Deciding to quit medical school

Started by doctor_x10050
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doctor_x10050

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Hi everyone I'm an MS1 toward the end of his first year.

I know deep inside that my main attraction to medical school was to offset this panic that if I didn't pursue medicine I would be "wasting my life", "wasting my potential" and that I "Should become a doctor". Within all those feelings is this tremendous feeling of fear associated with becoming a doctor and shame associated with the repercussions of my (many times fantasized) going away from it.

Maybe pursuing this career was actually a (genuine) mistake that I am just realizing now that there isn't really an escape. I know that many medical students feel this way. But despite the clinical training and information I have learned so far I feel like life is really dark and medicine is an incredibly stressful, anxiety provoking, all encompassing experience. Last night I had this epiphany that if I pursued music, art, and innovation (areas of interest I have always had) I would truly be going where my heart is. I know I can be a great artist and innovator. Maybe I just have no idea who I am anymore. But I feel silly having the thought of acting on these other aspirations and feel panicked that if I were to leave medical school to pursue something completely different I would instantly regret it. There is also the idea in my head that other medical student are good at everything that I can do and I would just be kidding myself if I decided to leave to pursue something stupid like that. And that, I could do both.

Before making any major moves, I want to think this over really really hard. I want to know what people think about this common advise: "Don't quit. Just keep going until you get your MD, most people will eventually figure out what specialty they want to go into and the worst part is actually the beginning.", "Don't quit grad school.", "It gets better.", and "you can still have a medical career and do other things on the side". A haunting thought of mine is that life outside medicine is not really different in the way I think it may be. That pursuing something I may truly love, fully pursuing it, is something that is useless, because I can just do it while I am in the medical field.
I also want to know what people think about this: "If you truly don't feel passionate about medicine, quit now. It is better to quit sooner than later."

What is the turning point. What gives? At what point do you just decide to pack up and leave? Am I foolish to walk away before receiving my MD degree, or should I just go for the MD and then drop it? Isn't doing that more of a waste of time and money though? What if I actually do not like this profession at all and I have only convinced myself that I like it? These kinds of questions are what I think of every day, multiple times per day, because I feel like I have been lost for the longest time.
 
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If you read this forum enough, you would be amazed at how many people would tell you "quit now while you still can if you hate it that much." With that said, this is only advice I can give.

Try to shadow again and see if that jogs your interest in medicine. You can also take an LOA and think things through, because one you leave school it will be for good, you can't come back. If you really don't feel like medicine is for you after all that, then drop, you don't want the debt.
 
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I wouldn't leave until you have a distinct plan that you know will make you happy. AKA a job lined up that you know you will be happier with than what you are doing. Because 1 year of medical school debt is a lot less than 4 years of debt, but whatever you have from undergrad, plus ~$50k give or take for a year of medical school (with interest) isn't all that easy to get rid of without a reasonable job
 
Before proceeding consider this: I graduated medical school in 1981, residency, private practice, and wrote. It took seven years to get an agent, and another two to have my first novel published. That was over 32 books ago, 10 screenplays, and 2 features as executive producer. Fortunately I maintained the discipline of writing two-three hours a day, editing, and going across country frequently. Work in the arts is scarce, and dedication to my surgical practice (retired), rewarding, taxing, and fulfilling. Quitting medicine would have been foolish. Govern yourself accordingly.
 
If you've never trained in any specific art form at a significant level (bachelors or higher), then you have no idea what the arts are like, or how difficult it is to be successful and financially independent as an artist. & that's if you're actually talented and know all of the right people. If that's your backup plan, it's not good enough.
 
I left one professional program for medicine because I knew that I would not be happy with anything less. I knew during the previous program that happiness would never come to me in that role. With that said, have a plan, not a goal.
 
What kind of loans will you have if you stay? I know kids in my class who are lucky that they won't have very many loans and plan on working part time, which is great because you will still be making an upper middle class salary and will have time to do art
 
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doctor_x10050 said:
Hi everyone I'm an MS1 toward the end of his first year.

I know deep inside that my main attraction to medical school was to offset this panic that if I didn't pursue medicine I would be "wasting my life", "wasting my potential" and that I "Should become a doctor". Within all those feelings is this tremendous feeling of fear associated with becoming a doctor and shame associated with the repercussions of my (many times fantasized) going away from it.

Maybe pursuing this career was actually a (genuine) mistake that I am just realizing now that there isn't really an escape. I know that many medical students feel this way. But despite the clinical training and information I have learned so far I feel like life is really dark and medicine is an incredibly stressful, anxiety provoking, all encompassing experience. Last night I had this epiphany that if I pursued music, art, and innovation (areas of interest I have always had) I would truly be going where my heart is. I know I can be a great artist and innovator. Maybe I just have no idea who I am anymore. But I feel silly having the thought of acting on these other aspirations and feel panicked that if I were to leave medical school to pursue something completely different I would instantly regret it. There is also the idea in my head that other medical student are good at everything that I can do and I would just be kidding myself if I decided to leave to pursue something stupid like that. And that, I could do both.

Before making any major moves, I want to think this over really really hard. I want to know what people think about this common advise: "Don't quit. Just keep going until you get your MD, most people will eventually figure out what specialty they want to go into and the worst part is actually the beginning.", "Don't quit grad school.", "It gets better.", and "you can still have a medical career and do other things on the side". A haunting thought of mine is that life outside medicine is not really different in the way I think it may be. That pursuing something I may truly love, fully pursuing it, is something that is useless, because I can just do it while I am in the medical field.
I also want to know what people think about this: "If you truly don't feel passionate about medicine, quit now. It is better to quit sooner than later."

What is the turning point. What gives? At what point do you just decide to pack up and leave? Am I foolish to walk away before receiving my MD degree, or should I just go for the MD and then drop it? Isn't doing that more of a waste of time and money though? What if I actually do not like this profession at all and I have only convinced myself that I like it? These kinds of questions are what I think of every day, multiple times per day, because I feel like I have been lost for the longest time.
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I've had many of these thoughts before. Partly due to unexpected personal problems that came up and partly because I hadn't yet bumped into what I liked yet. I spent my first two years just milling through classes not really getting that excited abt anything, often wondering wtf I was doing in medicine. The only thing that kept me going was my research (my mentor was awesome) and the hope that I would like something in 3rd year. While most of third year was exhausting, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed being at the hospital on almost all my rotations. However, it was really during surgery I thought I could do this forever. But also, I feel the same way-I feel like my creative side has somewhat been stifled in med school. THIS IS NOT PERMANENT and is somewhat of a choice-I gave up doing a lot of things I truly enjoyed due to time constraints. But there are plenty of innovators, policy makers, musicians, digital media docs, journalists, etc who are physicians. I wouldn't worry that this is not possible, I find it more the exception to the rule that someone doesn't have something cool going on as an add on or an aside to medicine. I am not the most passionate about med school/being a doc-there are other things that move me that I want to be involved in and my goal is to incorporate that into my career.

I would stick with it for now. Try to shadow a bit (I never did tbh but who knows you might like it) and find good mentorship (this is sooooo key) in a field you might possibly be into.
 
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doctor_x10050 said:
Hi everyone I'm an MS1 toward the end of his first year.

I know deep inside that my main attraction to medical school was to offset this panic that if I didn't pursue medicine I would be "wasting my life", "wasting my potential" and that I "Should become a doctor". Within all those feelings is this tremendous feeling of fear associated with becoming a doctor and shame associated with the repercussions of my (many times fantasized) going away from it.

Maybe pursuing this career was actually a (genuine) mistake that I am just realizing now that there isn't really an escape. I know that many medical students feel this way. But despite the clinical training and information I have learned so far I feel like life is really dark and medicine is an incredibly stressful, anxiety provoking, all encompassing experience. Last night I had this epiphany that if I pursued music, art, and innovation (areas of interest I have always had) I would truly be going where my heart is. I know I can be a great artist and innovator. Maybe I just have no idea who I am anymore. But I feel silly having the thought of acting on these other aspirations and feel panicked that if I were to leave medical school to pursue something completely different I would instantly regret it. There is also the idea in my head that other medical student are good at everything that I can do and I would just be kidding myself if I decided to leave to pursue something stupid like that. And that, I could do both.

Before making any major moves, I want to think this over really really hard. I want to know what people think about this common advise: "Don't quit. Just keep going until you get your MD, most people will eventually figure out what specialty they want to go into and the worst part is actually the beginning.", "Don't quit grad school.", "It gets better.", and "you can still have a medical career and do other things on the side". A haunting thought of mine is that life outside medicine is not really different in the way I think it may be. That pursuing something I may truly love, fully pursuing it, is something that is useless, because I can just do it while I am in the medical field.
I also want to know what people think about this: "If you truly don't feel passionate about medicine, quit now. It is better to quit sooner than later."

What is the turning point. What gives? At what point do you just decide to pack up and leave? Am I foolish to walk away before receiving my MD degree, or should I just go for the MD and then drop it? Isn't doing that more of a waste of time and money though? What if I actually do not like this profession at all and I have only convinced myself that I like it? These kinds of questions are what I think of every day, multiple times per day, because I feel like I have been lost for the longest time.
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Do not leave. 95% chance that you will regret it for the rest of your life and there's nothing you'd be able to do about it. Get through med school and residency, and then you're free to do whatever you desire. You'll also have an insanely lucrative side job to get you through your inevitable starving artist phase.
 
Trust me. I have been a musician for 10 years, semi-professionally for 8. You will put a ton of work and time into it without much of a yield at the end of the day, especially if you decide to play completely original music for a living. It takes years of concerted effort to even marginally profit from those abilities and creations. It is fulfilling, but don’t think for one second that it is easy and not stressful. There are other fulfilling professions which are practical and stable as well. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it, but I would really think hard about the future job security you would be giving up in pursuit of the arts.
 
Lol @ people thinking other careers are easier. I will say this... I didn't realize that medical school would be such a constant grind. There is always something to do or a test looming over your head... it gets exhausting after a while.

-MS1
 
You can drop out of med school for a 1% chance of becoming a Carl Icahn or Jay Sean (both med school drop-outs), and a 99% chance of becoming a Starbucks barista or full-time Uber driver.

Or you can stay in medical school for a 1% chance of becoming a Ken Jeong or Michael Crichton (both med school graduates), and a 99% chance of becoming a practicing physician.

For some reason, the latter option sounds more appealing to me.
 
Pursued music prior to pursuing medicine, it is a tough row to hoe. If you are interested in innovation and art, perhaps a suggestion- consider shadowing a surgical subspecialty?

I have worked as an MA/scribe in ortho, a lot of the modern surgeries including superior capsular reconstructions, hip resurfacing, etc is incredibly innovative and, to some, artistic, as you are essentially reworking human anatomy with designed components/materials to function again.

An even more "artistic" goal would be plastics/reconstruction. If you found a burning passion for this and were able to match (I believe you said you're at an MD school so the opportunity should be as open to you as anybody), you could do some pretty incredibly stuff for trauma/burn victims, or get real weird with the cosmetic side of things.

I haven't even started M1 yet, but I do have experience with the music industry, and am way happier pursuing/working in medicine.
 
Osminog said:
You can drop out of med school for a 1% chance of becoming a Carl Icahn or Jay Sean (both med school drop-outs), and a 99% chance of becoming a Starbucks barista or full-time Uber driver.

Or you can stay in medical school for a 1% chance of becoming a Ken Jeong or Michael Crichton (both med school graduates), and a 99% chance of becoming a practicing physician.

For some reason, the latter option sounds more appealing to me.
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You are being generous with your odds ..1% sounds really high.
 
People on here like to say that you shouldn't go to med school unless you could be content in a primary care specialty. Likewise, I would offer that you shouldn't pursue music unless you would be content spending all day teaching snotty kids who don't practice and don't care for $30k and no/crappy benefits.
 
Do you have a solid portfolio of work that would impress experts in your given field? Were you recruited by a top notch arts school (Julliard? Berkeley? NYU Tisch?) Do you have connections? What is your game plan once you leave? Will you be happy if you never "make it big"? (Statistically you won't)

I probably share many of the same interests as you do artistically, but I also realized a while ago that art & music will always be there. A career in medicine won't if you walk out those doors.
 
It seems pretty clear to me that OP is looking for a way out. Obviously no one can predict if a career in the arts would be viable but if you're not into medicine then you should really leave now. There's a mindset that once you get in you should stay in no matter what and I really disagree. All you'll end up with is a lot of regret for sticking with something that doesn't truly make you happy. This is something I've sadly seen firsthand and it's not worth it. If you don't truly want to be a doctor do not put yourself through the struggle of getting through med school, residency, etc. only to find you still don't want to be a doctor and you're stuck in a career you don't want.
 
prettylittlebird said:
It seems pretty clear to me that OP is looking for a way out. Obviously no one can predict if a career in the arts would be viable but if you're not into medicine then you should really leave now. There's a mindset that once you get in you should stay in no matter what and I really disagree. All you'll end up with is a lot of regret for sticking with something that doesn't truly make you happy. This is something I've sadly seen firsthand and it's not worth it. If you don't truly want to be a doctor do not put yourself through the struggle of getting through med school, residency, etc. only to find you still don't want to be a doctor and you're stuck in a career you don't want.
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I second this. If you're really not feeling medicine, or are realizing it wasn't even really something you wanted in the first place, get out now. For real. The most exciting time for me was just starting medical school and feeling like i made it. And at that time I felt already 100% sure about medicine. The stress of school and residency will wear that away, and if you're already feeling anxious about leaving now the odds are not good that you'll ever truly enjoy it enough to make you feel comfortable you didn't give up an otherwise more fulfilling life outside of medicine.
 
pandahunter said:
I second this. If you're really not feeling medicine, or are realizing it wasn't even really something you wanted in the first place, get out now. For real. The most exciting time for me was just starting medical school and feeling like i made it. And at that time I felt already 100% sure about medicine. The stress of school and residency will wear that away, and if you're already feeling anxious about leaving now the odds are not good that you'll ever truly enjoy it enough to make you feel comfortable you didn't give up an otherwise more fulfilling life outside of medicine.
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As a counterpoint, MS1 is a pretty poor approximation of what life is like as a physician. Hell, MS3-4 were pretty poor approximations too. My life is pretty damn good right now and I'm not sure I'd have really understood that while slogging my way to the library every day or ass kissing on the wards a decade ago.
 
doctor_x10050 said:
I also want to know what people think about this: "If you truly don't feel passionate about medicine, quit now. It is better to quit sooner than later."
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This is in a way one the worst pieces of advice here/reddit/pre-med community in general. You'll probably never enjoy medicine as much as one of your true hobbies, I certainly don't love it as much as I love sports, video games, etc

At the end of the day, it's a job and it's a lucrative one so it's very competitive. It's going to be stressful/miserable/etc. Even some athletes get worn down by the grind despite sports commonly being something people can truly enjoy/love

Unless you know someone that can accurately appraise your art talents, just let your hobbies be hobbies and get through the grind. That's how it is for most people
 
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Goro said:
Why do I have a strong suspicion that OP, if not trolling, will be just as frustrated with an art or music career?????

All that hard work and NOW you decide that this isn't what you wanted to do? All that patient contact work wasn't a sign of what to (not) do??? What did you think that you were getting into??
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I think your assumption that the OP is trolling or a coinsistantly disssatisfied individual is far off mark. I am a current medical student (2nd year) and am having the same thoughts (what led me this forum). Before medical school I was an X-ray tech at a hospital for 10 years. Thousands of hours of patient contact could not prepare anyone for the seclusion nor the mental and emotional deterioration of medical school. According to JAMA, approx 30% of medical students suffer from major depression, with 1/10 experiencing suicidal thoughts. Looking forward, I keep considering the 5-7 years of training I have left (including residency which is indeed still much a student-in-training experience) and wonder, considering my level of satisfaction at my current juncture, will I be satisfied a year from now? 3? 5? Is it better to call it now and try my hand at something that gives me incredible joy (a job in the music industry, though not as a musician) or to ride out the current path and have a successful but possibly dissatisfying career for the next 30 years? These thoughts are normal for medial students, and I think being dismissive or mocking of them is cruel.
 
Debb said:
I think your assumption that the OP is trolling or a coinsistantly disssatisfied individual is far off mark. I am a current medical student (2nd year) and am having the same thoughts (what led me this forum). Before medical school I was an X-ray tech at a hospital for 10 years. Thousands of hours of patient contact could not prepare anyone for the seclusion nor the mental and emotional deterioration of medical school. According to JAMA, approx 30% of medical students suffer from major depression, with 1/10 experiencing suicidal thoughts. Looking forward, I keep considering the 5-7 years of training I have left (including residency which is indeed still much a student-in-training experience) and wonder, considering my level of satisfaction at my current juncture, will I be satisfied a year from now? 3? 5? Is it better to call it now and try my hand at something that gives me incredible joy (a job in the music industry, though not as a musician) or to ride out the current path and have a successful but possibly dissatisfying career for the next 30 years? These thoughts are normal for medial students, and I think being dismissive or mocking of them is cruel.
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Did you even bother to read the OP's post?

Did you note that the OP joined in 2016, and waited until 2/2018 to post?

Did you note that the OP made only a single post in all this time?

Did you really have to resurrect a five month old post just to drop a snowflake bomb on us on how offended you are?

Stay away from NYC.

Being a Faculty member at a med school, I take student mental health issues very seriously.

Rx: develop better trolldar.
Which sock puppet are you?
 
I hear concerns like this frequently from medical students who are frustrated and want to quit... if you genuinely do want to quit, make sure you have another opportunity lined up. "pursing music" is not really an opportunity that has a high likelihood of panning out to be something. If you can see yourself doing something outside of medicine and can develop a plan that you are willing to execute, then you should consider it. 3 more years is going to cost you six digits, and if you do not want to practice, it will be difficult to recoup that investment. On the flip side since you are already down roughly 50k, you could finish up, do a residency, practice for x number of years until you break even, and then pursue something you are more passionate about... or you can do rads and work 3 months out of the year and spend the rest of the time pursuing your interests
 
You spent years preparing and exposing yourself to medicine doing hard work which should have confirmed your passion or desire to work in medicine.

What in the first year could make a person dislike medicine?

It is not rotations years. What could make MS1 dislike being a physician? Science coursework?
 
It's too bad nobody really knows what clinical medicine is like until one actually goes through it.

I can sum up your decision along three points:

1. MS1 is not what clinical medicine is like.
2. Training is really hard. Ask yourself if you can endure these (likely worsening) conditions for at least six more years. More for certain specialties.
3. Waiting to find out what clinical medicine is like will lock you into this career (debt accumulation).
 
I'm not sure if the OP is trolling, because nobody has a freaking epiphany that they will become the new Lady Gaga as a reason to leave medical school.

On the off chance that he/she isn't - consider that if you do quit, you are throwing away any chance in the future of coming back if you regret your decision. Nobody re-admits people to medical school after they change their mind (unless you go to the Caribbean, etc). I frequently had thoughts in MS1 which amounted to "**** it", but it did get better over time.

If you have another degree to fall back on in a field you enjoyed (engineering, finance, etc) that's another story. I know someone who quit residency after 4 months and went back to biomedical engineering.
 
doctor_x10050 said:
Hi everyone I'm an MS1 toward the end of his first year.

I know deep inside that my main attraction to medical school was to offset this panic that if I didn't pursue medicine I would be "wasting my life", "wasting my potential" and that I "Should become a doctor". Within all those feelings is this tremendous feeling of fear associated with becoming a doctor and shame associated with the repercussions of my (many times fantasized) going away from it.

Maybe pursuing this career was actually a (genuine) mistake that I am just realizing now that there isn't really an escape. I know that many medical students feel this way. But despite the clinical training and information I have learned so far I feel like life is really dark and medicine is an incredibly stressful, anxiety provoking, all encompassing experience. Last night I had this epiphany that if I pursued music, art, and innovation (areas of interest I have always had) I would truly be going where my heart is. I know I can be a great artist and innovator. Maybe I just have no idea who I am anymore. But I feel silly having the thought of acting on these other aspirations and feel panicked that if I were to leave medical school to pursue something completely different I would instantly regret it. There is also the idea in my head that other medical student are good at everything that I can do and I would just be kidding myself if I decided to leave to pursue something stupid like that. And that, I could do both.
Click to expand...

Matt Damon Voice: "you don't hear much about guys who take their shot and miss, I'll tell you what happens to them: they end up humping crappy jobs on grave yard shifts, trying to figure out how they came up short."

In terms of competitiveness, medicine is a joke compared to music/art. Just imagine - you could be sitting in a windowless room in the basement of some old building, practicing 6-8 hours every single day for years and years, hoping that someday you might be good enough to compete with literally 1000 other people for 1 job that just became vacant for the first time in 20 years that pays $80k. In the meantime you'll also teach bratty kids of doctors who look down on you because you aren't a doctor, who never practice and don't care about music, and you'll take crappy gigs playing in the back of some un-air-conditioned / fire hazard community theater pit for $50 a night. Maybe you go on tour and drive around in a crappy van that's too small and your gear gets stolen outside of a venue where you have to fight with the owner to get paid the $140 you were supposed to get for the night.

Then you develop some health problem and you realize, hey, having money would be nice. Maybe it'd be nice to have something other than rice and beans for dinner too.

I hate to break it to you but if you're >20 and haven't organically found yourself in a career of "music, art, and innovation", I would bet a year of my future salary that you don't have it in you to be "a great artist". They say there's plenty of room at the top, and plenty of room at the bottom - it's the middle that's crowded. If you aren't a prodigy, most likely you'll find yourself in the middle. You can make it work and make a living, but it's a tough way to go and you'll have to scrape the bottom while you're at it.

Alternatively, you can go to medical school, sit on your thumb doing flashcards for a few hours a day, be pretty much guaranteed to make >$200k some day, and fund your own musical/artistic/innovative endeavors on your own terms.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.
 
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WingedOx said:
As a counterpoint, MS1 is a pretty poor approximation of what life is like as a physician. Hell, MS3-4 were pretty poor approximations too. My life is pretty damn good right now and I'm not sure I'd have really understood that while slogging my way to the library every day or ass kissing on the wards a decade ago.
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Even being a resident is better than the first 4 years even though you're working long hours for minimum wage.... You are no longer the annoying kid that everyone is trying to avoid.

I think it's ok for OP to leave now since he/she is a MS1, but I probably won't encourage anyone to leave after MS2.
 
W19 said:
Even being a resident is better than the first 4 years even though you're working long hours for minimum wage.... You are no longer the annoying kid that everyone is trying to avoid.

I think it's ok for OP to leave now since he/she is a MS1, but I probably won't encourage anyone to leave after MS2.
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What you have to say on this forum, after you posted that thread about intern year, carries A LOT more weight to it.
 
Goro said:
Did you even bother to read the OP's post?

Did you note that the OP joined in 2016, and waited until 2/2018 to post?

Did you note that the OP made only a single post in all this time?

Did you really have to resurrect a five month old post just to drop a snowflake bomb on us on how offended you are?

Stay away from NYC.

Being a Faculty member at a med school, I take student mental health issues very seriously.

Rx: develop better trolldar.
Which sock puppet are you?
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268x0w.jpg
 
These posts are really more of a “life’s not rainbows and butterflies” realization than a“medical school is not the path for me”. This is actually a good thing OP. You’re becoming more in touch with the realities of stress at a younger age. This is a learning point, one of many. Are you going to develop coping skills and stick through it or quit and then have the same dilemma a couple years from now?

Our culture has gotten too soft. Sack up.
 
Gurby said:
Matt Damon Voice: "you don't hear much about guys who take their shot and miss, I'll tell you what happens to them: they end up humping crappy jobs on grave yard shifts, trying to figure out how they came up short."

In terms of competitiveness, medicine is a joke compared to music/art. Just imagine - you could be sitting in a windowless room in the basement of some old building, practicing 6-8 hours every single day for years and years, hoping that someday you might be good enough to compete with literally 1000 other people for 1 job that just became vacant for the first time in 20 years that pays $80k. In the meantime you'll also teach bratty kids of doctors who look down on you because you aren't a doctor, who never practice and don't care about music, and you'll take crappy gigs playing in the back of some un-air-conditioned / fire hazard community theater pit for $50 a night. Maybe you go on tour and drive around in a crappy van that's too small and your gear gets stolen outside of a venue where you have to fight with the owner to get paid the $140 you were supposed to get for the night.

Then you develop some health problem and you realize, hey, having money would be nice. Maybe it'd be nice to have something other than rice and beans for dinner too.

I hate to break it to you but if you're >20 and haven't organically found yourself in a career of "music, art, and innovation", I would bet a year of my future salary that you don't have it in you to be "a great artist". They say there's plenty of room at the top, and plenty of room at the bottom - it's the middle that's crowded. If you aren't a prodigy, most likely you'll find yourself in the middle. You can make it work and make a living, but it's a tough way to go and you'll have to scrape the bottom while you're at it.

Alternatively, you can go to medical school, sit on your thumb doing flashcards for a few hours a day, be pretty much guaranteed to make >$200k some day, and fund your own musical/artistic/innovative endeavors on your own terms.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.
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That last paragraph = my life aspiration at this point. And also I would add that I know a few musical prodigies, and they are still laying down those licks night after night in a dingy, sticky bar after years of hard work trying to climb to the top. Even with the best of us, you can’t really expect everyone to just love you. Your kind of stuck trying to capture lightening in a bottle in perpetuity. Music is just not a practical field to go into for a living. And I LOVE performing live, writing music, and recording.
 
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Gurby said:
Alternatively, you can go to medical school, sit on your thumb doing flashcards for a few hours a day, be pretty much guaranteed to make >$200k some day, and fund your own musical/artistic/innovative endeavors on your own terms.
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This, vs. the old saw of "If you can see yourself doing anything else, do that. I've been a musician since 3rd grade. I was even a music major at the start out of high school. That's where I found out that the thing I do for fun is not the thing I want to do for a living. I don't want work life to ruin the fun I had. What music was, as a field of study, was anything but fun for me. It was not interesting. Bach fugues and Gregorian chant theory made going to class suuuuuuuuck. I hated it.
Here's a tidbit to carry with you: The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
 
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Raney Schauer said:
This, vs. the old saw of "If you can see yourself doing anything else, do that. I've been a musician since 3rd grade. I was even a music major at the start out of high school. That's where I found out that the thing I do for fun is not the thing I want to do for a living. I don't want work life to ruin the fun I had. What music was, as a field of study, was anything but fun for me. It was not interesting. Bach fugues and Gregorian chant theory made going to class suuuuuuuuck. I hated it.
Here's a tidbit to carry with you: The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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^
This.
 
pandahunter said:
I think that is fair advice to someone who was initially very much set on becoming a physician for the love of medicine but is anxious about what a life in medicine/training entails. However, it sounds like the OP is someone who was never truly interested in medicine and pursued it this far because he/she could. If that is indeed the case, I wouldn't advise sticking through with it for the sake of finishing med school on the off chance medicine really is the thing OP has longed for. All signs so far point to the opposite. And med school/residency is a tremendous monetary and personal sacrifice for someone who's not going to be all in.

This is coming from a graduating senior resident who is, in general, happy with my decision to go to med school.
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I agree, I read it this way too. There are plenty of stable jobs outside medicine (which may/may not be in an arts-related field but might give you more free time for a side gig) so I think if the issue is more dissatisfaction with med school specifically then you’re only a year in so may as well quit now than when you’re more in debt. If you have no/little actual interest in medicine it’s A LOT just to do for a “good job”.
 
I'm interested in seeing where the OP is at right now.

As for medical school, there's legitimate reasons to quit while you're ahead. One of the biggest myths about medical school is that US schools are so supportive that they will do everything to keep you in. Actually, sometimes the support is just not there, whether it be for academic or health reasons. For all the talk about patient care and compassion, you'll eventually find out that that's just lip service. There's a lot of hypocrisy in medicine, and at least some of your classmates are genuinely bad people who couldn't give two ****s about the patients they treat. Or anyone else for that matter (other than themselves and living a posh lifestyle).

Your life isn't over if you decide to quit, and the debt burden isn't necessarily a large millstone about your neck if you leave within the first two years after deciding medicine isn't for you. It isn't like on Reddit where people unironically suggested a medical school drop-out commit suicide or "flee the country."
 
Greetings. I am the OP.
I received an email notification earlier (from El-Rami’s reply post) and hence I am here after having completely forgotten about this thread. I want to be a voice for people who have doubts and hopefully give them some consolation.

Looking back on my message and all these comments remind me of what it was like in that time and my narrow outlook on life, etc. For those with good intentions, thank you for your time making a helpful reply to a stranger that you really know nothing about, aside from a naive sounding comment. From a place of clarity I now recall how (truly) desperate I was at that moment and how it was bad enough I came to post my struggles online and ask complete strangers for help (I do not normally post in online forums). I am really grateful for your replies.

I have happily left medicine on my own accord and am now pursuing a career in engineering. After copious amounts of research and interviewing others in the field (and now working in it for a while) I have come to see that it is a place where I can combine my passion for learning, my love of doing art, and my altruism, into one career. In engineering I am one of the top students, have gotten A’s in all of my courses, and am a role model for others. I am so relieved that I decided to leave medicine because I see and understand that I pursued the career for the wrong reasons and it most definitely is not who I am. (In my free time I continue studying medicine because I really want to know the information; now I have the added benefit of having mental space to truly understand and appreciate all the knowledge instead of forcing it through crammed, panicked learning).

I want other people to know, having come to this forum with doubts of their own, medicine can drown your life and your sanity if you are not passionate about it and that’s what it did for me. I had completely lost sight of who I am.

Changing your career is most certainly executable and leaving medicine does not mean you are wasting your life, giving up an opportunity, throwing money away, or making a foolish move so long as you are acting in accordance with your genuine, keen inner knowledge and you PLAN your future. I have really big plans for my life. The world is a huge place with diverse people (some of which don’t even know what an EKG is, mind you) and it can be traversed so long as you are open minded enough to embrace all the facets. Other careers are not of “lesser caliber” than medicine (that is a societal construct) and to a substantial degree, medicine definitely does not entail all that it boasts nor does it deserve the lofty status it has attained as a profession. Yes, doctors save lives, but there are plenty of ways to save lives through other professions as well (I don’t need to list them).

I have learned a ton from my time as a medical student, about the human body as much as about myself and I am grateful I had the experience. It can add a whole lot of opportunity to your life provided you use it cleverly (there’s no way “having been a medical student” can be taken in a negative light, if you decide to leave). So for anyone having doubts or regret, this is your life and you don’t get to do it over again. Plan what you want to do and have reasoning behind it that comes from yourself, make sure it’s practically attainable, and it will be the best decision you can make. That goes for pursuing medicine as well.
Best of luck to you, and best wishes, OP.
 
doctor_x10050 said:
Greetings. I am the OP.
I received an email notification earlier (from El-Rami’s reply post) and hence I am here after having completely forgotten about this thread. I want to be a voice for people who have doubts and hopefully give them some consolation.

Looking back on my message and all these comments remind me of what it was like in that time and my narrow outlook on life, etc. For those with good intentions, thank you for your time making a helpful reply to a stranger that you really know nothing about, aside from a naive sounding comment. From a place of clarity I now recall how (truly) desperate I was at that moment and how it was bad enough I came to post my struggles online and ask complete strangers for help (I do not normally post in online forums). I am really grateful for your replies.

I have happily left medicine on my own accord and am now pursuing a career in engineering. After copious amounts of research and interviewing others in the field (and now working in it for a while) I have come to see that it is a place where I can combine my passion for learning, my love of doing art, and my altruism, into one career. In engineering I am one of the top students, have gotten A’s in all of my courses, and am a role model for others. I am so relieved that I decided to leave medicine because I see and understand that I pursued the career for the wrong reasons and it most definitely is not who I am. (In my free time I continue studying medicine because I really want to know the information; now I have the added benefit of having mental space to truly understand and appreciate all the knowledge instead of forcing it through crammed, panicked learning).

I want other people to know, having come to this forum with doubts of their own, medicine can drown your life and your sanity if you are not passionate about it and that’s what it did for me. I had completely lost sight of who I am.

Changing your career is most certainly executable and leaving medicine does not mean you are wasting your life, giving up an opportunity, throwing money away, or making a foolish move so long as you are acting in accordance with your genuine, keen inner knowledge and you PLAN your future. I have really big plans for my life. The world is a huge place with diverse people (some of which don’t even know what an EKG is, mind you) and it can be traversed so long as you are open minded enough to embrace all the facets. Other careers are not of “lesser caliber” than medicine (that is a societal construct) and to a substantial degree, medicine definitely does not entail all that it boasts nor does it deserve the lofty status it has attained as a profession. Yes, doctors save lives, but there are plenty of ways to save lives through other professions as well (I don’t need to list them).

I have learned a ton from my time as a medical student, about the human body as much as about myself and I am grateful I had the experience. It can add a whole lot of opportunity to your life provided you use it cleverly (there’s no way “having been a medical student” can be taken in a negative light, if you decide to leave). So for anyone having doubts or regret, this is your life and you don’t get to do it over again. Plan what you want to do and have reasoning behind it that comes from yourself, make sure it’s practically attainable, and it will be the best decision you can make. That goes for pursuing medicine as well.
Best of luck to you, and best wishes, OP.
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I'm glad you were able to find something that made you happy. I was being slightly hyperbolic about the character of my peers, but having seen some of the callous attitudes of my peers as well as the inherent problems in medicine regarding physician and medical student support (or the lack thereof) in terms of mental health, it gives me a rather jaded impression of the entire profession as a whole.
 
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