Depression and Vet School

[OneandDone]

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Really need some help/advice. Made a new account so I could post this thread anonymously. For background purposes: I'll be a first year student at a U.S. vet school this fall.

I've been suffering from (undiagnosed) depression for a few years now. Over the past year its gotten steadily worse to the point where the past 2-3 months have been almost completely unbearable. I know I need to seek professional help but that isn't an option right now. There are several reasons for this which I would prefer not to disclose here. The school I will be attending has some limited mental health resources available which I intend to take full advantage of when I get there, but until then I am on my own.

My biggest fear is that I will get to vet school and won't be able to handle the stress and the workload on top of my depression and will fail out. Current and past vet students dealing with mental health issues, how did you cope? Is there anything that helped you stay positive and on top of things?

Additionally, any recommendations that anyone can give to help me start getting better on my own until I can get professional help would be great. I'm willing to try anything. The constant negativity, self-hatred, and helplessness is ruining my life and my relationship with my SO. I don't know what to do. I just know I can't continue on this way. 🙁

 

[CanHardlyWait]

Really need some help/advice. Made a new account so I could post this thread anonymously. For background purposes: I'll be a first year student at a U.S. vet school this fall.

I've been suffering from (undiagnosed) depression for a few years now. Over the past year its gotten steadily worse to the point where the past 2-3 months have been almost completely unbearable. I know I need to seek professional help but that isn't an option right now. There are several reasons for this which I would prefer not to disclose here. The school I will be attending has some limited mental health resources available which I intend to take full advantage of when I get there, but until then I am on my own.

My biggest fear is that I will get to vet school and won't be able to handle the stress and the workload on top of my depression and will fail out. Current and past vet students dealing with mental health issues, how did you cope? Is there anything that helped you stay positive and on top of things?

Additionally, any recommendations that anyone can give to help me start getting better on my own until I can get professional help would be great. I'm willing to try anything. The constant negativity, self-hatred, and helplessness is ruining my life and my relationship with my SO. I don't know what to do. I just know I can't continue on this way. 🙁

I really think that if you can't get this under control before starting, seriously consider deferring. Vet school inherently causes some amount negative self talk and self doubt, especially at first. It's better to defer then fail out, or walk away because you can't cope. Find a way to get some help.
I don't know your situation, so I'm sorry if that seems harsh. I really wish you the best of luck.

 

[bbeventer]

I really think that if you can't get this under control before starting, seriously consider deferring. Vet school inherently causes some amount negative self talk and self doubt, especially at first. It's better to defer then fail out, or walk away because you can't cope. Find a way to get some help.
I don't know your situation, so I'm sorry if that seems harsh. I really wish you the best of luck.

Like CHW said, even with the soundest mind vet school has a way folding self doubt, stress, and anxiety together in a perfect combination to bring out issues of depression you never knew you had. Do you have insurance? Could you possibly see someone before you come to school to get on some meds and how that improves your situation?

I wish you the best of luck, these issues suck.

 

[psilovethomas]

I would highly recommending deferring until you can get your depression under control. Vet school is obviously very stressful and demands a lot of attention and time. I know it is very hard to focus, let alone learn, under the weight of depression. Honestly, if I were you, the last thing I would do is start vet school in the fall if you have not 1)received medical advice/treatment, or 2)met with a therapist. Vet school can send healthy people over the edge, and I don't think I want to find out what it could do to you. Please, get medical help when you can, and to talk the school about your health problems. They will understand.

 

[Goatmeister]

I'm not in vet school yet, but like you, I'll be starting in the fall. Also like you, I have depression. Mine's dysthymia with major depressive episodes (i.e., chronic low-grade depression with occasional full depressive episodes), which I've had for 10+ years. The main piece of advice I can give came to mind when you said you are posting anonymously.

Why?! Why must you be anonymous? Depression isn't nearly as stigmatized as it used to be, and you're more likely to feel comfortable getting help if you're at least somewhat open about it. Now, I don't mean wear a billboard or throw out your (un)diagnosis every time someone asks how you're doing, but just try to accept that a lot of people have it and have some understanding of what you're going through.

We can't really answer if you'll be able to pull through the first year—only you can make the judgment on that. It couldn't hurt to see if they'd allow a deferment. Medication probably won't help you in time for the start of semester, since it requires a lot of tinkering and switching meds to find the right one for you. However, talk therapy with a professional could certainly help you sort some things out in the meantime.

My advice for staying positive is more a bunch of little ideas, like make sure you get dressed every day (it makes a huge difference for me), listen to songs that give the message of pushing through hard times, and try to get at least some productivity in every day.

Side note: I watched a strong, he-is-the-one relationship of mine crumble because of my depression and my unwillingness to talk about it. He would have helped and stood by me, but I just let it fall apart. I really hope you don't do the same.

Also, PM me if you want to talk more.

 

[kaydubs]

I'm not in vet school yet, but like you, I'll be starting in the fall. Also like you, I have depression. Mine's dysthymia with major depressive episodes (i.e., chronic low-grade depression with occasional full depressive episodes), which I've had for 10+ years. The main piece of advice I can give came to mind when you said you are posting anonymously.

Why?! Why must you be anonymous? Depression isn't nearly as stigmatized as it used to be, and you're more likely to feel comfortable getting help if you're at least somewhat open about it. Now, I don't mean wear a billboard or throw out your (un)diagnosis every time someone asks how you're doing, but just try to accept that a lot of people have it and have some understanding of what you're going through.

We can't really answer if you'll be able to pull through the first year—only you can make the judgment on that. It couldn't hurt to see if they'd allow a deferment. Medication probably won't help you in time for the start of semester, since it requires a lot of tinkering and switching meds to find the right one for you. However, talk therapy with a professional could certainly help you sort some things out in the meantime.

My advice for staying positive is more a bunch of little ideas, like make sure you get dressed every day (it makes a huge difference for me), listen to songs that give the message of pushing through hard times, and try to get at least some productivity in every day.

Side note: I watched a strong, he-is-the-one relationship of mine crumble because of my depression and my unwillingness to talk about it. He would have helped and stood by me, but I just let it fall apart. I really hope you don't do the same.

Also, PM me if you want to talk more.

Similarly, I have struggled with depression for several years now. I ended up requesting a deferment - primarily for severe migraines which may have been triggered by depression.

I'm a 1st year student. After taking the year, I felt better about my decision to attend vet school. Now, more than 3/4 of the way through, I am still feeling some doubt. My depression has re-surfaced to a degree but I, like goatmeister, take small steps every day to keep my mood in the best place. if I would decide to walk away from vet school, I want my decision to be uninhibited by depression.

I wish you the best of luck! I can relate to how difficult this might be for you. Feel free to PM me as well.

 

[dyachei]

Find a therapist now and start talking before you start. Research ahead of time to find someone wherever it is you end up and try to work out some plan to start therapy/counseling there.

Start the hard work now and you'll be much better off later.

 

[wolfspeaker]

In the interim, make sure you are taking vitamins. Go for a walk outside daily. Make yourself do some exercise! Do indoor tanning once a week for 10 minutes or so(more if you actually want a tan ) Try and eat as healthily as you can and get enough sleep. Snuggle a pet. 😉

All of these have helped me immensely in the last 10+ years.

 

[DVMDream]

Coming from someone who is currently in vet school and dealing with depression to the point of having suicidal thoughts, you should get help before getting to school because it is much harder to do so once in school and school itself can drag you down even more.

 

[bookworm1204]

I have been struggling with depression for the past few years, and I have the same fears as you. I will also be starting vet school this fall. From what I know of your situation, I think that I would consider trying to defer if I was in that position. I am currently on medication that is helping somewhat, but I'm still really worried about what will happen when I move 13 hours away from my SO (who is my major support system). Being under all the stress that comes with vet school won't help things either. Like others have said, only you can make the call on what is best for you. Definitely take advantage of the resources at your school, and let them know what's going on before you start classes, if possible.

Good luck! I hope everything works out for you.

 

[krue]

If you were suffering a physical illness instead of an emotional or mental one, would you still ask for advice on a pre-vet message board?

I'm sure the SDN members mean well, but you should be speaking with a therapist right now. If you are at a university or community college, you have a health center that provides inexpensive or free mental health care. Please take advantage of that resource soon, and get well.

 

[485501]

Specifically in regards to your relationship with your SO: I had a hard time for a little while with my SO one year because the stress of school was aggrivating my low self-esteem (and the school's counceling center wasn't helping). What helped me was having him tell me small, concrete reasons why he liked me/liked spending time with me. Not things like "because I love you" or "because you're great" - those are too easily set aside by the low-self-esteem-mindset. Things like "I like talking to you because you are never at a loss for an anecdote about a mutual friend of ours" or "I like to spend time with you because you don't mind watching me play video games for three hours straight" or "I like you because you are really interested in what I like and in the stories I tell about my life." For me, it was much easier to believe small, specific things like that; I felt like I couldn't refute those reasons. They didn't help the underlying problem, but they did get us through the rough patch without any major fights/unfortunate episodes after we figured out for him to tell me things like that.

 

[RagtimeWillie]

First off, if you think you are depressed, you should probably seek some professional help immediately. A doctor can properly diagnose you despite what you think you may have. Depression can also be co-morbid and can hide other underlying problems you are unaware of. Self-help reading on positivity and spirituality can only alleviate but it does help move you into the right direction as it may help cut off the feedback loop you're in. Lastly, I'm a little confused as you would seek advice on mental health in a pre-veterinary board. The only advice you need is professional advice if you think your problem is that serious.

 

[worldatlarge]

As someone with a litany of mental health concerns and diagnoses, I'd advise you to seek help sooner rather than later. Starting medication may very well be necessary and often involves a bit of an adjustment period for your brain, along with taking a few rounds of dose titration to get you to a good place. This is not something you want to begin during an already stressful time such as the beginning of vet school, unless absolutely necessary. The side effects, though often quite mild, are more severe in the beginning. Personally, I remember being a little out of it for a couple of weeks.

I know you said you have a reason you prefer not to share, but I really can't think of a good one to explain why you can't seek help via your university mental health service. I don't know if this is your concern, but just in case: HIPAA regulations ensure confidentiality of your information. Seeking help will not affect applications, job prospects, etc. Your parents will not be notified. While certainly not the best option, your primary care provider can also write you an Rx for antidepressants, if that's more doable. I can tell you from experience, getting this taken care of as soon as possible is incredibly important.

 

[lionking101]

not in vet school, but am applying this year...

i've dealt with depression probably for the last 10 years. in my teens i coped with it with drugs and ended up addicted to pain killers. i got through it with the help of a therapist, my family, and a 12 step fellowship. i now volunteer at a crisis center and talk to people every week who are going through things similar to what you are. i'm also now almost 4 years clean/sober.

the hardest part is asking for help. but nothing is going to get better until you do that. chances are you have been trying to handle this on your own for some time now, and you're still feeling the same way.

i commend you for making the first step of at least telling people what you are going through. even if it is anonymous, its a big step. but you cant stop here. we don't have any special tips that will fix whats going on inside of you. you have to take the next step and get help.

it will get to the point where you consider suicide and it will seem as it is your only option. i hope that you find the courage to speak to a therapist before that time comes.

PM me if you want to talk at all.

 

[that redhead]

Unfortunately I agree with the idea of deferring. You need to get some measure of control over this obstacle before you can move forward - vet school is only part of it; moving away from everything familiar to a new place where you'll have to make new friends and adapt to a new routine/work load/etc is hard enough as it is.

 

[hygebeorht]

If this is seriously affecting you, considering deferral is not out of the question. But I am currently in good mental health, and the "slump time" between acceptance and attendance can wear on your state of mind. It's ripe for questioning yourself, doubting yourself, adding negativity on top of your already-present depression.

If you have resources, a counselor can help. Worry is natural, but it disturbs your peace of mind. I'm an analytical person, so I go through a mental exercise that helps me when I am feeling worried and overwrought. I don't know if it would help you, but here goes:

1. List the things that worry you
2. Classify them as a) things you can control, b) things you can partially control, and c) things you cannot control. Examples: how much time you study is a). The grade you earn is b). And what other people think of you is c).
3. Let go of the things you cannot control. If your goal is peace of mind, you have to release the things you cannot affect. And for the things you can affect, keep your goals within the bounds of what you can control. For example, you can control how hard you study. You cannot control the exact grade you receive. So when you set a goal for yourself in an exam, make that an internal goal: "study each lecture hard for 1 hour" vs. external "get an A."

The letting go is the hard part and paradoxically the easy part. It just depends on your state of mind. And do not, do not be hard on yourself for any negative emotions you're experiencing. You can control what you do, but not what you feel.

As someone who's been in some pretty black places, I feel for you and hope you're able to find some solace. If you don't have anyone you can trust to talk with candidly about what you're going through, find a professional. It's good to have a disinterested party to help you assess what's going on.

Good luck, honey. :hug:

 

[LetItSnow]

Additionally, any recommendations that anyone can give to help me start getting better on my own until I can get professional help would be great. I'm willing to try anything.

There's a bit of discrepancy in there - you say you are willing to "try anything" but you also say professional help is "out of the question right now."

If you're willing to "try anything," then I would re-assess whether professional help is TRULY out of the question, or whether you just aren't looking hard enough. Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 free resources in my area alone; and that's from someone who isn't really up on the subject.

So - why is it "out of the question"?

I don't think deferral is necessarily the answer (nothing wrong with deferring, though), and I'd hold off doing it until you got some assistance getting back on track. But you do need that assistance before you start school and dig yourself into a deeper hole to try and deal with.

 

[RagtimeWillie]

I'm pretty sure all of us who've been accepted and are awaiting the unknown inevitable are a little bit anxious and/or nervous about this great new step in our lives. I don't think it's worth deferring until you have heard advice from someone who has already been to school to give it. It's a big decision and can only be better informed by what a professional has to offer. FYI, I too am no stranger to receiving mental health care.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Agree with everyone who has said get help NOW! Sometimes depression does that to you, and you come up with reasons why you can't go get the help you need now, all the while fantasizing about how you will be able to in the future. Please please reassess why it is that you think you can't get help now. If anything, talk to your dean or someone in charge of student life/affairs and ask them to point you to resources that you can get to.

Once vet school starts, it starts with a BANG! And with all the energetic people around you who have been revving up to study full force, it becomes overwhelming really fast, and it might be super stressful to try and get that support network up and running. Seriously, trying to schedule anything is annoying as hell for vet students. If you are coming up with excuses now for seeking help, I assure you you will find a bunch more once you start school. And as exciting as the start of vet school is for a lot of people, it can also be very lonely and depressing for others unfortunately, so keep that in mind.

 

[ky261682]

Coming from someone who is currently in vet school and dealing with depression to the point of having suicidal thoughts, you should get help before getting to school because it is much harder to do so once in school and school itself can drag you down even more.

👍 I waited to get help help with my depression and anxiety because I thought I was "weaker" than my classmates. I was embarrassed that I couldn't seem to get my life together. I hit rock bottom back in February and finally got help. It was the best decision, I wish I had done it earlier. I'm seeing a counselor and I've been on medication for a month. I've noticed a difference in my ability to focus and concentrate even in that short time.

Get help as soon as you can! I feel like I missed out on a lot of good things this year because I waited to get help. If you can, defer for a year and get help so you can have a good first year. Don't be embarrassed about being depressed, it's nothing to be ashamed about. As for little things that you can do I snuggle my pets, watch funny movies, call my family, talk to my friends, go for a walk, and exercise. Best of luck, feel to PM me.

 

[StartingoverVet]

FWIW, I have heard anecdotallly that a large % of our class here is on anti-depressants so there is little stigma attached.

I also find that as people get into their later 20s to 40s, the % seeking some type of help gets larger and it gets more acceptable.

I think that in college few people are aware of mental health issues so there is sometimes a bit of a shock to realize how prevalent these problems are.

I, of course, agree with everyone that has urged OP to seek professional help, but also to be careful with non-professional help. Many people can be well-meaning, but without knowing your specific situation can end up giving counter-productive advice, or advice that can backfire.

Ignoring your mental health can be just as detrimental as ignoring an injury or disease, in fact, it can even be worse as the longer the you start to get your brain used to certain "things", the harder it can be to undo the tendency.

I hope you have read enough of these posts by now to realize that you should seek help now, and I hope you post that you have done so.


And to everyone else out there who is suffering...... get over your ego about not needing help. EVERYONE needs help at some point in there life, sadly not everyone gets the help they need. Don't be stubborn, even if life is suffering according to buddhism😀, no need to suffer needlessly!

 

[WulfpackChica]

http://www.veterinaryteambrief.com/...arian-recognizing-depression-possible-suicide

Found this today, talking about Veterinary profession and depression/suicide.

"Of those surveyed, 88% to 96% believed that veterinary medicine is very stressful, with stress increasing over the past 10 years; 19% of veterinary students had been diagnosed with mental illness and 40.7% had a family history of drug addiction or alcoholism; 95% of executive directors believed there is a serious problem of burnout, and 40% knew of one or more veterinarians who had committed suicide in the previous 3 years.7

Of all respondents, 24% had considered suicide since starting veterinary school".

It is a problem and it is out there...

 

[catlady816]

When I started my senior year of undergrad, my anxiety was so bad I wouldn't sleep for days. I kept telling myself seeing a professional "wasn't an option" because I worked 7 days a week on top of school. In the end what it came down to was school/work really more important than my health? Once I started seeing someone I immediately noticed a difference. Your illness is completely different than mine, but I know it won't get better without any help. There is a whole support group of SDNer's here who can sympathize with you, but we're not doctors (or at least not that type!) Definitely take the time to get the help, it's never not an option.

 

[Trematode]

Ill echo what has been said: get medical help. If you don't get any answers, don't give up. Keep fighting and trying new things.

I am taking a break from school now. I felt like I really screwed my last couple years of school because I couldn't focus at all and was having symptoms of depression and anxiety. I went to a doctor when I started having panic attacks and got no answers.

Two years later, I hit an all time low: severe fatigue, anxiety and depression. I decided to go to a naturopathic doctor. Apparently I was B-12 deficient and may also be hypothyroid. I perked up after the B-12 was resolved.

I am so angry that nobody figured this out sooner. I went to GPs, an ER doc, a neurologist, an arthritis specialist, a counsellor, ophthalmologist for blurry vision, and a naturopathic doctor before I figured out what was wrong. I was even working out at the gym to try to improve my mood and energy levels.

Don't give up. Keep fighting to feel better.

 

[squirrelsrule]

I am about the furthest from depressed as someone could get, I find joy in simple things and laugh like all the time. The days where you know that you have to study all day, and will the next day, and the day after, and the day after that and in the end you're gonna get to the exam and still feel like you should have done more. Yeah, that gets everyone down and I sit there thinking why in the world did I sign myself up for this torture.

If you are having troubles now, it's gonna be 10X worse come fall! You have no idea how much work you are in for.

 

[orcagirl]

Talking with someone outside of the situation can help immensely. I'm normally a very happy, pretty easy going person. I found out this winter that I have seasonal affective disorder. I lived in Arizona my while life. I never went more than two days without seeing the sun. Then in January I started feeling sad. It got to the point where I couldn't focus in class, studying was nearly impossible. If you can get some help before going to school it will help. You'll feel like your life is out of control at times, there's so much to learn and keep up with. We've all been there, but there is nothing wrong with asking for a little professional help.

 

[privera3]

*bump*
There's too much stigma. I almost created a new profile to post here, but no.
I'm also going to be a first year vet student in August, which I'm really excited about, but still a bit anxious (the normal anxious). I suffer from something similar, but at the other end of the spectrum: generalized anxiety and panic disorder. I had it for a long time under control, without any meds. But it has recently creeped up, to the point of needing meds. This has risen some fear in me since I need to be in optimal condition during vet school. But, as people who experience this know, it is difficult. I'm still trying to figure out with my doctor the best med treatment and also doing counseling. I've tried an SSRI and SNRI, but they had horrible side-effects on me. So far only klonopin works for me, but I respect that drug. I know that is not for long term treatment (causes physical dependence thus very hard to get off of), which is why I'm willing to try another SNRI. But we'll see. I've been managing this for about 5 years, so I know what this is and I have the tools to cope, but sometimes it gets too difficult.

I think this is common among vet students, but people are afraid to talk about it. Anyways, it would be great to hear from someone going through the same situation in vet school or to hear some positive input. Feel free to message me.

 

[vetin2015]

*bump*
There's too much stigma. I almost created a new profile to post here, but no.
I'm also going to be a first year vet student in August, which I'm really excited about, but still a bit anxious (the normal anxious). I suffer from something similar, but at the other end of the spectrum: generalized anxiety and panic disorder. I had it for a long time under control, without any meds. But it has recently creeped up, to the point of needing meds. This has risen some fear in me since I need to be in optimal condition during vet school. But, as people who experience this know, it is difficult. I'm still trying to figure out with my doctor the best med treatment and also doing counseling. I've tried an SSRI and SNRI, but they had horrible side-effects on me. So far only klonopin works for me, but I respect that drug. I know that is not for long term treatment (causes physical dependence thus very hard to get off of), which is why I'm willing to try another SNRI. But we'll see. I've been managing this for about 5 years, so I know what this is and I have the tools to cope, but sometimes it gets too difficult.

I think this is common among vet students, but people are afraid to talk about it. Anyways, it would be great to hear from someone going through the same situation in vet school or to hear some positive input. Feel free to message me.

Hi there,
I'm a fourth year vet student (just recently started clinical rotations) with OCD and general anxiety issues. I've had these problems since I was a kid but didn't seek help until last year. As others have already mentioned, vet school is hard and anxiety-inducing in almost everybody, and having an anxious predisposition can certainly make it even more challenging. You can absolutely get through it though, and I think even come out stronger from it. Personally, I went through the first 2.5 years of vet school constantly anxious and doubting myself and my decisions. I knew I'd never be happy going on like that, which is why I finally worked up the courage to get help. I'm in a much better place now.

It's great that you've already overcome the hurdle of getting help. That was probably the toughest part for me. I can definitely relate to the frustration of trying to find the right medication though. The side effects and waiting period to see if they work can be incredibly frustrating. Although I know it's not fully in your control, I'd definitely recommend working with your doctor to try to find the right med before school starts if possible. Will you be moving and switching doctors once you start school? If so, I'd try setting up an initial appointment as soon as possible when you get to school. I go to a psychiatrist through the university's health care center, which is great because it's already paid for in student fees, but the wait time for an initial appointment was pretty long here.

Anxiety can suck and you'll have ****ty days, sometimes weeks, and maybe even months. But please know that that's temporary. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life right now when 6 months ago I was probably at my lowest point. I wish I would have gotten help sooner, so it's awesome that you've already acknowledged your struggles and are working on them. Despite all the anxiety and doubts I had going through vet school (which I still get at times), clinical rotations are going really well overall. Having to constantly battle my own anxious mind I think has overall made me a much more self-aware, stronger, and compassionate person than I would be had I not had to deal with those issues.