.

[Medic741]

Last week as a volunteer I had an incident with a patient’s mom that said I was rude. She didn’t really give a reason she just said something along the lines of “not getting my vibe” and told me to go away. This is the first time a patient or relative had a problem with me (I have 130+ hours here), however, this is within 3 weeks of an incident where a ED nurse thought I was being disrespectful (which I didn’t mean to be and already talked to the volunteer director). The volunteer director heard about this more recent issue and wants to meet up again and thinks I’m struggling as a volunteer.

So has anyone else been called out for not being nice enough or providing good customer service to patients? I didn’t really think much of it at the time and the next patient I helped get imaged liked me enough to ask me what to do with her stress fracture.

Consistent feedback is usually bc of a trend.

Oh it doesn't bother me much in and of itself. What bothers me more than I like is this might make the volunteer director think I'm a big dbag (which I don't think I am) and maybe I could lose to opportunity to volunteer here.

Fear of consequences being >>> desire for self improvement is a red flag. Go ask them for advice on how to be a better volunteer/person & what you can do to "correct your deficiencies." @Matthew9Thirtyfive, is this a Navy saying too?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Medic741]

I don't think this is going to stop me.

Also wtf guy.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Oh man... You should meet my friends.

Oh well. I'll find something else.

Has nothing to do with your friends. Your little high school friends are nothing upside my buddies trust me.

It’s that you need to learn professional bearing. Accept advice, “roger that” and move out.


You don’t sound sociopathic, you sound like your typical fresh out of high schooler that needs some life experience.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Patients that have been labeled as “difficult” are my absolute favorite. It’s very satisfying to be so empathetic, patient, and engaging with them. Sometimes that changes everything and they soften, sometimes they don’t. But I never give them any less either way.

Pretty much every time I get a “difficult” patient, they’re fine. It’s just that the staff doesn’t answer their questions, or barely checks on them. When you show that you care, they’re not difficult at all.

 

[Medic741]

Has nothing to do with your friends. Your little high school friends are nothing upside my buddies trust me.

It’s that you need to learn professional bearing. Accept advice, “roger that” and move out.

+1 -- the correct response to this kind of criticism is:

"Yes sir"
or:
"Yes ma'am" correct yourself and move on

***especially as a pre-med***

 

[sunshinefl]

Pretty much every time I get a “difficult” patient, they’re fine. It’s just that the staff doesn’t answer their questions, or barely checks on them. When you show that you care, they’re not difficult at all.

You get it. A lot don’t. I still have a PRN RN job at a prison now (but I haven’t done any shifts in a month since 2nd year started) where it’s just me plus one LPN on any given shift. If I work with one of the hostile dismissive ones who get a smug pleasure from shutting them down, it’s a miserable shift for me. If they’re more on my energy to be helpful, caring, and patient, my shift is great.

 

[RNtoMD87]

You get it. A lot don’t. I still have a PRN RN job at a prison now (but I haven’t done any shifts in a month since 2nd year started) where it’s just me plus one LPN on any given shift. If I work with one of the hostile dismissive ones who get a smug pleasure from shutting them down, it’s a miserable shift for me. If they’re more on my energy to be helpful, caring, and patient, my shift is great.

SELDOMLY it’s just a pain in the ass family member or patient. In 3 years I could count these on 1 hand.

 

[CherryRedDracul]

OMG! Did anyone else get a "House of God" flashback as they read this? I was thinking of the orthopedic height vs neurosurgical height of the beds related to what I recall as being Rule #1: GOMERS go to ground.

YES! Glad I wasn't the only one.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Consistent feedback is usually bc of a trend.


Fear of consequences being >>> desire for self improvement is a red flag. Go ask them for advice on how to be a better volunteer/person & what you can do to "correct your deficiencies." @Matthew9Thirtyfive, is this a Navy saying too?

We usually just say “fix your ****” lol.

 

[Toutie]

Nope. This was my first actual work/volunteer gig as an adult.

I would highly suggest you go get a real job for a while...preferably one with a lot of customer service like retail. It will help you immensely.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Or the military. I recommend this to most people fresh out of highschool.

 

[RNtoMD87]

You would've thought my parents basically disowned me when I enlisted, but its my life. My dad was very angry with me for joining out of fear. Especially when I deployed to Iraq. Best thing I ever did, made me the man I am today.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

You would've thought my parents basically disowned me when I enlisted, but its my life. My dad was very angry with me for joining out of fear. Especially when I deployed to Iraq. Best thing I ever did, made me the man I am today.

My parents were supportive, but it was the best thing I ever did too.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Pertinent image I saw this morning

 

[On_The_Way_Up]

The “yeah sure” comment to the nurse could easily be interpreted as sarcastic and dismissive. And after he told you something important that would be helpful to the patients. Remember he has more experience and authority than you do. Listen to the healthcare professionals! I wouldn’t be surprised if there was more that you aren’t telling us. Usually there are multiple instances before someone is calling you out for being disrespectful.

When people speak to you make eye contact and give a more engaged and respectful response.

 

[Goro]

Huh? I've always interpreted "sure" means "yes I'll do it."

In the context of what you've written, to me it came off as "yeah, whatever".

 

[Robin-jay]

Lol, I'm going to take a different position than most of the people in this thread.

Some places and some people are more poisonous and love to treat entry-level and volunteering positions like garbage.

OP may have just been surrounded by a more poisonous staff than what he should have been around.

I have seen hospital personnel treat entry level persons and volunteer persons to the equivalent of garbage.

OP is probably fine.

I've worked in retail and worked in a lower entry level job in a hospital....guess what...retail treated me much better.

 

[JeSuisUnDoc]

Lol, I'm going to take a different position than most of the people in this thread.

Some places and some people are more poisonous and love to treat entry-level and volunteering positions like garbage.

OP may have just been surrounded by a more poisonous staff than what he should have been around.

I have seen hospital personnel treat entry level persons and volunteer persons to the equivalent of garbage.

OP is probably fine.

I've worked in retail and worked in a lower entry level job in a hospital....guess what...retail treated me much better.

Did we read the same thread? It’s not like it’s mysterious what happened and we’re giving our guess.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[Robin-jay]

Did we read the same thread? It’s not like it’s mysterious what happened and we’re giving our guess.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

OP may have had too much attitude, but when I taught university chemistry, not everyone was perfectly smiling all the time and it really was no big deal. OP was learning how to talk to patients...and they cut him off. Seems like they actively hurt his training to become a physician.

I actually dislike the "fake smiley" people much more than a regular attitude fellow. People who fake smile all the time come across as way less genuine and caring imo.

 

[Robin-jay]

I don't think they were poisonous. Many of the nurses were nice and gave pleasant answers to my questions. Some nurses I feel like kind of give me a cold shoulder. I had one nurse in the ED when I was just starting scold me on how I was on my phone and away from the screen with the rooms on it. That was a couple months ago though so I doubt it had much effect. In radiology where I was recently the xray techs were nice too. I frequently asked on what I could do to help but they said there was nothing. And then last week I pissed off the mom. Initially the volunteer director wanted to meet with me first to talk about it but now I'm straight up gone. She asked the departments I worked in and "I'm not a good fit."

I don't think I have much of an attitude in real life. I don't have much of a personality in real life and around strangers to be honest. I wouldn't say I'm rude, arrogant, or entitled, just.... indifferent. It's different when I have half a dozen people on my ass on an anonymous online forum. I think it's funny how I'm getting crap for it. I don't act like this in a professional setting. If many of you show what you post on here to your employer I'd bet all my internal organs that you wouldn't be employed anymore.

Welcome to real world.

In the real world, hard work MAY or MAY NOT pay off.

In the real world, LUCK is your biggest friend.

Life is NOT FAIR.

 

[CCresearcher]

OP I think you should reframe the situation in your mind, and look at this as a learning opportunity that you're grateful to have. Pretty much all of us have times where our own self-image does not align with how we are perceived. This happens more for some than others, but it does happen to everyone. Most of the time, when this happens, no one ever tells us or lets us know and we continue on our way, never knowing, and therefore never changing or growing.

You, on the other hand, do know! While it's certainly possible that these were two random flukes, it's much more likely that you've been acting in a way that others find off-putting without even realizing it. It might be more a matter of tone and body language than the actual words you're using, or it might be a combination of the two. At the end of the day, people don't like it -- enough that your hospital decided it would rather not have you work there than have free labor.

Now's where the learning can come in, though! Find someone you know and trust (a sibling is perfect for this, or a very close friend) and ask them what you do that's off putting, making it clear that you want the absolute truth. Then learn from that experience and adjust your behavior accordingly. Check in with that sibling or friend to see if you've actually changed. The worst thing you can do now is become defensive and stay the same, because that obviously isn't working.

As a personal example, my medical school has a system where we all give each other written feedback (and receive it from faculty). When I first started, I kept getting feedback that I sometimes interrupt or cut off my classmates during discussion. I've always been a fairly shy, quiet person, and I didn't believe that I was doing this. At most, I thought, I would occasionally start talking at the same time as someone else, or jump in when they were just taking a long pause, but I couldn't actually be cutting people off. I literally would not believe it. It hurt my feelings, because I didn't think I was the type of person who'd do that. Rather than just backing down, though, I made myself pay attention to interrupting in the next class, and I realized that I actually did have a tendency to interrupt, especially to shut down the people who didn't participate as much. I was completely appalled, because this did not at all align with my self image of being supportive towards my classmates and generally a good listener, and it was something I had never realized I'd done. But I'm so glad they told me and gave the opportunity to change and stop doing that, since it could easily have lead to me alienating my classmates, future patients, and future colleagues.

 

[857770]

I don't think they were poisonous. Many of the nurses were nice and gave pleasant answers to my questions. Some nurses I feel like kind of give me a cold shoulder. I had one nurse in the ED when I was just starting scold me on how I was on my phone and away from the screen with the rooms on it. That was a couple months ago though so I doubt it had much effect. In radiology where I was recently the xray techs were nice too. I frequently asked on what I could do to help but they said there was nothing. And then last week I pissed off the mom. Initially the volunteer director wanted to meet with me first to talk about it but now I'm straight up gone. She asked the departments I worked in and "I'm not a good fit."

In this instance, the nurse is not giving you the cold shoulder. Being away on the phone looks like you are not interested or don't really care. I may be wrong, but it probably appeared that way. The nurse would be annoyed if you signed up for a volunteer position and were not doing your "work." Even if you are a volunteer someone still has to get the job done.

 

[857770]

In the context of what you've written, to me it came off as "yeah, whatever".

This. sure sounded like it.

 

[deleted804295]

Incoming wall of text

Tldr; I understand you likely aren't a jerk, you have a straight to the point personality and that is part of who you are. Learn how this personality helps you/hinders you and make positive strides to cater this to all situations in life.

Think about how patients and their loved ones want to be treated. Lower your voice when entering the room, enter the room as if you were paying your respects to someone on their deathbed because they very well may be, and address every individual in the room not just the patient.

Now to address what's likely happening with you and why you aren't noticing things:

1. You have overwhelming to the point mannerisms as a result of being in your head too much.
2. You are also hypersensitive to stimuli.

1 is the reason why you are rubbing people off the wrong way and 2 is why you told your lab techs and SDN and likely many others about a small misunderstanding. Don't get me wrong, hypersensitivity is a good thing if used correctly and you did the right thing by telling SDN because we can help you fix your issue. That said, these things are better not shared with people you work with however because a small misunderstanding can become a vicious cycle of gossip if told in a haphazard way. In the future share these things with parents, siblings, close friends, SDN (due to anonymity), and a significant other/spouse, workplace misunderstandings should not be discussed in the workplace unless you are talking directly to the nurse or whoever colleague had a problem with you.

Getting straight to the point can be good in many circumstances, but other things in life require careful consideration. Patients are fighting illnesses, some that are life threatening. A patient room is the last place you want to be straight to the point, whether this means going straight into the room without smiling or without introducing yourself. This will come off as curt and inconsiderate, the last thing you want to be in a hospital.

Now on the point of colleagues and everyone else in your life; everyone enjoys being smiled at or in solemn situations consoled. Part of being at a hospital is being personable, it is the last place to exhibit individuality. If you're having a tough day call in or talk it out until you can be personal. It is hard, it is difficult, and it requires strides to fix.

I also started out being in my head too much, I fixed it by talking to loved ones who recommended I be selfless at the hospital and remind myself that it isn't about me. My version of being in my head consists of me being standoffish, yours consists of you being straight to the point. Both aren't problematic but there is a time and a place where both these personalities work and don't work.

 

[CCresearcher]

Venting more than complaining about it not being fair. Just wasn’t expecting the



I know. I said some. There weren’t any rooms to clean and it was not busy at all. I sat near an empty room and looked at my phone for about 5 minutes. The nurse first walked by me without saying anything and then came back because there were 3 rooms to clean. My bad. I do care. I just have a really short attention span.



My family... is dysfunctional. I’ll just put it there. I was going to go and ask how I can improve on my next shift but I didn’t get the chance. I’ll try at the free clinic I’m trying to get in.

It absolutley doesn’t need to be a sibling. I suggested one because often sibling relationships are one where you can trust the other not to sugar coat the truth. I would not ask the doctor you work with though, since you don’t want to call his/her attention to anything negative.

Ask a friend or someone else at the free clinic. Again, the key thing here is just to humbly accept that you might be wrong (unknowingly, unintentionally) and suck up any defensiveness so you can fix it.

 

[sunshinefl]

Incoming wall of text

Tldr; I understand you likely aren't a jerk, you have a straight to the point personality and that is part of who you are. Learn how this personality helps you/hinders you and make positive strides to cater this to all situations in life.

Think about how patients and their loved ones want to be treated. Lower your voice when entering the room, enter the room as if you were paying your respects to someone on their deathbed because they very well may be, and address every individual in the room not just the patient.

Now to address what's likely happening with you and why you aren't noticing things:

1. You have overwhelming to the point mannerisms as a result of being in your head too much.
2. You are also hypersensitive to stimuli.

1 is the reason why you are rubbing people off the wrong way and 2 is why you told your lab techs and SDN and likely many others about a small misunderstanding. Don't get me wrong, hypersensitivity is a good thing if used correctly and you did the right thing by telling SDN because we can help you fix your issue. That said, these things are better not shared with people you work with however because a small misunderstanding can become a vicious cycle of gossip if told in a haphazard way. In the future share these things with parents, siblings, close friends, SDN (due to anonymity), and a significant other/spouse, workplace misunderstandings should not be discussed in the workplace unless you are talking directly to the nurse or whoever colleague had a problem with you.

Getting straight to the point can be good in many circumstances, but other things in life require careful consideration. Patients are fighting illnesses, some that are life threatening. A patient room is the last place you want to be straight to the point, whether this means going straight into the room without smiling or without introducing yourself. This will come off as curt and inconsiderate, the last thing you want to be in a hospital.

Now on the point of colleagues and everyone else in your life; everyone enjoys being smiled at or in solemn situations consoled. Part of being at a hospital is being personable, it is the last place to exhibit individuality. If you're having a tough day call in or talk it out until you can be personal. It is hard, it is difficult, and it requires strides to fix.

I also started out being in my head too much, I fixed it by talking to loved ones who recommended I be selfless at the hospital and remind myself that it isn't about me. My version of being in my head consists of me being standoffish, yours consists of you being straight to the point. Both aren't problematic but there is a time and a place where both these personalities work and don't work.

Great post.

Just an anecdote to support what you said, the only time I ever called in to work as an RN, was a full week after a devastating breakup. I knew I was empty and had nothing to give my patients. It wasn’t that if I went to work I would be too distracted or incapable of going through the motions of hanging IVs, putting in Foleys, etc. It was that I would be incapable of emotional, empathetic energy.

 

[CherryRedDracul]

View attachment 238805 Pertinent image I saw this morning

I'm surprised there isn't a shameless BIOTEST supplement plug on that poster.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I don't think they were poisonous. Many of the nurses were nice and gave pleasant answers to my questions. Some nurses I feel like kind of give me a cold shoulder. I had one nurse in the ED when I was just starting scold me on how I was on my phone and away from the screen with the rooms on it. That was a couple months ago though so I doubt it had much effect. In radiology where I was recently the xray techs were nice too. I frequently asked on what I could do to help but they said there was nothing. And then last week I pissed off the mom. Initially the volunteer director wanted to meet with me first to talk about it but now I'm straight up gone. She asked the departments I worked in and "I'm not a good fit."

They’re probably not giving you the cold shoulder, we are very busy and our minds are on a hundred different things. “Patients BP is 90/40 I need to call the doctor and see about getting a bolus. My vapotherm patient isn’t holding sats and he’s about maxed out. Gotta get this consent signed for this procedure in the morning...” it goes on and on.

Medical personnel are BUSY. Lives are on the line. If you catch us at a point where we aren’t so busy I don’t know if many nurses or any other staff that don’t love teaching students.

My honest opinion is that you probably DONT have a bad attitude. You’re probably shy/scared and it makes you come off as aloof or indifferent. Have a firm hand shake, be very direct, strong eye contact, speak up, and ask questions if time permits.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I'm surprised there isn't a shameless BIOTEST supplement plug on that poster.

T nation really has gotten ridiculous with its amount of supplement pushing and pseudo science

 

[RNtoMD87]

I don't think I have much of an attitude in real life. I don't have much of a personality in real life and around strangers to be honest. I wouldn't say I'm rude, arrogant, or entitled, just.... indifferent. It's different when I have half a dozen people on my ass on an anonymous online forum. I think it's funny how I'm getting crap for it. I don't act like this in a professional setting. If many of you show what you post on here to your employer I'd bet all my internal organs that you wouldn't be employed anymore.

This post here says it all. Once again we’re trying to help you and you’re WHINING. I’m not sure the medical field or the military is for you. I don’t think you’d cut it.


And you say “I’m just indifferent”

There’s no room for indifference in a care based setting.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I honestly wouldn't care. Do you know what a nurse has to do to get fired? I know nurses who are recovering meth addicts who got arrested while licensed.

Aside from diverting, or assaulting patients/staff I really don't see you getting fired unless you have a long pattern of poor behavior.

I guarantee you I wouldn't be fired for calling you out for being defensive and weak. My manager is a fellow Army vet and we go shooting together on off days. Main reason I've stayed on this unit so long. He would probably honestly call you out faster than I would.

 

[RNtoMD87]

We already have our jobs/volunteer positions, etc. And you're the one saying you're having trouble in real life. We are here trying to help you, but you don't seem to want our advice. Its like you just want to whine. If you want a volunteer position, be open minded and take our advice. There is a wealth of information here. Many of these people are the very people who would decide whether you get into med school.

I've given you the best advice I can. Apply it if you want.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Must be a troll. We got played fellas

 

[narla_hotep]

if you're not a troll, please don't mention this in your challenge essay

 

[LizzyM]

if you're not a troll, please don't mention this in your challenge essay

On the contrary, it would be very helpful to the adcoms to provide a very detailed account of these experiences in the challenge essay.

 

[MyOdyssey]

On the contrary, it would be very helpful to the adcoms to provide a very detailed account of these experiences in the challenge essay.

Very helpful or "very helpful" to the adcoms?

 

[Anagurl]

I thought I maybe will be able to work this in as a consequence of a not so great childhood, a very authoritative and constantly busy mother, absent father, etc and how it was one wake up call to be more open. Or I can just not mention it at all and adcoms would never know about this incident, and only mention positives like how I've had nice conversations with many patients (I actually have, believe it or not).

Whoa! Seriously??
I've been reading this thread with more and more astonishment.
I know I don't write much on these forums but had to react to this quote.
I apologise in advance, cause it's going to sound very harsh what I'm about to write.

Man, honestly, this quote just shows everything that is wrong with you perceiving what is happening in your little world.
Are you going to do this the rest of your life? Every time when something happens that doesn't "fit" in your plans (you get fired, you get told off) and then later on, someone asks about it, you are going to throw in the fact that you had a difficult childhood? Or another excuse?
Hate to say it man, but LEARN TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your own actions!
That is honestly the biggest thing you obviously still need to learn. A lot of annoying things are going to happen in your life, trust me, I know.
But please don't go around blaming it all on someone/something/the universe (there are exceptions of course).
YOU are the one doing things, learning things, being responsible for things.
And here are almost 3 pages of people giving you very good advice and feedback (some more harsh than others) and every time you just turn around and make it a "but I just did this and please feel sorry for me"-fest.
Just be thankful that these people (who probably will be your seniors one day) take the time to give you advice again and again.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Whoa! Seriously??
I've been reading this thread with more and more astonishment.
I know I don't write much on these forums but had to react to this quote.
I apologise in advance, cause it's going to sound very harsh what I'm about to write.

Man, honestly, this quote just shows everything that is wrong with you perceiving what is happening in your little world.
Are you going to do this the rest of your life? Every time when something happens that doesn't "fit" in your plans (you get fired, you get told off) and then later on, someone asks about it, you are going to throw in the fact that you had a difficult childhood? Or another excuse?
Hate to say it man, but LEARN TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your own actions!
That is honestly the biggest thing you obviously still need to learn. A lot of annoying things are going to happen in your life, trust me, I know.
But please don't go around blaming it all on someone/something/the universe (there are exceptions of course).
YOU are the one doing things, learning things, being responsible for things.
And here are almost 3 pages of people giving you very good advice and feedback (some more harsh than others) and every time you just turn around and make it a "but I just did this and please feel sorry for me"-fest.
Just be thankful that these people (who probably will be your seniors one day) take the time to give you advice again and again.

I seriously doubt this person will be a doctor at least for a long time. I doubt he will be successful in any career for a time. He’s still very immature, as most of us were, but I hope he chooses to grow.

No ones gonna have pity on you kid. We all have things we’ve dealt with.

 

[nobaddays]

The whole conversation was like 10 seconds long.

"You know how you're pushing that bed?"

"Huh?"

"You're gonna hurt your back, you know what you call a nurse with a bad back?"

"What?"

"An unemployed nurse."

"...Uh"

"You should raise the bed next time"

"Yeah sure." or "Yeah okay." or "Alright...." and a whisper "thanks." I'm not entirely sure but fine, we'll go with the worst case scenario.

And that was the first and last time I talked with him. You (or anyone) can interrogate for more incriminating evidence if you'd like.

The fact that you keep saying that you "maybe" said thanks or "whispered" it just implies that you totally didn't and are trying to save face on here... If you didn't it's not a huge deal. I've been in situations where I was just kind of zoned out and somebody said something unexpectedly and after the fact I realize I was completely zoned out and wasn't very polite/responsive. It happens.. Just talk to them and be like "hey sorry, I was totally out of it I didn't mean to be rude."

But you seem very defensive, and unwilling to cede the idea that you may have been anything other than polite.

 

[Anagurl]

I thought I maybe will be able to work this in as a consequence of a not so great childhood, a very authoritative and constantly busy mother, absent father, etc and how it was one wake up call to be more open. Or I can just not mention it at all and adcoms would never know about this incident, and only mention positives like how I've had nice conversations with many patients (I actually have, believe it or not).

You say this, and then in reply to my post you say that you have responsibility. Please explain to me how these two cross over in your world, because in my world, what I read here is the exact opposite of responsibility (either blaming it on a bad childhood or just avoiding it at all).



Sent from my HTC Desire 530 using SDN mobile

 

[LizzyM]

I’m not blaming anyone for me getting fired. That’s me. I am saying my personality is the result of my childhood, parents, etc. Get it?

Unless you can find a way to change your personality, you don't have the disposition for medical school and residency. If you can afford it, a therapist might be able to help.

You need to be able to say, "What my critic says is true and I have to modify my behavior to be more effective." Instead, you've been making excuses for why your critics are wrong. That is a recipe for disaster when you get to medical school.

 

[Anagurl]

I’m not blaming anyone for me getting fired. That’s me. I am saying my personality is the result of my childhood, parents, etc. Get it?

I get what you mean, but your personality is not the result of that. Sure your childhood plays a part. But a lot of other things to. Things that you can change. A lot of those possible changes and feedback has been given by other people so I'm not going to repeat that.
Again, don't push towards blaming others for what's happening in your life, you're the one making the decisions.

Sent from my HTC Desire 530 using SDN mobile

 

[CCresearcher]

Alright. Yes. I’m working on it. Back to the question. If/when I get a secondary, would this be a fairly decent topic for the challenge prompt?

Part of any challenge essay is going to be overcoming the challenge, which you have not yet done. If you do some serious introspection, work on making changes, and then find and succeed at another similar volunteer position, then it could be a good topic. That kind of self reflection and improvement is a good thing. As of now, it only paints you in a bad light.

I will say I feel like a lot of the posters here are being overly harsh towards you. It doesn’t sound to me like you were trying to be a jerk, and I’m sure you’re not now either. But it’s going to take hard work on your part to change how others perceive you. It isn’t something that will just happen on its own, and it won’t happen overnight.

 

[PreMedMissteps]

These patients are doing you an unintentional favor.

Figure out what you can change to avoid this perception so you don’t come across this way in the future.

Yes, what are you possibly doing that is giving off a “bad vibe” or appearing to be “rude”? Please provide more details about the situation. What did you say, facial expression, eye contact.....what exactly happened?

If you’re young, you may not realize that certain ways of saying things or body language can come off as rude or sassy. What’s the old saying?....it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

 

[Anagurl]

I will say I feel like a lot of the posters here are being overly harsh towards you. It doesn’t sound to me like you were trying to be a jerk, and I’m sure you’re not now either. But it’s going to take hard work on your part to change how others perceive you. It isn’t something that will just happen on its own, and it won’t happen overnight.

Oh I know I'm being very harsh here. And honestly, most of the time I'm a nice person, which is not the vibe I'm giving off right now.
Look, I'm being so very harsh, because years ago when I was a "young one", I was basically blaming everything and anything that happened on someone else. It took a few people to give hints that I was going the wrong way, and nope didn't work. Then one person sat me down and told me in no uncertain terms what would happen if I didn't take my own responsibilities in life. Trust me, that worked (for me).
I'm not perfect, no one is, and I make (a lot) of mistakes.
This is just my way of trying to help, and I honestly do hope you will learn to get there so you can get into med school and get your dream job in the end. Just please follow the feedback people have given here.

 

[dpmd]

Facial expression was my just my resting face. Not smiling or anything, just a blank face. I’d say a decent amount of eye contact. I told them I was a volunteer and I was going to take them down for their X-ray and I walk them down there. No conversation walking down there. X-ray techs do their thing, and I ask them if they were ready to go and she asked if they needed any paper work, I say no. I ask if they were ready, mom says they can find their way out. I ask them if they were sure, she cuts me off saying she’s not getting my vibe, the can find their way out, and I can go back to what I need to do. I just kinda walk away since she doesn’t want anything to do with me and I was surprised with that reaction.

I thought about and it might be my face, My resting face isn’t the most friendly expression. Kinda a male resting bitch face. Maybe I walked a little fast in the hallway, and I was looking at their sheet fairly often to make sure they should be going to X-ray. That could seem suspicious I guess. Sometimes when I read things I immediately forget what I just read. I also just woke up with maybe 5-6 hours of sleep, so maybe my voice was monotone or slurred.

As a volunteer interacting with patients you should make an effort to smile and be pleasant.

 

[Temperance]

I’m not blaming anyone for me getting fired. That’s me. I am saying my personality is the result of my childhood, parents, etc. Get it?

Alright. Yes. I’m working on it. Back to the question. If/when I get a secondary, would this be a fairly decent topic for the challenge prompt?

I can see that you mean well, but these are examples of how you can come across as defensive or unprofessional. The "Get it?" at the end of the first quote gives the entire post a condescending and unnecessarily hostile tone. The "Alright. Yes." in the second quote sounds dismissive. Even though you clarify that you are "working on it", you immediately change the subject, which implies that you don't care for the suggestion in the first place, especially given that it's difficult to change one's personality on the fly.

 

[smukke]

My resting face isn’t the most friendly expression. Kinda a male resting bitch face.

Figure out how to get rid of it. RBF and emotionless is fine as an attending (at least in certain fields); you can get away with it as a resident talking to another resident or an attending you know well, or when facing a computer screen but otherwise it's won't be acceptable.

Maybe I walked a little fast in the hallway, and I was looking at their sheet fairly often to make sure they should be going to X-ray.

Why are you checking if they need to go to xray? Someone told you to, you confirmed. And learn to modulate your walking speed depending on who you are with and their capabilites.

I also just woke up with maybe 5-6 hours of sleep, so maybe my voice was monotone or slurred.

If you were that dysfunctional, why were you there?

I get it, caught off guard I know I can come off as very expressionless/RBF and pretty impersonable with a flat affect. But I put a fair amount of effort to not act that way when I'm around others and especially when I'm tired. One suggestion that helped me was getting involved in improv/theater, made me more aware of how I was portraying myself and how I looked to others (and also built up my self confidence).

 

[PreMedMissteps]

My resting face isn’t the most friendly expression. Kinda a male resting bitch face.

Well, anyone who wants to have successful interviews and work with the public needs to CORRECT this. There are few things more off-putting then someone with an unpleasant or “bitch” resting face. This can kill your successful interview chances and affect how people (in this case, patients/families) perceive you.

People with unpleasant resting faces are not likely going to be perceived as people who would be helpful, caring, or even dedicated.

What are you doing about improving your resting face? At a minimum, practice adjusting your facial expression to a smile/near smile and opened eyes (not silly, exaggerated) when you come upon another person or while listening to someone. The resting bitch face is especially a turn-off when someone is speaking to you. Listen with eye contact, a pleasant expression, and an occasional nod indicating that you’re listening and understanding.

 

[Goro]

Alright. Yes. I’m working on it. Back to the question. If/when I get a secondary, would this be a fairly decent topic for the challenge prompt?

Seriously, given what you've written here, I doubt it. The prompt is one where you need to give evidence of your coping skills and resilience.
I agree that people are kinda ganging up at times, but honestly DC, you're not helping us to help you.

And we're on page 3 already!!!!!