So it's official. I failed two of my classes by about ~2% and now I have to repeat the ENTIRE first year because more than one fail is enough. I am just at such a loss of what to do. I busted my ass all year long and worked so hard only to come up short. I just don't get what I did wrong. I don't want to make any excuses but I don't know what to do differently. I'm so embarrassed and I don't know what to say to all the friends I've grown close to in my class this year. All the people applying who I gave advice to will now see me in their class. The girl who dumped me and then got accepted into the class behind will now be sharing space with me again. I just don't know what to do. If I can't pass 1st year on the first go round, how am I supposed to pass 2nd year? What if I come to the end of 3 years of book work only to fail? Then I'll have 3 years of med school debt with nothing to show for it. I just don't know what to do... I'm really upset right now.
This is a blessing in disguise. The important thing to realize is that t
his is something that was meant to happen. If you did do as you say and put in a solid effort and you weren't distracted by girl troubles, video games, or something else, than this was always going to happen and the question was when would it show itself. Now that it's happened,
you should be glad that it's happened early. The road to medicine is long and you're just at the beginning. At this point, you've encountered a hurdle. It's good to hit such a thing
early on rather than later in during Steps,
Clerkships, and Residency if you're looking for a fellowship. Now, realize that you are not probably not one the best at memorizing the basic sciences which unfortunately determines your residency placement. I
won't sugar coat things and so that
residencies won't see this as a
red flag because they probably will. The thing is
you still have a huge upside.
I know this may seem "dumb"
consider making an appointment with a learning specialist. They're not gods, but they're decent and figuring out
where you're wasting your time. At the very least, you'll likely gain some
valuable introspection
As for friends, be very honest with those who matter to you. The best thing to do is to use humor, humility, and be positive about it. You'll only be seen in negative light if you try to like hide what your going through. This doesn't mean tell the whole world, but don't go out of your way to hide it.
That's what people interpret as insecurity, not the failure itself. Be humble. Just say what happened and try your best to be positive. I am sure no one will look down on it and if you take it with an air of positivity, you'll even gain some admirers.
Importantly, don't isolate yourself from your current friends because you, for some reason, feel insecure about the newly established power dynamic. That will show insecurity. Maintain your close friendships and also make friends with people in your new class too. Also, with regards to your ex, if it ever comes up, I would own up to it and be proud of yourself. Chances are she won't ask though.
Also, realize that if you do do well on Step, get some research, and do well on your clinical rotations, you can still match at a competitive program. It may not be Derm/ENT but there are plenty of other programs that will be willing to overlook that Year 1 slip (especially since it's so early) as compared to a year 2 or even year 3 slip.
Also,
I say this to everyone who experiences failure in medical school because I've seen lots of students who fail courses concurrently suffering with
extremely common mental health issues that I would
guestimate 50% of the general population struggles through at some point. At this point, if you think this applies to you, seek help because immediate help pretty much fixes the problem, whereas waiting just increases the spiral. If you need to, seek counseling. You don't need to seek a psychiatrist if you don't feel like you have a mental disorder, but seeing a university counselor or someone you just enjoy talking to may help.