Dreading telling research mentor I'm switching fields

[Frogger27]

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Current M3, I have had a research mentor for the last 3 years who has helped me tremendously. They have been available to me almost 24/7 and have gone out of their way to find research opportunities and teach me how to be productive in research (running my own stats, etc). He/She will call/text me to help with my projects and has helped me build a very productive research application for their specialty.

However, I am beginning to have a change of heart and think I want to switch into another field (different surgical field). I am dreading telling my mentor that I want to switch fields because of all the time they have invested in helping me with research and building a relationship with me. I feel like I would be letting them down by switching fields...

And for what it's worth, I really do think I would be happy in this said field, but my gut is telling me to go with a different field.

I want to thank them for all the mentorship and time they have invested in me. Even though I am switching fields, the research productivity I had with them will inevitably be a huge part of my application and help me in my future career conduct research.

Anyone have a similar experience? How did you handle it? What is the best way to go about this?

 

[Chelsea FC]

Grow up and tell them. Its your life and if they are really as great as you claim they would rather you be happy than go along to please them.. File this in the things u dont need to make a post on the internet about.

 

[slowthai]

At the end of the day, I think every mentor just wants to see their students succeed. He/she clearly cares. They'll probably be a little disappointed that you're picking another field, but this person seems like the type to set you up with one of his/her colleagues in your new field of choice upon hearing your intent to switch. Personally, I would thank the PI and keep him/her in the loop so that they'll know that their investment didn't "go to waste", lol.

 

[libertyyne]

Rip the band-aid off and be professional.

 

[Frogger27]

Grow up and tell them. Its your life and if they are really as great as you claim they would rather you be happy than go along to please them.. File this in the things u dont need to make a post on the internet about.

Lmao, I was going to preface this by saying "please don't say just grow up", but for some reason did not think I had to. I'm not a f*cking b*tch and will tell them. It doesn't mean that its not fun feeling like you are dissapointing someone and am looking for advice from other people who have been in similar situations.

But thanks for your wonderful insights!

 

[Newyawk]

Lmao, I was going to preface this by saying "please don't say just grow up", but for some reason did not think I had to. I'm not a f*cking b*tch and will tell them. It doesn't mean that its not fun feeling like you are dissapointing someone and am looking for advice from other people who have been in similar situations.

But thanks for your wonderful insights!

Douches gon’ douche

 

[Chelsea FC]

I'm not a f*cking b*tch

Then stop acting like one *slaps back*

 

[Frogger27]

Then stop acting like one *slaps back*

I personally think being a smarta$$ troll on the internet falls under that category more than asking a question looking for advice from people in similar situations, but to each their own

 

[Chelsea FC]

I personally think being a smarta$$ troll on the internet falls under that category more than asking a question looking for advice from people in similar situations, but to each their own

Im not trolling grow up is good advice so much so that you knew someone was going to say it to you. You know the right answer.

 

[deleted915325]

This is always a heart-wrenching thing to do. Especially since mentor relationships that develop over such a long time have friendship like qualities as well. It’s almost like telling your best friend that you don’t want to be best friends anymore. I did this once. Prior to med school I did research in a completely disparate field from medicine. My mentor encouraged me to apply to a PhD program at the top university for said field. I did it really out of respect for him since I was already pretty set on med school (and partially just to see if I could get in). I ended up getting accepted and had to break the news to him. It was hard but I expressed my deep gratitude and in the end he was very happy for me and understood. He wrote me an amazing letter of rec for my amcas app and the rest is history.

 

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Im not trolling grow up is good advice so much so that you knew someone was going to say it to you. You know the right answer.

Easy there, elphaba

 

[Dr G Oogle]

I doubt they will have strong feelings about which field you want to go into. They chose to mentor you because they probably saw potential and it sounds like you delivered and this person has clearly had an impact on your life/career which is at heart what most mentors want. I’ve been on both sides of what you’re experiencing and it’s a lot worse for the mentee. In fact this person might even help you make a decision, just say what you said here, “I’m thinking about applying to field X instead of field Y, what do you think?”

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Moving forward, let's keep this thread professional and on topic.

 

[mistafab]

Discomfort facilitates growth.

It's okay to be uncomfortable - that is a normal response to new situations. I definitely recommend leaning in, as I am sure you will, as that's what life is all about.

 

[Frogger27]

I doubt they will have strong feelings about which field you want to go into. They chose to mentor you because they probably saw potential and it sounds like you delivered and this person has clearly had an impact on your life/career which is at heart what most mentors want. I’ve been on both sides of what you’re experiencing and it’s a lot worse for the mentee. In fact this person might even help you make a decision, just say what you said here, “I’m thinking about applying to field X instead of field Y, what do you think?”

Thanks for the response - you are definitely right that I am sure it is much harder for the mentee. I also like the idea of having a conversation vs just saying "I'm switching to field Y"... I dont think they are the type of person who would try to convince me otherwise and may also have some good insights

 

[Frogger27]

This is always a heart-wrenching thing to do. Especially since mentor relationships that develop over such a long time have friendship like qualities as well. It’s almost like telling your best friend that you don’t want to be best friends anymore. I did this once. Prior to med school I did research in a completely disparate field from medicine. My mentor encouraged me to apply to a PhD program at the top university for said field. I did it really out of respect for him since I was already pretty set on med school (and partially just to see if I could get in). I ended up getting accepted and had to break the news to him. It was hard but I expressed my deep gratitude and in the end he was very happy for me and understood. He wrote me an amazing letter of rec for my amcas app and the rest is history.

Thanks so much for your response, I really appreciate it. I'm glad to hear that it all worked out for you, that is very reassuring!

 

[username456789]

I switched from a surgical specialty to Derm, after doing research M1-3 in that surgical field with a strong mentor. I was nervous telling him but he was amazingly supportive and excited and said “most people end up applying to something else, it’s just important you find what you want.” He wrote an LOR and all my derm interviews talked about how notable it was that he wrote such an enthusiastic LOR coming from a different unrelated field.

 

[Frogger27]

I switched from a surgical specialty to Derm, after doing research M1-3 in that surgical field with a strong mentor. I was nervous telling him but he was amazingly supportive and excited and said “most people end up applying to something else, it’s just important you find what you want.” He wrote an LOR and all my derm interviews talked about how notable it was that he wrote such an enthusiastic LOR coming from a different unrelated field.

thanks for sharing your experience! I am hopeful for a similar situation

 

[MusicDOc124]

Mentors are great for a lot of things, and being in a different field doesn't mean they can't be a mentor of some sort to you still. But know this... you do not owe any mentors anything other than "thanks" for their guidance and them looking out for you. The only other thing one could argue they owe their mentor(s) is that should do the best you can with any opportunity they may have helped you get, but dont forget, you still did the work to get there. And we should all be doing the best we can with what we have anyway.