Downhill slope

[Subscapularis90]

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Hi people,

My gpa is a 2.7 after two years of university. A combination of depression/family problems/feeling insecure about myself/ and just feeling worthless has really prevented me from doing the best I can. As I go through this semester, I have no motivation to do anything academic or social. I have a social life here, and I don't really feel like hanging out with people as much as I did in the past. My academics are better, but not a 4.0 this sem. I live alone and all I feel like doing is just going to class, coming back home, doing nothing, and going to the gym on occasion. I guess what bothers me is the fact that I have messed up my chances for getting into med school. That's all that I can think about - how much ive failed.
My advisor told me to go get a medical experience over the summer, and I got to work at a cancer hospital in Africa (specifically Kenya) and I loved every moment of it. I know that is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have the desire, but no will since im worried about how much ive effed up and how screwed I am.

If anyone has been where I am and managed to overcome this fear of failure, and find the motivation to succeed. Please let me know. Thanks.

 

[Ennervate]

Hi people,

My gpa is a 2.7 after two years of university. A combination of depression/family problems/feeling insecure about myself/ and just feeling worthless has really prevented me from doing the best I can. As I go through this semester, I have no motivation to do anything academic or social. I have a social life here, and I don't really feel like hanging out with people as much as I did in the past. My academics are better, but not a 4.0 this sem. I live alone and all I feel like doing is just going to class, coming back home, doing nothing, and going to the gym on occasion. I guess what bothers me is the fact that I have messed up my chances for getting into med school. That's all that I can think about - how much ive failed.
My advisor told me to go get a medical experience over the summer, and I got to work at a cancer hospital in Africa (specifically Kenya) and I loved every moment of it. I know that is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have the desire, but no will since im worried about how much ive effed up and how screwed I am.

If anyone has been where I am and managed to overcome this fear of failure, and find the motivation to succeed. Please let me know. Thanks.

I don't know you, but you're not worthless. No one is worthless. First of all, have you been to any sort of therapy for your depression issues? I have many family members who struggle with depression, and therapy is essential. Second of all, have you retaken any courses/do you have the opportunity to retake prerequisite courses? This might mean a couple more semesters at university, but this could make a world of a difference. I am a firm believer of "if there's a will, there's a way." Yes, your GPA is not competitive at this point. But if you can bring it up significantly, kill the MCAT, and have outstanding EC's...you never know.

It sounds like your major problem is overcoming your depression and finding motivation. Take care of your health first, and, if this is what you truly want, you will find the motivation within yourself.

There are many, many people who have self-doubt and feel defeated going through this process. You're not alone! Keep your head up and talk to someone.

 

[Endolas]

Hi people,

My gpa is a 2.7 after two years of university. A combination of depression/family problems/feeling insecure about myself/ and just feeling worthless has really prevented me from doing the best I can....

If you've got two years left, you can still bring that up to a 3.3 or so. Can you get over yourself and take the responsibility necessary to ace the rest of your classes? If not, I would take some time off and work. Come back to college when you're actually ready and motivated. Otherwise you're just wasting your time and wasting opportunities.

Seriously consider that. Sometimes you just need to live life a little, gain some perspective and some maturity. Nothing wrong with that, and you'll come back a more interesting applicant.

 

[Subscapularis90]

Thanks for the responses guys, I appreciate it.

Unfortunately its just not logistically and financially feasible for me to take time off from university right now. Im considering transferring out of my current university, the problem is that I have already finished two years and started my third, and not many uni's will accept me as a transfer. I go to a small college in northern NY and the only uni that im aware of that I am still eligible to apply too and is somewhat decent for my program is UBC in Vancouver. However its a different education system and from what I hear its kind of rigorous so im not too sure if its worth transferring. The plus side is that I get to spend an extra year so if I do really well, I could potentially apply with a 3.48 to med school.

Im not clinically depressed or anything. Anyone outside would see that I can talk to them/interact etc just fine. Inside I can't help but feel guilty and stupid for doing so poorly at a small college which isn't even that highly ranked while I know other people in my life who go to Ivy leagues and get A's.

Im not really sure how it all started, I guess my lack of social life in high school, and sudden increase of it in college distracted me from what was important. When I tried to get back on track it was already too late, and ive been beating myself up for it ever since. I just want to know how to stop this and just keep going. Thanks.

 

[Pons Asinorum]

Im not clinically depressed or anything.

How do you know that? Have you been diagnosed? OP, you need to not waste one more second worrying about medical school and you need to focus on setting up an appointment with a mental health professional. Your school makes this available to you; you need to take immediate advantage of this service. The things that you are describing need to be addressed clinically. Please please, go talk to a professional. Please don't brush off the feelings/thoughts you are having. Disease doesn't respond well to being ignored, whether it's diabetes or depression. An internet forum isn't what you need right now to feel better about yourself.

 

[Subscapularis90]

What I need to know is the answer to two questions:

1) If anyone out there has repeatedly failed, beat themselves up over it, was afraid of failing, but yet kept doing poorly, manage to stop that and turn it around, how did you do it?

2) Is it worth transferring from my current uni to UBC (they have a good bio program) and spend an extra year there? I could use that extra year as a GPA boost, but am worried about how different the two education systems are going to be and how rigorous it will be, if anyone has any input on this I would greatly appreciate it.