It's ridiculous, because you don't even know what's being said. You like to agree with those who reconfirm your decision to go to school, like the person who made the reference to being unemployed, but you like to slap in the face any decision contrary to what you want to hear. What I'm partly saying is that while you intend on doing great things like providing for your family, you may inadvertently do negative things that you may not have intended. If you're going to go back to school, you have to be aware of the potential negative things that may arise. You don't want your child's emotional health to suffer as a consequence. You should definitely go to school, but you have to make plans as to how it'd work. But first things first, you don't even know what these potential problems are, because you're more concerned about attacking my statements than understanding what's truly being said.
Given everything I was taught about child psych development, I prefer to not start a family while in school. I don't think I can attend to all his needs. I know you want to do good things. I've read the posts. But raising an emotionally and psychologically healthy child requires more than good intentions. I'll let you fill in the blanks yourself.
And in regards to the stripper comment, exaggerations never go well. Everyone on here's so literal.
i know perfectly well what's being said. and i am more than open to
educated comments, both positive and negative. take note: first, i titled this post "DS with a family... is it possible?" which opens the door for "Yes" answers and "No" answers. but that question also implies that the answer would come from someone who has first hand experience with going to DS with a family, not someone who is basing their comments off false statistics, pre-conceived notions and stereotypes.
Second, if you look up in this thread you will see other posts that were anti-family in DS, or stating the difficulty of it, and none of those were met with arguements or slaps. Why? because they were well thought out replies from people who have children and have the experiences that go along with it. In particular, note the post from dentalmama. we both said our opinions, in an open and differing manner. not like your attacking and rude comments, stemming from your own perceptions (based on no real facts) of what parenting is all about.
regarding your 80-90% "statistic", the people reading your numbers aren't the ones being too literal, you're the one being too liberal with your exaggeration. By saying 80-90% you're saying 'virtually all' daughters of dads that weren't around are strippers and prostitutes. That's just flat out not true. It is not a fact, yet you were presenting it as one. I'm sure many strippers and prostitutes had bad home lives, but that isn't to say that every bad home live leads to that kind of work. Also, you were implying, or outright stating, that parents in school, or away from the house all day, is a bad home life.
Do you really think that every parent immediately becomes a non-functioning part of society? You've never heard of a SuperMom or Dad? do you think that none of your dental professors will have families while teaching class and grading your exams and holding office hours and replying to emails and advising on clinical procedures? Do you think that every single person who works 40+ hours a week has a nanny at home taking care of their child? CEOs down to salespeople, dentists down to hygenists... just about every person with a family has a job. this isn't the 1950s. We don't live in single-income households anymore. We live in a world where both parents work and children are in daycare. In your insituation that every child with issues has parents outside of the home, you have conveniently sidestepped that portion of this discussion.
You have also negleted to think about all the time people without kids spend doing extraneous activities. You feel like sleeping in till noon on Sunday then playing golf and taking a nap and maybe reading some text book for an hour or two? You want to go out for happy hour on a random tuesday, which leads into going out to dinner, which leads into another bar, which leads into you doing your homework at 10 pm with more than a slight buzz? You feel like spending Friday night out on a date with Saturday night home on the couch watching movies? That's the time we spend with our families. And we love every second of it. You would never for a moment believe that someone would go into Dental School and give up all free time, or all drinking time, or all tv watching time, or all sex/dating/etc time, so what makes you think that people with familes don't have time for that? Instead of going out till 10 then doing homework, we go straight home, have dinner with the kids, put them to bed and get started on homework at 8. Instead of sleeping till noon, we wake up at 7 and have breakfast and get fresh air and study while the kids take a nap on a sunny sunday. We might actually spend more time studying than people without kids because we manage our time better.
Clearly I have thought of all sides of this. I have plans. No, they don't include time for drinkin' but I prefer it that way. My planning is demonstrated by the fact that I started this thread in the first place (with the intent of getting advice from people who have already made these plans), and is also demonstrated by my numerous posts detailing my thought process and the pros and cons of the situation. Plus you have no idea what plans are occuring and being discussed outside of SDN, in the real world. You're the one that doesn't know what's being said: a) because you have zero experience with having a family and juggling and b) you're not actually reading any of these posts that are written by parents who are currently doing it. You're filling in the blanks for us, without any background knowledge.
(But do we let dental dads in too???)
