Basically you want this?
So if somone is really rude to me, you want me to be like
?
Punches me up some more and still
(with a broken tooth)?
Some more
(no teeth left)...
hey there
! *punch* owww...thanks so much you're the best!
do it to me again!
wow that wasn't hard enough try once more
!! you're welcome anytime! please come again soon!
😍
Finally, some insight. tqb, I was about to recap the facts and situation but I see that floppy has already done this.
This is, essentially what you must do, not only in residency, but in any social interaction.
There is a time to make a stand, and a time to go meekly about your business. It appears to me, and this is only my opinion, that you have demonstrated a singular lack of insight into this. Part of this may not be your fault, but at your age, you might have seen this a time or two and seen the results of this along your path. You are obviously very bright, but need to understand that, regardless of the forum, virtual, pub or hospital, people are observing and interpreting. I cannot disagree with all those who have observed your writings.
We all lack insight from time to time, and it can occasionally get one into serious trouble. On of the better ways to learn ones blind spots is to seek the counsel of others, which you have done by turning to this forum. Yet, when others observe and comment on what they see as problematic, your pattern appears to be to nitpick the format/tone of the message and ignore the meat. This does not serve you well in your quest for insight into solving your present dilemma.
Let me give an analogy, poor though it may be. If you are driving in heavy traffic on the LI Expressway maintaining a good safe distance and another car darts in front of you, do you ram him from behind? Probably not. Extend your finger and shout obscenities? Possibly, but what good does that do? Get you shot? Make you feel good? Let it roll off, man and get to your destination unscathed. Proving you are right gets you nowhere and will not change anyone's behavior and will be harmful to you. Let it go.
Likewise with interpersonal actions. In the movie A River Runs through it, there is a line, "The world is full of ------, the number increasing the further you get from Missoula Montana." Might be true, but when you're surrounded by them, you can become like them or not. The choice is yours, not theirs. You cannot change their behavior, and if they have any clout, you do have to do exactly what you said, until you reach your goal and can escape.
Yes you have the right to defend yourself. You have the right to be belligerant and bellicose, but not everywhere. You even have the right to chastise a medical student who delivers a message in a format you don't particularly like. But beating a med student is roughly akin to beating puppies. It is not something nice people do. You have the right to knock the snot out of anyone who gets in your way, in some parts of the world. But should you? This is where insight and judgement come to play. Coupled with rights comes judgement. You have the right to keep your wallet, but judgement says you should give it to the mugger who has the pistol pointed at your heart as you stroll alone down E. 116th St at midnight.
Common sense says you do not become flippant with an attending. Common sense says that everyone has something to contribute in any endeavor. Common sense says that one is not always right or blameless. Common sense says when we screw up, we go, hat in hand, and admit it, ask for forgiveness and then move on, trying to do better, which you implied that you have to some extent. Let us hope it is not too little too late, but that is also a possibility you must consider.
You've come to this board for insight and advice. You have received it. You have criticized the format of the message, the content of the message, given us enormous detail and we have individually come to some conclusions, which are remarkable similar, yet each from our own background and knowledge, independently of each other.
Every one of us has blind spots. When those blind spots interfere with our aspirations and we do not see them, we seek the counsel of others. Occasionally, we need to seek the counsel of professionals who can help us gain insight into those blind spots, guide us to remove them or work around them.
