dogs sleeping in bed with you

[cowgirl in MO]

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I have a 12 year old pekingese who has slept in bed with me every day for the last 12 years, but my new boyfriend says she moves around a lot and wakes him up so he doesn't want her sleeping in bed with us. I tried, unsuccessfully so far, to have her sleep on in a dog bed on the floor, and outside the bedroom with the door closed or with a baby gate up. If I try to lock her out of the room she whines and barks.

Does anyone have experience in teaching an old dog to not sleep on the bed? Or is it the case that after 12 years my dog is territorial and/or so comforted by sleeping in bed with me that she is going to refuse to sleep anywhere else? Thanks in advance for any tips and information....

 

[athane960]

years ago, when I met my current boyfriend it was more the question of training him to get used to my dog sleeping on the bed. He learned well and even bought a king bed to accomodate the family! (I have a labrador and then he adopted a labrador so there is usually at least 3 of us!)

Unless you are discussing training a dog for hiking in the mountain trails I am not an in home dog behavior expert. While well behaved, I have to admit my dogs are spoiled rotten but here is my 2 cents for what it is worth:

I don't think locking her out of the room is the answer, at least not right away, baby gate or not. It is actually probably increasing her anxiety. You are making her quit something she has done for 12 years cold turkey! Have you tried getting an elevated bed or something that is the same height as your bed, but just not attached, put it on your side of the bed. That way her getting up won't bother your bf and then you can gradually lower the height until she is okw ith sleeping on the floor, kinda like desensitizing.

 

[cowgirl in MO]

I don't think locking her out of the room is the answer, at least not right away, baby gate or not. It is actually probably increasing her anxiety. You are making her quit something she has done for 12 years cold turkey! Have you tried getting an elevated bed or something that is the same height as your bed, but just not attached, put it on your side of the bed. That way her getting up won't bother your bf and then you can gradually lower the height until she is okw ith sleeping on the floor, kinda like desensitizing.

Thanks so much. I was actually planning to get a little bed to keep next to my side of the bed and do as you suggested, only I hadn't thought about one with adjustable height. Good idea!

 

[athane960]

No problem!! Maybe someone in here with alot more experience with dog behavior training has a better way!

 

[Doggone DVM]

Really good advise athane960! That is exactly what we did with our two labs. We put an ottoman with a pet bed on it next to the bed and after a week, put it on the ground. Worked like a charm! Good luck cowgirl in MO!

 

[r00]

While I think that the adjustable bed option might work, and I am by no means a dog trainer, I will say that I saw an episode of "It's me or the dog" where the little dog wouldnt let the husband sleep in the bed and she made that dog quit cold turkey...

Yes the dog will whine and bark, etc... but doing anything other than ignoring it will do nothing but reinforce the new "bad" behavior - because any attention is exactly what it wants...

I vote for the baby gate, crate training, or whatever option you choose to go with cold turkey... It may seem cruel but I can bet that the results will come much quicker than a gradual approach... the bottom line is that your are in charge of your dog, not the other way around and the quicker it gets that message the faster your results will come.

 

[cowgirl in MO]

I vote for the baby gate, crate training, or whatever option you choose to go with cold turkey... It may seem cruel but I can bet that the results will come much quicker than a gradual approach... the bottom line is that your are in charge of your dog, not the other way around and the quicker it gets that message the faster your results will come.

I was wondering what Victoria would do in a situation like this one. The only thing is that what am I supposed to do when the dog barks and whines, because that also keeps us awake. Any suggestions for that?

 

[dgm]

I was wondering what Victoria would do in a situation like this one. The only thing is that what am I supposed to do when the dog barks and whines, because that also keeps us awake. Any suggestions for that?

I'd suggest putting the dog as far away from your room as possible, and using whatever combination of fans/music/white noise machines/ear plugs (etc) necessary to minimize the barking that you hear. You may just have to endure a few sleepless nights (it may be best to start this on a weekend), but if you don't cave, she should adjust after a few days. Kinda like when you get a puppy and it whines when left alone at first... Ignore the whining and the puppy eventually stops doing it.

 

[athane960]

I vote for the baby gate, crate training, or whatever option you choose to go with cold turkey

Perhaps this is the better option! Good luck!

 

[flyhi]

I'd suggest putting the dog as far away from your room as possible, and using whatever combination of fans/music/white noise machines/ear plugs (etc) necessary to minimize the barking that you hear. You may just have to endure a few sleepless nights (it may be best to start this on a weekend), but if you don't cave, she should adjust after a few days. Kinda like when you get a puppy and it whines when left alone at first... Ignore the whining and the puppy eventually stops doing it.

This is just hard for me to read. I can't imagine after allowing a dog to sleep in your bed for 12 years and then a boyfriend comes along and *poof* the dog is banished from what it has known and been comfortable with for a long, long time. I know everyone is different, but my boyfriend would be the one who would have to learn to adjust. Just like a puppy will get 'used to it' and stop whining, maybe a boyfriend will get tired enough from losing sleep, that he will start to sleep more soundly and get 'used to it'.

Not to get nosy or anything, but I always think of what if's. You say he is a new boyfriend. What if he someday is no longer your boyfriend? Will the dog be allowed back in the bed? Sorry, I'm really not trying to be judgmental at all, I just could never imagine kicking my dogs out of the bed (and banished to another room by themselves) after they have been there for what will end up being a majority of their full life for a guy.

Maybe this is why i am single

Edit: And, is he moving to vet school with you?

 

[Trilt]

Maybe this is why i am single

👍👍👍

You summed up my response to that better than I could have. Poor dog.

 

[ckgilabert]

LOL flyhi!

geez, what i would do is get a single bed, put it next to my bed...and have the dog sleep next to me and the boyfriend sleep on the single bed.


everyone who knows me knows that my dogs are #1. and to my boyfriend (of 9 yrs) my dogs are #1 to him too. 🙂


i agree with the last couple of people...keep the little doggie on the bed.

 

[dgm]

This is just hard for me to read. I can't imagine after allowing a dog to sleep in your bed for 12 years and then a boyfriend comes along and *poof* the dog is banished from what it has known and been comfortable with for a long, long time. I know everyone is different, but my boyfriend would be the one who would have to learn to adjust. Just like a puppy will get 'used to it' and stop whining, maybe a boyfriend will get tired enough from losing sleep, that he will start to sleep more soundly and get 'used to it'.

Not to get nosy or anything, but I always think of what if's. You say he is a new boyfriend. What if he someday is no longer your boyfriend? Will the dog be allowed back in the bed? Sorry, I'm really not trying to be judgmental at all, I just could never imagine kicking my dogs out of the bed (and banished to another room by themselves) after they have been there for what will end up being a majority of their full life for a guy.

Maybe this is why i am single

Edit: And, is he moving to vet school with you?

I was responding to the OP's question about how to handle the whining if she makes the dog "quit cold-turkey". If she's going to do that, she pretty much just has to suck it up and deal with the whining for a few nights. There's not really another option in the "cold turkey" scenario.

I understand your point of view, but if I started dating a guy and gave it a shot sleeping with his dog in the bed and I wasn't getting any sleep, and he wasn't willing to change the dog's habits for me, it would be over. He wouldn't even have time to speculate about how the dog's been around for twelve years and he can't be sure how long I'd last. We all love our dogs and they're like family, but I'm not putting the dog over another person that I care about.

 

[CatVet2Be]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the same thing! After 12 years I would not expect the dog to change something that's been allowed the entire time. I would instead expect the boyfriend to adapt. And this comes from someone who absolutely does not allow the dog on the bed at all but it's been that way from day 1. The cats on the other hand are know for stealing pillows and covers from me and my husband. 😳

 

[cowgirl in MO]

I understand your point of view, but if I started dating a guy and gave it a shot sleeping with his dog in the bed and I wasn't getting any sleep, and he wasn't willing to change the dog's habits for me, it would be over. He wouldn't even have time to speculate about how the dog's been around for twelve years and he can't be sure how long I'd last. We all love our dogs and they're like family, but I'm not putting the dog over another person that I care about.

You nailed it on the head. I love my dog dearly, but I'm not sacrificing a relationship with a man who is extremely good to me and makes me "cloud 9" happy because I would rather sleep with my dog.

Plus, my boyfriend has a dangerous job. He climbs electric poles for a living. If he doesn't get a good night's sleep then he risks his and others' lives. That's the reason we're trying to get my dog to adjust to sleeping next to the bed or on the floor.

As future veterinarians, I think we all should understand that while our pets are definitely family members, the human members of the family should come first.

I hope that doesn't come across as too harsh, but pretend I'm one of your future clients coming to you for advice about a problem. Instead of offering help, some of you might say that you completely disagree with what I want to do because it might upset the animal and tell me I shouldn't do it and then won't offer any suggestions. Think about from that aspect maybe? The way I see it, having the dog sleep on the floor isn't going to traumatize her, and then I can sleep in the same bed with the person I love, and he won't get killed by falling into a power line because he's fatigued! 🙂

 

[DVMorBust]

Is there any way to work on the moving part - what's waking him up - without kicking her off the bed? She's only allowed on there if she lays down and doesn't move? Or stays on your half (with you between the boyfriend and the dog)?

 

[jglovicz]

First of all, I am in no way, shape, or form a dog trainer. That said, when my dog (who lived at home with my mom) became really arthritic, she would cry to get up on the bed because she could no longer jump. This became an issue quickly because my dog was not one to stay put all night long. My mom bought her a dog bed (one of those oversized pillows) to put on the ground in the room so the dog could still sleep there. It didn't work, she still wanted up on the bed (no surprise). So my mom slept on the dog bed for a few nights to get rid of the "new and unused" feel and smell. It seemed to work. She told me that within a few nights the dog was happy on her doggie bed. I don't know if this would work for you?
Sorry about your situation...as much as I love all of my pets, they get to sleep all day while my boyfriend and I have to get up early and have things to do. If I were in the situation, I also would be looking for a way to kindly kick the dog out of bed 🙂. Good luck!

 

[1Vista1Grey]

poor dog

 

[twelvetigers]

So my mom slept on the dog bed for a few nights to get rid of the "new and unused" feel and smell.

Lol!

Either that was a big dog bed, or your mom was hella uncomfortable...

And it's a funny picture either way. 😉

 

[CatVet2Be]

As future veterinarians, I think we all should understand that while our pets are definitely family members, the human members of the family should come first.

I hope that doesn't come across as too harsh, but pretend I'm one of your future clients coming to you for advice about a problem.

If my house was on fire and I had to choose between the dog and a family member the dog would be SOL (well, depends on the family member...), so I'm not saying animal >> human in every situation but when you have an elderly animal that's been allowed to do xyz its entire life and suddenly it can't then I'm going to side with the dog. It doesn't understand why it can't do whta it's always been allowed to do and though it's not impossible to retrain it, my inclination would be not to. In this case the 12 year old dog would trump the new boyfriend.

But if you're a client and you're really upset and dead set on kicking Fido onto the floor then what other people have suggested seems appropriate. But since I'm not your vet and you're not my paying client I can ask: if things don't work out with the boyfriend does the dog get her spot back? Not trying to be snippy, just genuinely curious.

 

[buckeye4runner]

If it is just the motion.. not the noise or the fact that the dog is on the bed period, a different mattress might help.
Normal spring mattresses transfer a lot of motion, so if the boyfriend isn't used to sleeping with a dog, I can understand how this would interrupt his sleep. I don't know about everyone else.. but I'm a much more pleasant person when I get sleep and I'm not a fan of interrupting anyone's rest!
I have a memory foam mattress which doesn't transfer much motion at all. (And I have a 75lb lab that sleeps on the bed- quite different from your little pup!) While the name brand ones are uber expensive, they don't have to be. Mine's from Wal-Mart.com and was only a couple hundred bucks. I sleep really light, and rarely wake up because of the dog moving around.
Just my $.02

 

[twelvetigers]

We just got a king size Simmons Beautyrest with individually wrapped coils... not really a point to make... I'm just bragging. 😀😀

So far, though, it doesn't transfer much motion at all, especially when my six foot five 200 lb husband rolls over like he's a fish out of water... 🙄

 

[flyhi]

You nailed it on the head. I love my dog dearly, but I'm not sacrificing a relationship with a man who is extremely good to me and makes me "cloud 9" happy because I would rather sleep with my dog.

As future veterinarians, I think we all should understand that while our pets are definitely family members, the human members of the family should come first.

Ok, i'm not trying to start a fight here...well maybe i am 🙄 but, if i recall..... you were just getting out of a 6 year relationship in like March or April?

So, this 'human member of the family' is all of about 6-8 weeks in the making at the most?

Just saying...... 12years compared to 2 months max? I apologize if i've got this wrong, but by your previous posts that is what i recall.

Sorry, i don't have advice because i do completely disagree given the circumstances. You didn't answer the question of whether your boyfriend was moving to vet school with you or not, so i presume not? Will the dog be allowed back on your bed once you go to vet school? What if he comes to visit?

Ok, I'll go away now....

 

[Trilt]

The dog is a pekingese... can s/he really not fit on the bed with two humans? I know my dog slept with my parents on a queen bed, and he's a biiigggg black lab mutt. I just can't see such a small dog breed making enough motion to cause such problems. (That might be biased, though; I sleep like a rock and I like big dogs. )

Maybe try rehoming the dog to the very foot of the bed? If not, I think the elevated dog bed seems like a really intelligent idea. Maybe put a warm rice sock in it so the dog gets some "body" heat?

 

[meadow36]

Cowgirl, I totally agree with you. It is not "cruel" to make the dog sleep in a bed next to you. If your boyfriend is uncomfortable w/ the dog in the bed then that's ok! Not everyone sleeps well with animals next to them. Sometimes I have my JRT in bed with me and sometimes it's too hot and I send him off to his own bed. Sometimes he feels the same way about me and chooses his own bed. 🙂 For the first 3 years of his life he always slept in bed with me and then we made the change. I decided I was just getting too uncomfortable (he also kicks me in the back! Little stinker ...)

I wouldn't lock her out of the bedroom, she will feel like you are punishing her and putting her out of the family "pack". Let her sleep in the bedroom but in her own bed. Put the bed next to yours on the floor with some of her favorite toys / blanket and tell her to lay down there. You can even feed her some treats there, try to make it appealing. I'm assuming she can't jump up on your bed? If she does, tell her "no" and place her back in her own bed. If she can't, just ignore her. She will get tired and eventually lay in her own bed. Eventually she will be very happy with this option. It will only take a few days.

This is not animal abuse, people. Frankly I don't see who's business it is to ask Cowgirl personal questions about whether this guy is going to vet school with her and how long she's been seeing him. It is totally irrelevant and rude.

 

[flyhi]

Frankly I don't see who's business it is to ask Cowgirl personal questions about whether this guy is going to vet school with her and how long she's been seeing him. It is totally irrelevant and rude.

Since you are obviously addressing me, I will comment. It is not irrelevant at all. Rude? Perhaps.

She asked for advice, but not all of the information had been given. I think for those to give proper advice to her situation, they need to know the whole story in terms of how she is going to handle the situation going forward. The advice to give her if this is a permanent situation may be drastically different than the advice to give her if this is going to be a 3 month stint and then the dog is going to be allowed on the bed again, followed by the dog being kicked out of the bed again when the BF comes to visit. It's a little difficult to explain to a dog why the rules change every couple of weeks/months, not to mention stressful.

And, BTW, no one mentioned anything about abuse. It is more about establishing new ground rules for the dog and whether they are going to be adhered to or simply thrown out the window when the situation changes again.

Totally relevant, IMO.

 

[DVMorBust]

I think it's relevant, as well, but only because - if the dog's allowed on the bed when the boyfriend's not there, and not on the bed when he is there, it would be pretty easy for the pup to catch on that HE is the reason, and more problems could erupt. In that case, Cowgirl would need to focus on some preventative measures to keep that situation OK.

I guess my more pressing question would be - is the pup trained that 'bedtime equals be on bed', or is the pup invited up? I would probably put some effort into making sure the dog must be invited on ANY piece of furniture. That way the connection would be with 'invited/not invited' versus 'boyfriend here/not here'.

 

[sumstorm]

We also have a Simmons Beautyrest with the individual wrapped coils. Two years now, and my husband can get in and out of bed while I am sipping water from a glass and create no motion on my side of the bed.

That said, if the issue is the dogs movement, they sell (or you can easily build) a platform bed for the dog that would go on your side of the bed. Block access to the actual bed, make the platform bed extremly comfortable, and then reduce the block to the actual bed as the dog grows accustomed to her bed. If you want to buy them, I have seen advertisements in magazines like Dog Fancy. We made one out of a low, cheap, wooden night stand. We put steps on the far side of it (so the drawers could be used), put rails on 3 sides, with short railes on either side of the steps, and put a foam dog bed and a human (fresh from the bed) pillow on it. Works very well.

The issue with taking a dog out of a situation 'cold turkey' is the emotional/mental shock factor. You may desire that shock factor if the behavior is problematic (dog growling or guarding the bed) but that doesn't sound like the situation here (vs the Stillwater example.) Is she crying and whining because she is upset and anxious with teh change of venue...or because she is demanding? If it is the former, moving her across the house may cause less disruption in your sleep, but may increase her anxiety. Dogs living in human households have limited options on how to express their anxiety/upset and some will do things we find less appealing like regressing in housetraining, damaging possessions, and even damaging themselves. Some dogs are find with this. Some dogs DO NOT cry themselves out. I dealt with a household that did ignore the dog. Did round the clock video recordings. The dog cried solid every night for 4 nights. Night 5 it started vomitting. The stress of the previous nights, lack of rest, etc lead to just being ill. It did recover, that trainer was fired. We went for closer contact but off the bed, which solved the problem for everyone involved. I think part of the issue is that dogs are generally pack animals. When groups of dogs sleep together, they tend to sleep fairly close or even touching (there are always exceptions.)

As a trainer, I tend to prefer the solution that is best for all parties involved, including the dog. It doesn't have to be win for BF lose for dog, or win for dog, losve for BF.

As for my own pets, 2 out of 6 sleep on the bed. They are the oldest two and the only ones acquired before we married. 2 others sleep on the platform bed (after a few days we realized that more than 2 dogs meant they slept touching hubby, which he didn't care for). The other 2 (big dogs) have a futon they sleep on in the same bedroom. I grew up with dogs sleeping on my bed, and I have a hard time sleeping without pressure against my legs as a result. Hubby thought he cared at first, now it doens't phase him at all (the new bed mentioned above did help alot.)

 

[meadow36]

No Flyhi, I wasn't addressing just you, I was addressing the entire tone of the thread, with people saying things like "poor dog" as if Cowgirl was asking this dog to sleep outside in the snow or something. That was my problem.

I can understand you were looking to find out if this was a permanent arrangement or not, but I personally don't see how that matters. She can train the dog to sleep in it's own bed and it will be beneficial in the future with or without the boyfriend. What if she has to leave the dog with someone else while away and they won't let the dog in the bed? This way the dog has a "home base" so to speak, is comfortable in the doggie bed, and is a little more flexible.

 

[sumstorm]

What if she has to leave the dog with someone else while away and they won't let the dog in the bed? This way the dog has a "home base" so to speak, is comfortable in the doggie bed, and is a little more flexible.

I actually advocate teaching all dogs to rest comfortably in a crate. Between Katrina and Rita, I helped organize one of the few joint shelters that had humans in one area (a stadium) and pets in another (a horsebarn.) The biggest problem we encountered were dogs who had never learned how to rest in a crate. It was stressful to them, to their owners, and to the volunteers. If an owner experiences an emergency evacuation or other disaster (house fire, severe car accident, etc) there is a good chance the pet will be confined to a crate during some stage of that. It is in the best interest of all involved if the pet is accustomed to that and can see a crate as a personal sanctuary rather than a torture device. Not saying that dogs need to or should be crated all the time... but they should see a crate as a completly acceptable residence.

That was a complete aside. If your comfortable with out the dog in the bed, train the dog to sleep in a comfy place in the room with you and bf. If it comforts you to have the dog sleep with you, work with bf for solutions to make both of you more comfortable (sometimes different support structures under the bed can also ease movement.)

 

[ckgilabert]

i swear...this by far has been the most interesting thread on this site. LOL.

anyway, i think the issue is the dogs age. if the dog was even 2 yrs old...it wouldnt matter. but the dog is 12...and i feel bad saying this(and i wish every night that my dogs will live forever)....but it's not going to live THAT much longer. might as well leave it on the bed till it passes away.

 

[pyxystyx]

Just my $0.02...

I already had my dog (14lb. Doxie mix, so prolly about the size of your Pekingese) when my Fiancee' came around. I know it's a small dog, but I totally understand your BF's complaints about possibly not being able to sleep, as our little guy literally "pushed" my poor Fiancee' against the wall for quite a while. (And he's pushed me in bed before, too!)
That being said,... there was never any question about whether or not my dog would stay on the bed with us. My guy knew he had to just stick it out, and learn to live with him in some sort of "equalized" sleeping situation.
Now that he's gotten used to my Fiancee' (obviously, we've been living together for a few years now) there is almost no pushing, and everyone sleeps just fine. So,... maybe it's just a new thing that both parties have to learn to adapt to???

Also, one night my dog made me sooooo furious, that time-out just wasn't enough. I tried to banish him from the bed for a night. He went SO crazy with anxiety, after a couple hours it was clear that neither one of us was going to get any sleep. (It really was sad to see him so confused about it!) My point is... after 12 years, I think it would be really hard for a dog to cope with that.

I know it sounds kinda mean, but... I dunno if I could do that to my own dog, over any guy. Even my Fiancee'. Not that people come second, but I think the right guy would understand, and not make you do something you didn't want to.

 

[HeartSong]

While I would never kick a dog out of bed for that reason, it is a personal choice. However, I did have to banish a dog from the bed for her own safety. She's 14 years old and has arthritis. I couldn't stop her from jumping off the bed, so I had to stop her from being on the bed. But she's also a really easy going dog. I gave her a big cushy bed next to mine and she didn't care if she was on the bed or not. If you can hang your arm over the side of the bed and have your hand close to the dog, that sometimes helps. I don't agree with faster equals better, that's just goes along with the whole drive-thru mentality that our society has for everything now. I personally feel it's better to do it in a way that causes the least anxiety for everyone.

 

[Caninerepro]

I have to agree, boyfriends/girlfriends come and go, but our dogs stay with us forever. 🙂 If the BF cannot deal with it, tell him to sleep on the floor or whatever after you have had your fun with him. Seriously, we are vets to be, and our SOs need to understand that our pets/kids are a very significant part of our lives, and who we are. The humans in our lives are as well, but so are our pets. I am not trying to be one of those freakish whatevers, but yes if our human companions want to be a part of our lives, compromises need to be made both ways. Everyone has their own boundaries/priorities here, but dumping your dog for the boyfriend after 12 years, well...

That said, I myself have a queen sized bed for myself and my dogs. Were I to again include another human companion, perhaps a larger mattress might be in order. A king sized at least, or maybe a queen and a single placed together. Could your Peke learn to sleep beside you, but with you in the middle (bf on one side, dog on the other)? Does not that sound like the best of both worlds?

As for Flyhi, sorry but HRH Princess Katie gets the place on the pillows beside me; you, Mugsy and Harley can sort out your places after she is comfortable. That is what I myself have to do on a nightly basis anyhow, and Katie sees no reason to change her sleeping habits just now.

 

[Shanomong]

Funny to see this thread right now (well, not the drama part of it...🙄), because I just came out of the bedroom after sleeping on the floor for the past hour. We brought home our new dog tonight 😀😀, and we're trying to crate train her for our own sanity. She's been mostly outdoors for the entire 1 year and 3 days of her life, so you can imagine on the confinement of the crate is freaking her out (not to mention the 2 strange people who took her for her second car ride ever, to a busy city (shes' a small town gal) witha bunch of stairs (wtf are those anyway????)... she's petrified. I got her in there with a treat, and tried shutting hte lights and going to bed... she barked and whined and paced. So I sucked it up, hunkered down on the floor right next to the crate, slipped her a few treats, and spiked one with benadryl. Always a good option 🙂. She's sound asleep for now. Will try it again tomorrow. Eventually she'll get comfortable in the crate, and I can quit the bribery and drugs. but for now, it worked!

And for the record... excluding the new pup, one of my dogs sleeps in the bed (pomeranian) and one doesn't (the adorable little dummy pictured to your left), because he has issues with peeing on blankets. If tomorrow my 8 year old pom started peeing on blankets, he'd be out too. And I'd do it nicely... I'd keep the emotional shock level down, but I wouldn't think twice about it. Everyone involved has to be happy, and I don't think it comes down to choosing between the dog or the BF. Get the dog to where she's happy sleeping off the bed (as you're obviously trying to do), and nobody suffers. Just because she's used to it doesn't mean she can't be just as happy in a comfy bed on the floor beside you...

 

[sumstorm]

Here is a solution!

http://www.orvis.com/store/productc...3&group_id=13036&cat_id=13054&subcat_id=13055

 

[Ben and Me]

Sumstorm, thanks for the link...I was having a hard time picturing what everyone was talking about! That looks like a great solution, and it's pretty good-looking too.

 

[koerwk49]

I'm a little surprised that everyone can sleep with a little (or big for that fact) with causing inconvenience for themselves. Maybe only because I am a huge guy that i would worry about actually hurting me dog if I turned in my sleep, which i do. Also i try many different positions before i actually fall asleep.

I don't see why many people on this thread see this situation as some sort of travesty. Its not like a dog bed is a rock compared to a mattress. Pretty much what you have to do is make your dog realize that the dog bed is where he sleeps now. Take the bed with you to a couple of room so the dog is able to sleep on it for the little naps and the dog will realize where to go.

As for my dog, he preferred his bed to sleeping on my bed.

 

[sumstorm]

I think people are reacting to trying to change a pet's behavior in regards to where it sleeps after 12 years of approving of that behavior. Behavior changes aren't the easiest thing for most animals, including us humans (even when we opt for it as compared to someone else opting for it for us!)

The Orvis bed is $$$$ in my opinion, but it isn't hard to build something similar without much effort, a hammer, some wood, and a saw.

Interesting that you mention the rolling over issue. I sleep very still (again, had pets in bed since I could crawl) but hubby moves a lot (never had pets before our marriage.) I think it is all about what habits each person has formed!

 

[flyhi]

I think everyone here has provided some very useful suggestions. Thinking about it some more, my initial response was certainly based off of personal feelings and experiences. I do recognize that everyone's situation is different and their values may be different than mine.

I do agree that crate training can be invaluable. The advice to get a larger mattress and one that is of a memory foam type may seem to be an overly costly solution, but may very well be a viable one for all. I like the Orvis bed a lot as well - i didn't know they made these. One of my guys might buy on to it, the other would have no part as he requires skin contact.

To the OP: I hope you find a satisfactory solution for you, your pooch and your BF. Hopefully everyone will end up happy (and well rested).

Caninerepro - Not only am I overwhelmingly flattered, but I am convinced it could be a 'marriage made in heaven' as they say. For one, I am sure you would have the California King Ultra Memory Foam Mattress for the clan. Harley prefers my pillow/front side, whereas the Mugs 'Trouble' prefers the backside between the covers - either behind my knees, or right under my.... Let's also not for one moment think that they can't both completely charm your girl right off of that pillow. Harley is as handsome and charming as them come and the Mugs, is well....the Mugs. He is the class clown and what girl doesn't adore a guy that makes them laugh? Ole Princess may just give up her pillow to be next to one of the boys (and I don't mean you) 😍

 

[cowgirl in MO]

Let her sleep in the bedroom but in her own bed. Put the bed next to yours on the floor with some of her favorite toys / blanket and tell her to lay down there. You can even feed her some treats there, try to make it appealing. I'm assuming she can't jump up on your bed? If she does, tell her "no" and place her back in her own bed. If she can't, just ignore her. She will get tired and eventually lay in her own bed. Eventually she will be very happy with this option. It will only take a few days.

This is not animal abuse, people. Frankly I don't see who's business it is to ask Cowgirl personal questions about whether this guy is going to vet school with her and how long she's been seeing him. It is totally irrelevant and rude.

meadow - thank you very much!!! I tried putting her in her doggie bed next to the our bed last night, and she did whine a couple of times and want in bed with me, but finally she went to sleep. And this morning she was happy as could be when I took her for her morning walk. I'll keep using the doggie bed and hope she does get used to it in a few days. Thanks for your support!

Also, thanks to everyone who offered great suggestions on how I could teach my old dog a new habit. I just finished reading through the remainder of the posts, and you guys had a lot of good suggestions. I really like the platform bed idea.

And I understand the questions about whether this is a temporary or permanent thing that I'm trying to do; I agree that it is relevant. I probably will want my dog to be able to sleep with me when I have to sleep alone, because it comforts me. But when my boyfriend (yes, my new boyfriend after the one of 6 years) gives it a try and then nicely asks me to please try and teach the dog to sleep next to, but not on, the bed, then I want to try and do that because otherwise I'll end up sleeping alone with my dog instead of sleeping next to a sweet guy who treats me better than the one of six years ever did. I know some of you would still choose the dog over the guy, but I don't want to be a single crazy dog/cat lady, and I feel like that's what I would be doing if I choose to sleep with my dog over my boyfriend. That's just me, and again, I appreciate the helpful suggestions.

Oh, and if you know pekes then you know they can get incredibly crabby with old age, and mine is no different; she lunged at my bf last night in bed, which is finally why she ended up on the floor....

 

[flyhi]

Good Luck Cowgirl. It seems like you are well on your way to training her to be comfortable on either her bed on the floor or in the bed to keep you company when your BF is not with you. It sounds like you have a keeper and just need to convince the Princess Peke of it. 😀

 

[cozycleo]

Here is a solution!

http://www.orvis.com/store/productc...3&group_id=13036&cat_id=13054&subcat_id=13055

I think I just fell in love. My dog would go crazy for that!

I've shared a full size bed with a 60 lb dog and a boyfriend before (and he definitely wasn't 60 lbs). I get it. Although I feel for the dog too because she's had 12 years of sleeping in the same place.

I think the raised bed is a perfect solution. My husband and I have a big fluffy dog bed right next to our bed and she does pretty good there. I let her in the bed when he's not there. Otherwise she got it pretty quickly that she was supposed to sleep on the other bed. I wouldn't necessarily kick her out of the bedroom unless she absolutely refuses to sleep somewhere else in the room.

ETA: Just caught the update. I'm sure she'll be just fine. 🙂

 

[Caninerepro]

Caninerepro - Not only am I overwhelmingly flattered, but I am convinced it could be a 'marriage made in heaven' as they say. For one, I am sure you would have the California King Ultra Memory Foam Mattress for the clan. Harley prefers my pillow/front side, whereas the Mugs 'Trouble' prefers the backside between the covers - either behind my knees, or right under my.... Let's also not for one moment think that they can't both completely charm your girl right off of that pillow. Harley is as handsome and charming as them come and the Mugs, is well....the Mugs. He is the class clown and what girl doesn't adore a guy that makes them laugh? Ole Princess may just give up her pillow to be next to one of the boys (and I don't mean you) 😍

Lucky Mugs for his chosen place of recumbency right behind your lovely ***. We should all be so fortunate. 👍 As for the larger mattress, I think you may be a bit naive to think that ANY of them would allow us on even a CA king sized mattress, they do need their space after all and even with memory foam we would probably be shaking the bed too much for their comfort! Perhaps Katie might be convinced to share her pillow, but I doubt she would ever relinquish it for good, for anyboy, present company included.