine go ahead and do it...because truth be told I dont know who you are or care in the least whether you get into medical school or not. I WAS GIVING MY OPINION

Again it would be (and is...I KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!!!) tragic to lose a loved one.

What ev. please stop giving me **** about voicing my opinion...I thought that was what this thread was for. I am not god trying to hand down golden advice from fairy-tale land. I AM HUMAN!!!

 

[Excelsius]

I really am through with getting **** about my own opinion. If you want to write about a dead relative go for it. I think it probably would not be the best thing to write about but if you think it makes you stand out or really captures why you want to go into medicine go ahead and do it...because truth be told I dont know who you are or care in the least whether you get into medical school or not. I WAS GIVING MY OPINION

Again it would be (and is...I KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!!!) tragic to lose a loved one.

What ev. please stop giving me **** about voicing my opinion...I thought that was what this thread was for. I am not god trying to hand down golden advice from fairy-tale land. I AM HUMAN!!!

What I said applies to this thread in general. It wasn't directed at you. I don't think you talked about cliches anyway. And this is not about me either - I am not seeking advice about this. It's just that the OP seems to be a little confused.