Dilemma...

Discussion in 'Dental' started by dieanotherday, 05.14.14.

  1. SDN is made possible through member donations, sponsorships, and our volunteers. Learn about SDN's nonprofit mission.

    Thanks to Crack the NBDE

    Thanks to QbankDMD
  1. dieanotherday

    dieanotherday Class of 2018. Yay... :)

    Joined:
    12.19.13
    Messages:
    433
    Status:
    Dental Student
    I got waitlisted at UNLV and initially I didn't think I would get off the waitlist.
    Originally in this process, UNLV was my top choice school as I figured I would be able to get instate tuition and living expenses would be nonexistent (explained further upon reading), but as the cycle went on I got an interview in February and was waitlisted, so I submitted both deposits to ASDOH which has unexpectedly become my first choice even though UNLV was my first choice initially.

    ASDOH unintentionally became my first choice as I realized my husband was able to transfer and work at the same company, come with me to Arizona, which was even more ideal than what I originally had in mind of us being long distance throughout the 4 years of dental school.

    Now I just got the packet in the mail from UNLV and I madly crunched out some calculations and the tuition is 40k cheaper to go to UNLV than to ASDOH

    I need to decide quick...
    Both programs are great and I am certain I will do well in any curriculum integrated/modular or even pbl, its only about the cost factor now and what it means if I do decide to go with the cheaper option.

    My head feels all cloudy and muddled, can someone help me?

    UNLV (pros/cons)
    - no cost of living/food etc my family and extended family would house/feed/water me and provide me with a car
    - no husband (LDR) and being with parents after being an adult this long sucks
    - no opportunity for him there (no jobs)
    - 40k cheaper (240k total)

    ASDOH (pros/cons)
    - husband was able to get to transfer to chandler, arizona for work and stay with the company (engineer)
    - no cost of living/food because husband would house/feed/water me
    - I have to buy a car as I don't have one
    - I get to be with my husband, and he has been wanting to pursue a Ph.D in his field which would be paid for by the company
    - 280k, not the cheaper option.
     
    Last edited: 05.14.14
  2. SDN Members don't see this ad. About the ads.
  3. free99

    free99 SDN Moderator 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    10.24.12
    Messages:
    1,670
    Status:
    Dental Student
    Are you citing total costs or tuition alone? If you're comparing total costs of attendance (the only numbers that matter imo), then a $40k would not keep me away from a spouses company and support throughout school.

    Edit: after a quick look at the adea guide, it seems you're looking only at tuition cost. What's the difference after you take into account the living expenses associated with asdoh?
     
  4. dieanotherday

    dieanotherday Class of 2018. Yay... :)

    Joined:
    12.19.13
    Messages:
    433
    Status:
    Dental Student
    I don't have to pay for cost of living/health insurance or food costs or any of that

    if I went to UNLV, my parents would house/feed me
    if I went to ASDOH, my husband would house/feed me
    So both of them would only be tuition/fees associated alone

    I do have the support of family regardless of which institution I chose, parents/aunts/uncles/cousins vs husband
     
    Last edited: 05.14.14
  5. free99

    free99 SDN Moderator 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    10.24.12
    Messages:
    1,670
    Status:
    Dental Student
    I can only speak for myself, obviously, but there's no way I would part with my s/o for a difference of $40k. I don't know what that number would be, exactly, but it'd be more than $40k. Both are strong schools, so I don't think you'd be doing yourself a disservice going to one over the other. I'd go to asdoh.
     
  6. dieanotherday

    dieanotherday Class of 2018. Yay... :)

    Joined:
    12.19.13
    Messages:
    433
    Status:
    Dental Student
    after interest it would be about 50k, plus the car I would have to buy used in the best scenario would be 55-60k tack on extra insurance and its looking for like 60-70k because thats something I wouldn't have had to worry about if I went and lived with parents

    I'm not sure what number would turn it into crushing debt
     
  7. jda02624

    jda02624 Junior Member 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    10.10.02
    Messages:
    96
    The time away from your spouse is not worth the $40k or $50k. Dental school is difficult and having your husband there, even if simply for moral support, is priceless. I think the stress of being apart, along with the commitment of dental school, would put an incredible strain on the of best relationships. You cannot put a price on your relationship. Go to Arizona.
     
  8. tbond5

    tbond5 Enrolled

    Joined:
    07.08.13
    Messages:
    503
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Status:
    Pre-Dental
    Go to Arizona.
     
  9. sacapuntas

    sacapuntas Verified Account 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    02.25.11
    Messages:
    1,544
    Status:
    Dental Student
    You would be absolutely nuts to live apart from your spouse for 4 years over 5ok. That is a recipe for divorce. You need to act like this is an easy decision in front of your husband lol.
     
  10. dieanotherday

    dieanotherday Class of 2018. Yay... :)

    Joined:
    12.19.13
    Messages:
    433
    Status:
    Dental Student
    I know the answer should be easy,
    its just so hard to turn down what I initially thought was the best situation for me

    I had no idea he would be able to transfer or would even want to do it for me during the program
    both of us had thought long distance was inevitable

    I guess its not even really about the $$, UNLV was where I wanted to go from the start given the initial variables. Things just changed for the better as well as the worst cause its costing 50k for the luxury of being within proximity.

    thanks for your input, I guess I was just being too greedy...
     
  11. oralcare123

    oralcare123 5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    04.13.10
    Messages:
    950
    Living for free with your parents sounds good now, but would not last. It will put you in a greater moral debt.
    Living for 4 years apart would destroy your marriage. Trying to stay in touch - going back and forth would hurt your study
     
  12. Glimmer1991

    Glimmer1991 SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    05.05.12
    Messages:
    3,501
    Location:
    NC
    Status:
    Dental Student
    Definitely not necessarily true.
     
  13. wb1

    wb1 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    08.05.12
    Messages:
    276
    Decision-
     
    Last edited: 05.18.14
  14. Glimmer1991

    Glimmer1991 SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    05.05.12
    Messages:
    3,501
    Location:
    NC
    Status:
    Dental Student
    If you guys went the LDR route, how often would you get to see him? If the answer is every weekend, that wouldn't be so bad. I've done it for 4 years.
     
  15. Flashes23

    Flashes23 DMD STUDENT 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    08.17.13
    Messages:
    104
    Status:
    Dental Student
  16. sacapuntas

    sacapuntas Verified Account 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    02.25.11
    Messages:
    1,544
    Status:
    Dental Student
    1) how would seeing each other every weekend be even remotely possible while still saving money?

    2) Dating =/= marriage.
     
  17. Glimmer1991

    Glimmer1991 SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    05.05.12
    Messages:
    3,501
    Location:
    NC
    Status:
    Dental Student
    Unless I've googled the wrong places (and I may very well have), the drive is about 5 hours one-way. Depending on gas mileage, that isn't *so* terrible. My car can do that for about $35 bucks one-way.

    She can go live with him during the summer and school breaks.

    $70 x 45 weeks: $3150/year

    About #2, I don't think that putting the "marriage" title on a relationship necessarily makes it any more legitimate than mine. :)

    I'm just saying that I've pretty much been in her spot, and it worked for us. However, the drive for us was only 2.5-3 hours one way. I thought a personal example might help. She asked, so she is clearly considering this--and it can work either way.

    Also, could he not start searching for a job now and move there once he finds one? Is there truly NO opportunity for him there?

    If UNLV is truly where you would rather be at school, I'd be trying to work something out. Even if he has to commute 45 minutes a day to his job, that is pretty standard for many people. If the ONLY reason you would rather be there is because of the 40k difference... then that's a terrible choice to make.
     
    Last edited: 05.16.14
  18. sacapuntas

    sacapuntas Verified Account 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    02.25.11
    Messages:
    1,544
    Status:
    Dental Student
    Simply considering the cost of gas, sure, looks good. Counting time spent on the road 45+ weeks a year, lack of daily contact/support, costs beyond gas, hectic D1 schedule, eh starting to not sound so good.

    Yes it does, legally and societally.

    You've gone to dental school with a spouse that lived 6 hours away?

    Giving up a career at an engineering firm that values him enough to accommodate a transfer already is a large sacrifice. His compensation is probably significant and finding comparable work in LV might be a tall task. That would be an ideal scenario, however full of risk.

    ASDOH is a fantastic school, so at least the OP won't be going to a school inferior to UNLV if that is her decision.
     
    UltimateHombre likes this.
  19. LaughingGas

    LaughingGas 5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    05.17.10
    Messages:
    1,689
    Status:
    Dental Student
    As a married person, ASDOH easy.
     
    sacapuntas likes this.
  20. dieanotherday

    dieanotherday Class of 2018. Yay... :)

    Joined:
    12.19.13
    Messages:
    433
    Status:
    Dental Student
    Thanks for all your input.
    I was caught up in getting into my first choice, the one I've been yearning to get into and didn't think about the convenience of my best option now which is ASDOH.
    I love ASDOH, it just wasn't as obvious due to the price and I wasn't sure if he was able to come with me at all.
    We talked it over and what I hadn't really truly considered is that the company he works at will be financing his grad school completely should he choose to pursue a masters or ph.d in computer science which can be started and finished by the time I will be done as well. He's shown me the numbers of where that would put him financially with pay increases in addition to the extra degree and there is no better option than ASDOH for me.

    I was just being too narrowminded I forgot to think about his career aspirations and his desire to pursue grad school too.
    With that said, I will be withdrawing my offer early next week. Best of luck to whoever gets it after me!
     
    Bereno and sacapuntas like this.
  21. UltimateHombre

    UltimateHombre Doc Holliday D.D.S. 5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    05.10.10
    Messages:
    1,144
    Status:
    Dental Student
    dieanotherday... I think you made the right decision. Being away from your spouse for 4 years would be very difficult. Not to mention, we will get to be classmates at ASDOH!! Holla!!
     
    Bereno and dieanotherday like this.

About the ads

Similar Threads
  1. nyczsage
    Replies:
    10
    Views:
    1,212
  2. 319671
    Replies:
    6
    Views:
    1,328
  3. uvache
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    647
  4. wholeheartedly
    Replies:
    10
    Views:
    1,175
  5. Allaboutteeth5
    Replies:
    9
    Views:
    772
Loading...

Share This Page