Good point. I wonder what long term effects a low dose might have.
Will look into this.
Yeah, I think I'm anxious or trying to hard. Definitely not relaxed. Thx
If you seek a doctor to help you with this then you should get a baseline EKG of course. I would think a low dose like maybe 20 mg would be o.k.
Long term? One of our head trauma/ICU surgeons told his personal story that he convinced his internist to start him on a B-blocker many many years ago. He thinks it's been rather protective against some of the stress-induced catecholamine release many in this line of work (procedures under, at times, stressful circumstances) are "exposed to".
I think everyone has a different fight/flight response. I believe some people get a very pronounced adrenal discharge, thus causing things like tremor and palpitations.
Do you get palpitations? If so, then maybe a low dose B-blocker would help you a great deal. Propranolol seems to be the drug of choice for these things, and it's been used to treat performance anxiety, off label, for a long time.
You should do this through your doctor of course, to make sure there are no contraindications. But, look into it. You will find references to things like professional musicians and public speakers using them for this purpose.
I'm sure that the surgeons are rather in tuned to this as well.
Also, like another poster stated, desensitization is a big factor too. So, maybe you use it to get over this little hump so you don't get discouraged and make matters work by focusing on it. Perhaps it doesn't even need to be a super long term thing for you. But, if it does, I'm not sure it would harm you, and may even help you if it's catecholamine driven for you.
Good luck. But, no, don't let this discourage you from this field so readily.