Docs vs Nurses, subconscious factors?

[justwondering]

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i'll probably regret this post, but oh well....

this occurred to me when i was on one of my rotations in the ICU with a guy who i went to high schl with (also a med student). i had just recently discovered that one of the icu nurses also had gone to high schl with us (she was in my class). i thought it was really interesting that the med student i was with (who is a verryyy nice guy) couldn't have been less interested in talking to her beyond saying hello. she was a cheerleader (or something like that) in high schl, had no idea who i was even tho i was in her class and knew who she was. she said something to the med student (who had been an athlete) which showed that she knew who he was, and that she and her friends would notice him as "that guy with the beard". hardly flattering considering she would never have talked to him because he wasn't "cool" enough.

im nice to anyone working in the hospital whethe they're an attending, nurse, or cafeteria worker, but i do have to say that i felt that all those years of being looked down upon by ppl like her-- because i did well in schl and wasnt part of their crowd-- were worth it when i saw that she no longer had the upper hand by default.


so, im wondering if this dr vs nurse animosity might be partly related to that, especially with female docs and female nurses... im sure not every doc had to go thru the same stuff im talking about above, but im sure some did.

im not trying to elicit sympathy or insults, im just trying to be honest because i think this could be an issue for others too, unconsciously..

and b4 anyone jumps on me,none of the above is an excuse for treating ppl badly regardless of whether ure a nurse or a doc.

 

[Faebinder]

i'll probably regret this post, but oh well....

this occurred to me when i was on one of my rotations in the ICU with a guy who i went to high schl with (also a med student). i had just recently discovered that one of the icu nurses also had gone to high schl with us (she was in my class). i thought it was really interesting that the med student i was with (who is a verryyy nice guy) couldn't have been less interested in talking to her beyond saying hello. she was a cheerleader (or something like that) in high schl, had no idea who i was even tho i was in her class and knew who she was. she said something to the med student (who had been an athlete) which showed that she knew who he was, and that she and her friends would notice him as "that guy with the beard". hardly flattering considering she would never have talked to him because he wasn't "cool" enough.

im nice to anyone working in the hospital whethe they're an attending, nurse, or cafeteria worker, but i do have to say that i felt that all those years of being looked down upon by ppl like her-- because i did well in schl and wasnt part of their crowd-- were worth it when i saw that she no longer had the upper hand by default.


so, im wondering if this dr vs nurse animosity might be partly related to that, especially with female docs and female nurses... im sure not every doc had to go thru the same stuff im talking about above, but im sure some did.

im not trying to elicit sympathy or insults, im just trying to be honest because i think this could be an issue for others too, unconsciously..

and b4 anyone jumps on me,none of the above is an excuse for treating ppl badly regardless of whether ure a nurse or a doc.

I wouldn't know what to say to a chick I knew from high school and havent seen since then.... Life changes you so much to the point that people from high school are like a dream from the past.... That's my two cents... I am sure people are different and some are still in contact with their high school friends. Plus the relationship between a high school athlete and a high school cheer leader might not have been all that rosey...

 

[deleted109597]

It's like being at your 10 or 20 year reunion. Now you can call whatever clique you didn't hang with all kinds of names. Then take your rental Ferrari back to your hotel with your 3 paid escorts for the night. I plan on wearing my diplomas on my back.

 

[bkpa2med]

It's like being at your 10 or 20 year reunion. Now you can call whatever clique you didn't hang with all kinds of names. Then take your rental Ferrari back to your hotel with your 3 paid escorts for the night. I plan on wearing my diplomas on my back.

👍

 

[TheMightyAngus]

I plan on wearing my diplomas on my back.

Ha!

 

[Samoa]

You guys are funny. My high school reunion was full of doctors, lawyers, astronauts, investment bankers and the like, with the occasional Houston socialite thrown in. My class was ridiculously smart and driven. Even the girls who went into nursing were ICU Directors by then.

There was a small contingent of housewives and blue-collar workers, but pretty much everybody else was at least a college graduate, and most had advanced degrees of some sort.

 

[deleted109597]

You must have gone to a magnet school. I dread going to my wife's reunion. They will all be like "What, you're both just doctors?"

 

[justwondering]

i think the med student had played football...that doesnt necessarily translate into conflict with cheerleaders.

 

[RuralMedicine]

i think the med student had played football...that doesnt necessarily translate into conflict with cheerleaders.

But didn't you state in your original post that she and her friends would have never spoken to him because he wasn't cool enough? It sounds like they had a tenuous connection at best in high school and probably haven't interacted much (more likely at all) since...why is it surprising that he acts polite but nothing more. What more would you expect?

Personally as a varsity athlete in high school and college if I happened to run into someone on a team I had been on or peripherally connected to that then it might come up. Otherwise I tended to approach nurses and other members of the health care team politely and focus on information relevant to patient care not hobbies or past aquaintances.

 

[Samoa]

Yeah, it was a foreign language magnet, officially. But it was the kind of school where people used all kinds of address scams to get their kids zoned there. In fact, at least half of my circle of friends were either magnet students or "living" with relatives.

The year before my brother went to high school, the district redrew the zoning boundaries, and whole neighborhoods were up in arms over the fact that their kids were no longer zoned there. In fact, my own house wouldn't have been zoned, but for a little gerrymandering--I presume on behalf of some well-connected neighbors.

 

[Bertelman]

This kind of crap is exactly why I chose to never go to my high school reunion. Honestly, the only peple I care about from that era are still my friends. Otherwise, I just feared that it would be full of people who were once popular but now trying to relive that distant fame, or those that were shat on but now wildly successful.


I don't really wanna hang with either group. 😴

 

[Samoa]

Yes, well, I had friends in both groups, and was in neither group myself. So I went to see what had happened to the various guys I'd had crushes on in high school. Just as I'd expected, time had not been kind to them. Meanwhile my guy friends got better looking with age. Yay for the smart kids.

 

[SLUser11]

This kind of crap is exactly why I chose to never go to my high school reunion. Honestly, the only peple I care about from that era are still my friends. Otherwise, I just feared that it would be full of people who were once popular but now trying to relive that distant fame, or those that were shat on but now wildly successful.


I don't really wanna hang with either group. 😴

Are you kidding? That's exactly the reason why you should have gone! The people-watching at these events is priceless.

I went to my five year reunion and it was great.....as long as you have nothing to prove, it can be alot of fun.

 

[Bertelman]

Are you kidding? That's exactly the reason why you should have gone! The people-watching at these events is priceless.

I went to my five year reunion and it was great.....as long as you have nothing to prove, it can be alot of fun.

Yeah, I'm usually all for the people watching. Not quite sure why this just didn't appeal to me. My typical people watching doesn't actually involve exchanging pleasantries, though. I'm more of a spectator. I may not have been able to hold back my catty comments if one of them engaged me.

 

[justwondering]

rural,
i was just saying that a high schl cheerleader and football player dont have to have conflicts by default, there was obviously more involved there (like the fact that the guy was extremely hardworking, and probably not into partying as hard as the rest, thus "uncool"). and im not suprised that he was not interested in talking to her. my point is that a small part of the doc vs nurse grievances could be subconsiously due to factors like these (ie subconscious: ppl like that nurse made my life miserable until i left for college, maybe i wont be so forgiving if she makes a minor mistake or does anything even remotely irritating). of course not all nurses were "popular" at one time nor all docs 'unpoplular".

 

[NonTradMed]

My high school reunion should be fun to go to I suppose. I haven't seen any of my high school friends since before I graduated college (parents moved to another city and I attended college in a third city). I dont' think I'll have anything to 'show off' because, from what I've heard, a few of my high school classmates are also doctors and one, who attended college with me, attended a super prestigeous one and is now doing her residency in neurosurgery. But I can see why some people who felt slighted in high school will feel the urge to show off a bit....

 

[Tired]

rural,
i was just saying that a high schl cheerleader and football player dont have to have conflicts by default, there was obviously more involved there (like the fact that the guy was extremely hardworking, and probably not into partying as hard as the rest, thus "uncool"). and im not suprised that he was not interested in talking to her. my point is that a small part of the doc vs nurse grievances could be subconsiously due to factors like these (ie subconscious: ppl like that nurse made my life miserable until i left for college, maybe i wont be so forgiving if she makes a minor mistake or does anything even remotely irritating). of course not all nurses were "popular" at one time nor all docs 'unpoplular".

Perhaps the issue was really the general relationship between nurses and med students. After a few months of getting kicked around by nurses on their 3rd year rotations, a lot of med students learn that the less interaction they have with nurses, the better their overall emotional health is.