I'm not sure if this is the place to post this, but this is really the only forum that I know that could provide good advice on this topic. To get straight to the point, I think my girlfriends ex is faking cancer. Normally I would NEVER accuse someone of lying about something as serious as this but some things just don't add up. He first mentioned his diagnosis a week after they broke up, convienent right? He told my girlfriend that he still wants her in his life at least as a friend, and feeling sympethic I told her that I was okay with that. Since then he's tried kissing her and I've had some serious issues with them continuing a friendship. What seems fishy to me is that despite going through chemotherapy for almost three months he hasnt lost any hair, and doesnt seem to be at a lack of energy. In fact, he still teaches martial arts several times a week. All of this on top of still working. Also, he convienently doesnt want to tell anyone else (Friends, family, work) about his diagnosis in an effort to prevent undue stress. He says he has acute myeloid leukemia. I'm not a doctor, but I think he's full of crap. Isn't AML the most severe form of leukemia with the highest mortality rate? What do you guys think?
Faking Cancer?
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68PGunner
Look up his Dx on Dr. UpToDate and report back your findings.
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So, OP is in the friendzone, mad that his crush may get sucked back in with her ex because of his cancer....maybe you should ask yourself if you have bias here that is clouding your judgment.
Anyways, if your friend is suspicious, she could just go with him to one of his chemo treatments or doctors appointments. Not all people lose hair and vomit all day from their chemotherapy regimen.
Anyways, if your friend is suspicious, she could just go with him to one of his chemo treatments or doctors appointments. Not all people lose hair and vomit all day from their chemotherapy regimen.
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Does sound pretty fishy to me and sounds like the guy's got some dependent personality traits (maybe others, but not going to make actual diagnoses). If the guy is really undergoing chemo for AML, he would have likely had to have stayed in the hospital at some point and would show some kind of sign that he's getting chemo, even if he's not losing hair. Could he be telling the truth? Sure, I'm a pretty skeptical person in general so maybe I'm jaded. I agree though that some things just aren't quite adding up if OP is being completely honest.
OP said it's his current GF's ex, so probably more bias even if it is more warranted. Even if the ex isn't losing his hair or vomiting, he should be showing some sort of outward sign that he's getting treatment. Idk, given what OP said it sounds like either there's more to his story that we're not hearing or there's something fishy going on with the ex.
OP said it's his current GF's ex, so probably more bias even if it is more warranted. Even if the ex isn't losing his hair or vomiting, he should be showing some sort of outward sign that he's getting treatment. Idk, given what OP said it sounds like either there's more to his story that we're not hearing or there's something fishy going on with the ex.
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Ah, the good ol cancer card. Well played on his part. I’ve tried this with a couple of my exes in the past. Great for getting a little sympathy a** , but will end up backfiring eventually.
Just keep on hanging out in the friendzone OP and eventually she’ll come running home when she is sick of lying losers and will turn to the “nice guy”
Just keep on hanging out in the friendzone OP and eventually she’ll come running home when she is sick of lying losers and will turn to the “nice guy”
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Just to add an anecdote, my ex and a different ex of my sister both claimed they had untreatable cancer post break-up (mine had an osteosarcoma with mets and hers had just "brain cancer"). After a couple months went by in each case, they both kind of forgot they had it and when questions started popping up, they both admitted to faking it. These happened about a year or so apart... why do some people make this stuff up? who knows but I still would likely take the situation seriously if it were to happen again.
Yes, she is my current gf so no, I'm not a jealous guy in the friend zone. In term's of bias, I'd like to think that I'm looking at this situation from a pretty objective standpoint. At least as objective as I can be for the position I'm in. When he originally told her that he had cancer, I didnt second guess him. I even said that he and my girlfriend could still be friends. The only reason I became uncomfortable with their relationship is because he tried to kiss her. I'm not a jealous person, but there's certain lines that you don't cross. I only got a little suspicous after noticing that he had litterally no symptoms of having what I know to be an extremely serious illness. This along with him not wanting to tell seems a little odd to me. But if you guys think I'm just overreacting, maybe you're right. Maybe I've made connection that arent there. Idk. With that being said, there is no more detail to this story I can tell you. It still seems fishy to me...
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Ask to see his bone marrow aspiration scars.
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Il Destriero
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Il Destriero
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So would it be okay for him to try to kiss your girlfriend if you knew for a fact that he did have cancer? Either you are okay with the way he interacts with your girlfriend, or you aren't. The whole cancer issue strikes me as a red herring. Whether he's faking or not shouldn't change the way that you respond to the things that he is doing.
Edit: the above may be a little overly unsympathetic. I can understand wanting to give some leeway to someone who is sick. But if you really have ongoing, serious issues with the way he relates to your GF, I wouldn't let the "does he or doesn't he have cancer" question become the central issue rather than the actual actions that he's taking that you have a problem with.
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Maybe wait until he tries to kiss her again and punch him in the mouth. If he doesn’t stop bleeding it’s probably from his treatment induced thrombocytopenia.
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Il Destriero
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Il Destriero
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Protip. She wants to be "Friends" with him even if he didnt have cancer.
Break up with her. Delete Facebook, hit the gym, and install tinder.
Break up with her. Delete Facebook, hit the gym, and install tinder.
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