Don't forget, on programs crappy is another programs awesome. Some programs place a lot of value on test scores, grades and the like. Other programs are looking for solid human beings. It's the reason there are more than three flavors of ice cream. What's a match for you might be an awkward fit for me. That's why I am hoping to find out where I matched will be a good fit. You can match into something that would have been a terrible terrible experience. There are mysterious things that happen and we don't know why, we never can know. Proton, you will find a year of if not being in med school and not being a resident can have some pretty magical opportunities that you can't even guess at. During my 4 three year hiatus, (post leaving my beastly G-forsaken neurology residency mid-year, getting out with my soul barely intact, and pre entering phase two of life at wherever it is- which I will find out tomorrow) some neat stuff happened. I got to hang out with my friends, my husband and kid again, spend time with my garden and my dog, learn to play a guitar and write songs, take yoga classes and loose thirty pounds and look stronger an sexier now than I did before, work
in a psych hospital as a non-doctor and learn by observation about tons of devastatingly stupid things that psychiatrists do and say that make them the favorite hate-objects of the other staff. All
This valuable expanse of human experience was outside of what I could possibly imagine for myself. The wonders that await you outside of the medical hamster wheel are beyond your imagination. I like the alcoholics serenity prayer. G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the the wisdom to know the difference. Enjoy your time between med school and residency. Keep
Reapplying every year until you do match. You will. As long as you are willing to keep trying, there is hope for you. Ignore mean people. They can't help you. Surround yourself with nice people, with music, dogs, healthy food, a different job that let's you sleep
on the weekend, get a student loan deferment and prepare try again next time. Also, like I said before, get yourself a psychotherapist and some kind of meditation, yoga or athletic hobby that will let you transcend your critical mental chatter. Go deep and get to know yourself. When you do, you will emerge better than ever, a more awesome psychiatrist than you could have possibly been if you had done it the easy way the first time. We are behind you 100% proton. The ones who don't have our panties way up in there I mean. Go forth and become the real proton you were meant to be. Don't look
back. Keep looking forward. You will do this. You'll see.