Do I need to have my mom come to the white coat ceremony?

[TexasTriathlete]

I'm not even sure when this is. Supposedly some time in October or something. I know this is supposed to be a big deal and all, but I'm ****in 30 years old, and I don't need my mom to be there to be proud of me for stuff like this anymore.

Also, she is back in school herself, and she doesn't exactly make a great living these days. Not sure when she's done with everything, and able to resume a regular work schedule again, but I don't think it will be until after this fall. She's got some thesis or some **** that she has to do, and I know she's not done yet.

I know she'd gladly come, but for her sake, I'd just as soon not tell her about it. I don't want her to feel obligated to blow money on a flight when I know she's barely scraping by. And I know I won't have the cash to pay for her ticket either.

I'm not as concerned with the rest of my family. I'm pretty self-sufficient, as far as they're concerned. But my mom is a different deal. She'd be pissed if I didn't tell her that most people had their families come in for this, but it really isn't a huge deal to me, and I'd just as soon her save the money.

Opinions?

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[Punchap]

I'm not even sure when this is. Supposedly some time in October or something. I know this is supposed to be a big deal and all, but I'm ****in 30 years old, and I don't need my mom to be there to be proud of me for stuff like this anymore.

Also, she is back in school herself, and she doesn't exactly make a great living these days. Not sure when she's done with everything, and able to resume a regular work schedule again, but I don't think it will be until after this fall. She's got some thesis or some **** that she has to do, and I know she's not done yet.

I know she'd gladly come, but for her sake, I'd just as soon not tell her about it. I don't want her to feel obligated to blow money on a flight when I know she's barely scraping by. And I know I won't have the cash to pay for her ticket either.

I'm not as concerned with the rest of my family. I'm pretty self-sufficient, as far as they're concerned. But my mom is a different deal. She'd be pissed if I didn't tell her that most people had their families come in for this, but it really isn't a huge deal to me, and I'd just as soon her save the money.

Opinions?

I'm in a similar position. I don't want my family (mainly my mom who doesn't have a lot of $) to feel they need to fly to Florida for the ceremony. I have a feeling a lot of students will have family there, but to me it's not such a big deal...it's not like we're graduating or anything. I would tell her about the ceremony, but downplay it.

 

[fireflygirl]

I know it sounds silly but if you are worried about how your mom will react TT, you are probably right in that she would probably want to be there. Even if she doesn't have the money and starts to fuss about it, at least she can make the decision about whether she can come. It may not be a big deal for you but it might be for her and whether you're 30 or 60, I know that parents will always have the same kind of pride and love for you that they had when you were born. At least you can give her the option to come.

 

[bravotwozero]

I for one do not think this is a big deal. My parents did not come for my white coat ceremony, for monetary/logistical reasons, and I'm totally ok with that.
Other students didn't have their folks over, either, and their parents lived a lot closer (Alabama to Florida, as opposed to going from Canada to Florida). C'est la vie, man.

The only time I would expect my parents to be there would be if I were graduating from medical school. Now that IS a big deal, and an important milestone.

 

[slim78]

I probably won't tell my mom. She won't even know what it is or that she missed anything. I didn't go to my own undergraduate graduation and neither did my parents. Just didn't seem like a big deal since I knew I wasn't even close to being done with school.

I figure I'll let them save up to come to my med school graduation.

 

[DrMidlife]

My mom will come because she freaking LOVES that crap. There's no way I'd make her do it otherwise.

 

[Buckeye4life]

I was 29 for my wcc. My wife and many of my family members were there. I never considered my age a factor. It's more for family anyways, imo, since they get to talk to all their friends about how they saw their loved one cross the stage to get their white coat. I guess I'm just sentimental.

 

[spicedmanna]

Well, I think you should at least give your mom the option. The white coating ceremony is actually not as much for us as it is for our family and friends. It is a relatively new tradition. We know that it doesn't mean much until we actually hit clinicals in third year. However, parents and close friends eat it up. Your age doesn't matter. I'm 35 and I invited my parents to my WCC. I'm very glad I did. They were very happy. It's a milestone of sorts and probably a good idea to invite family to attend. Give them the chance to decline, if not interested.

 

[Nikki2002]

i think you should let her know about it. she might really want to come...and the sooner you let her know, the further in advance she will be able to get a plane ticket and save as much money as possible.


and so what if you are 30? let her be happy and be proud of you.

 

[harleyman]

How about you buy the ticket for her? Just a thought.

 

[ThisIsYourLife]

I didn't even have to mention it to my mom.. she already knew about the tradition.. and my sisters mom dad and some aunts uncles and cousins are coming down for it.. mainly I know they want to head to Florida in the middle of a January in Chicago because its WARM and they want to have a reason for it! But.. my mom wouldn't miss it for the world.. even if she had to walk here.. so you may want to let your mom know, so she can make the decision herself.. just tell her its not a big deal to you, but alert her anyway!

 

[jace's mom]

TT,

I think you should tell your mom and let her make the decision. Explain it just like you did to us, and make it clear to her that you're okay with her not attending. Don't be surprised if she still decides to be there! As a parent, I know that I'm proud of my kids, always will be, and will want to be there for them no matter what age.

As a daughter...my mother was my cheerleader and my biggest fan. She lived every step of this journey with me, praying all the way. She passed away in February of this year, and I have orientation next week. I thought she was going to be there at my ceremony in September, sitting in her wheelchair and giving me that brilliant smile (my mom had the best smile in the universe). I'm 34, and I would give anything to have her there.

Tell your mom. She loves you. And if she goes, give her a really big hug and be extraordinarily grateful.

 

[Gpan]

If I were your mom (that's weird, I know😀), I'd want to be there. My little boy is becoming a DOCTOR. Why wouldn't I want to witness that.

 

[TexasTriathlete]

If I were your mom (that's weird, I know😀), I'd want to be there. My little boy is becoming a DOCTOR. Why wouldn't I want to witness that.

I know. There is no doubt in my mind that this would be probably the proudest moment of her life. But to me, it just doesn't mean that much. I don't feel like I've accomplished anything yet.

I guess I'll go ahead and at least tell her about it. Maybe she's got frequent flyer miles or something.

 

[Old_Mil]

Let her save the money and fly out for graduation. Every year, there are a few people who bring family to the white coat ceremony and then proceed to fail out of medical school. Remember, the worst possible outcome isn't not getting in to medical school, it's failing out with two years of student loans on your back.

(One of the reasons I think the white coat ceremony should be scheduled between 2nd and 3rd years after Step 1 is taken...)

 

[bonesawz]

They are a waste of time and travel. Tell mom to take the money she would have spent on travel now and use it to take you out to a nice dinner after she comes for graduation...after you've accompished something big. What does the white coat ceremony celebrate anyway...the fact that you drove from your home to your new medical school without getting lost? Also, I had always thought the white coat ceremony was to mark the beginning of the road to being a physician. Many med schools also offer degrees in other programs in the health care field, and now they have a white coat ceremony which is combined with the med students' WCC. Its like back in little league when they gave everyone a trophy, it didn't mean much anymore.

 

[spicedmanna]

They are a waste of time and travel. Tell mom to take the money she would have spent on travel now and use it to take you out to a nice dinner after she comes for graduation...after you've accompished something big. What does the white coat ceremony celebrate anyway...the fact that you drove from your home to your new medical school without getting lost? Also, I had always thought the white coat ceremony was to mark the beginning of the road to being a physician. Many med schools also offer degrees in other programs in the health care field, and now they have a white coat ceremony which is combined with the med students' WCC. Its like back in little league when they gave everyone a trophy, it didn't mean much anymore.

Doesn't mean much anymore? It never meant much, especially given that the white coating ceremony is a very young tradition. No, I think we all recognize that it isn't that big of a deal for us, but it's a great way for parents, etc., to join in on celebrating the beginning of our journey into medicine, that we've actually made it to this point, something that less than half of the people who apply are able to accomplish. Also, let's face it, once you get into medical school, unless you are one of those very rare birds, you'll more than likely make it through and become a physician.

Anyway, coming from a broader standpoint, this ceremony is a way for parents, family, and close friends to join in on the celebration of your entry into medicine. It's not always just about you. There are those who stood by you and supported you through the process. I agree that graduation is a hugely bigger deal, but why deny parents/family the opportunity to be happy about your entry into medical school and the profession? At least give them the chance to say that they aren't interested, if that is the case.

 

[HCE]

Let her save the money and fly out for graduation. Every year, there are a few people who bring family to the white coat ceremony and then proceed to fail out of medical school. Remember, the worst possible outcome isn't not getting in to medical school, it's failing out with two years of student loans on your back.

(One of the reasons I think the white coat ceremony should be scheduled between 2nd and 3rd years after Step 1 is taken...)

Agreed. Wait until you qualify for the big-boy (or girl) white coat.

 

[roc]

my parents were saying that it would cost around $800 RT flights. they said instead they would just pay for flight to India for christmas break

I think it is a bigger deal for the graduation. maybe !!

 

[CDO2012]

My Parents probably won't come.. WAY so far for them to travel for one day.

 

[Milamber]

I'm not even sure I want to go to my ceramony. I'm training for a marathon and it so happens my WCC is on the same weekend in two very far apart states. I'm debating weather I should go to the WCC or run the Marathon. I somehow get the impression that I'll just be bored at my WCC listening to some guest speaker prattle on and on...

 

[TexasTriathlete]

Run the marathon. It might be your last chance to train for something like that for quite some time.

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[Jimmi]

definitely skip the whitecoat and wait till graduation.

 

[Birdeee]

So what did you do? Did you tell her and did she come?

My husband had his WCC at Western a couple of weeks ago and I didn't go ( I am staying in Portland and teaching) but two of our kids (ages 20 and 23) went and they were very happy that they did and I was glad some family showed up. They both said that it made it seem real to them and they were so proud of their dad. I decided to use the money for a separate weekend visit later in the fall when he won't be so busy and he was fine with that.

 

[DannMann99]

PCOMs WCC isn't till 1st wk in october...

 

[Mozart45]

I second the idea of at least telling your mom about it and letting her decide if she wants to go.

 

[OddNath]

Run the marathon. It might be your last chance to train for something like that for quite some time.

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Nah, I thought 2nd year of med school was a perfect time to train for a marathon. So is 4th year.

 

[Bamish]

Yeah TT, I agree with the other people that have suggested you tell her about it. I would just let her know that it's not a big deal and perhaps she could wait until graduation. I can appreciate you being concerned about her financial situation, but if you don't tell her you'll probably feel bad about not doing so. Good luck! 🙂