Does the Hypochondrisis Ever Go Away

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Reverend Mayhem

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Perhaps it isn't technically hypochondrisis but the whole "medical student syndrome" thing. I got through the first 8 months of school no problem but lately that anxiety has been getting to me. I swear, everything we talk about in every class is cancer. Everything is a tumor. Every problem you can have is caused by a tumor. Having cancer is more common than having a cold. Everyone has cancer, every problem is caused by cancer, the answer to every test question is "cancer". We all have tumors and we are all about to die.

What can cause blurry vision? Cancer! What can cause ringing in your ears? Cancer! What causes swollen lymph nodes? Cancer, of course. Think that is a pimple on your face? Wrong! Its a tumor! You say your tired because you were up late last night? Bull s*it, you have leukemia! But you say you feel perfectly fine? Yeah, that is how a lot of people feel, right before they get cancer!

I am so tired of hearing about tumors and I am so tired of thinking that could be the cause of any little problem i have. And I know I am not the only one in my class. Most of my friends have become nervous wrecks in the last few months. Do you eventually become numb to this? Will I eventually be able to have a headache for more than an hour without wondering if I have a tumor that size of a golf ball in my brain?

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got a lump on your testicle? cancer!


...wait
 
I don't know if i will be this bad once I start school but I do know that ever since I took Microbio in undergrad I have been much more conscious about washing my hands/watching out for "germs"
 
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Perhaps it isn't technically hypochondrisis but the whole "medical student syndrome" thing. I got through the first 8 months of school no problem but lately that anxiety has been getting to me. I swear, everything we talk about in every class is cancer. Everything is a tumor. Every problem you can have is caused by a tumor. Having cancer is more common than having a cold. Everyone has cancer, every problem is caused by cancer, the answer to every test question is "cancer". We all have tumors and we are all about to die.

What can cause blurry vision? Cancer! What can cause ringing in your ears? Cancer! What causes swollen lymph nodes? Cancer, of course. Think that is a pimple on your face? Wrong! Its a tumor! You say your tired because you were up late last night? Bull s*it, you have leukemia! But you say you feel perfectly fine? Yeah, that is how a lot of people feel, right before they get cancer!

I am so tired of hearing about tumors and I am so tired of thinking that could be the cause of any little problem i have. And I know I am not the only one in my class. Most of my friends have become nervous wrecks in the last few months. Do you eventually become numb to this? Will I eventually be able to have a headache for more than an hour without wondering if I have a tumor that size of a golf ball in my brain?

It does go away. I'll take this as an opportunity to interject why, and propose the purpose behind medical education.

Right now, you're in a classroom. You're reading a book, listening to lectures, reading slides. You're thinking "all of these symptoms sound like the ones IVE had, wtf?" The only exposure you have to these diseases, to these cancers, has been intellectual; the mental masturbation of memorizing details, a list of symptoms. This is, unfortunately, the standard for the basic science curriculum. This is what the Step 1 tests, this is what most medical schools evaluate. They want you only to recognize patterns.

As you get into the clinical years and start actually working on diagnosis in the real patient, you are going to get an idea of prevalence. You'll realize that common diseases are common, that common symptoms come from common diseases, and that the only really sick patients are those in the hospital. You'll get an even deeper understanding of this if you do a family medicine or primary care rotation, where 100 patients a day have "nothing wrong with them."

Then, as you flush out your training, you'll see that its more than just "weak muscles = dermatomyositis = cancer" and that you must look at the whole picture. You will learn who is sick and who is not sick. It won't be intellectual. It won't be numbers. It will be a visceral, innate response. You'll see someone say "im sore" and say "duh, you just moved a house" or "holy crap, you've lost 30 pounds, your uterus is the size of your leg, AND you're "sore"?" uh oh...

So right now you're learning patterns. This is when its the worst. Prevalenace will assuage some of those fears. Then learning how to put people in a clinical context will show you just how rare and infrequent "regular symptoms" lead to "catastrophic disease."

It does get better. A lot.
 
OP
relax, doctors don't get sick like normal people 🙂
 
OP, have you confirmed your cancer yet?
 
Glad to hear it. And it does fit with something that my psychopathology professor told us when I was an undergrad. Just knowing the symptoms for this disorder or that isn't very telling. You also need to look at how extreme the symptoms are. There is a big difference between someone that is a little down for a day or two and someone with major depressive disorder. And I am sure there is a big difference, in terms of presentation, between having a cough caused by seasonal allergies and having a cough caused by lung cancer. But it is not easy to picture the difference without seeing it first hand.

So what you are saying is, it isn't just the symptoms, it is the severity, the presentation, the context? It seems so obvious when someone spells it out for you.

Honestly, i think watching House screwed me up for life. It was always someone that starts off slightly nauseous and then 10 seconds later, they are on the floor with blood pouring out of ever orifice while their pancreas melts into a fine paste. Perhaps not the most accurate portrayal of human pathology but that is still the picture I have in my mind of how the world of medicine is. We are all ticking time bombs and the slightest symptoms is evidence that we are about to explode in the most disgusting/horrible ways imaginable. Maybe I need to work on getting some prospective.



It does go away. I'll take this as an opportunity to interject why, and propose the purpose behind medical education.

Right now, you're in a classroom. You're reading a book, listening to lectures, reading slides. You're thinking "all of these symptoms sound like the ones IVE had, wtf?" The only exposure you have to these diseases, to these cancers, has been intellectual; the mental masturbation of memorizing details, a list of symptoms. This is, unfortunately, the standard for the basic science curriculum. This is what the Step 1 tests, this is what most medical schools evaluate. They want you only to recognize patterns.

As you get into the clinical years and start actually working on diagnosis in the real patient, you are going to get an idea of prevalence. You'll realize that common diseases are common, that common symptoms come from common diseases, and that the only really sick patients are those in the hospital. You'll get an even deeper understanding of this if you do a family medicine or primary care rotation, where 100 patients a day have "nothing wrong with them."

Then, as you flush out your training, you'll see that its more than just "weak muscles = dermatomyositis = cancer" and that you must look at the whole picture. You will learn who is sick and who is not sick. It won't be intellectual. It won't be numbers. It will be a visceral, innate response. You'll see someone say "im sore" and say "duh, you just moved a house" or "holy crap, you've lost 30 pounds, your uterus is the size of your leg, AND you're "sore"?" uh oh...

So right now you're learning patterns. This is when its the worst. Prevalenace will assuage some of those fears. Then learning how to put people in a clinical context will show you just how rare and infrequent "regular symptoms" lead to "catastrophic disease."

It does get better. A lot.
 
don't worry, sometime in residency you will go from hypochondria to ignoring legitimate signs of illness in yourself because you don't want to miss any work for a doctor's visit. Semi-joking here.
 
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