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ER Things To Ponder

Discussion in 'Emergency Medicine' started by docB, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. docB

    docB Chronically painful Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    So one of the things that I love about EM is that I get to ask questions like this: Can you be in the military if you are a hermaphrodite?

    I think this guy is totally FOS but his story is that he's a disabled vet (says he was shot in Grenada) although he has no scars where he says he was injured. Also claims to be a hermaphrodite. Since he was just drug seeking I didn't check. But I am curious.
     
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  3. Tiger26

    Tiger26 Senior Member Physician 10+ Year Member

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    They won't even let you be in if you have asthma. W/that said as long as you have a recognizable pulse and you're not gay, I've heard a lot of stuff is waiverable right now.
     
  4. emedpa

    emedpa GlobalDoc 10+ Year Member

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    Taking an Away team....
    yup, the army will even waive certain felonies and drug convictions.....
    and the recruiters are lying their butts off....buddy of mine(pa) just joined.....they paid off all his undergrad and pa school loans( >100k) + a 30k sign on bonus for 6 yrs active reserve duty. the recruiter assured him that the chance of an overseas deployment was "remote". he has a family and 2 kids under 3. all his collaegues tried to talk him out of it.
    he's in afghanistan now.......
     
  5. Pose

    Pose Senior Member 10+ Year Member

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    He knew the risk.

    And he has no debt. Good investment, actually.
     
  6. GeneralVeers

    GeneralVeers Globus Hystericus Physician 10+ Year Member

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    "Yes, I'd like to sign up for the army please! I want you to pay off all my loans, give me training/education, free food, clothing, and meals, but I don't want to go overseas and fight."
     
  7. emedpa

    emedpa GlobalDoc 10+ Year Member

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    Taking an Away team....
    I know....you can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat.....
     
  8. docB

    docB Chronically painful Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
     
  9. emedpa

    emedpa GlobalDoc 10+ Year Member

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    Taking an Away team....
    exactly......
    I worked standby as a medic for some of their concerts....needless to say I didn't get to watch much music....we intubated folks there.......
     
  10. WilcoWorld

    WilcoWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member

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    nice... where's that old SDN'er Syd Barret when you need him?
     
  11. docB

    docB Chronically painful Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    Just for the sake of credit where credit is due emdpa made the original Wall reference. Kudos.

    You just gotta love the EM forum. I ask a simple question about hermaphrodites in the military and we wind up talking about Pink Floyd.
     
  12. danielmd06

    danielmd06 Neurosomnologist Physician 7+ Year Member

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    Agreed.
     
  13. EM_Rebuilder

    EM_Rebuilder Member Physician 10+ Year Member

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  14. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US 10+ Year Member

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    insert
     
  15. docB

    docB Chronically painful Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    So I've talked to all the military people I know and they all agree that a hermaphrodite wouldn't have been in the military, especially not during the Reagan administration. At leat this guy had chosen a war that fit with his age. I had one guy going on and on about "Nam." I pointed out that his birthday was in 1959 so he'd have been 15 when "Nam" ended. Of course that didn't shut him up. He started up about having worked for the CIA in Cambodia after the end of the war. I asked him what the acronym CIA stands for and he didn't know.
     
  16. Apollyon

    Apollyon Screw the GST Physician Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    SCREW IT!
    Actually not an acronym (unless there are people that pronounce it "see-ya", or some other way), but the abbreviation might be "Catch It in the Ass"?
     
  17. edinOH

    edinOH Can I get a work excuse? 7+ Year Member

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    Just another brick, man. Just another brick...
     
  18. docB

    docB Chronically painful Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    Agreed. Every scumbag drug seeker is just another brick.
     
  19. Jeff698

    Jeff698 EM/EMS nerd 15+ Year Member

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    What a great analogy for EM life.

    Pt: hey doc, i be hurtin' real bad. The medicine that work is that one that starts with a D

    Me: Ah, I see you're gonna help build the wall.

    Take care,
    Jeff
     
  20. Jeff698

    Jeff698 EM/EMS nerd 15+ Year Member

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    On further review, this clearly beats out 'snakes on a plane' as the perfect phrase for those situations you clearly aren't getting out of with your soul intact (like, say, most ED shifts).

    I wonder how long it'll take to make it into the urban dictionary.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snakes+on+a+plane

    Take care,
    Jeff
     
  21. docB

    docB Chronically painful Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

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    Or, if you're more into The Doors: "No one here gets out alive."
     
  22. Jeff698

    Jeff698 EM/EMS nerd 15+ Year Member

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    The day divides the night; the night divides the day
    Break on through, to the other side.

    Yep, I'm a big Doors fan.

    I'm still gonna be mumbling "you're just another brick, man, just another brick" when leaving the room with the troll in it, though.

    Not that I would ever make such a judgemental comment, even to myself, about one of my patients, of course. Nor, I'm sure, would any of my SDN colleagues.

    Brick, just another brick....

    Take care,
    Jeff
     
  23. Orthonut

    Orthonut Garryowen 5+ Year Member

    Oh no, you can still join w/hx of asthma, just as long as you had no attacks etc after age...15 or16 I think it was (hey, I signed my contract a loooong time ago lol, but I remember the asthma thing b/c my bro. has it)

    Frequently, in the animal ER I relief at I get calls such as:

    "my child ate a mouse I think was poisoned, what should I do?" (Uh, for the mouse or the kid? The mouse is dead...nothing I can do for you...call an MD or DO and poison control!)

    "my kid ate my dog's rimadyl (carprofen) what should I do?" (see the above)

    "can I get pregnant from my dog?" (um, no, but I suggest you contact your local psych dept...)

    "my dog is spying on me, what should I do?" (I think you should carpool to the psych facility with the dog sex lady)


    I'm gonna start wearing a tinfoil hat when I'm on telephone triage, I seem to be attracting whackitrons.
     
  24. IntheDraft6

    IntheDraft6 7+ Year Member

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    Land of Choas
    :eek: EEEEWWWWW!!!
     

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