Depression + Grades in Undergrad

[halfpass]

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Hi everyone,
I have had quite a rough first year and need some reassurance. My first semester went great. While I was starting to develop minor depression and having anxiety issues, my classes were all intro and I got all As and one A-.

This current semester, things spiraled out of control. I still anticipate a couple of As, but I'm probably going to get a B in calculus. I withdrew from an anatomy class that I would have gotten a C in. I'm feeling incredibly guilty for wasting my life and my dad's money. I EASILY could have gotten straight As again, but just have not studied. Now I'll have a "W" on my transcript and I'll have to retake the class next year. The most difficult part of this is that nobody knows about the problems I've been having, although my dad suspects it after I had a complete breakdown (when I told him I was withdrawing form anatomy).

Has anyone been able to come back from depression and earn good grades? Hate to sound like I'm feeling sorry for my self but I feel like a complete failure!

 

[slick27]

You should maybe take some time off of school. Have some fun for a year or two and then go back at it. Get your mind clear, feeling good, and try to find balance when you start again. Only advice I can give.

 

[Bildo]

Dude. Don't worry. All A's and A-'s is very good, especially if you are in a rigorous school. That's like what, a 3.86ish? Very competitive if you look at the MSAR. Just keep up the good work.

Secondly, don't let depression and stress rule your life. I got into college because I wrote my essay over this, IMO, about being stressed at one point. It's like fulfilling your fears because you're so frightened and worried about it. Just keep working, work hard, but don't let it consume you. Your college experience is your time, and the only time you'll ever get to enjoy it is now.

Stress like that, thirdly, isn't healthy, especially if it lasts a long time.

And remember that medical school is going to be MUCH more difficult- if you can't keep it together now, you're probably going to buckle and go down -hard- later on- Med schools want people who have shown they can handle pressure and stress.

Your school probably has counseling centers and all sorts of peer resources- Take advantage! This is something you should deal with because I imagine you like feeling good about school and everything else, and not dealing with depression. But you don't have to do it alone.

And in my opinion, your grades are damn fine, man.

 

[binko]

Dropping one class and getting one B does not equal "wasting your life" and if that's your definition of "spiraling out of control" well I guess I just wish I were as out of control as an undergrad.

Def. see a doctor about your depression, in case you need meds or something. I was diagnosed with mild depression about a year ago and have been on treatment since then, and even though I don't really feel any different (didn't feel that bad to begin with, mostly just tired), I find that I can focus and do schoolwork a lot more effectively now, and my grades are better.

I also agree that if you feel you need time off to do something less stressful than school, then treat yourself right and do it. If you're worried about how adcoms will see it, then spend some of that time doing something like volunteering to teach MRDD children to fingerpaint or something like that, that both sounds good and is low-stress.

 

[vickpick]

lol.. unlike the slick27 said... my advice is to keep on going at it...

dont worry.. u have the summer... a few W's arent that bad..

u can get back on track.. an A- is not bad at all... neither is a B especially in ur freshman year...

What are the distraction keeping u from studying? (computer/ internet, friends, lover, etc..)
You might want to keep such distractions in check.. I was getting on the internet for hours at a time.. to chagne that, I cancelled my account at many sites and cleared all my favorites..
Similarly, I just hang out with my pre-med friends... the other dont have much to worry and usually make me waste my time.. (I sound like a bad friend, but u gotta do what u gotta do...)

 

[halfpass]

My biggest reason for not studying is that I get so anxious that I just try to avoid school at all costs. I also want so badly to be perfect that when I, inevitably, do not attain it, I shut down and just do nothing at all.

Obviously big problems, but I'm sure I can improve if I can just get through this semester. I really need a fresh start next year.

 

[nick_carraway]

Find a friend to talk to or see your school's counselors for free. If you have counseling covered in your health insurance, I'd shop around for a psychiatrist that you hit it off with.

At best, you just need someone to talk to to voice some of your concerns and your history. If it's more than that, though, you at least want a professional there who can identify the problem.

I would say just try not to worry about the pressure. Nobody is perfect and sometimes it takes a few mistakes to realize that. You're the one taking the classes, not your Dad so don't feel like you're letting anyone down. You're the one who has to do all the work and stay up at night and go to class in the morning, so you're the only one who understands.

Good luck! Try to focus on the things that make you happy. Just know that this will take some time to get past (behavioral changes take time) but it's worth it to work through it now.

 

[DukeMurken]

Hi there, I just wanted to offer reassurance that everything will be ok and you can definitely come back from a bad semester. I think it is most important you seek out a counselor at school, or do whatever you need to first to get yourself refocused though instead of wallowing in bad feelings.

I definitely relate to your desire for perfection, and have been through that myself, where I just shut down if I can't fulfill my impossible expectations of myself and everything around me. I think it is important to re-evaluate your goals at every point, and see if they are realistic, and also realize, even if things don't go as planned, you still fight to make it as best as possible. A B is better than a C, which is better than an F.

I also went through a rough quarter, and I came out of the application cycle just fine (C's and B's in science courses, and W's as well, and I BARELY had enough credits for full-time status). It seemed like adcoms dismissed it, and if they didn't, they still gave me a chance to interview and explain it. So there's hope! Please just take care of yourself, and get back on track, and everything will be ok. As people have mentioned, if you need time off, take it. Definitely seek out some help though, no one should go through rough times alone. I didn't, and I am so thankful for that. Good luck!!!!!!!

 

[236116]

Your first step MUST be to talk to someone IRL.

After that, things get easier 'cos you aren't carrying around so much bulls hit.

 

[WaterBird]

My biggest reason for not studying is that I get so anxious that I just try to avoid school at all costs. I also want so badly to be perfect that when I, inevitably, do not attain it, I shut down and just do nothing at all.

Obviously big problems, but I'm sure I can improve if I can just get through this semester. I really need a fresh start next year.

OK, it sounds like something more than being distracted by the internet.

You definitely should go talk to someone, get a psych analysis, and maybe take some time off. Even just talking through this anxiety block with a pro might be very helpful - don't assume that if you go talk to a psych they'll drug you.

Ignore the people who say "if you can't handle this how will you handle med school?" Even with the issues you are facing you're pulling good grades and a lot of people struggle freshman year. Get your **** together now and you might be more prepared for the greater stress of med school than someone who didn't have to re-evaluate things.

 

[binko]

Get your **** together now and you might be more prepared for the greater stress of med school than someone who didn't have to re-evaluate things.

Word.

 

[littlealex]

Sink or swim son. Figure your issues out and talk to a counselor.
If you're not studying, you don't want it bad enough.

 

[236116]

Sink or swim son. Figure your issues out and talk to a counselor.
If you're not studying, you don't want it bad enough.

fail.👎

 

[ThankGod]

You're only human...remember that. Don't feel guilty at all...everything happens for a reason and things will fall into place--just be patient (and increase your prayer if you're spiritual).

Anyhow, keep things in perspective and don't lose sight of what matters--health comes first, so take care of yourself and be good to yourself.

A grade should not be more important than YOU. Take it easy.

 

[nick_carraway]

Anyhow, keep things in perspective and don't lose sight of what matters--health comes first, so take care of yourself and be good to yourself.

A grade should not be more important than YOU. Take it easy.

👍👍

 

[WannaBePreMed]

Hi everyone,
I have had quite a rough first year and need some reassurance. My first semester went great. While I was starting to develop minor depression and having anxiety issues, my classes were all intro and I got all As and one A-.

This current semester, things spiraled out of control. I still anticipate a couple of As, but I'm probably going to get a B in calculus. I withdrew from an anatomy class that I would have gotten a C in. I'm feeling incredibly guilty for wasting my life and my dad's money. I EASILY could have gotten straight As again, but just have not studied. Now I'll have a "W" on my transcript and I'll have to retake the class next year. The most difficult part of this is that nobody knows about the problems I've been having, although my dad suspects it after I had a complete breakdown (when I told him I was withdrawing form anatomy).

Has anyone been able to come back from depression and earn good grades? Hate to sound like I'm feeling sorry for my self but I feel like a complete failure!

W's happen to the best of us. Life is full of surprises and to expect things to be smooth all the time is to be absurdly delusional. I think you're perfectly fine and you're nothing near a failure. Crisis like these will help you grow and develop. Just make sure you don't let this spiral out of control. Remember to ask for help when you need it.

Something from the above post that I have to agree with is that you need friends in real life that can support you. SDN can only do so much. If you already have friends you should turn to them, they'll surprise you.

 

[nick_carraway]

W's happen to the best of us. Life is full of surprises and to expect things to be smooth all the time is to be absurdly delusional. I think you're perfectly fine and you're nothing near a failure. Crisis like these will help you grow and develop. Just make sure you don't let this spiral out of control. Remember to ask for help when you need it.

Something from the above post that I have to agree with is that you need friends in real life that can support you. SDN can only do so much. If you already have friends you should turn to them, they'll surprise you.

I totally agree with the above post.

Don't wait to confront problems. You remind me of people I know who absolutely refuse to ask for help for anything in life because they assume that they know the answer or because they don't want to hear the answer. They try to contain the problem rather than solve it and the problems can quickly become unmanageable.

I don't know if that's a fair description of your situation, but always ask for help. People (professors, parents, friends) are typically understanding and are very willing to help if they can.

 

[binko]

Sink or swim son. Figure your issues out and talk to a counselor.
If you're not studying, you don't want it bad enough.

 

[chutzpah]

It's just cancer get over it.





I agree that taking some time off until you figure out how to get your life back in order. If you just continue without totally understanding what happened this semester, it'll just be the same. Best of luck.

 

[TMP-SMX]

You can't be perfect. Just do the best you can. Get treated and get things under control. When you get to medical school, you will really realize that perfection isn't possible. You will be in a class full of people that are very intelligent and had great undergrad records. You have to just worry about yourself and keep it up. It's a marathon and going through the past two years of med school has solidified my theory that how well you do is largely based on your attitude and how interested you are in the material.

 

[deleted202457]

You just got to find someone to talk to. Maybe visit the dr to get some medicine to help you out. Your grades are still good. Plus you can always explain what happened if there are any questions. Good luck.

 

[binko]

It's just cancer get over it.

I see what u did thar.

 

[Emmet2301]

Uh dude I and a few of my Pre-med friends have gotten terrible grades, but we're still doing pre-med. Just relax.

You have great grades.

 

[DeadliestSnatch]

Three things, dear:

1) Breathe! You're already doing far better than a lot of other pre-meds.

2) Depression (I know it all too well) isn't something that you are going to overcome with sheer force of will. I know it's often terribly embarrassing to ask for help, but everyone needs help once in a while. If you really are suffering from depression, there is help out there. Try the counseling center at your school.

3) Medication (if you do end up needing it, that is...obviously we don't know what the doctors will suggest) does NOT make you a failure. It just means that your brain needed a little juice to wake up and get going.

If you need support, we're here. I know this comes off as ridiculously creepy, but you can always PM me. I've had depression since I hit puberty, and I know the stigma that's attached to it. 🙁