Depressed, considering giving up or suicide!!

[mike1234594]

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Hello everyone, I have reached a blocked road and don't know what do right now. I have worked really hard for this and I feel like its the end. I am a premedical student in Texas and I am in my senior year. I am 22 years old and the ratio of my age to my accomplishments makes me feel that I am behind or maybe "old". I have a 3.9 GPA, great extracurricular/volunteer work and some research under my belt. My plan was to apply in 2013 for class of 2014 and it didn't happen due to my MCAT. I thought that I would apply in 2014 for the class of 2015 ,but it didn't happen either. I gave myself a last chance for this year's cycle but I screwed up my MCAT and ended up with a very low score.As you all know, the MCAt has changed and I didn't even start studying for it. I can see myself missing this cycle's application too. I am not hating here, but when I look at my friends who were in my high school, I can see that most of them who were premeds started medical school and they are either Med 1,2 and 3. Some of them already got accepted to plastic surgery residency programs and they are like 23 and 24. I can't see myself doing anything other than an MD/DO and thinking about an alternative makes me really depressed. Whenever I decide that I will start studying, those ideas start hunting me again and again until I get really tired and I would go to sleep. Even some of my premed friends in my college either started or got accepted. I am really happy for them but I am not happy about myself. I worked really hard to maintain high grades and spent numerous hours volunteering and shadowing physicians. I also developed some great leadership skills and I feel that it is game over right now. Sometimes I imagine if I killed myself and ended everything.I am afraid that I might end up in a McDonald drive thru or something. Any help is really appreciated guys.

 

[racerwad]

You need to speak to someone other than SDN about how you're feeling. We can't help you through a computer screen but you're not alone in the struggle.

 

[Hospitalized]

Stop comparing yourself to others. Read my signature.

Seek help for your depression.

 

[gutonc]

This thread has been reported by several users due to the comments about self-harm. SDN takes such statements seriously and we would like to remind the OP and all posters that SDN should not serve as a place to obtain counseling or other advice regarding significant psychological issues. Anyone who is contemplating harming themselves should immediately seek professional counseling advice, not rely on SDN or other non-professional resources.

Members who have serious concerns about their career and would like to post details more anonymously may do so in the Confidential Consult forum.

At this time, given the nature of the thread and the concerns expressed, the moderation staff of SDN will close this thread.