They really ought to stick warning labels on those things.
You're so lucky to still have me perusing this forum, because I just happen to be on the cutting edge of an important and breaking news events related to issues such as this. Hot off my medical RSS feed:
Due to growing public health and safety concerns, the FDA has issued a
BLACK BOX WARNING about rare side effects due to the Mind-Of-Its-Own Shampoo product, which could include death, dismemberment, and/or financial bankruptcy.
"Warning: this convenient personal hygiene product could accidentally end up in your rectum if you do not use the utmost of caution. Before deciding to 'slip and fall,' draw your shades, or Internet browse when in close proximity to this potentially dangerous product, please check your health savings account to make sure you can cover a $2,000 ER to pay for attempts by the medical student, then intern, then resident, GI fellow, ER attending, and surgical attending to birth this fancily shaped bottle from your rectal canal. Also, before using this product, please google-search 'colostomy bag,' as over aggressive 'falling' on or around our product could result in your acquiring such a convenient, yet high-maintenance ostomy device. Also, please be aware that there have been case reports (approximately 5-10 million, we've lost count) of this product growing appendages and crawling into the nether-regions of innocent product users who were not aware of this product's ability to enter ones rectal canal in a manner completely out of the product users control. If used properly, however, it may wash your hair quite nicely. Thank you for your understanding.
Sincerely,
Mind-Of-Its-Own Shampoo, Customer Service Department 
P.S. Please do not miss the opportunity to write "#Mind-Of-Its-Own Shampoo" on your hospital Press-Ganey survey and receive one 33% larger bottle for free!"
