Dumb/entertaining questions in lecture

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gsquared

gsquared

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Not sure if somebody has done anything similar to this in the the pre-allo forum, so here goes.

Please post up entertaining questions/quotes from lectures, peer presentations, etc. - I'm sure we all have a few good ones from previous classes:

Here are a few to get you started:

Just recently in Organic Chem 1 (after a week of going over SN1/SN2 rxns): "So, wait- I don't get it. Why wouldn't the H+ just attack that positive charge on that carbon? Isn't H+ a really good nucleophile?"

ten minutes later...

"So why do we need to learn about all this SN1/SN2 stuff? It doesn't really seem like we will ever need to use it."


Social Psych:
Professor- Recent studies have shown that males masturbate approximately twice as often as women, usually about 1-2 times a day, which some people think may be an indication of different levels of sexual arousal in the sexes.
(Female) student- So was this an anonymous survey? Because I know that sometimes...oh, wait (blushing)...never mind...
 
This isn't really entertaining but it happened in a 400 level biology course (I'd like to stress the 400 in that...like after you have taken molecular/cell etc...)

"Wait so....what is PCR?"

I literally wanted to stab myself...and the worst part is the teacher spent 5 minutes explaining how primers anneal and the whole process.
 
Nothing really specific here, but there's this one guy in my micro class that will ask questions on everything about the subject. He'll ask theoretical questions and stuff he's heard from outside sources that have nothing to do with the course. Now, this is probably a good way to suck up to the prof, but man, he could ask that stuff during office hours and not spend 10 min of lecture time.
 
Physics 2 Lab

Me: Dr. M what type of accent do you have?

Dr. M: A Tunisian one

My Partner: what kind of accent is that?

Me: The kind of person for Tunisia has

Dr. M: You know something about Tunisia?

Me: I go on to tell him about the culture, exact location, etc- he was impressed... I just happen to have an Africa obsession.
 
Two in cell bio -

One, this kid always has to argue with the teacher. The teacher will say something and his hand instantly shoots and he says "But isn't......" or "I just don't see the importance" etc...

Second, we were talking about porforin rings with iron, and how if they break, that causes the yellow color in urine. This girl asks, "Oh! So that's what happens when you take vitamins and your pee turns like red, blue, and green and stuff!"
 
Now I hate my biochemistry class - its awful - and this one girl just puts my distain over the edge. Her piercing "Professor?" makes your skin crawl. Anyway the best one so far was recently. "Professor? Could you just stop talking and write on the board?"

What?!?! Did you just tell him to stop talking? Not that I don't think that constantly, but the reaction of the class was hilarious. The old, senile professor then took about 3 minutes to answer "No" and then moved on.
 
Artimacia said:
Two in cell bio -

One, this kid always has to argue with the teacher. The teacher will say something and his hand instantly shoots and he says "But isn't......" or "I just don't see the importance" etc...
Click to expand...

I hate these.
 
efitzpat said:
Now I hate my biochemistry class - its awful - and this one girl just puts my distain over the edge. Her piercing "Professor?" makes your skin crawl. Anyway the best one so far was recently. "Professor? Could you just stop talking and write on the board?"

What?!?! Did you just tell him to stop talking? Not that I don't think that constantly, but the reaction of the class was hilarious. The old, senile professor then took about 3 minutes to answer "No" and then moved on.
Click to expand...

Haha! This reminds me of girl in my orgo class. I'm pretty certain she flirts with our teacher (he's about 26) and she's always getting him stuff from starbucks even though he was only joking about people getting him stuff. She has this really high pitch voice and constantly says "Teacher!!!" all the time. (Not to mention her weird high pitch sneeze). Anyway, the other day I about broke out laughing when she was in her lab group. She kept complaining to them, calling them losers, yelling at them saying "I don't like you guys, you guys are losers...I want to join another group" then spots another group "I'm going to join them, bye!" I'm thinking what a b*tch. Should I mention everyone picked their own group members?
 
this isn't really during lecture, but after class...

kid: Dr. G, what classes are you teaching next quarter?

Dr. G: Human Repro and Sexuality

kid: oh, neat... is there a lab for that class?
 
One day in my "Calculus for Biology and Medicine" class, the teacher, a women in her forties, was writing down a complex trigonometry proof. She began writing sec x, but for some reason, forgot the c and instead wrote sex. As she kept writing the proof, a couple students started snickering

Teacher: What? What'd I do? Stop Laughing!

Me: Uhhhhh, you meant sec x, right?

Teacher: Where? I don't see... Oh my goodness! SEX! I've NEVER done that before! I mean... I've never made this mistake before, I mean... no wait! I meant, I've never written that before. Of course I've had sex before, I am married! I mean... oh forget it...

Haha, we burst out laughing as she continued to get more and more flustered! :laugh:
 
Recently in a nutrition class while we were doing an experiment with BMI, a classmate of mine raised her hand and said that her's wasn't accurate because she was african american and wanted the equation for "her people" (her words, not mine), because there were bigger boned and had bigger hips, thus needing a different BMI calculation...

I couldn't contain my amusement lol. I was tempted to raise my hand and ask if there was a different calculation for midgets, too.
 
thedoctor8706 said:
One day in my "Calculus for Biology and Medicine" class, the teacher, a women in her forties, was writing down a complex trigonometry proof. She began writing sec x, but for some reason, forgot the c and instead wrote sex. As she kept writing the proof, a couple students started snickering

Teacher: What? What'd I do? Stop Laughing!

Me: Uhhhhh, you meant sec x, right?

Teacher: Where? I don't see... Oh my goodness! SEX! I've NEVER done that before! I mean... I've never made this mistake before, I mean... no wait! I meant, I've never written that before. Of course I've had sex before, I am married! I mean... oh forget it...

Haha, we burst out laughing as she continued to get more and more flustered! :laugh:
Click to expand...

:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
Not really a question, but a guy kept on asking for details on an upcoming exam, even though the professor had already written the sections that were going to be covered on the chalkboard. So, after class, the guy keeps bothering the professor until finally all I hear is the guy asking: "Are you mad at me?", and the professor saying: "Yeah, I am mad. Now leave me alone, I have to be someplace now"
 
These gems were from my Gen Bio II class many semesters ago. We had these two guys that were absolutely nuts. The one would sit in the front row, get up during class and walk right up to the board past the professor, make moaning sounds during exams, and get up five minutes early to stare at the brick wall until class was over. I kid you not. He would raise his hand and ask questions that were utterly irrelevant and barely understandable. The professor began ignoring him.
The second guy was this really big indian kid who spoke only fragmented english at the time, would come in late every day wearing the same outfit with a mammoth rollerbag, and routinely dropped his laptop on the floor.

1)
Professor: So here's an example of an infection of the tongue caused by a piercing.

Brick staring guy: Do they cause erectile dysfunction?

Professor: Are you referring to genital piercings?

BSG: No, tongue piercings.

Professor: Uh... no.

2)
Professor: And that concludes our discussion of multicellular Eukaryotes. Any questions?

Indian guy: Does that mean that humans are actually made up of millions of tiny little souls?

Professor: Cells you mean?

IG: No, souls.

Professor: That questions is probably better suited for a philosophy course.

3)
Professor: And this is the equation that is used to represent the rate of diffusion from the center of a cell outward.

IG: Does diffusion occur in square cells?

Professor: ....Yes.

IG: What about triangles?

Professor: Let's talk about that after class.
 
Professor to student on cell phone in chem: "so you think that I'm disturbing you?"
student: "yah, kinda... sorta..."
 
mmmcdowe said:
These gems were from my Gen Bio II class many semesters ago. We had these two guys that were absolutely nuts. The one would sit in the front row, get up during class and walk right up to the board past the professor, make moaning sounds during exams, and get up five minutes early to stare at the brick wall until class was over. I kid you not. He would raise his hand and ask questions that were utterly irrelevant and barely understandable. The professor began ignoring him.
The second guy was this really big indian kid who spoke only fragmented english at the time, would come in late every day wearing the same outfit with a mammoth rollerbag, and routinely dropped his laptop on the floor.

1)
Professor: So here's an example of an infection of the tongue caused by a piercing.

Brick staring guy: Do they cause erectile dysfunction?

Professor: Are you referring to genital piercings?

BSG: No, tongue piercings.

Professor: Uh... no.

2)
Professor: And that concludes our discussion of multicellular Eukaryotes. Any questions?

Indian guy: Does that mean that humans are actually made up of millions of tiny little souls?

Professor: Cells you mean?

IG: No, souls.

Professor: That questions is probably better suited for a philosophy course.

3)
Professor: And this is the equation that is used to represent the rate of diffusion from the center of a cell outward.

IG: Does diffusion occur in square cells?

Professor: ....Yes.

IG: What about triangles?

Professor: Let's talk about that after class.
Click to expand...

Number 2 is my favorite.
 
Kid in gen chem 2:

"Can you drink DI water?"



😱
 
in bio 101 when learning how the endocrine system regulates the menstrual cycle:

Prof: so on this graph you can see how over the 28 days the fluctuating hormones affect what is occurring in the female reproductive organs.

Freshman Girl: Wait...so where does the moon come in?

prof: (silent for a minute...) the moon??

Freshman Girl: yea, I mean both cycles are 28 days that can't just be a coincidence! nothing in evolution is coincidence!!!

prof (silent for a minute...or two): why don't you see me after class.
 
A) UVMSubmitted by Tim Professor is talking about hard water (water that has a high mineral content)

Princess: Is that like ice?

B) Concordia UniversitySubmitted by Steph Professor: The French sent 15,000 troops to Ireland to assist the Rebels, but they were forced to turn around because of a massive thunderstorm that prevented them from landing.

The Brilliance: Do you mean a metaphorical storm?

Professor: ...No.
C) MizzouSubmitted by Chris We were watching a movie about a bulimic girl. After one binge, she shoves her hand down her throat and the screen fades to black. When we next see her, she's unconscious with blood around her mouth.

Ms. Einstein: Oh my god! Did she EAT her hand?
D) UW-PlattevilleSubmitted by Peter Professor: Does anybody know what permafrost is?
Genius: Isn't that when the ice becomes frozen?
E) Minneapolis Community & Technical CollegeSubmitted by Chris When discussing species...

Professor: Two organisms are members of the same species if they are capable of reproducing and creating fertile offspring.
Prodigy: So if a woman can't have babies does that mean she's not part of the species?
Click to expand...

From the college humor page
 
A blonde in G Chem:

We are learning Lewis strucutres.

Blonde: So do you want us to use xx's or dots to show our electrons on the tests.

Prof: hmm....(after much thought). I will leave that up to you.
 
mets1986 said:
in bio 101 when learning how the endocrine system regulates the menstrual cycle:

Prof: so on this graph you can see how over the 28 days the fluctuating hormones affect what is occurring in the female reproductive organs.

Freshman Girl: Wait...so where does the moon come in?

prof: (silent for a minute...) the moon??

Freshman Girl: yea, I mean both cycles are 28 days that can't just be a coincidence! nothing in evolution is coincidence!!!

prof (silent for a minute...or two): why don't you see me after class.
Click to expand...

It's funny you mention this. I read a book last summer (Still Live With Woodpecker), and the leading lady of the story tries something called "lunarception." The logic is that women can coordinate their menstrual cycles with the cycle of the moon, so they'll know exactly when they are ovulating. This way they don't have to take birth control, use diaphragms, etc.--instead they are totally attune to what's occurring in their own body via the moon. So, it's really not that bizarre of a question!
 
thedoctor8706 said:
One day in my "Calculus for Biology and Medicine" class, the teacher, a women in her forties, was writing down a complex trigonometry proof. She began writing sec x, but for some reason, forgot the c and instead wrote sex. As she kept writing the proof, a couple students started snickering

Teacher: What? What'd I do? Stop Laughing!

Me: Uhhhhh, you meant sec x, right?

Teacher: Where? I don't see... Oh my goodness! SEX! I've NEVER done that before! I mean... I've never made this mistake before, I mean... no wait! I meant, I've never written that before. Of course I've had sex before, I am married! I mean... oh forget it...

Haha, we burst out laughing as she continued to get more and more flustered! :laugh:
Click to expand...

🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
Not exactly the same, but one of our medical school professors asked a question about a pulmonary-related mechanism during lecture. Someone held up their hand and responded. Half-way through the student's response the professor interrupts the guy with, "You had better stop before it gets any worse."

It was like watching House in person. Brutal. I felt so badly for the guy, but at the same time it was hilarious.
 
There was this girl in college microbiology who drove me up the wall. It was a medium sized class, about ~75 or so people, full of premeds and it was very obvious she was trying to connect with the professor, probably for recommendation. She had this routine she'd do like, twice a day, same way everytime.

The prof would finish explaining some topic, then she'd hold up her hand and when called on, always start the same way "Okay, wait, hold on, I have a question..." in a nasally voice. Seriously, ANY time she asked a "question" she would start with the same "Okay, wait, hold on, I have a question" same tempo, same inflection, same everything.

And I put "question" in quotes because her "questions" were her just repeating what the teacher just said back at her. And when the teacher confirmed, that yes, she had it right she'd end, again, with "Oh, ok. Just wanted to make sure." Same phrasing, same pace, everytime.

So the professor would finish explaining that, for example, the Tb bacterium has a waxy coating that makes it impossible to gram stain, so a special "acid fast" stain is used. So then this girl would go.

"Okay, wait, hold on, I have a question. So what you're saying is that Tuberculosis can't be gram stained because it has a waxy coating, and so you have to use an acid fast stain?"

"...yes, that is correct."

"Oh, ok. Just wanted to make sure."

I don't think she realized how bizarre and fake the whole thing came off. And the phrasing she used (wait, hold on, like professor was say something bizzare) came off as very aloof and dispespectful
 
I'm sure I've had much funnier things happen, and some of them are probably the "you had to be there" type of thing, but here goes:

Organic Chem: So the chem building was under construction and there was quite a lot of noise going on, banging and such. So the professor is teaching, and theres all this banging, and he gets the idea that its coming from his microphone and takes it off, saying "this stupid thing..." So then everyone starts snickering and a couple people shout out to him that it wasnt him and he just looks up (mind you he is this little old man in glasses and sweater-vests) and says in this nasaly voice, "Oh...Its not??" And then the whole class proceeded to laugh for like 5 mins.

Euk. cell bio: professor is talking about naked something (i dont remember exactly what), and a student shouts out "NAKED!" The professor just kinda stops for a minute and just says, yes, they do it too... Just a reminder that we never grow up... lol

Professor is going on some big long tangent, and when she is finished, some student asks, "Can you repeat what you just said" (it was long and convoluted) and she just says "No." Everyone expected it to be a joke but it wasnt.

And Finally, we have "clicker" questions in class, and so the professor gets done explaining the answer, even CIRCLES it on the slide, and the girl behind me goes... "wait... whats the answer??" Same person, earlier after the professor had explained a problem goes, "I dont get how that has anything to do with the problem..."

Sorry, that was long, and you probably wont find it funny, but I do, lol :laugh:
 
My organic professor was holding an exam review session after class. It was around 6:00pm. This woman brought her baby to the review session. About an hour into it, the baby starts crying. The professor looks up and says "Got started early didn't we".

In my biochemistry class last year, my prof was going on and on about supercoiling. He thought no one was getting it so he says
"Its kinda like Susan has three oranges and Betty has four apples. You know and they switch them around."
pause
"Now that I've said it I don't really see what that has to do with anything"
The entire class laugh for several minutes

Physical Chemistry class.
Prof was going on and on about how to solve some problem. A lot of people weren't getting it. So he puts up this really hard problem, and says whoever can give him the answer in the next minute gets extra credit. Time passes and just as he's erasing the problem this guy raises his hand and says
"punch it".
 
I was in a 400 level biochemistry class with around 60 people (the class started out with about 100 btw.) we were in a semi-large lecture hall that was very dark and very steep.

We were learning about dam-Methylase. and the professor was talking about it. Then we start hearing this

"*pshhtt*, hahaha, *Snort*, HAHAHA..." that keeps growing louder and louder until the professor cannot ignore it.

He finally looks around the room and asks if he has made a mistake or if there is something funny that he is doing.

The person laughing said, and I quote,
"you said the word damn"

it was the dumbest ****ing waste of time I had ever heard of, but everyone including the prof was cracking up due to the pathetic nature of the person.
 
PeepshowJohnny said:
There was this girl in college microbiology who drove me up the wall. It was a medium sized class, about ~75 or so people, full of premeds and it was very obvious she was trying to connect with the professor, probably for recommendation. She had this routine she'd do like, twice a day, same way everytime.

The prof would finish explaining some topic, then she'd hold up her hand and when called on, always start the same way "Okay, wait, hold on, I have a question..." in a nasally voice. Seriously, ANY time she asked a "question" she would start with the same "Okay, wait, hold on, I have a question" same tempo, same inflection, same everything.

And I put "question" in quotes because her "questions" were her just repeating what the teacher just said back at her. And when the teacher confirmed, that yes, she had it right she'd end, again, with "Oh, ok. Just wanted to make sure." Same phrasing, same pace, everytime.

So the professor would finish explaining that, for example, the Tb bacterium has a waxy coating that makes it impossible to gram stain, so a special "acid fast" stain is used. So then this girl would go.

"Okay, wait, hold on, I have a question. So what you're saying is that Tuberculosis can't be gram stained because it has a waxy coating, and so you have to use an acid fast stain?"

"...yes, that is correct."

"Oh, ok. Just wanted to make sure."

I don't think she realized how bizarre and fake the whole thing came off. And the phrasing she used (wait, hold on, like professor was say something bizzare) came off as very aloof and dispespectful
Click to expand...

I had one of these who I unfortunately was stuck with for about 5 or 6 classes my senior year.

:bang:
 
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