Does anyone else use condoms in marriage?

mimi1 said:
Many women get pregnant immediately after coming off the pill. Anything is possible.

I ovulated only 3 weeks after coming off the pill and had very fertile cervical fluid after 5-6 cycles. A lot of women who go off the pill with the intent of getting pregnant never even have a period; they are pregnant on the first cycle. However, tigress said it *can* take a long time to restore normal fertility, and this is very true and something women should probably be aware of if they are on a fairly tight timeline. Problems involve damage and scarring in the cervical crypts that produce the fluid and hiding places for the little swimmy sperms, as well as trouble getting the luteal phase regulated (it can be short for several cycles, allowing insufficient time for implantation) and the glaring problem that tigress is having, anovulation.

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ITA with Alison. I had the most fertile cervical fluid of all my cycles right after coming off the pill. I ovulated regularly (and have every single cycle so far). So getting pregnant would probably have not been an issue. I did have a short luteal phase (9 days) right off the pill but it got longer after that first month.
 
Actually, gyns will often tell you to have protected sex the first 2 cycles after going off the pill as there is an increased risk of miscarriage until things are back to normal (no, I can't cite the paper on that).
 
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I have never heard that. I have heard that there is increased risk of multiple births, but I've also read (more recently) that that is not true.

Actually I found this:

Ford JH; MacCormac L.
Pregnancy and lifestyle study: the long-term use of the contraceptive pill and the risk of age-related miscarriage.
Human Reproduction, 1995 Jun, 10(6):1397-402.
(UI: 96061113)
Abstract: Maternal ageing is a very important factor in aneuploidy. It is associated with an increased risk of a liveborn trisomy, especially Down's syndrome, and with a dramatic increase in trisomic conceptions, the majority of which miscarry. A total of 585 volunteer couples who were planning pregnancies participated in a prospective study of reproduction. The couples answered extensive questionnaires and early pregnancy tests (day 28) were conducted each month. The number of years of contraceptive pill use was correlated with pregnancy outcome. Lowered rates of miscarriage were found with increased years of pill use. The cut-off point for this positive effect appeared to be 9 years. Use of oral contraceptives for > or = 9 years was associated with a spontaneous abortion rate of 11.3%, which is about half the rate (23%) which was found in couples who had not used the pill. However, the effect of pill taking was correlated with female age, and when age was examined as an independent factor, the reduction in miscarriage was only statistically significant in women > 30 years old, where the rate of abortion reduced from 28 to 7%. Because age-related aneuploidy in humans probably occurs as a direct or an indirect result of follicle depletion, it is proposed that the long-term use of the oral contraceptive pill protects against abortion due to aneuploidy by preserving the number of follicles.
 
I have to qualify that 'often' includes a sample of 2: The GYNs of my current and my ex wife ;)
 
tigress said:
bananaface, where can one find latex-free condoms? I've looked but I've never seen them in a store.

You should be able to buy polyurethane condoms in any drug store (Rite-Aid, CVS, Walgreen's, etc). They are marketed under the brand name "Avanti" by Durex, maybe others as well. They are fairly spendy, you can also try Planned Parenthood and similar organizations for lower cost condoms.

And thanks, lulubean!
 
I remember a japanese brand, I believe they were made from a silicone based product.
 
We tried those Avanti ones and we hated them. They also come in like a box of 3 I think.

I am pretty sure you can find anything on condomania.com.

As for having protected sex right after BCP, I think a lot of GYNs will tell you that bc it is harder to determine when conception occured if a woman's periods are not regular (which is often the case after BCP).
 
bananaface said:
Yesh... if you wants to schmell like ded animull.


Yes bananaface...they smell like dead animal. :rolleyes:

Katee
 
Mistress S said:
You should be able to buy polyurethane condoms in any drug store (Rite-Aid, CVS, Walgreen's, etc). They are marketed under the brand name "Avanti" by Durex, maybe others as well. They are fairly spendy, you can also try Planned Parenthood and similar organizations for lower cost condoms.

And thanks, lulubean!

I'm not crazy about the Avantis myself. They're damned hard to unroll, for one thing. Trojan makes a polyurethane condom, but I haven't tried it because there is nonoxynol-9 on it. I did see a condom review on Slate and actually the Trojan got high marks. Why they won't make one without the spermicide I have no idea. The only other polyurethane option I have found (and believe me, I have looked) is the female condom, either the Reality brand, or the FC made by Kimono.
 
bananaface said:
I smelled one once. They are quite rank, no jest.


Really? Mine weren't bad at all. Maybe you have a sensitive nose? :D

Now I'm curious.

Katee
 
I just started using the ring and absolutely love it. I have a few concerns about cramps (i need hormone control for cramps which is why I was on OCP's) but that was just the first month. So far so good. On my 3rd month and so much easier. I did not have any side effects either (spotting, decreased libido, etc).

I have a thing with condoms that I think I could possibly be allergie because I get VERY VERY sore quite easily (even while using lubrication) so since I'm with the same person I just use the ring. But I wish I could use a condom sometimes for this concern. My question being this, would frequency of sex decrease the efficacy of the contraception? Anyone know anything about this? I was reading something about this somewhere but lost the website. If someone were to increase sexual activity to say daily, how would that effect the efficacy of OCP's/IUD/Ring?
 
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That makes no sense. Most hormonal conctraceptives impede ovulation. Regardless of how often you have sex, even unprotected, semen will not cause you to have an LH surge and to therefore ovulate. If you are on low-dose and your BCP (or ring) just impedes implantation, then I guess it is technically more probable that you would fertalize an egg but it wouldn't implant.
 
tlew12778 said:
That makes no sense. Most hormonal conctraceptives impede ovulation. Regardless of how often you have sex, even unprotected, semen will not cause you to have an LH surge and to therefore ovulate. If you are on low-dose and your BCP (or ring) just impedes implantation, then I guess it is technically more probable that you would fertalize an egg but it wouldn't implant.
True, I was just wondering how the figures would work. I suppose if you can't implant then you "shouldn't" be able to get pregnant. That being said, women on diffrent methods still have gotten pregnant while on the pill, so don't ask me how that works.
 
brotherbloat said:
I am a married 28-year old woman who uses condoms exclusively in marriage (and before as well.) As I have no married female friends to ask, I wondered how common it is for others to use condoms even while married. Once you're married, do you give them up? If so, what do you use?

For me, I don't want to take birth control pills because I don't want to mess around with my hormones, and I feel that other methods are too unreliable.

Just wondering.

We use them exclusively. I can not take hormonal BC at all and we're trying to space out our children. So far it has been the best option for us. Also, my Sister-in-law (also married to a MD) uses condoms as well, b/c she doesnt feel comfortable taking hormones.
 
bananaface said:
Yes, some couples who are married do choose to use condoms as their primary means of contraception.

As far as the pill goes, the mechanisms by which it prevents pregnancy are the same as those experienced by women who are breastfeeding. Estrogen and progesterone are found endogenously in women's bodies. It's not like you are introducing a foreign substance. If you don't want to mess with your hormones, you won't ever want to get pregnant. ;)

Whoever said polyurethane condoms are more comfortable was right on. (They would be even if I wasn't allergic to latex! :laugh: )

If BCPs dont "mess with your hormones" then why do I have almost a constant migrain while on ANY hormonal BC, but almost never have them when I am no longer introducing foreign hormones into my body? I firmly believe that you should not introduce any foreign substance into your body, especially hormones, unless the benefits greatly outweigh the risks and side effects. (though i realize that posting on a physician's board wont exactly win me much agreement here.)

Anyway, just my thoughts on the subject.
 
While living with my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband, we used condoms. I don't see the deal with using condoms while married; it was just a convenient form of birth control. We used them in combination with spermicidal inserts or spermicidal film. When I went on the Pill, we still used condoms and spermicide - the deal was, at that point, I had decided I absolutely did not want to conceive this man's children (this was shortly before I moved out).
 
bananaface said:
As far as the pill goes, the mechanisms by which it prevents pregnancy are the same as those experienced by women who are breastfeeding. Estrogen and progesterone are found endogenously in women's bodies. It's not like you are introducing a foreign substance. If you don't want to mess with your hormones, you won't ever want to get pregnant. ;)

This is one of those things I think new physicians will see a lot of making that transition from theory to practice. They SHOULDN'T be any different, but women may have amazing side effects from birth control pills, and different ones behave differently. I tried several back in the 80's on two occasions and every darn one found a new way to make me sick as a dog.
 
thirdunity said:
While living with my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband, we used condoms. I don't see the deal with using condoms while married; it was just a convenient form of birth control. We used them in combination with spermicidal inserts or spermicidal film. When I went on the Pill, we still used condoms and spermicide - the deal was, at that point, I had decided I absolutely did not want to conceive this man's children (this was shortly before I moved out).

I doubt you would. I think most of the downside to this form of BC is on the male end.
 
mshheaddoc said:
That being said, women on diffrent methods still have gotten pregnant while on the pill, so don't ask me how that works.
BC they either take it incorrectly or take something like antibiotics that interferes with the BCP's efficaciousness.

bananaface said:
As far as the pill goes, the mechanisms by which it prevents pregnancy are the same as those experienced by women who are breastfeeding.
Actually I think that women who are breastfeeding have excessive amounts of prolactin which prevents ovulation. I *think* that this is actually one of the symptoms of PCOS as well, which is why some women who have it do not ovulate.
 
MoosePilot said:
I doubt you would. I think most of the downside to this form of BC is on the male end.

He didn't have a problem with it, either. Most of my male partners have not had a problem with condoms - most of them had never done it *without* a condom. Although, I grew up during the time when the AIDS scare was new...
 
thirdunity said:
He didn't have a problem with it, either. Most of my male partners have not had a problem with condoms - most of them had never done it *without* a condom. Although, I grew up during the time when the AIDS scare was new...

I think I grew up in the same time period. Born in 1974. I got married young and my wife didn't mind BC pills. I'm spoiled. At one point had to switch back to condoms and actually thought it wasn't worth the effort.
 
tlew12778 said:
Actually I think that women who are breastfeeding have excessive amounts of prolactin which prevents ovulation. I *think* that this is actually one of the symptoms of PCOS as well, which is why some women who have it do not ovulate.
You think? I learned. ;) The MOAs are the same. Check the literature for yourself if you don't believe me.
 
I'm going to assume that you really did not mean that to sound so... snotty.

A women who is breasfeeding does not ovulate bc of elevated levels of prolactin which suppresses FSH and therefore ovulation. The BCP is either progestin based or progestin and estrogen based -- NOT prolactin based. The etrogen in the BCP suppresses FSH and LH and therefore ovulation. But estrogen is NOT prolactin.

Therefore the mechanism used by the BCP is NOT the same as that experienced by a breastfeeding woman, even though the end result may be the same.

Oh and not to be nitpicky, but the "progesterone" found in BCPs is actually progestin which is totally synthetic and is NOT found in women's bodies.
 
No more condoms for me baby. Just got snipped about 1 hour ago. I guess I will go lay on the couch, ice down the boys and have a beer.
 
Tasteestuff said:
Guy contributing to this thread.

Basically, she sacrificed her physical/emotional changes for 3 yrs for our marriage, I can definitely put on a condom (may take 2seconds) for healthier sex life.
sidenote, I noticed that I last much longer with condom than bareback (decrease in sensitivity perhaps.. ) She seems to be happier with that as well :D :D Am I being too descriptive?? :rolleyes:

As someone who never took the plunge (marriage, I mean;)), I do have to agree that condoms do help the man last longer, which is probably their biggest advantage.. Not that any man has ever a problem with that, right :laugh: If either partner is having a painful reaction or rash during or after using condoms, the problem probably is that you are allergic to Latex; prob. better to seek other methods of birth control in that case. With those kinds of Sx, I would not want sex either, you deserve better than to put up with the pain!
 
BB--If you want to go into medicine, maybe you should investigate the facts about birth control and stop thinking that you'll be the exception to all the rules and experience all the bad side effects. Side effects are possible but not nearly as common as you think they are. You act as if you are going to be the aberration that experiences every single side effect. If you do experience side effects, doses and which medication you take itself can be adjusted. Everyone's body works differently, that's why there are so many varieties available. You say you worry about acne...some birth control medications such as ortho tricyclen acutually IMPROVE your skin. You worry about mood troubles...you already seem to have mood/emotional issues...I doubt the pill would make them worse. And if it does, again, your medication and dosage can be adjusted. You worry about longer periods...with the pill periods usually become shorter and become very predictable. You will always know when your period is coming and it's much easier to plan your life and much less stressful that way. With new medications such as Seasonale, your period can be reduced to the point where you will only have it 3 times a year. Regarding weight can, it can occur, but it's not usually significant and if you eat right and excerise it is negligible. I think it's interesting how in this thread you state you have no sex drive and in another open thread you are bragging about how perfect your marriage is. I think that going on the pill should be the least of your worries. Consider going on anti-depressants first and seeking some therapy.
 
It seems like so many people on this thread have had bad experiences with the pill, so I am going to go the route of the previous post and reinforce some of the good aspects of BCPs. I have been on ortho tricyclen for almost 6 years now, and it has been great. It cleared up my skin significantly, shortened my periods, made them lighter and with less cramps, and....dramatic pause...I LOST weight. I talked to my OB later about this, and she said about the same percentage of people on the pill who gain weight also lose weight. I ended up dropping about 10 pounds..and I was not overweight to begin with. I had no problems with mood swings...if anything, they diminished. I have never had a problem remembering to take them...once you get yourself in the habit of taking them at the same time each day, it becomes second nature. I am also married, and found this method to be the best for me and my husband - they are pretty fool proof. The only downside is that if you have to go on antibiotics, the effectiveness is decreased for a short time, but I am healthy so this is not a big issue for me. I toyed with the idea of switching to low-dose pills because of previously expressed fears of messing with your body's natural chemicals, but I have had such great luck with ortho tri-cyclen that I would hate to try out another brand and be disappointed. Just one woman's opinion. BCPs were wonderful for me.
 
I have been very happy myself with :) "ortho tri-cyclen " :) I have been taking it for the past 3 years
 
mshheaddoc said:
True, I was just wondering how the figures would work. I suppose if you can't implant then you "shouldn't" be able to get pregnant. That being said, women on diffrent methods still have gotten pregnant while on the pill, so don't ask me how that works.


That only occurs in two real instances.

1. They forgot to take the pill at the same time period of the day. Women constantly say they don't forget but in reality many of them do, or they stay over at a guys house and don't have it to take in the mornign and don't take it until the next day.

2. They are on low dose BCP's and are some of the few that really shouldn't be on them (larger body mass)

3. Some say ABX's like erythromycin can cause decrease in efficacy, but I believe that was determined to be highly unlikely...
 
what do you guys think of the new birth control patch scare?
I am currently on the patch and have really loved it. I used to have a problem with Oral pills because I gained weight, mood swings, ect. With the patch I have not gained any weight, my skin is improved, and I have had no mood swings.

BUT>> the new scare is that you are three times more likely to have a blood clot due to the patch. This is scary. It is especially scary for me because I am also taking stimulants for ADD and I'm sure I have related hypertentsion at times. Possibly this increases the risk even more (correct me if i am wrong as I am not a doctor).

WHat do you guys think about these risks?
 
I think there is a big risk of thromboembolism with the patches. I've seen three cases in the last few months that I worked as an RT that were linked to them, and those cases combined with recent studies, have cemented my opinion that the risk is excessively high and finding a better alternative needs to be a high priority.

Personally I just wish I could find a doc who would do a vasectomy so that I didn't have to worry about this. Our first child is due in September and that's the only kid either of us want, but no doctor I've talked to will do a vasectomy on me because I'm only 24 and I only have one kid. Stupid rules......
 
would you guys find it weird if your female lab partner in school, (where you need to do case histories - real ones about yourself), tells you that she is with a new guy and is on the pill because she doesnt like condoms...

i thought, man, that's telling me more than i need to know in my classmates life...

on the pill = no protection against std... but of course i didn't want to go into anything...
 
tlew12778 said:
The sympto-thermal method, when used properly and conservatively has a failure method more around 1-2%. By conservative I mean taking your temp at the same time everyday under good sleep conditions and before getting out of bed and monitoring your cervical fluid everyday. If you want, you can also monitor your cervical position but not everyone does this. Once you've got that noted, it's up to you to make sure that you don't have unprotected sex beyond cycle day 5 or before 3 days after ovulation. If you want to be REALLY conservative about it, you abstain during that time. It's really quite simple. Trust me, if it had a 25% failure rate, we would NOT be using this method. I know a girl that has used this method successfully for FIVE YEARS to avoid pregnancy.
QUOTE]

We've (my husband and I) have used the ovulation method for 12 years...with success. Personally we have enjoyed saving money on Birth control, and enjoyed not taking the risks of Birth control. ...and yes, most methods of birth control, DO have risks associated with them.

I can say from experience that the "natural" methods DO work. It has worked for us for 12 years, during which we planned two children. Twelve years with no mistakes, failures, or problems. The failure rate is quite low as another poster pointed out. The "plus" side of "natural" methods is that it works for both prevention of pregnancy AND attainment of pregnancy depending on your goals! ...and no added health risks.

CD
 
Other than perhaps a latex allergy, what's the health risk involved with condoms? I don't see it as much inherent risk there.....other than perhaps a risk of pregnancy if things fail.....
 
hey, if you enjoy yourself with the use of condoms, then by all means stay with them.

but out of all the forms of bc out there, i would say the best is a diaphragm. and if you have the time/energy/interest, you can use the family planning as mentioned above with the use of a basal body thermometer to chart your cycle so you know what your body' going through. diaphragms are as reliable as condoms, esp. with use of a spermicide. and if you really want to go au naturel and have your cake too, then you can use aloe vera gel and a few lemon drops as the spermicide, which has the same effect as gynol II, without the damage.

if anyone's interested, there's a diaphragm forum on yahoo groups that has plenty of info on the topic. you can check it out without joining i think.

best of luck.
 
OP here--I truly can say that I haven't felt like having sex in months. No sex drive whatsoever, and yes, it is probalby related to my feelings that all of you seem to be so familair with.

My hubby doesn't seem to mind, he never approaches me about it, I really don't think it's a big deal to him, he's never been like most other guys when it comes (no pun intended ) to a lot of things.

Is it unusual to have no sex drive for three months in a row? In general, I've never been a very sexual person, though I started having sex early (in high school). I love my husband dearly, but I can't really see "putting out" and pretending to be into it. The condoms are part of the issue though--too much trouble to deal with, easier not to have sex at all.

I'm too poor for therapy so that's out. Talking here is much more helpful!

WOW! This just me feel a lot better about MY marriage. We usually go at it about once a month. And I have to say, that's nowhere near enough for me... (I'm the guy) For us, I think my wife's decreased drive is due to her long hours...(and kids) she is way too tired by the time we get the kids into bed. She is ok with this once a month thing (and could probably go longer). Me, I'd say twice (or at least once) a DAY would be my ideal comfort zone. :laugh: But, I am just trying to shoot for once a WEEK right now. I am attracted to wife so after a few weeks it gets to be torture. I would never cheat on her... and I would never go looking for an oppurtunity to cheat... (but I am also glad THAT oppurtunity has never landed in my lap (no pun intended). It is easy to let the brain downstairs make decisions without consulting the brain upstairs... especially when testosterone levels are through the roof) There's only so much (uhh)"self love" that can take the place of your wife. If my wife is reading.... "yeah, that's how we get by, love ya... but thank god for Playboy et al"

This old thread made me think that if you are going longer than a month... there's some issues. If your husband has not said anything to you... it is probably not because it doesn't bother him...

"Not like other guys" how? Does he have an impeccable sense of fashion? Does he drink Cosmos? Does he have one of those rainbow stickers on his car? Does he spend a lot of time at highway rest stops? Not normal... IMO

As for condoms.... they are stupid, archaic, and just get in the way. My advice... figure out how many kids you want, have them, and then one of you gets the snip snip. Until then, IUD...

PS. If you don't mind growing a mustache, they say testosterone patches work well for the libido.
 
There's only so much (uhh)"self love" that can take the place of your wife. If my wife is reading.... "yeah, that's how we get by, love ya... but thank god for Playboy et al"

:laugh:
 
I guess what I'm also saying is: is spontaneous, worry-free sex worth messing with your hormones and potentially gaining weight, having mood swings (pill), or having longer periods and potentially having an IUD get embedded in your uterus?


Yes:D
 
OP here--I truly can say that I haven't felt like having sex in months. No sex drive whatsoever.....

My hubby doesn't seem to mind, he never approaches me about it

Just because a guy doesn't approach you about it, doesn't mean he is okay with it. Can you think of a time when you were not okay with something, but you expected the other person to recognize the issue and approach you? What happened when they didn't pick up on your 'signals'? Did the problem magically go away, or did it become more irritating?

Just something to think about

<--a guy

-t
 
Actually, gyns will often tell you to have protected sex the first 2 cycles after going off the pill as there is an increased risk of miscarriage until things are back to normal (no, I can't cite the paper on that).

I'm pretty sure it is included in the insert of various BCPs (though probably not the miscarriage part). I know there is also a warning for using additional BC when changing BCPs.

Random knowledge!

The pharmacists would probably know this better.

-t
 
OP here--I truly can say that I haven't felt like having sex in months. No sex drive whatsoever, and yes, it is probalby related to my feelings that all of you seem to be so familair with. :)

My hubby doesn't seem to mind, he never approaches me about it, I really don't think it's a big deal to him, he's never been like most other guys when it comes (no pun intended :)) to a lot of things.

Is it unusual to have no sex drive for three months in a row? In general, I've never been a very sexual person, though I started having sex early (in high school). I love my husband dearly, but I can't really see "putting out" and pretending to be into it. The condoms are part of the issue though--too much trouble to deal with, easier not to have sex at all.

I'm too poor for therapy so that's out. :) Talking here is much more helpful!

I am guessing he's at the "she will say no anyway so why bother with it if I'm going to be rejected anyway" phase. You should really look into getting some help (if he is a resident he must have decent health insurance). Both of you would be happier for it.
 
Just for the record here, I LOVE my IUD. I got it placed nearly a year ago, and although it was a very painful ordeal (I'm not going to lie about that part), it's made all the difference in our sex life.

I was not about to barrage my system with hormones, and the condoms just weren't working out. Plus, it's truly the most economical form of birth control. The average cost is $400 (although I got mine for less at the Planned Parenthood due to their sliding scale system) and it lasts for 10 years. Can't beat that with a ...stick ;)
 
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