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Sounds like ya answered your own question.Hello everyone! I am a current 2nd year med student, and I wanted to share my story on my med school journey and why I believe it's best for me to quit. Ultimately, the decision is mine, but I just wanted to see if I can get some other recommendations. So here goes...
If I had to do medical school over again, I definitely wouldn't. But then you might be wondering, why are you even there right now? During undergrad, I was confused on what I should pursue. My grades in the beginning weren't that great, but I started improving. When I was sure I was improving, I switched my major to biology because I wanted to maximize my chances of getting an even better GPA. My grades were so good in fact, that I would consistently be in the top 10 percent. This fueled my desire to become a physician, the fact that I was better than everyone else, which is a completely wrong way of thinking. I also thought that once I got into med school, things would be difficult, but at least I would have a clear path towards becoming a physician. In order to ensure that I would succeed, I decided to get myself diagnosed right before med school (they found I had ADHD). I got extra time for my exams and was prescribed adderall.
About a month into med school, I realized this truly wasn't for me (even with the accommodations and adderall), due to both my ADHD as well as my upperclassmen friends who were stressed to the limit, wishing they pursued something else. I thought about quitting every single hour I kid you not. I spoke with friends, family, therapists (multiple), and other docs. They recommended that I continue. Besides, I couldn't really do anything else with my bio degree. And back then, I thought I could push through, although I would suffer. And plus, even though I struggled, I did end up passing my first year, which I was proud of!
This past summer, I developed a plan to study for boards and my medical school content. However, this year, my depression and ADHD symptoms heightened to a new extreme, in a way I was not expecting at all. I found it hard to sit down and study, even things as simple as talking with others were now difficult. I shut myself out from my friends and was miserable. I couldn't hide my emotions in front of others and people around me started asking me if I was okay. But I was fine with this, as long as I passed my courses.
But here's what I'm not "fine" with: During my first year, I was able to hide my continuous forgetfulness and lack of ability to interact with others to some extent. But now, as we have more and more clinical exams, my symptoms began to show more. For example, my school has clinical exams on standardized patients. During my exam, my ADHD symptoms really showed. I wasn't able to recall certain details about the patient's history shortly after they were mentioned to me, I froze when counseling the patient, I was unable to form words, and my diagnosis was incorrect. My evaluator was kind and gave me specific recommendations on what to do. She had me repeat my exam again. I improved, but literally forgot about one of the recommendations she gave me! It was as if I could not be helped no matter what. I explained that I got scared and forgot. She nodded but looked at me like I was crazy. Additionally, I feel that I have ruined my reputation with her and other staff members as well, although I tried my hardest not to. ) :
Since I started med school, I knew it wasn't for me, but I thought that if I worked hard enough I would get through. But after that clinical exam, I realized that I legit cannot do it no matter what. My severe ADHD will cause me to make mistakes, forget drug interactions, forget labs, not know what to do or do it fast enough, and worse of all, put my future patient's lives in danger. In addition, my patients and staff members will see my ADHD symptoms as I cannot hide these no matter how hard I try. Not to mention, residency gets harder from what I hear.
And as you might be able to tell, I don't like to quit no matter what. Only when I absolutely need to I will, which now I think it's pretty clear that I should.
I should've shadowed more doctors and looked at other careers. I should've chosen an easy career path. I shouldn't have even started med school. I should've quit after my 1st semester, after my 2nd semester. And then next year and in residency I will wish I had quit earlier.
I could try other treatments for depression and ADHD, but I have realized that my primary issue is me not able to cognitively process info properly. My adderall did not help and I believe no amount of medication will help with this either.
So this is what I've decided. I am going to take an LOA with the option to return for my 2nd year with the class below me. During this time, I will try for a lab tech position or something else and work to pay my parents off who have this whole time, generously paid my tuition. I will most likely not return for my 2nd year. I wish it wouldn't come to this, but it feels like it's the right thing to do.
If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for listening to my story. I realize that I know myself the best, and at the end of the day, I will have to make the decision myself. But if any of you have recommendations on what I should do, I'm all ears. ( : Any opinions would be much appreciated.
Yeah, it's time to do something else. Good luckHello everyone! I am a current 2nd year med student, and I wanted to share my story on my med school journey and why I believe it's best for me to quit. Ultimately, the decision is mine, but I just wanted to see if I can get some other recommendations. So here goes...
If I had to do medical school over again, I definitely wouldn't. But then you might be wondering, why are you even there right now? During undergrad, I was confused on what I should pursue. My grades in the beginning weren't that great, but I started improving. When I was sure I was improving, I switched my major to biology because I wanted to maximize my chances of getting an even better GPA. My grades were so good in fact, that I would consistently be in the top 10 percent. This fueled my desire to become a physician, the fact that I was better than everyone else, which is a completely wrong way of thinking. I also thought that once I got into med school, things would be difficult, but at least I would have a clear path towards becoming a physician. In order to ensure that I would succeed, I decided to get myself diagnosed right before med school (they found I had ADHD). I got extra time for my exams and was prescribed adderall.
About a month into med school, I realized this truly wasn't for me (even with the accommodations and adderall), due to both my ADHD as well as my upperclassmen friends who were stressed to the limit, wishing they pursued something else. I thought about quitting every single hour I kid you not. I spoke with friends, family, therapists (multiple), and other docs. They recommended that I continue. Besides, I couldn't really do anything else with my bio degree. And back then, I thought I could push through, although I would suffer. And plus, even though I struggled, I did end up passing my first year, which I was proud of!
This past summer, I developed a plan to study for boards and my medical school content. However, this year, my depression and ADHD symptoms heightened to a new extreme, in a way I was not expecting at all. I found it hard to sit down and study, even things as simple as talking with others were now difficult. I shut myself out from my friends and was miserable. I couldn't hide my emotions in front of others and people around me started asking me if I was okay. But I was fine with this, as long as I passed my courses.
But here's what I'm not "fine" with: During my first year, I was able to hide my continuous forgetfulness and lack of ability to interact with others to some extent. But now, as we have more and more clinical exams, my symptoms began to show more. For example, my school has clinical exams on standardized patients. During my exam, my ADHD symptoms really showed. I wasn't able to recall certain details about the patient's history shortly after they were mentioned to me, I froze when counseling the patient, I was unable to form words, and my diagnosis was incorrect. My evaluator was kind and gave me specific recommendations on what to do. She had me repeat my exam again. I improved, but literally forgot about one of the recommendations she gave me! It was as if I could not be helped no matter what. I explained that I got scared and forgot. She nodded but looked at me like I was crazy. Additionally, I feel that I have ruined my reputation with her and other staff members as well, although I tried my hardest not to. ) :
Since I started med school, I knew it wasn't for me, but I thought that if I worked hard enough I would get through. But after that clinical exam, I realized that I legit cannot do it no matter what. My severe ADHD will cause me to make mistakes, forget drug interactions, forget labs, not know what to do or do it fast enough, and worse of all, put my future patient's lives in danger. In addition, my patients and staff members will see my ADHD symptoms as I cannot hide these no matter how hard I try. Not to mention, residency gets harder from what I hear.
And as you might be able to tell, I don't like to quit no matter what. Only when I absolutely need to I will, which now I think it's pretty clear that I should.
I should've shadowed more doctors and looked at other careers. I should've chosen an easy career path. I shouldn't have even started med school. I should've quit after my 1st semester, after my 2nd semester. And then next year and in residency I will wish I had quit earlier.
I could try other treatments for depression and ADHD, but I have realized that my primary issue is me not able to cognitively process info properly. My adderall did not help and I believe no amount of medication will help with this either.
So this is what I've decided. I am going to take an LOA with the option to return for my 2nd year with the class below me. During this time, I will try for a lab tech position or something else and work to pay my parents off who have this whole time, generously paid my tuition. I will most likely not return for my 2nd year. I wish it wouldn't come to this, but it feels like it's the right thing to do.
If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for listening to my story. I realize that I know myself the best, and at the end of the day, I will have to make the decision myself. But if any of you have recommendations on what I should do, I'm all ears. ( : Any opinions would be much appreciated.
Yea, that's part of it.ADHD is very treatable and response to stimulants is quite high, although im not fond of adderall and typically prescribe it as a third line (the XR formulation).
Desire is the part that is not treatable. I went through half of medical school trying not to treat ADHD- I would be in the library 12-15 hours a a day, every day, including holidays. This was because my studying wasn't done efficiently requiring me spend much more time than the average person to get the same result. However, I had a strong desire to finish and thats what kept me going and forced me to put in that sacrifice.
My point is, even if you adequately treat ADHD, without desire, you wont go far in this direction. I think you are deep down, questioning your desire for this.
I've seen it done.I know this is a question for my school, but are students able to transfer their med school credits towards a master's? Has this been done before?
I have seen a Masters given for two successful years in medical school (in situations like this).I know this is a question for my school, but are students able to transfer their med school credits towards a master's? Has this been done before?
If I had to do medical school over again, I definitely wouldn't.
During my first year, I was able to hide my continuous forgetfulness and lack of ability to interact with others to some extent. But now, as we have more and more clinical exams, my symptoms began to show more. For example, my school has clinical exams on standardized patients. During my exam, my ADHD symptoms really showed. I wasn't able to recall certain details about the patient's history shortly after they were mentioned to me, I froze when counseling the patient, I was unable to form words, and my diagnosis was incorrect.
I could try other treatments for depression and ADHD, but I have realized that my primary issue is me not able to cognitively process info properly. My adderall did not help and I believe no amount of medication will help with this either.
ADHD is very treatable and response to stimulants is quite high, although im not fond of adderall and typically prescribe it as a third line (the XR formulation).
Why aren't you fond of using Adderall XR as a first line med for *actual* ADHD? It's highly efficacious and cheap for *actual* ADHD. Perhaps you mean you aren't fond of prescribing Adderall to patients claiming to have ADHD who don't have ADHD?
First of all, I'd like to thank all of you for responding, especially NewtonPAC. It seriously is a sense of relief when I read your comments and feels as though I'm not stuck even though most of these days I feel as though I am.Fellow ADHD medical student. However I also have 5+ years of experience as a PA. Speaking to psychiatry mentors what I’ve learned about ADHD is it is more of serious psychiatric co-morbidity than we think. Its not just “I have to study harder to do well on test”. It is truly neurotransmitter deficiency much like depression or GAD. Except instead of a lack of seratonin, it is a lack of dopamine. It actually shares a lot of commonalities with bipolar disorder. So first thing first is you have to manage it. Which typically means getting on appropriate medications for many individuals, especially when in the rigors of medical school. I had a psychiatrist tell me you dont get an award when you dye for taking the least amount of stimulates. And the reason it isn’t abused is because it isnt covering up the underlying problem typically like benzos and opioids, it is actually solving the problem of decreased dopamine, just like SSRI cause the problem of decreased seratonin. Yes it has side effects, but so do SSRIs, but we give those out like they are candy. So never let anyone tell you are using medications like a crutch if they aren’t saying the same thing to their patients who take SSRIs. Also it is the only controlled substance where you are less likely to abuse other drugs if you use it and have ADHD. The rate of poly substance abuse in those with uncontrolled ADHD is upwards of 50%,significantly higher than those with ADHD on stimulates. Conversely the efficacy of stimulates in ADHD is upwards of 90%. Few if any other drugs are that efficacious with less adverse affects. However because society has labeled it a controlled substance, we label ADHD patients who benefit from its use just like MDD patients benefit from SSRIs. So again the data tells us stimulates are key, because they are treating the dopamine deficiency, not just covering up symptoms.
Second what I’ve learned about ADHD is kind of what I call the Ricky Bobby rule. You are either first or last. Meaning you are probably going to be really good or really bad at something. And you have probably experienced this. If you are passionate about something it clicks instantly and you can spend hours focused on a task. Conversely if you think something is stupid or you dont think its important it never clicks for you. Unfortuately the nature of medical school is you have to do a whole bunch of stupid ****, basically hazing, to earn the right to become a physician. Which is hard for everyone but even worse for those with ADHD, so I am not surprised you struggle, especially if you are not passionate about a particular topic. While everyone experiences this to a certain degree it usually derail their life like it can for someone with ADHD. I believe it is crucial that ADHD people find what drives them more than anyone else. You cannot be the average person that gets by. You are likely either going to excel or fail at a rate greater than the non-ADHD individual. However if you can find that thing you are passionate about, you can change the world.
So if there is something in medicine you are truly passionate about get on the right meds so you can survive medical school, try to find purpose even in the stupid ****, and you will make a great physician if you find that thing that your are really passionate about. If there’s nothing you are passionate about in medicine you owe it to yourself to quit if there’s something outside of medicine you are more passionate about pursuing. But I have a feeling if you got yourself into medical school (because even if you are only recently dx you have probably been dealing with your symptoms for decades) there is one thing you are passionate about. Or else you would not of made it to medical school. So I would encourage you to chase it and dont let the stuff you are bad at get you down, especially if you are not connected with a psychiatrist working with you to adequately treat your ADHD.
I leave you with one final story. i learned a few days ago the story of William Coley. He was a physician in the 1800s who figured out basically how to cure metastatic sarcoma in the late 1800s almost 50 years before we even had penicillin after hearing of someone who had recovered from stage 4 cancer and 7 years was still in remission after having a severe strep infection. He figured out the immune response that fought the infection could also fight the infection. Thus if he gave patients certain bacterial antigens, he could cure cancer, effectively creating the first rudimentary immunologic, that was actually quite successful considering the times. . Literally 50 years before we could even treat strep throat he figured out a curative therapy for stage 4 cancers that would not be rivaled for 100+ years while his colleagues were murdering people with arsenic. However he was chastized and made fun of as a physician despite publishing 150+ papers because he wasn’t the most organized and was so far ahead of his times. When he died in the 1930s he was a medical outcast. But his daughter went on to create the Cancer Research Institute which has been fundamental to saving millions of lives because of the work of her father. Now he is considered the father of immunology. And his theory is now responsible for the boom in immunologics we see today. I dont know if Dr. Coley had ADHD or not, but I would be willing to wager he did. Life isn’t always easy with ADHD. Society sees your weakness as greater than your strengths. But if you are committed and passionate about something, your strengths will long outlive your flaws. Stay motivated, most importantly chase your passion and you too will be remembered even if life seems hard at times.
Thank you for your response. I'm not sure if you have many details about consulting, but I did have a few questions that came to mind.I don’t know if you are going to continue pushing through, but if you continue forward and still do not like medicine down the road there are alternative careers you can go into with an MD or DO degree such as consulting. Maybe if you do continue you can start looking into non clinical careers. Many of these careers do not require residency.
my understanding is that there isnt a reason to do residency for all positions. theres a guy on the reddit who did that and answers questions people have.Thank you for your response. I'm not sure if you have many details about consulting, but I did have a few questions that came to mind.
I have heard from some folks that you need to at least complete intern year (1st year) of residency before you can get these jobs. Is this true?
Do I have to be licensed?
Are there jobs available for physicians in which they can work from home, telemed comes to mind, but what other options are there?
And lastly, are these jobs readily available?
But not really a total of 2 years because you have to complete an intern yearI would also look into occupational/preventive medicine if you're exploring non-patient facing avenues. Two year residency and you also work towards a MPH in the process.
True, it'll be hard to escape the suckage of intern year regardless of your path, but the two years after are regular business hours.But not really a total of 2 years because you have to complete an intern year
Welcome to being human. Good thing theres this thing called residency before you're allowed to care for patients w/o supervision.But after that clinical exam, I realized that I legit cannot do it no matter what. My severe ADHD will cause me to make mistakes, forget drug interactions, forget labs, not know what to do or do it fast enough, and worse of all, put my future patient's lives in danger.