ER Things To Ponder

[docB]

So one of the things that I love about EM is that I get to ask questions like this: Can you be in the military if you are a hermaphrodite?

I think this guy is totally FOS but his story is that he's a disabled vet (says he was shot in Grenada) although he has no scars where he says he was injured. Also claims to be a hermaphrodite. Since he was just drug seeking I didn't check. But I am curious.

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[Tiger26]

They won't even let you be in if you have asthma. W/that said as long as you have a recognizable pulse and you're not gay, I've heard a lot of stuff is waiverable right now.

 

[deleted6669]

They won't even let you be in if you have asthma. W/that said as long as you have a recognizable pulse and you're not gay, I've heard a lot of stuff is waiverable right now.

yup, the army will even waive certain felonies and drug convictions.....
and the recruiters are lying their butts off....buddy of mine(pa) just joined.....they paid off all his undergrad and pa school loans( >100k) + a 30k sign on bonus for 6 yrs active reserve duty. the recruiter assured him that the chance of an overseas deployment was "remote". he has a family and 2 kids under 3. all his collaegues tried to talk him out of it.
he's in afghanistan now.......

 

[Pose]

He knew the risk.

And he has no debt. Good investment, actually.

 

[GeneralVeers]

yup, the army will even waive certain felonies and drug convictions.....
and the recruiters are lying their butts off....buddy of mine(pa) just joined.....they paid off all his undergrad and pa school loans( >100k) + a 30k sign on bonus for 6 yrs active reserve duty. the recruiter assured him that the chance of an overseas deployment was "remote". he has a family and 2 kids under 3. all his collaegues tried to talk him out of it.
he's in afghanistan now.......

"Yes, I'd like to sign up for the army please! I want you to pay off all my loans, give me training/education, free food, clothing, and meals, but I don't want to go overseas and fight."

 

[deleted6669]

"Yes, I'd like to sign up for the army please! I want you to pay off all my loans, give me training/education, free food, clothing, and meals, but I don't want to go overseas and fight."

I know....you can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat.....

 

[docB]

I know....you can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat.....

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

 

[deleted6669]

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

exactly......
I worked standby as a medic for some of their concerts....needless to say I didn't get to watch much music....we intubated folks there.......

 

[WilcoWorld]

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

nice... where's that old SDN'er Syd Barret when you need him?

 

[docB]

nice... where's that old SDN'er Syd Barret when you need him?

Just for the sake of credit where credit is due emdpa made the original Wall reference. Kudos.

You just gotta love the EM forum. I ask a simple question about hermaphrodites in the military and we wind up talking about Pink Floyd.

 

[danielmd06]

You just gotta love the EM forum.

Agreed.

 

[EM_Rebuilder]

delete

 

[USCDiver]

insert

 

[docB]

So I've talked to all the military people I know and they all agree that a hermaphrodite wouldn't have been in the military, especially not during the Reagan administration. At leat this guy had chosen a war that fit with his age. I had one guy going on and on about "Nam." I pointed out that his birthday was in 1959 so he'd have been 15 when "Nam" ended. Of course that didn't shut him up. He started up about having worked for the CIA in Cambodia after the end of the war. I asked him what the acronym CIA stands for and he didn't know.

 

[Apollyon]

I asked him what the acronym CIA stands for and he didn't know.

Actually not an acronym (unless there are people that pronounce it "see-ya", or some other way), but the abbreviation might be "Catch It in the Ass"?

 

[edinOH]

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

Just another brick, man. Just another brick...

 

[docB]

Just another brick, man. Just another brick...

Agreed. Every scumbag drug seeker is just another brick.

 

[Jeff698]

Agreed. Every scumbag drug seeker is just another brick.

What a great analogy for EM life.

Pt: hey doc, i be hurtin' real bad. The medicine that work is that one that starts with a D

Me: Ah, I see you're gonna help build the wall.

Take care,
Jeff

 

[Jeff698]

Just another brick, man. Just another brick...

On further review, this clearly beats out 'snakes on a plane' as the perfect phrase for those situations you clearly aren't getting out of with your soul intact (like, say, most ED shifts).

I wonder how long it'll take to make it into the urban dictionary.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snakes+on+a+plane

Take care,
Jeff

 

[docB]

On further review, this clearly beats out 'snakes on a plane' as the perfect phrase for those situations you clearly aren't getting out of with your soul intact (like, say, most ED shifts).

I wonder how long it'll take to make it into the urban dictionary.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snakes+on+a+plane

Take care,
Jeff

Or, if you're more into The Doors: "No one here gets out alive."

 

[Jeff698]

Or, if you're more into The Doors: "No one here gets out alive."

The day divides the night; the night divides the day
Break on through, to the other side.

Yep, I'm a big Doors fan.

I'm still gonna be mumbling "you're just another brick, man, just another brick" when leaving the room with the troll in it, though.

Not that I would ever make such a judgemental comment, even to myself, about one of my patients, of course. Nor, I'm sure, would any of my SDN colleagues.

Brick, just another brick....

Take care,
Jeff

 

[Orthonut]

They won't even let you be in if you have asthma. W/that said as long as you have a recognizable pulse and you're not gay, I've heard a lot of stuff is waiverable right now.

Oh no, you can still join w/hx of asthma, just as long as you had no attacks etc after age...15 or16 I think it was (hey, I signed my contract a loooong time ago lol, but I remember the asthma thing b/c my bro. has it)

Frequently, in the animal ER I relief at I get calls such as:

"my child ate a mouse I think was poisoned, what should I do?" (Uh, for the mouse or the kid? The mouse is dead...nothing I can do for you...call an MD or DO and poison control!)

"my kid ate my dog's rimadyl (carprofen) what should I do?" (see the above)

"can I get pregnant from my dog?" (um, no, but I suggest you contact your local psych dept...)

"my dog is spying on me, what should I do?" (I think you should carpool to the psych facility with the dog sex lady)


I'm gonna start wearing a tinfoil hat when I'm on telephone triage, I seem to be attracting whackitrons.

 

[IntheDraft6]

"can I get pregnant from my dog?" (um, no, but I suggest you contact your local psych dept...)

EEEEWWWWW!!!