Family issues

[Squirmish]

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I know that there are plenty of other threads out there with similar stories, but I'm going to post my story anyway.

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer recently and his Gleason score sucks, if you get my point. He was given an injection of leuprolide, I believe, and the doctor is going to wait a couple of weeks before discussing treatment options, prognosis, etc. He doesn't have any metastases, thankfully, but the very high Gleason score really worries me.

I've been having a few other personal issues this year and now with my dad and his disease, I'm miserable. It's getting really hard to concentrate on my studies. I'm a MS3 and it's difficult to put on a "happy face" during the day. Sometimes I'm happy that I'm doing my rotations because there are times when it takes my mind off my dad and my other issues. But sometimes I start thinking about it and I just don't feel like doing anything.

I'm really concerned that this is going to affect my school stuff. I know there's always the option of taking some time off from school to take care of my personal issues but at the same time, I want to be able to graduate in 1.5 years. I want my dad to be around to see me when I graduate since he was always my biggest supporter when I was growing up. But he already told me that he hopes that none of this affects my schoolwork so I know he wants me to keep up with school as long as possible. I also want to graduate on time for other personal reasons, but for sake of anonymity, I'll leave them out.

I don't know what to do. I refuse to tell anyone in my class about this situation for now because I don't want to be known as the student-whose-dad-has-prostate-cancer. I'm also seeking professional help so I have that covered. I really, really don't want this to affect school matters but I just don't know. 🙁

Any advice will be much appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Depakote]

ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.


I'd at least recommend that you make sure your school's dean's office is aware of the situation. That way, if you decide you want to spend time with your family, the process will be streamlined. Plus, they might be able to offer other support while you're on your rotations.

Good luck.

 

[Jolie South]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I would definitely talk about it with student affairs, the dean, or whoever manages these types of issues at your school. I'm sure your school would be more than understanding if you did decide to take some time off.

I also wouldn't write off your classmates. We've had a number of family illnesses and deaths in my class and everyone was super supportive and willing to help in any way that they could.

 

[DeeJay2728]

I'm really sorry about your dad. You're right... it's very hard to concentrate. My mother was diagnosed with Cancer in May of this year. Our whole family thought she'd be alright... Parents are invincible. She went in for surgery May 12th to remove as much of the cancer as they could, which they did. The plan after that was to start chemo, to get rid of any cancer cells that were left behind. My mother was, until then, a healthy 56 year old woman. I left for med school in July and at that point everything was going as planned, she was fine. The doctors had her treatment all ready to go. But she never fully recovered from the surgery. She got infection, after infection, after infection. On August 18th my dad called me with "the news"... My mothers organs began to fail. I flew home to be with her and she died September 6th. If you feel you need to take the time to go and be with your father, do it. You'll never get that time back. The Dean at my school was very understanding... I'm sure your will be as well.


You'll know what's best for you,
Many Blessings to you and your family!!

 

[reedman]

you need to email the dean's office immediately, just to let it be know that you might need to take some time off. That way if your grades suddenly drop or you have a breakdown the dean will already know about you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad, if my dad was very sick I would probably try to spend as much time with him as possible even if that means putting off school for a bit. If the worst happens you need to have as few regrets as possible because they stick with you long after a loved one passes away. I know this from personal experience.

 

[Nikki2002]

i would never want you to feel regret that you focused too much on school and didn't spend enough time with your dad. years down the road it probably won't matter if it took you extra time to finish school but the extra time you had with your dad could really help bring you closure. i'm telling you from experience--in my case the prognosis was very poor for my loved one and if i could go back i would spend every moment i could with them.